“Recurring Revenue, Sex, and Notes on Four Girls” is the most recent Nash post; in my own life, I don’t even think of it as “recurring revenue:” instead, I think of it as “what I tend to do.” If I like the girl the first time, I usually want to keep her around. It also seems that I’m somewhat less driven by pure novelty than some guys in the game, or by the desire to overcome the chick’s obstacles, like solving a puzzle:
But my point here is that I like the hunt, I like the conquest, I’m interested in my n-count… but I also like the sex itself. Not just “novel” sex, but the overall volume and opportunity for sex in my life beyond the conquest.
I’m not all that into the hunt… I’m more into the eating, to extend the metaphor some: I’m happy to skip the hunt and go straight to the meal. That may also be why my cold approach skills are not very good, since I do enough to find an acceptable chick or chicks, then stop I’m probably just getting “yes girls.” The guys who are really good love the hunt for its own sake, like an artist loves his art for its own sake.
“Skipping the hunt,” of course, is not possible most of the time. There is almost always a hunt of some kind.
I’m not talking about commitment (not at all). I’m not even suggesting making these girls “girlfriends” (I haven’t had a girlfriend in years).
I’m willing to do this, actually, but on my own weird terms, which some chicks will reject. Or accept them in theory, but not in practice.
For me, one common pattern has been: I’m with the chick -> she demands a relationship and/or moving in -> I refuse -> she ends it, or I say we have incompatible goals -> she looks for someone else, often while still sleeping with me -> she finds someone -> dates him for a while -> breakup -> back to me for a while.
(Based on her recent silence, I think Bike Girl has found someone else.)
I also have a couple of long-term partners or lovers from the non-monogamy world, who I see more frequently or less frequently depending on their situation and my situation. One of them I like a lot for sex, but I’m thinking about ending it with her because she’s too unstable in some ways. She hates her job yet can’t seem to get out of it. She’s on a bunch of prescription drugs, including one that’s supposed to be a short-term drug, but she’s been on it for years (I don’t know what the fuck is the matter with her doctor).
But, on the other hand, she’s bisexual and a very reliable threesome partner. If she says she’s going to be somewhere, she goes there. We’ve had numerous threesomes and foursomes together because she’s so sexually uninhibited.
She raised the stakes by saying we should take a boat ride across the bay. This request seriously complicates the date (women = chaos). The boat ride was a bit of a pain in the ass, but she has asked me to do this before, and I thought I’d get it done this time.
This chick, the one I’m thinking about cutting off, is not chaotic, and that is very attractive to me because most women are. Most live in the land of “maybe.” But the drugs and her general life problems are not attractive. For such a pretty girl, her social skills are oddly poor.