“I thus conclude she’d always fancied me but her circumstances had changed in the interim.” Complete story at the link. Something similar likely happened to the woman I wrote about in “Snapchat in game: ‘Wish this was you.’” The girl from this story is an even longer example, in terms of time passed between initial contact and lay.
If you get a hard “no” from a woman, never contact her again. But time resets a lot of clocks, and there’s often no reason to totally burn a cold lead. Cold leads can warm suddenly.
Downside is, enough time often turns attractive women fat. In the last year I’ve gotten renewed contact from three women I knew years ago, all of whom had gotten fat enough for me to be uninterested. A very strange thing and maybe a sign of getting older. One I met for a coffee, and she went nuts when I evaded her offers of drinks and dinners and said that I don’t see her in a romantic way. I pulled a total girl move, in other words. A longer story for another time. I probably ought not to have talked as much as I did about zero sugar. I also have this thing where I like to invite fatties to workout with me. They never do it.
This morning I was riding and came to a tricky section, and a girl was slowing down in front of me. I told her to take lead, and she told me to, so I did. When we passed the tricky section I slowed down and said that I was glad we’d gotten through there. She agreed and I asked where she’s going. She said yoga (a good sign) and I told I’d been trying it as a supplement to weightlifting. A little too gay and friendly, maybe, but it popped out. We talked about yoga and I told her to wait at the next light, because I want to get her number.
At the light I pulled out my phone and gave it to her and said that life is like waiting at the light: if you don’t act quickly the opportunity goes away.
A pretty basic interaction overall, but her energy was high. I’ve promised myself that I’m going to stop hitting on women and dating for a while in order to recover myself, but this morning I slipped into old habits, but I brought more energy to the interaction than I have in many recent interactions. When you’ve conditioned yourself to flirt as long as I have, you get used to acting in the moment. She gave me the phone back and I said I looked forward to seeing her and gave her hand a little squeeze. That surprised her. Not sure if it’s in a good or bad way.
She rode off and I caught up to my kids, who’d seen the number exchange. I really ought to hide things better from them, but the moment is everything. Instead of being terrifying, being in the moment has become thrilling.
Yeah, yeah, I know that I wrote about how I almost never write field reports… only to keep writing field reports. If I notice a situation that might have useful learning points for other guys I’ll write about it.
I love this story from Tom Torero. Sometimes things go bizarrely for reasons mostly outside your control. In this case, he snagged a definite “yes girl” almost by accident. Some of the most confusing times can occur when there are no obstacles. I’m trying to think of a story similar to his, but none have that combination of fast sex with a total stranger met on public transport. A couple times I’ve slept with friends of women I’ve been sleeping with, but those situations were more social proof and seeing the moment than game.
“I fired a girl | red flags, female encroachment” is good. This is how pretty much all my relationships have ended since I broke up with the woman who I lived with and who I had two kids with:
Usually the girl would try to raise the stakes — to encroach on my territory, you might say. A mix of being less agreeable, less sexual, and more demanding. That is a fucking retarded plan for a girl to roll-out, but I’ve seen it over and over.
I see it over and over again, in my own relationships and my friends’s relationships. After living with a woman and painfully breaking up with her in my 20s (a story I might tell here) I vowed that I was never going to live with a woman again. So pretty much every relationship I’ve had dies when the woman wants to move in with me, or find a timeline for moving in.
Only two of them were really hard to let go. One was a younger girl I met in a coffeeshop and who I dated for almost two years, starting when she was 19. Not only had I vowed never to move in with a woman again, but she was way too young for that to work. Only experience can or will teach her that. Last I heard she’s in a relationship with a guy who is modestly older than her, instead of way too old for her.
The other was with a woman who wasn’t exactly a nymphomaniac, but she’d either been told or figured out that keeping a man’s balls empty is a good way of keeping a man. While she loved sex, I’m not sure she loved it more than the average girl. She also loved giving head and that did set her apart from the average girl. She would give it at every opportunity. Morning. Nights. Afternoons. I could barely keep up with her demands in that department. They never dropped off. When she was on her period, she wanted to make sure I was okay. I’ve never seen one like her before. We only broke it off because I wouldn’t marry or cohabitate. It took me a long time to get out of that script. Now that I’m out I’m likely never going back. If not never, then not for many years. I wonder what I’ll be like at age 60. By then maybe I will have mellowed enough.
She married the guy after me. No surprise. I don’t talk to her anymore but I bet he’s as happy as he can be in a marriage. When I hear women complain about guys I think about her. She didn’t complain. She wasn’t an expert cook but she would cook. And that sex. Those lips. The willingness. Her thrills. I doubt she’s been cheated on. Who would have the time or energy? If my ex (who I had the kids with) had been like her, we’d probably still be together and you wouldn’t be reading this. She, the highly sexed girl, wasn’t perfect (no one is, including me), but she had incredible fundamentals.
This is pretty accurate, although I think its success will vary by area. You should also recognize its basic outlines because I wrote a similar post (that girl I mentioned? I dropped her as she went more pro). But success will also vary by vibe and by your masculine energy. If your masculine energy and presence are low, you probably aren’t going to “salt date.”
I also don’t think this situation is going to last forever. As more guys figure out that pretending to be rich can work, girls will get wise to it. Kind of like Tinder. I heard about Tinder before it hit pop culture. For the first two years it was a gold mine. Today it’s a pile of shit. Market conditions change as people learn about the conditions and adjust their behaviors.