In a thread on “Want to experience the nonstop attention, validation, and abundance that today’s young women have?”, someone suggested that Seeking Arrangements is a good way to do it. I concur, mostly, but I want to emphasize reservations.
Seeking Arrangements is oddly similar to normal online dating, and it’s an amalgam of normal-ish girls and outright pros. The latter will be more business-focused upfront and want to talk about money, rates, etc. I usually let these go and focus more on the non-pro girls (who are also usually younger).
You need to list income, net worth, etc. I exaggerate mine somewhat (you need to, for the same reason women lie about their age, plus I am not showing these women my tax returns), and I use variations of the online dating pics I already have. These are effective. The fatter, older, and uglier you are, the more SA is like standard hooking. The younger, fitter, and more attractive you are, the closer it can be to online dating. Again, the key word is “can,” because you still need game.
You also NEED:
- Ultra-strong frame
- High level of assertiveness.
If you lack either you will be owned. Sex workers are masters of frame and if you don’t maintain extremely strong frame, she will crush you. A guy always needs to maintain the idea that she needs him more than he needs her, and that is more true in paid situations.
When I meet girls from there I suggest that we get a drink and see if we like each other. For girls under 21 I know bars where we can meet w/o them getting carded. If they balk and demand money talk first I move on cause they’re likely a conventional pro. I know where to find those and how to negotiate with them—if I want one of those I will find one.
If we get a drink and I like the girl and she’s as described, I do standard game, bar one, then bar two (which has a dance floorish area where I can do some dancing and what not), then back to my place (if I can get her there). Like I said, this is mostly standard game, lots of talk about their experiences / dreams / desires / etc. Sometimes towards the end I will slide $20 in their underwear if they are money-driven and whisper shit like, “There is more where that came from.” Usually I put $100 in an envelope before I leave; if they come back and we have sex I give it to them and set a next meeting time, ideally by putting it in their phones. If the girl seems not interested in money, I will skip the money.
Usually if we have sex once we’ll have it more than once, and if the girl is compliant and not bitchy the sex is almost always decent. I have a kind of specialty in going down on girls, which I both enjoy and have practiced to apparently unusual heights. I also am good at balancing talking to girls about what feels good and just nailing them senseless.
Guys cannot treat a girl like a programming problem where we stop every 10 seconds to ask her something, but different girls like different things. Some girls have very delicate nipples and lightly touching them is great. Some like it much rougher. Etc. I also like taking girls to sex shops, buying butt plugs and ropes and shit like that, and then using it on them. Girls who have never had sex with buttplugs in them LOVE it. As with all dating, guys who are extremely good at sex will find retaining girls. And many SA girls will be less focused on money, obviously.
Once that dam is broken SA girls, and one in particular, will usually let me do whatever else I want, mostly going bare, taping sex, and taking them to sex parties; I know that the first is fucking dangerous and I just don’t care because I love it. But it is not something I would do w/ standard-issue escorts because it is too dangerous, and it is not something they would let me do (or not except for a lot of money, and even then I wouldn’t).
Some guys may want to work on getting girls without paying for them from SA, etc., but to be honest I think that’s a waste of time, unless it arises organically; the better girls are on there for a reason and I think it is better to keep them coming back for money and action. The ones who I’ve kept on the hook all say the same thing, that they love the sex and the money and the two together are the best.
The variability of SA is incredibly high. Many of the girls are lying about their weight / age, as always happens online. Some are deceptively less attractive in their online pics, and they are more attractive IRL. Seems bizarre but there it is. Total trailer trash girls (who I mostly avoid) will congregate there too. They are usually easy to pick out via their pictures.
Pros (or women trending in that direction) will negotiate rates, sometimes absurd rates; I will go to $250 on the date if I’m really in the mood and she’s really beautiful but that is uncommon.
The downside of SA is that it can combine the flakiness of online dating with the cost of conventional hookers. The upside, however, is that there are often young uncertain girls who can be played like conventional dates, which I’m pretty good at, and they can be gotten fairly cheaply.
The girl I am seeing now is wildly gorgeous and I’m just doing $500/mo direct deposit. I usually see her every other day to four times a week. It’s been fantastic so far and I’ve dropped off SA. I’ll also buy her lingerie and other sex-related stuff but don’t do the whole designer bullshit thing. I have run into the girls who are really pumping for expensive bullshit and I just let them go, usually by ghosting. Let them be someone else’s problem. At the end of the day it’s all about cost-benefit.
I think guys who have money and are in good shape are highly in-demand on SA. Most guys have neither and some have one or the other. I’ve had girls complain that most of the guys they meet are poor losers; in other words, they are getting flaked on more than the guys (haha, reversal of the world order).
With my latest, the one on the plan, I don’t know what she’s doing on her time off and I’m sure many of you will assume the usual. That may be true. If so she is very good at scheduling and logistics.
I also love the swingers scene and swingers parties, but it is very hard to find good ones. Most of you hate that shit but the way I look at it is simple: there are really only two sets of girls, girls you’d think about LTRs w/ children and ones you wouldn’t. I have kids already, two older ones and one infant from an older woman (a post for another time) and I really just want to do dirty dirty shit in the bedroom, get laid a lot, video tape the sex, etc. When I’m not working I’m working out or cooking or reading or chasing tail. I just don’t care that much about a given woman’s monogamy and if she flakes, whatever, I get another one, sometimes hotter.
If you are an older guy and you have cash and you are not doing some ego thing about getting laid (Nick Krauser is an ego-driven guy; I just want to nut in hot girls. Simple man, simple pleasures), spending small amounts of it to get with hot 18 – 24 yr old girls is a pretty good use of money. I know lots of guys who spend $10K+ per year on cars and vacations and boats and big houses and dumb shit like that. Waste of money IMO. The marginal return on investment is NOT THERE.
I know a lot of guys who got divorce raped and would LOVE to have hundreds of thousands of dollars in the form of lifetime earnings or even the million+ dollars lost to their ex-spouses. Who’s smarter, the guy who doesn’t get married and sometimes pays to play, or the guy who does and loses so much $$$$ to someone who he doesn’t even like anymore (and who probably doesn’t like him)? I know lots of guys who take their bitchy materialistic wives on costly vacations and they don’t seem to get shit out of it except hassle.
Anyway, I am not going to convince any of you who hate paying for it. Or those of you who love the chase and get an ego thing out of it. I do think that if you contextualize paying for sex, it can end up less expensive AND better. I see guys who slaved away through med school and residency who’re overweight and ugly dating and marrying land whales in their mid-30s. No thanks. What was the point of all that effort again? Same w/ engineers, CS guys, finance guys, oil guys (oh my God, the oil guys and their fat wives). They are pussy-poor and cash rich. Er… we live in a market economy. Use the one to get the other. The number of hot girls w/ no money and poor decision-making skills is outstanding.
I also think it is not worth paying for it in most cases if you’re a young guy and doing okay in terms of game, body, and life. Paying for it is for 35+, maybe 40+. If you’re in your 20s you need to be developing the skills to NOT pay for it, and invest any extra money you can in the stock market. At my age it is possible to get young hot girls but it is hard (I have done it, free and clear, but I cannot do it online and I have way more misses than hits, even though my friends imagine me being some kind of baller player dude).
Plus, I look at most guys my age and they Can. Not. get a hot 18 – 25 yr old girl. Period. I know it’s possible, like I said I’ve done it before, but it is hard for most guys, and, for me, chicks in the late 20s and early 30s are easier, except for some ecosystem advantage.
Again, what I am saying about SA is NOT ALWAYS TRUE and it will take you some dates to get used to it. The girls on it range from stone pros to genuinely confused teenagers. Often you will not know who you date until you get out with them. Going rate for good escort sex in my area is $200 – $300/hr (I don’t know why guys would spend more than an hour but go figure). Higher in LA/NYC/SF. It seems possible to get good escorts for as little as $150/hr but that is much dicier and IMO not worth the drama or problems.
As you can tell I kinda like SA because it allows me to leverage above-average money with above-average (not stellar) game.
tl;dr: You can do well on SA but it takes skill as well as money and has some peculiarities. Your game still matters.