Tom Torero has an interesting essay, “Where PUAs go to die,” which has some notes you’ll recognize from “I was also wondering if I really wanted to stay in the Game.” Beginner guys should not read either in my opinion. Intermediate and advanced guys aged 30+ might find them profitable, though.
I think that Torero point #3, “Boredom,” is tied to and precedes Torero point #1, “They get married / under-the-thumb and denounce the player life.” Except I don’t think guys who quit being players have to denounce being a player (although maybe they do; we all have a narrative and our narrative memes we like to propagate almost as much as our genetic legacy).
I’m not sure I have enough experience or lifestyle to be a “player,” though some women have told me I am. But I have been feeling bored with the pickup-seduction-bed-repeat process. The end result, sex, is still worthwhile, but the process is less exciting and I’m considerably less willing to put up with female bullshit in pursuit of sex than I used to be.
I think Tom has had at least some similar feelings before. In his book Daygame he says near the end, “Despite all of this sounding like a rock star’s life, the novelty of having lots of sex with hot girls had really worn off.” For me the novelty has worn off a little bit, but I still like the sex just not the process. Somewhere in the book I’m pretty sure Tom says that he likes the seduction challenge as much as or even more than the sex, while I feel the opposite way. Or I am just lazier, which is a hypothesis that should never be discarded.
Boredom is often a sign that we need to find new challenges and develop new skills. When I first started dating and sleeping with women as a teenager I was never bored and I was a total hound for sex. Now I’m too often bored and I almost “know” too much about sex. The prettiest women often have underdeveloped personalities, too. Not all of them, certainly, but a lot.
Guys who experience enough boredom probably look to kids and the next generation as their next challenge. Makes sense to me, but I already have them and do not especially want more. So that common route is foreclosed to me. I’m not entirely sure what’s next. Maybe I will never have the life mate that blue pill society tells us to find. That’s okay with me as I’m not seeking one, but I also can’t foresee myself forever chasing fresh tail.
I wrote this before, but it is also noticeable that almost all the guys in game have a narrative about doing poorly with women in high school and their 20s. I had the opposite experience (with many errors that I now recognize of course, neediness and too little escalating being more prominent) and now I theorize that after 50 – 100 different girls the hunger for pure novelty is lessened or more satisfied. One begins to seek other qualities or challenges.
For now, tail is good. I brought Bike Girl to that sex party. It was successful, I thought, and she kissed some women (something she claimed to have only done once before, “claimed” being the key word here). I will write more about that later. I also am meaning to finish my writing about Tom’s book Daygame, which is highly recommended. Work, sex, and real life have been occupying me.
I also have a post about sex clubs, non-monogamy, and game as well. That route may be a way of “weaseling” out of cold approach. Or as I think of it, efficiency. Regardless of what it’s called, I’m still surprised more game guys don’t try it.
I will never denounce players! The game goes on forever, even when I exit this earth and find it left to the guys after me.
Only question is, how do I explain it to daughters? I genuinely don’t know. The RP answers I have seen read like nonsensical purity fantasies that do not recognize the modern world or sexuality’s place in it. Those RP answers also come from guys who do not seem to have talked much to actual, live women about their early experiences. The most common cultural answer seems to be, “Do nothing and let them learn from pornography and magazines and their equally ignorant peers.” Also not so good, but I think most parents slide in that direction because it’s easiest. Or they lie.
Maybe lies make the social world go round.