What do we spend our excess money on? Sex.

 

The Western world is richer than it’s ever been, so what do we spend all that excess on? Sex, or near-sex and sexually-related equivalents: fancy clothes, expensive cars, pretty much anything that can be counted as a “status” symbol. Until a country or society reaches some baseline threshold of wealth, its residents and especially its women are too tethered to survival to focus on fucking around a lot: which is one reason why game works differently in different countries.

(Obviously, there has always been some level of fucking around, but nothing like what’s been happening in the contemporary developed world in the last couple of decades.)

I bring this up because I write primarily about experiences in the United States. Wealthier countries are more likely to have a lot of excess money that can go into personal development and sex. In poorer countries, the margin of error is too small to develop a diverse, sex-positive culture. I was chatting on Twitter with a guy from Turkey. He says Turkey is bad for game because its culture is more sexually conservative, even in Istanbul. I have no idea whether he’s right or not, but I do know that game has to be more effective, all else being equal, in richer societies. The United States is so wealthy that lots of women are happy bearing children out of wedlock or committed relationships.

Turkey also has the disadvantage of being predominantly Muslim. I don’t like most religions, for the usual reasons, but Islam as it’s currently practiced is particularly bad.

Game works best in large, Western cities. In the United States, I’d guess the best cities for game are New York, LA, and Chicago, probably in that order. If a guy can’t move to a major city, he might simply not be able to do game. I don’t have a firm number, but I guess the population minimum for effective game is probably around 500,000. Lower than that, and the “small town” reputation protection system comes into play, and the few hot chicks around will be wary of risking their reputations on sexual fun and hedonism. Messing around still happens, just more covertly and over longer periods of time. Plus, in smaller towns or cities, a guy will literally run out of chicks to game. The exception may be transient tourist areas, like Tahoe in California, or other ski resorts, or beach towns.

Another wrote to me and said that he’s in a smaller town but interested in game. I think he has to move. Game is hard even in big, anonymous cities. In small towns, it must be much, much worse.

In modern, wealthy atmospheres, expression matters more than survival. Including romantic expression. So women don’t want to commit because they don’t need a man’s protection and they don’t even need much in the way of his resources. To the extent she does, the state will remove the man’s resources and give them to her anyway.

In this milieu marriage doesn’t make sense. Sexual expression does. Guys who specialize in being providers have less fun than guys who specialize in being party animals.

If something awful happens, like nuclear war with North Korea, this may change, fast. People will form deeper, tighter communities just to survive. Both men and women, but especially women, will worry less about about how much good sex they can have and more about whether they’re going to eat. When you’re worried about making sure you and your children don’t starve, it’s not very tempting to have an affair or bang the hunky guy down the street.

When you’re rich, you want self-expression. Like you can achieve through sex and going to the gym. If I were worried about keeping the roof over my head, I wouldn’t be writing a player blog and going on and on about not eating sugar. I wouldn’t be using a pretty new MacBook. I might not have access to reliable condoms. Chicks might not have access to reliable birth control. In a resource-starved environment, the costs to a chick of engaging with a strange man might be enormous. In a resource-rich environment, they’re very low. Stranger sex is costly there.

Many guys with a “nice guy” frame and worldview think that they’re still living in 1900. They’re not. Women respond to conditions and so do men. In a condition of wealth, expecting women to behave as they do in a condition of scarcity is madness. That’s also why a guy living in a conservative, developing country may not find American game writers very useful. We’re writing about a particular set of social and economic conditions.

Men today have none of the tools they used to have to enforce female monogamy. Without those tools, most people are weak. So we might as well embrace pleasure and expect de facto polygamy (whatever we call it). Our social and cultural systems are set up to express sexual expression. The bigger the city, the more true that is. There’s a reason why “Porn Valley” (aka the San Fernando Valley) developed in the Southern California metroplex. Los Angeles County alone has ten million people in it, and the movie industry is centered there. Ten million anonymous souls, hunting for lust and sun. Developing the porn industry in a far smaller city would have too many reputation repercussions for the performers.

Game is not impossible in smaller cities. A guy reading this and living in a smaller city should still try to do what he can, particularly if the city has a transient population due to tourism, college, etc. But that guy also can’t expect to get the outcomes big city guys get.

Game may not be impossible in Turkey, either. But if the Turkish guy moves to a Western country, he will not get a free pass. Game is hard for most men everywhere. If it weren’t, guys wouldn’t write pickup and seduction blogs. One of game’s harsh lessons is that there is no easy way. I have a lot of advantages most guys don’t, and it’s hard for me.

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“Which People Would Agree to Have Sex With a Stranger?”

Which People Would Agree to Have Sex With a Stranger?” is highly relevant to men in the game and looks at tests done by aspy psychologists who set out to discover and document the obvious: almost all men say they’ll have sex with an attractive female stranger and no women say they’ll have sex with an attractive male stranger. That’s being asked in daylight, possibly in front of other people, but as players know most chicks take some to evaluate a strange guy. Same day lays from cold opens are possible, they just aren’t easy or common. Guys who filter for same day lays are leaving the vast majority of chicks on the sidelines.

There are also gaps between total strangers and strangers who have some social context. You may notice that colleges and workplaces appear to have more stranger or semi-stranger hookups. That’s because familiarity and some shared things in common allow women to feel like the guys they’re hooking up with aren’t total strangers, and who might have some reputation consequences to bad behavior.

Same thing happens in sex clubs. When a couple first arrives, everyone is a stranger. But most clubs have some regulars and some floaters or orbiters. Floaters and orbiters will also be found on some websites and apps. So even there, the apparent fantasy of “total stranger sex” is rarely indulged. Good clubs disallow single men, so at the very least any given man will have one woman who vouches for him. There are not unpaid venues where it’s common to have stranger sex.

Sex with strangers is fun and it’s possible and I’ve done and most women will not do it at any given moment. The women who do do it are more fearless and more open to novelty and new experiences than the women who won’t. Women have little to lose by making a man wait a couple of days, and women can assess a man much more accurately over that time. That’s why players have figured out that 4 – 10 hours is typically the magic number to go from stranger to sex. Typically shorter in big anonymous sexually active cities and longer outside that context. It can be done faster, particularly in environments that already conduct some filtering, like sex clubs or colleges. Most guys who shoot for very fast sex with strangers will estrange most women. Life does not work like visual porn (male fantasy) or romance novels (female fantasy). The more a person attempts to make life work this way, the harder it will typically be for him or her. There are probably exceptions, like high-level male musicians or ridiculously attractive men, or ridiculously attractive and self-aware women.

It’s very popular to talk about the exceptions, obviously. But for most guys attempting to game most chicks, it’s useful to know about how familiarity is useful. That’s one reason why, despite my disdain for social media, I still have a somewhat well-developed account on one or two platforms. Girls have reported that that makes me feel more “real” to them. By that, I believe they mean I have real friends, a reputation among those friends, etc., and that makes me feel safe to them.

For chicks, there is always tension between safety and danger/mystery. Too much safety and a guy is overly beta, weak, boring, and predictable. Too much danger and mystery and the guy is overly risky and might ignore a woman’s consent or otherwise injure her without repercussion. Game attempts to teach men to navigate these two risks.

This is also why it can be simple to run game via social networks, for guys who can manage that. The easy first question at a party is, “How do you know the host?” But as a guy gets older, this works less and less well (my social networks don’t have a lot of 18 – 25 hotties in them anymore). Social networks have other problems, like her fear of repercussion (she hooks up with a random guy and now everyone knows it, which is diminished online, where she can be more experimental).

As is so often true, there is no final answer, only possibilities. Cold approach can and does work. But true stranger sex is probably pretty rare.

Teachers

Wall Street Playboys:

If your teacher was actually smart he wouldn’t have become a teacher in the first place.

Remember that if you take any career advice from them.

On average, that’s likely true. But I replied:

Not necessarily… I know guys who became teachers because it’s a dead easy job that leaves copious amounts of free time for other hobbies, like game. Plus, there’s a natural funnel for chicks, who are available one year post-grad.

I don’t know anyone in real life who has gone truly hard-core in game like the guys you can read in the sidebar. But at least one guy I know from college essentially used high school teaching as a funnel for chicks. In his 20s he was pretty good looking and pretty musical (played guitar and taught it sometimes at his high school, apart from his main subject). He wouldn’t quite 100% admit to what he was up to, but he would admit that teaching is dead easy. He had a band for a while and no surprise there he used it to get laid. Back in MySpace days his opener to MySpace chicks was an invite to his shows.

His band sucked, but he did the trick.

We lost touch over time, and he eventually got married, fat, and into video games. He wasn’t a brilliant guy but he wasn’t dumb either. Occupation is about cost-benefit. He was also smart enough to know not to hit up chicks until a year after they graduate.

Career advice is tricky. I don’t remember getting much career advice at all in high school and I don’t know if high school teachers today dispense it. But not all high school teachers are dumb or not smart. With teaching, a guy gets security and a low to medium income and time. But he also gets a very low cap on his salary, low social status through career, and bureaucratic bullshit.

Some smart, family-oriented chicks choose teaching because it allows them to take time off when their kids are small.

Ms. Slav is back

Ms. Slav is back. She finds her home country and city too small, provincial, and most of all conservative, so she’s happy to be in the United States again. She’s staying in the same swank hotel as her parents, but in a different room. We met in her hotel room, and without saying much I stripped her black dress and found her new lingerie underneath; she said she’d been shopping for it a couple hours prior. So I left the thong on.

After, we took a nap and started chatting. I told her I had a surprise for her, and I pulled out a package with a vibrator in it. She was pleased, and also surprised, and said, “Guys give me flowers and candies all the time. I would much rather have this.” That perked my ears. How many guys? “A lot. A hundred?” I want to think she’s exaggerating. Conceivably she isn’t. She said that for most girls, flowers are the best thing they think they can get. She’s fond of drawing distinctions between herself and “most girls,” which is almost a red flag for me, but not quite.

She also said that she’s never been very submissive before. With women she’s dominant, and with men she’s never really been made to submit. But she said that when I move her where I want her to be and hold her down by the throat, it turns her on. Like spanking during foreplay. Like most chicks, she can take more than I think she can. She may also like the way I use raw strength. I remember a session with a lover from a couple years ago, and she was playfully resisting by moving to the top of the bed. I grabbed her ankles, dragged her entire body down, and forced her legs open. She said, “I forgot how strong you are” (I’m not that strong… just stronger than guys who don’t follow a weight lifting program). Her comment was a major turn-on, largely because I don’t think it was planned.

There was something about sex with that girl that was unreal. Unfortunately, I lost her because she knew I was dating someone else and didn’t really like that, but I wasn’t willing to commit to her. The situation persisted until she went to a party while I was out of town and… yeah. Still have a bunch of great sex videos I made with her.

With Ms. Slav,  I meant to tie her up and really paddle her, but I was too focused on the sex to do the more elaborate pieces. Also meant to bring my favorite massage oil and forgot it as well. Did remember the camera. She still likes the photos and being shot nude.

She washed the vibe and I plugged it in. She used it the second time we had sex, and she kept coming, over and over again, incredibly hard. So hard it was hard for me to hold off, and eventually I couldn’t. She said she’d never had sex while using a vibrator.

All in all I’d call it a very successful session. I know guys in The Red Pill are against giving chicks gifts. I agree with that stance… BEFORE sex. After sex, some small gifts are okay, particularly if they’re sexually related and treated like they’re no big deal. See my old post, “The holidays are coming up: shit tests, comfort tests, and gifts [intermediate and above].” It is bad to give a chick anything as an implied exchange for sex, but okay in my view to do so afterwords, particularly if the chick is younger and inexperienced.

I like experimenting. Many chicks have told me that, when they’ve tried to bring toys into the bedroom in the past, their guys have been threatened. Not me. I see man as the tool-using animal.

Ms. Slav also says she’s going to get an IUD. I hope so. That may be the barrier preventing me from being fully into her. She’s been on hormonal birth control in the past, but that disagreed with her. She said that she was tempted to get it in her home country but didn’t trust the medical system there.

The 20-year-old is also back, but I can’t be arsed. She seems too likely to be a problem and too flakey for me. I’ve had some other adventures as well I mean to write more about.

“Sex, Steroids, And Arnold: The Story Of The Gym That Shaped America”

Sex, Steroids, And Arnold: The Story Of The Gym That Shaped America” is a great story. For the vast majority of guys, pumping heavy iron needs to be part of their life. Without it, most guys will not succeed in their dating lives and will not realize the link between their physical and psychological potential.

Among other things that’s not widely understood about bodybuilders, I think, is how good they feel. Working out they have these endorphins cascading their bodies. They’re eating enough meat for a male lion every day, and lying in the sun and screwing whoever they want to screw.

Doesn’t mean you have to be a bodybuilder to get laid. You don’t. But think about that when you’re deciding between video games and the squat.

In bodybuilding we had never seen anybody combine personality with physique. That’s Arnold.

For most guys, the gym is not enough. You don’t want to get stuck in the plight of the lonesome bodybuilder. Guys who are ripped and ripped without any game or personality will probably do worse than guys who aren’t ripped but who go out and hit on chicks.

“Daygame Lay Report: Closing The Loop”

I like “Daygame Lay Report: Closing The Loop” because similar things have happened to me. A girl’s first stop when she’s single is often whoever she has on tap. In this case, Tom may have also benefited from not being part of her social orbit, as she knows that an assignation with him is unlikely to get back to her friends and family.

This is also why it’s rarely a good idea to overtly burn chicks. Dead leads will come spontaneously back to life when the chick’s situation changes.

By now, I have had 10 – 15 year old open loops come back around to me. Unfortunately, the longer the time elapsed, the more likely the chick has gotten fat.

“My dad was not my biological father.”

Letters: ‘My Dad Was Not My Biological Father:’ Readers share their experiences receiving surprising results from a genetics test is your occasional reminder to DNA test any children you think you’ve fathered. The DNA testing revolution is likely to yield some uncomfortable truths.

Are you a person who will be cheated with or cheated on?