Slept with a twenty-year-old last night:

I slept with a twenty-year-old last night, and the amount of “game” required was minimal. She was a friend/roommate of an intern (more or less) I’ve kept in touch with, and I met the friend about a year ago while out for drinks. She has a nose ring and is sort of artistic seeming; at the time we first met I mixed some light sex talk and innuendos into the conversation, but logistics were against me and more importantly I didn’t want to vigorously hit on a girl who is connected to work, however tangentially. The attraction was there, however, primarily through eye contact. If you haven’t yet discovered the virtues of very strong eye contact, you should. And if you know of any game guides to eye contact, please post them, because I don’t have any at my fingertips.

It’s hard to describe the game when the game is mostly sub-verbal, as this one is. I was affecting something like smooth-older-Don-Draper guy, which seemed appropriate to the situation and age gap. Last year we exchanged contact info and we’ve chatted just a bit here and there. Less is more in the long game, as you are a busy man, right? I thought about whether I should sexualize those conversations but decided not to. She is in town for the summer, and like a lot of young girls she’s very flighty. She also has a bunch of minor health problems. I wasn’t sure we’d actually meet up, but last night she came out, three drinks at two bars, then to a hotel for sex, which is I think a new experience for her. No LMR, however, and she felt fantastic.

It also seems that no younger women enforce condom usage rules anymore. Bike Girl had a good body but this girl was spectacular naked, much more so than I expected. I have a great pic of her looking over her shoulder at me; she’s obviously topless in the pic but it is more artistic than the pornographic style that usually appeals to me. When I first got into photography I just wanted typical guy stuff, with her naked and showing it all, but I’ve learned that one or two good, girl-friendly pics can make the girl much more into you. If she’s not spreading herself, it’s art, right? Seems to be the girl thinking.

In this 12 April post I was mopey about women and game, but when a solid seven, maybe low eight, much younger woman comes along, it is easy to get excited again. This one also has a relatively straightforward expiration date, assuming it goes further. I’m not sure it will, as she’s a girl who only has “guy friends” (red flag) and who is very sexual. She seems to have an unusually lengthy relationship history for a girl of her age. This weekend one of those “guy friends” is in town to celebrate something to do with school. I wasn’t quite invited along and wasn’t quite not invited along, which is fine because I don’t think it’s a good game move to get enmeshed with a dozen flighty college students. Optics are all wrong and I’d rather imply I have Friday / Saturday plans already.

Interestingly, last night she said that guys her age don’t really hit on her (I don’t believe it, but she said it). She is also a pretend model of some sort. Her n-count is pretty high for her age, I think. She started to ask me how many women I’ve been with, then stopped and said she didn’t want the question turned back on her. I said that I never ask, which is true, and things moved on.

She slept with her brother’s dirtbag 20-year-old friend when she was 15. I’m by far the oldest guy she’s slept with, and her guess as to my age was way off. I knocked a few years off my actual age. Unfortunately I was not the best, sexually speaking, as some combination of alcohol and first-time nerves inhibited performance, but I did some cunnilingus things she seems to have enjoyed and not to have experienced. I think I was “good enough,” but not as good as I really need to be.

In other game news, a friend from the sex club circuit hooked me up with her early 30s friend who recently got out of a long-term relationship and was looking for fun over the course of a long-weekend. Saw the picture in advance and we had some pretty easy fun. I attempted a threesome with her and Bike Girl, who has relapsed a bit, but it turns out this woman is not as experimental as she implied or I would hope. She says she doesn’t like sex clubs or BDSM but that she likes listening to her friend’s stories.

I’m not actively seeking new leads, but a lot of older efforts keep paying dividends. Just being flirtatious and temperately aggressive when I see an opening has gone well. I’ve internalized a lot of the behaviors to the point that they’ve become, if not an automatic reflex, then at least heavily ingrained.

I also went to a friend’s wedding recently and attempted to play the two attractive, single women off each other in order to sleep with at least one but utterly failed. It’s been a while since I’ve done any online dating and thinking about my life in the last year or two I see much of the problem with online dating: people with a lot going on who can calibrate socially often find enough opportunities offline that they don’t need to go online.

The chick from this story says she does a lot of online dating and that makes sense to me because she’s hot but also kinda fucked up and dead behind the eyes. I’m not totally knocking online dating and unless I die within the year I will likely do it again at some point. I have though been thinking about the selection bias effects that affect the pool there.

Author: The Red Quest

How can we live and be in society?

18 thoughts on “Slept with a twenty-year-old last night:”

  1. Red… really excellent post. There is a lot here. I could talk with you for 2 hours+ just on the elements of this post alone.

    >> when a solid seven, maybe low eight, much younger woman comes along, it is easy to get excited again

    Very happy for you. We are fairly basic animals at some level… and I’m glad the “basic animal” in you got a shot of “being alive” with this one. That is a big part of why I like this lifestyle… hyperreal moments.

    I can feel all the “realness” of her (red flags, etc), and yet… it’s a good story and sounds like it was a good time.

    >> then to a hotel for sex, which is I think a new experience for her.

    Curious as to why a hotel was involved? I have had hotel sex three times this month, but all for special circumstances.

    >> This one also has a relatively straightforward expiration date, assuming it goes further. I’m not sure it will

    I really know this feeling… I never have any idea. Happy to play it out either way.

    >> people with a lot going on who can calibrate socially often find enough opportunities offline that they don’t need to go online.

    I think you’re well beyond “average” in terms of your social skills… for most men, I don’t think that concept applies.

    I have a very full social life, always did, friends/parties/events, some cool stuff… and my “social circle sex” was minimal and never with girls I was that into. Daygame was game changing for me… in part as the process of actively hunting made me focus… and my sex life exploded from there.

    >> I don’t think it’s a good game move to get enmeshed with a dozen flighty college students
    >> something like smooth-older-Don-Draper guy, which seemed appropriate to the situation and age gap

    Good call on not getting involved w/ the “kid party.” : ] If I were invited, I’d decline.

    I increasingly think our age is clearly an asset. I never talk about my age, and most girls never ask (maybe 25% ask?). But I think your “older/smoother” is the way to play this. I dress/look like an artist, skater type… but in terms of the quality of the experience… I give the girls older/smoother everytime.

    >> Her n-count is pretty high for her age

    I think we’d all be shocked on how many guys the “average girl” has fucked. With a heavy majority of those guys being guys like us. I’d like to talk with you about this offline.

    >> I’m not totally knocking online dating and unless I die within the year I will likely do it again at some point. I have though been thinking about the selection bias effects that affect the pool there.

    Wise approach. And I think you’re dead-on about the selection bias. As online is increasingly default and mainstream, “normal” girls will be online… but that space is high-volume, low quality for the SMP in general. And the more volume the online folks get, the lower the quality of the experience for them… particularly for the girls.

    …………..

    I really like your blog, man. Definitely at the top of the list of what I like to read in the space.

    Congrats on a good experience. Viva Red.

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    1. Now your comments are practically another post in themselves…

      I’m guessing this girl is experienced for her age, but not that experienced compared to me. She (almost) can’t be, unless she’s really gone wild. It’s also hard to say how mange girls the average guy has fucked. Most of the time I am rejected, like most guys. So the girls we get to meet and date are by definition exceptional. We have a sample bias issue, as well as a perceptual salience issue. One or a few girls with high counts stand out far more than a larger number with low counts, who don’t go for me at all.

      Sorry to hear about the social circle thing for you. I meet a fair number of new people through various warm or semi-warm intros, so that helps.

      Online, offline… online may be harder, but it is still possible to work the system. Looking good matters even more there than in other places.

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  2. >> It also seems that no younger women enforce condom usage rules anymore.

    So you fucked her without one? Girls… and their relationship to “safe sex” is a point of interest for me. I have had many girls try to stuff me inside them raw… but only when I’m moving slow enough that they have the chance. Almost all “recurring girls” try that move with me.

    In Japan, this 22 yr old girl did the old “do you have a condom?,” which was actually the first time I’d heard that from a girl. Of course I did have a condom… within arms reach.

    And this week, a new girl said, “do you have some…” And I didn’t know what she was talking about, as I had been fucking her for 10 minutes. And I was wondering if she would ask for lube… I had no idea?? And she reach down and grabbed my cock and said, “a condom?” Which I was already wearing. And she was surprised. I asked her the next day and she said she didn’t notice I’d put it on… I wasn’t subtle, but she had just had her pussy eaten so I think she was a little bit overwhelmed.

    For me… always, always, every time… yes to condoms. I love having control over that part of the safe/pregnant equation. I will never rely on the pill again.

    https://www.okamotoglobal.com/products/003-platinum

    And part of that is that I use Okamoto 003s. .. game-changingly good condoms. I link to them on almost every lay report. They are… such a good experience for me. Some dudes have complained they are too “tight.” I don’t claim to be a particularly big guy, so they’re fine with me… and very sensitive.

    And if you ever get a chance to try an 001… Jesus. They’re expensive, 3 for $10. But a good deal.

    I buy 003s online… but 004s are available in the US now too.

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    1. I know I shouldn’t. But I do. It’s probably as much as psychological as physical, but I find it so much better and more intimate. Usually I’m not a big risk-taker. Maybe all that risk finds its way here. And in motorcycles.

      Among condoms, I prefer Skyn right now.

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  3. >> And if you know of any game guides to eye contact, please post them, because I don’t have any at my fingertips.

    I would point to this guy Nick Sparks (the PUA, there is more than one Nick Sparks). He was closely affiliated with The 21 Convention for a long time. His talk in 2014 (if you can find it) demo’s the physicality of “making it hot” (or something like that)… but if you want to see “drippy-on” eye contact… he is an interesting reference. His old “infield” stuff has more examples. He is shockingly intimate with eye contact.

    For average guys:
    — Start looking everyone in the eyes… everyone
    — Practice with babies… they have insanely strong eye contact because they have no shame (big clue there)
    — Definitely pour it on with girls… if you can’t handle it, that’s proof you need work there
    — Once you’re getting a bit “good,” start watching for other guys that are very good… watch them carefully
    — They will model “next level” eye contact

    And if you’re really, really into this… the hippies do “eye gazing” work. Sounds cheesy, and sometimes it is. But I did two classes with this guy John Wineland, and “eye work” was a part of it (a relatively small, but consistent part)… and when I was done… I was so much better. Noticeably better.

    Holding eye contact… and then “changing the quality of that eye contact” (from sensual to violent, for instance), is its own discipline… and a very worthy study if your want deep social mastery.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is what YaReally has to say about eye contatc:

    > Laser eye-contact, speed of speech, bedroom tonality, slow movements, etc add in cutting the space like that Gambler vid I linked and you have a recipe for massive sexual tension, without having to verbalize it.
    >
    > 32:10 (really it’s from like 25:00 – 40:00):
    >
    > https://youtu.be/-unuqF4uklE
    >
    > And again an in-depth breakdown by Liam (demos start at 13:42 in):
    >
    > https://youtu.be/V3Z4Nq0OrrM
    >
    > Focusing on these subcomms is a consistent thing you can consciously do, it’s not woowoo. These guys are breaking it down step by step. Currie needs to watch these vids and then go out for a few months and try minimal verbal game and focus on subcomms until he can do it, THEN go back to his verbal game with a better understanding of how attraction works.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s pretty variable. Look at the comments in posts on Nash: http://www.daysofgame.com and Riv: http://rivsdiary.wordpress.com for guidance on text game. Look especially for a writer named Yohami.

      I prefer focusing on the question, “Are we arranging to meet up?” If the answer is no, I don’t contact or contact at a minimum. For example, with this girl, I knew we couldn’t meet on Saturday or Sunday, so I said nothing. On Monday, I re-initiated contact due to logistics. When I learned mid-day Monday about more delay, I stopped texting and said nothing from about noon onward.

      With any communication, the question should be, “Is this advancing me towards sex?” If the answer is “No,” then don’t do it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for this. I’ll check those posts out.

        Yohami, know him well and he has helped me out. Total legend.

        My long game interest has just moved overseas (back home). However tells me she wants to come back to my city as she has “just realized” she likes it here better. So its like long LONG game. May never happen but there’s a chance I’ll pass through her city for other reasons. Or she may eventually come back here.

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