“What Happens When a Married Woman Goes on Tinder?” Don’t get married

What Happens When a Married Woman Goes on Tinder?” is about one thing for guys: don’t get married.

My husband and I met at a party on a quiet street in a college town. In the years since, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and talking and writing about marriage, and I’d begun to notice more and more women subverting, reimagining, or challenging received notions surrounding the institution, specifically when it came to monogamy.

“Subverting” and “reimagining” means that she’s being subsidized by one guy while she’s fucking other guys. Why would a guy want to financially subsidize a woman who is going out and giving her best self to other dudes? He wouldn’t.

I advocate non-monogamy for guys, but I also advocate for not marrying. Marriage is a contract horribly slanted in the woman’s favor. If you sign up to marry, she can go fuck other guys and bear their children, then divorce her husband and take half his cash anyway. Why would any guy sign up for that kind of deal?

I’ve always felt like an average-looking woman, a solid 6 or maybe a 7 if I bother to wear mascara, but swiping through my matches and messages, I felt like a special species. I felt coveted and appreciated and valued and desired.

Women love attention and modern Tinder can be pretty stupid. If she’s on Tinder, she might just be looking for attention. She might also be looking for more. Again, why would a guy let his wife do this?

As for Pete, he was learning that married men on Tinder did not get quite the same level of positive feedback (or harassment) as married women. Matches were harder to come by, and when Pete reiterated to the women he matched with that he was in fact married, they did not think it was fabulous or awesome.

No shit. Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Pete is a pretty low-status guy to begin with. He has no game and is probably not good looking. There are a million Petes but a limited number of women offering NSA sex.

We don’t know whether this woman really deleted her Tinder account or whether she’s going to reactive it after her next fight with Pete. For guys the lesson is simple. Why would you want to be Pete?

Don’t get married. Be the guy she cheats with, not the guy she cheats on.

Author: The Red Quest

How can we live and be in society?

3 thoughts on ““What Happens When a Married Woman Goes on Tinder?” Don’t get married”

  1. >> I advocate non-monogamy for guys, but I also advocate for not marrying. Marriage is a contract horribly slanted in the woman’s favor.

    I appreciate your POV here, as always. And I think I also know enough about your personal story that your POV is more interesting to me than it might be for another guy, or a younger guy… as you have kids (is that right?).

    I was talking with my wing about “agreeing to the rules with women.” And he was thinking about this in a “hookup” context, where you “agree” to be “no strings attached,” or whatever. I’m not really arguing for/against that here.

    But it was in that context that I heard myself say, “women don’t make emotional ‘contracts.'” I like that line. I think it’s true.

    She might say some words, but that doesn’t mean you can have faith in that kind of agreement. With women, we should have faith… in the moment. That is it.

    You can hold her words over here later, if you want, but there are no emotional agreements worth our faith, IMAO… not with women. I like women, very much, but I don’t make contracts with them. Period.

    So… I’ll add that to what you’re saying here. If a man should assume there is NO SUCH THING as an emotional contract with a women… why would you strap yourself down to a financial one?? I know why men do it (bluepill thinking… but mostly… lack of options).

    And I will add to in these notes about Pete here…

    Men are dealing with a very different set of “odds” in the SMP. Even more so in online game. If you try to play this game at the bluepill level, the odds are stacked against you… maybe 10-1, or 50-1. That makes a contract even less appealing to a woman. Why make the downside of the odds even worst with a contract?

    No way.

    There is a chance that cohabitation can work at some level… for living together… maybe to raise kids… for a while… but not much of one for monogamy or marriage. If you cohabitate, and do so WITHOUT A CONTRACT…. you can bump the odds toward yourself, instead of away, and maybe get some of the “benefits” of marriage-like arrangements.

    This only works if you have actual value as a man. But if you do, value of some kind, the lack of the contract IS THE THING than inspires her to keep her part of the agreement.

    At one level, this is about intimacy and tenderness. At another… it’s fucking savage. I’m not at all “dark triad,” but I will walk away. And if I am high value (to some girls), and willing to walk away, and they know it… my odds go up, significantly.

    Liked by 1 person

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