“Evolutionary theory says men stray to increase offspring, but what motivates women? Enter the mate-switching hypothesis”

Why women stray: Evolutionary theory says men stray to increase offspring, but what motivates women? Enter the mate-switching hypothesis.” An excellent essay by David Buss and offered without much commentary. For men the important thing to know is that most women will stray if given the chance and the right opportunity. Be the guy she cheats with, not the one she cheats on.

I have a post aout David P. Barash’s book Out of Eden: The Surprising Consequences of Polygamy coming down the pike. I highly recommend it. Understanding the theory helps the practice. Most guys have neither.

Your girl’s male “friends?” Usually they’re alternate options.

Bike Girl at the party

Like I mentioned, I took Bike Girl to the sex party, and from my perspective it went pretty well. She was incredibly, cutely nervous and anxious and kept talking about calling it off. But I told her that I’d RSVPed and that being a flake is bad.

I already knew about half the people there, so the social proof aspect was high before things got started. I encouraged her to kiss other women, which she was reluctant to do at first but after two drinks and some gentle encouragement from me and the crowd she got into it. Like most women she wants to be led, gently but firmly, and I was in my element while she was out of hers.

She didn’t sleep with anyone else and neither did I. I think this was an “eye opening” experience for her, though, and it expanded the range of her possibilities. We talked a lot about what it would be like before and what it would be like after.

Bad news is that the hosts of the party don’t have the face control they could. There were about four other attractive couples and one or two other attractive women, and there were too many overweight people. But water finds its own level and people tended to find their level of attractiveness.

We’re going to go back to another one, I’m sure. Most interesting from a game perspective, near the end of the party I was getting another drink and spotted one of the other attractive women coming back from the bathroom. Chatted for a minute and then got her phone # on a napkin. I’ve been seeing Bike Girl every other day or so, but last week on one of the off days I went to get a drink with this girl. She knew what was up, I think, and didn’t tell her boyfriend about it.

Now, this is pretty unusual, and I’ve tried this before and more often than not it fails. Most women will not do things independently without their partner; in this case, if she’d been unwilling, I would’ve tried to set up a 2:2 date. But she was willing and there was very little game; she was a “yes girl” and I already knew her secret, as she knew mine. That’s one reason I like the non-monogamy community: done well it’s an easy, easy place to fish. Downside is that very few 8+ women exist in it. Or they do and I don’t see them yet. If your goal is to hit the very top of the attractiveness curve hit the streets, hit the gym, don’t think too much about this scene.

But if you want some easy novelty and like group sex like I do, simple pickup can work.

I hesitate to post about this because, like I said, the Party Girl situation fails more often than not, and there isn’t a lot of lesson to take other than “take the shot.” I don’t think my game is strong and that’s part of the reason I post those links in the sidebar. The guys listed there likely have far stronger technical game.

In a couple weeks I’m going to try and take Bike Girl to a club. She’s hesitant about making this a regular thing but she’s not saying no. I wrote this in another post, but in my experience about a quarter of girls are excited by non-monogamy and sex clubs. About a quarter say no outright. About half are intrigued and can be led to it. Bike Girl is in that half.

Most guys in the scene have zero game, so they aren’t good at bringing new girls in. I have some game, so over the years I’ve built up a reputation that Bike Girl has reinforced. This opened up and opens up a lot of new opportunities, because no one really knows how attractive a guy is, including girls, but everyone knows how pretty the girl a guy has is. Bring in pretty girls and the girls will want you more.

To me this is next-level game. But I also already have kids and don’t want monogamy. If a guy doesn’t want monogamy, then it seems like going out with one girl in order to trade with others is a net gain. She’s likely got FWBs of her own, so why not capitalize on her desires to make a trade?

Not many guys think this way, from what I can tell. Most guys are also bad in bed, which limits their appeal in the scene. But for a put-together guy, it can be a gold mine.

Last week or two have been crazy. Almost too crazy. I said I was getting bored of the game, and I am, but then when it’s right in front of me, I don’t act bored.

I’ve said before that I think sex drives me more than the ego boost from seduction. I wonder if in actuality fear of reliance on a single woman drives me more than anything else. That doesn’t seem likely to me but it doesn’t seem impossible either.

“I Love My Girlfriend. So Why Do I Keep Cheating on Her?”

I have some more work to do before the weekend, but I saw “I Love My Girlfriend. So Why Do I Keep Cheating on Her?” and had to laugh. Guys want to bang as many girls as possible because evolution has tuned them to spread their seed. Most guys, given the choice, will sleep with as many women as possible.

Most guys, of course, don’t have the choice, and struggle to find even a single woman.

The article is funny because the woman writing the response, Lori Gottlieb, knows zero about evolutionary biology and thus cannot answer the question adequately.

If this guy has good enough game to cheat, it’s also not a surprise that his girlfriend as well as other women like him. Women like guys other women like, so when an attractive woman is with a guy, she increases his ability to get more women.

Funny how that works. And most women don’t seem to realize it.

“Where PUAs go to die”

Tom Torero has an interesting essay, “Where PUAs go to die,” which has some notes you’ll recognize from “I was also wondering if I really wanted to stay in the Game.” Beginner guys should not read either in my opinion. Intermediate and advanced guys aged 30+ might find them profitable, though.

I think that Torero point #3, “Boredom,” is tied to and precedes Torero point #1, “They get married / under-the-thumb and denounce the player life.” Except I don’t think guys who quit being players have to denounce being a player (although maybe they do; we all have a narrative and our narrative memes we like to propagate almost as much as our genetic legacy).

I’m not sure I have enough experience or lifestyle to be a “player,” though some women have told me I am. But I have been feeling bored with the pickup-seduction-bed-repeat process. The end result, sex, is still worthwhile, but the process is less exciting and I’m considerably less willing to put up with female bullshit in pursuit of sex than I used to be.

I think Tom has had at least some similar feelings before. In his book Daygame he says near the end, “Despite all of this sounding like a rock star’s life, the novelty of having lots of sex with hot girls had really worn off.” For me the novelty has worn off a little bit, but I still like the sex just not the process. Somewhere in the book I’m pretty sure Tom says that he likes the seduction challenge as much as or even more than the sex, while I feel the opposite way. Or I am just lazier, which is a hypothesis that should never be discarded.

Boredom is often a sign that we need to find new challenges and develop new skills. When I first started dating and sleeping with women as a teenager I was never bored and I was a total hound for sex. Now I’m too often bored and I almost “know” too much about sex. The prettiest women often have underdeveloped personalities, too. Not all of them, certainly, but a lot.

Guys who experience enough boredom probably look to kids and the next generation as their next challenge. Makes sense to me, but I already have them and do not especially want more. So that common route is foreclosed to me. I’m not entirely sure what’s next. Maybe I will never have the life mate that blue pill society tells us to find. That’s okay with me as I’m not seeking one, but I also can’t foresee myself forever chasing fresh tail.

I wrote this before, but it is also noticeable that almost all the guys in game have a narrative about doing poorly with women in high school and their 20s. I had the opposite experience (with many errors that I now recognize of course, neediness and too little escalating being more prominent) and now I theorize that after 50 – 100 different girls the hunger for pure novelty is lessened or more satisfied. One begins to seek other qualities or challenges.

For now, tail is good. I brought Bike Girl to that sex party. It was successful, I thought, and she kissed some women (something she claimed to have only done once before, “claimed” being the key word here). I will write more about that later. I also am meaning to finish my writing about Tom’s book Daygame, which is highly recommended. Work, sex, and real life have been occupying me.

I also have a post about sex clubs, non-monogamy, and game as well. That route may be a way of “weaseling” out of cold approach. Or as I think of it, efficiency. Regardless of what it’s called, I’m still surprised more game guys don’t try it.

I will never denounce players! The game goes on forever, even when I exit this earth and find it left to the guys after me.

Only question is, how do I explain it to daughters? I genuinely don’t know. The RP answers I have seen read like nonsensical purity fantasies that do not recognize the modern world or sexuality’s place in it. Those RP answers also come from guys who do not seem to have talked much to actual, live women about their early experiences. The most common cultural answer seems to be, “Do nothing and let them learn from pornography and magazines and their equally ignorant peers.” Also not so good, but I think most parents slide in that direction because it’s easiest. Or they lie.

Maybe lies make the social world go round.