Good Looking Loser is dead; long live GLL. Why Reddit only works for newbies

Good Looking Loser reappeared, for the first time since 2016, with a 3,500-word post, “The Most Important Good Looking Loser Concepts to Get Your Sex Life Right.” It’s a rehash of the rest of the site, but that’s fine, because the site is more or less “complete.” It can be read like a book. There is garbage on that site (supplements, “bath mate,” anything involving the word “gorilla” or “Cernovich,” who is a clown attempting to lead a sad army), but if you ignore the garbage and focus on getting laid, you’ll do all right. If you really want to “max out,” your looks, that is.

It’s a site most targeted at underperforming guys in their teens and 20s. It’s less useful for the 40+ crowd, where guys should still work on their looks but are realistically not going to be as cut as 23-year-old guys.

Chris also never goes “all the way.” He says he’s getting married (I hope he has a hell of a prenup). He rarely, maybe never, goes beyond conventional 1:1 dating and into sex clubs. Maybe he’s not into that kind of thing. To me it’s a pre-selected venue for highly-sexed women.

GLL annoyingly pushes bogus supplements… Chris should just get a real, honest job, rather than trying to con guys with supplements, etc… so I am not endorsing everything.

(This blog will eventually die too, or decline into theoretical rants. I’m not as driven by sex as I was in my teens, twenties, or early thirties. I don’t have as much to say about it beyond what I’ve already said, and other guys, like Krauser and Tom Torero, have far better step-by-step material.)

I tried submitting “The Most Important Good Looking Loser Concepts to Get Your Sex Life Right” to the seduction page of Reddit, and I got the following message from “ThrowawayPUA”

GLL is banned from seddit for a variety of good reasons.
Don’t join them.

If you’ve wandered over here from Reddit, you now know why Reddit is filled with newbie material. There’s nothing wrong with newbie material (almost all of us have been there), but the intermediate/advanced material is all on blogs or in books. Think about a person who would willingly moderate Reddit… then think about how Reddit works via voting, regardless of the person voting… now you understand. Beginner guys and anger phase guys cannot comprehend the challenges and problems faced by intermediate or advanced guys. That is fine, that is the nature of being a beginner in almost any field, but it also cauterizes the intermediate/advanced discussion.

While I’m writing this, the top post on seduction is “A Rant from a girl: Why it isn’t working for you…” No link because it’s typical stupid girl stuff, a mix of things that are kind of true some of the time and things that are downright wrong… and it has 600 upvotes. Meanwhile, the last couple of deep, complex posts from Nash got like four upvotes. Posts from random, incorrect chicks and posts from guys who are like, “I learned how to just be myself and talk to chicks” jump to the top of Reddit because they cater to the 70% of guys on the bottom, many of whom don’t know what they’re talking about. And the moderators are almost universally awful… they encourage only newbies to speak.

If you’re spending time on Reddit, you’re among the sheep who lead the other sheep. There is some utility, but to learn something beyond “just be confident” “hit the gym,” you have to go somewhere else. Newbies often lack the capacity to understand what good advice is. Think back to school and the stupid, noisy person in class trying to one-up the teacher or professor. That person doesn’t know what they don’t know.

Bike Girl is finally over

I think Bike Girl is finally over. She wants to move in and I don’t want her to. Years ago I swore off cohabitating with a woman, and although I think I’ll break that “rule” eventually, it won’t be for Bike Girl. She’s just inside the lower bound of the age range I’d consider, but she reads younger in a lot of ways and is too immature for me.

I don’t think she’s ever met a guy with definite boundaries before. The more she invests in me, the more I pull away, and the more she invests. For the last couple months that’s been driving her crazy.  I think she thinks I’m playing some kind of game with her, and if she can just find the optimal strategy, she can win.

Except that’s totally wrong. I’m not playing a game, I’m living my life. And my life has a bunch of features that most people’s lives don’t have. I don’t want to “advance” the relationship towards cohabitation and, eventually I suspect, kids. It is very hard for someone who thinks in terms of games to interact with someone who doesn’t. There is a negotiation component to my work and there is not a negotiation component to Bike Girl’s work.

She’s already threatened to break up with me before, and I said, “Okay.” I don’t think she expected that.

I’m occasionally seeing someone from the non-monogamous scene, and if I can see her once or twice a week, that would be fantastic. Since late September or early October I’ve been seeing Bike Girl around every other day.

The likely outcome from here is that Bike Girl and I keep having occasional sex (most girls will indulge in relapse sex with an ex because it doesn’t “count”) until she finds her next guy. I don’t think she has an active branch swing planned, but with chicks you never know for sure. I’ve never looked through her phone or attempted to invade her privacy and in my view if she thinks she has a better offer, she should take it.

It’s an attitude not a lot of guys have. I didn’t have it in my early 20s. It took time to develop.

I think Bike Girl learned a lot from me. I taught her about photography (a couple of pics she took may end up on future dating profiles, if or when I use online dating again), cooking, and how to think about career. She is smart but unfocused and has reached an age where “smart but unfocused” just reads as “unfocused.” A kid can get away with having potential. An adult must convert potential into achievement.

One day, if I cohabitate again, it will be with separate bedrooms. Sleepovers will be a choice. Too little distance extinguishes the erotic spark. Women press for smothering togetherness then act surprised when that act extinguishes their libido. It makes them complacent. As guys, we have to learn how relationships work and how to lead.

I talk a big game in the paragraphs above, but I feel melancholy. I like Bike Girl. But I also don’t want to waste years of her prime childbearing life . I’m kind of glad she is making the right long-term choice for herself. I feel the temptation to fold and hang onto her, even as I know that’s the wrong choice for her and for me.  She is fun in bed and has a personality that works with mine, in this stage of our relationship.

I also wonder if she will keep pursuing open relationships and other women without me pushing for it. I don’t think so but give it a 33% chance.

I find myself wondering when I’ll start my last new relationship. Right now I have this powerful sense of déjà vu. Been there, done that, doing it again. It makes me feel old. Sometimes I feel very young. Not right now. Right now, I feel like I’ve done this too many times. I know the steps too well. I need a different dance. How can you tell the dancer from the dance?