So I was walking around tonight and saw this pretty blonde girl emerge from an alley, and something about her and the way she walked made me think: “I think I know what she just did in there.” As I passed the alley I checked: no guy. Her skirt was just slightly askew and I jogged up to say, “Did you just pee in there?”
She was mortified, not confused, and said, too quickly, “No!”
Normal girls would probably be confused. She wasn’t and that told me what I needed. I was like, “Come on, we’ve all been there. I know and you know. Now we’re part of a secret society.”
She softened and still denied it, but in that way girls deny shit that’s true.
I was like, “You must’ve had a wild night, but you’re not the kind of person who usually does this. What’ve you been up to?”
Like most girls she couldn’t answer or tell stories, so I launched into a story about taking ecstasy that involved a hot tub. She seemed interested and we had some back and forth. I tried to get her to have a drink with me. No go. I tried to get her number and she was visibly teetering between doing it and not and decided not. She claimed she had a boyfriend. Saying I didn’t care and the usual boyfriend-destroyer stuff didn’t sway her. Maybe she did and thought I was entertaining. Who knows. But I got more traction than I should have, considering how gross she’d behaved.
Asking a girl if she just peed in public is a stupid approach if you’re gunning for the highest probability shot, but when you’ve taken enough shots entertainment value goes up. She’s also going to become a story, about the girl who peed in the alley.