“What Happens When a Married Woman Goes on Tinder?” is about one thing for guys: don’t get married.
My husband and I met at a party on a quiet street in a college town. In the years since, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and talking and writing about marriage, and I’d begun to notice more and more women subverting, reimagining, or challenging received notions surrounding the institution, specifically when it came to monogamy.
“Subverting” and “reimagining” means that she’s being subsidized by one guy while she’s fucking other guys. Why would a guy want to financially subsidize a woman who is going out and giving her best self to other dudes?
I advocate non-monogamy for guys, but I also advocate for not marrying, because marriage is a contract horribly slanted in the woman’s favor. If you sign up to marry, she can go fuck other guys and bear their children, then divorce her husband and take half his cash anyway. Why would any guy sign up for that kind of deal? What’s he getting out of it? It used to fidelity and a kept house. Now it’s what, sex? A guy who wants a lot of sex is better served to hit the gym and chat up hot chicks.
I’ve always felt like an average-looking woman, a solid 6 or maybe a 7 if I bother to wear mascara, but swiping through my matches and messages, I felt like a special species. I felt coveted and appreciated and valued and desired.
Women love attention and modern Tinder can be pretty stupid. If she’s on Tinder, she might just be looking for attention. She might also be looking for more. Again, why would a guy let his wife do this?
As for Pete, he was learning that married men on Tinder did not get quite the same level of positive feedback (or harassment) as married women. Matches were harder to come by, and when Pete reiterated to the women he matched with that he was in fact married, they did not think it was fabulous or awesome.
No shit: women are the gatekeepers of sex. Pete is a pretty low-status guy to begin with. He has no game and is probably not good looking. There are a million Petes but a limited number of women offering NSA sex. A lot of women want to have sex with guys who, in the woman’s mind, can lead to something more. A guy already married can’t lead to something more, most of the time.
We don’t know whether this woman really deleted her Tinder account or whether she’s going to reactive it after her next fight with Pete. For guys the lesson is simple. Why would you want to be Pete?