So. The new Esther Perel book, The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity ,is out. I read her first book Mating in Captivity and that book solidified to me how dangerous Western marriage is. I’ve been slipping Mating in Captivity to friends, after a couple of beers, for years. I’m sure most of them don’t read it. Then they marry and divorce and cry when their exes take all their money.
You need to read the new book, although I’ve only gotten through a few pages. This is an important part:
Whether we like it or not, philandering is here to stay. And all the ink spilled advising us on how to “affair-proof” our relationships has not managed to curb the number of men and women who wander. Infidelity happens in good marriages, in bad marriages, and even when adultery is punishable by death.
She’s right. So the solution is, do not get married. And if she says that baby is yours, get the DNA test to prove it. RP guys like to say there are guys who are cheated on and guys who are cheated with. Be the latter. Don’t get married. It’s not impossible that a married (not to me) woman had my kid, and I should write that story (she was married, work weekend, she wanted to use a condom…).
Know how to “rethink infidelity?” Rethink marriage. Specifically, guys shouldn’t marry, at least not while the legal system in the United States is stacked against them.
Feminists have been castigating marriage for decades. They’re going to get a world where guys don’t want to subsidize chicks. Which isn’t going to make a lot of women happy. Guys are waking up.