“Which People Would Agree to Have Sex With a Stranger?” is highly relevant to men in the game and looks at tests done by aspy psychologists who set out to discover and document the obvious: almost all men say they’ll have sex with an attractive female stranger and no women say they’ll have sex with an attractive male stranger. That’s being asked in daylight, possibly in front of other people, but as players know most chicks take some to evaluate a strange guy. Same day lays from cold opens are possible, they just aren’t easy or common. Guys who filter for same day lays are leaving the vast majority of chicks on the sidelines.
There are also gaps between total strangers and strangers who have some social context. You may notice that colleges and workplaces appear to have more stranger or semi-stranger hookups. That’s because familiarity and some shared things in common allow women to feel like the guys they’re hooking up with aren’t total strangers, and who might have some reputation consequences to bad behavior.
Same thing happens in sex clubs. When a couple first arrives, everyone is a stranger. But most clubs have some regulars and some floaters or orbiters. Floaters and orbiters will also be found on some websites and apps. So even there, the apparent fantasy of “total stranger sex” is rarely indulged. Good clubs disallow single men, so at the very least any given man will have one woman who vouches for him. There are not unpaid venues where it’s common to have stranger sex.
Sex with strangers is fun and it’s possible and I’ve done and most women will not do it at any given moment. The women who do do it are more fearless and more open to novelty and new experiences than the women who won’t. Women have little to lose by making a man wait a couple of days, and women can assess a man much more accurately over that time. That’s why players have figured out that 4 – 10 hours is typically the magic number to go from stranger to sex. Typically shorter in big anonymous sexually active cities and longer outside that context. It can be done faster, particularly in environments that already conduct some filtering, like sex clubs or colleges. Most guys who shoot for very fast sex with strangers will estrange most women. Life does not work like visual porn (male fantasy) or romance novels (female fantasy). The more a person attempts to make life work this way, the harder it will typically be for him or her. There are probably exceptions, like high-level male musicians or ridiculously attractive men, or ridiculously attractive and self-aware women.
It’s very popular to talk about the exceptions, obviously. But for most guys attempting to game most chicks, it’s useful to know about how familiarity is useful. That’s one reason why, despite my disdain for social media, I still have a somewhat well-developed account on one or two platforms. Girls have reported that that makes me feel more “real” to them. By that, I believe they mean I have real friends, a reputation among those friends, etc., and that makes me feel safe to them.
For chicks, there is always tension between safety and danger/mystery. Too much safety and a guy is overly beta, weak, boring, and predictable. Too much danger and mystery and the guy is overly risky and might ignore a woman’s consent or otherwise injure her without repercussion. Game attempts to teach men to navigate these two risks.
This is also why it can be simple to run game via social networks, for guys who can manage that. The easy first question at a party is, “How do you know the host?” But as a guy gets older, this works less and less well (my social networks don’t have a lot of 18 – 25 hotties in them anymore). Social networks have other problems, like her fear of repercussion (she hooks up with a random guy and now everyone knows it, which is diminished online, where she can be more experimental).
As is so often true, there is no final answer, only possibilities. Cold approach can and does work. But true stranger sex is probably pretty rare.