There is no easy way: there is only the hard way

Being a player is hard. Most guys must churn constantly for new leads. Old leads drop off. Chicks are of couse flakey, because they’re testing for a guy’s quality. Neither online nor offline dating is fast for most guys. The economic conditions that make game plausible have only existed in the West for a couple decades.

Being in a monogamous relationship is hard. Sexual boredom will likely arrive, no matter how hot the sex is at the beginning. Romantic attachment will replace passionate attachment. Most chicks expect financial subsidies in a monogamous relationship and will seek guys who provide those subsidies. Most chicks want kids if they don’t have them already. Worse still, some chicks will already have kids and be looking for a new guy.

Being in a non-monogamous, hedonistic relationship is hard. One needs all of the skills of the general player, and one needs the personal temperament to want to do non-monogamy. The player needs to re-wire the chick’s internal psychology to make non-monogamy a part of the chick’s identity and toolkit. Not all chicks will go for it.

Gathering enough information to make rational decisions about the world is hard. One needs a lot of practice in the real world as well as a lot of reading and networking with other players to understand the world. Dominant information sources are not helpful for most aspiring players. Many are inaccurate or written from a woman’s perspective. Even sources of information that are better-than-average, are often not the best.

One of the more gratifying parts about writing here is the traffic from search engines. Some guys find this material from what is probably random searching.

Discipline is hard. That’s true in terms of diet, mind, information diet, and body. It’s true in terms of work. Discipline is one reason I was reluctant to write online for a very long time.

While the above paragraphs are true about the individual guy, every guy is simultaneously doing his thing to try and get laid.

The military guy is being a tough badass to make chicks think he’ll protect them and that he’s competent.

The music guy is literally seducing chicks with the sound of his music.

The athlete guy is expressing his physical fitness and his ability to dominate other men.

The business guy is demonstrating the quality of his mind and his ability to outcompete other men in the industry. He’s demonstrating his capacity to support a woman and provide a good home for her and her children.

The laid-back surfer and weed guy is demonstrating how chill he is and how she can relax and focus on pleasure with him.

There are many others. All of these guys not only have whatever traits they possess, but they also have the confidence and backbone that comes from being good at something (almost anything, really). Guys who realize they’re better than 96% of the population at a given domain get more confident than guys who don’t have a real skill. Notice that “video  games” “eating fast food” “social networks,” and “TV watching” are not among the disciplined fields where mastery matters and attracts women.

A guy can only embrace his version of the hard way. I have it easier than many guys but also harder than a lot of guys. My way has been hard and remains hard to this day. The hard path is an essential component to life. When I was younger I thought I could find “the easy way” with women, but I have found there is no final, easy way. There are ways that are more or less relevant to a given guy, but none is easy. To succeed, a guy should embrace the pain. The pain of learning. The pain of working longer and harder than other guys. The pain of creating when others merely consume. The pain of being John Galt.

To me, the non-monogamous way is easier, better, and more plausible than some other alternatives, but “easier” is still hard, and it still has to suit a guy’s personality. This way suits my personality; it may not suit yours. And remember, you only see the tip of the spear.

I get the sense that many guys are like I was, thinking that there is some easier way. But there is not. There is only the hard way. There will always be a relative shortage of hot chicks in the hottest age range. Guys from the onset of puberty to the onset of senescence will always be competing for them. Game and evolutionary biology will clarify female psychology, but it’s still necessary to execute effectively. Most guys cannot or will not. Player blogs are typically written by the rare guys who will go the distance.