I’ve been in a sex whirlwind… not of my own making, for once. Not entirely of my own making, that is. I’ve given Ms. Slav her own tag, so you can see the series of posts, but she is more into group sex and non-monogamy than just about anyone else I’ve met: she’s totally sexually uninhibited and, while most people who say they don’t experience jealousy are lying, I think she’s telling the truth. Mostly. I’m not sure she’s been exposed to the type of person or relationship that will elicit her jealousy response… yet. I might be that person.
I should recount what we’ve been up to, but there has been too much to hit everything. The foursomes have probably been most interesting: she is so young and pretty that she attracts pretty much anyone, online and off, such that I feel like I’m being fed this steady stream of great food… more than I really want to eat, but as the possibility of it presents itself and I get a whiff, I keep sampling.
It’s clear to me why normal women hate women like Libido Girl or Ms. Slav: those women are highly disruptive to the social order. They reduce female bargaining power, and not a little bit—they reduce it substantially. Because of hate, the Libido Girls and Ms. Slavs of the world hide who they are. Ms. Slav is too young to have taken on a sex-positive identity, but I believe she is taking one on now, and that identity can help immunize her from female haters. As she surrounds herself with sex-positive sluts, her identity will shift and the hate will mean less to her. This is what normal women hate and fear… another woman who will f**k their boyfriends and not be susceptible to slut-shaming. Ms. Slav feels like she’s changing and growing week by week, from her interactions with me.
Ms. Slav is unusual because she is if anything not discerning enough for my taste. Most chicks don’t like most other guys and/or are not really bi. Ms. Slav loves sex, loves it with an array of people, and will have sex with seemingly almost anyone she fancies, and she fancies easily, which together make her a potent weapon but also one with drawbacks. I’ve had a bunch of sex since taking her to the parties, some with an “8,” and it is amazing to watch her become one with the scene. But it is also odd to see someone so uninhibited, to the point where she is less specific than I would like. Usually the opposite happens… I encourage a chick to hook up with other chicks, do her part with other couples I like, etc., but Ms. Slav is not like that.
I have very little, if any, control over her. Most normal chicks need to be encouraged, feel jealousy when I nail another chick, want to make sure that we’re a team. Ms. Slav doesn’t appear to be like that. It’s unusual for me to not have to push the chick forward, and instead to see her go zooming ahead of me. She is not like any other girl I’ve started in the non-monogamy scene. It’s pretty common for a new girl to bond with one or two other people and to have a small group of regulars. It’s uncommon to have someone who just loves to f**k and has been seeking this kind of permission and opportunity since puberty. She has probably been seeking permission to go wild her entire life and now has it. I wouldn’t be surprised to see her become some kind of sex educator or sex missionary more generally.
Going to sex parties with Ms. Slav is like playing a video game with God Mode turned on. She’s so young and hot that the possibilities are only really limited by the other girl’s interests and proclivities.
Ms. Slav reminds me a little of down-to-f**k (DTF) girls I’ve met online and offline. They like sex and are uninhibited about it and if you match some baseline threshold, she’s a “yes-girl.” Most girls are not like this, but when a guy finds one he merely has to smoothly escalate. That is another reason normal girls hate the Ms. Slavs of the world: the Ms. Slavs undercut the willingness of guys to invest lots of time and attention in more normal girls. Most normal girls won’t have sex within an hour of meeting, but the ones who will, hurt the market positions of the ones who don’t.
When I’m dating, I usually probe for interest in drugs and drinking, interest in sharing or hearing sex stories, and reaction to light physical touch. There are no doubt more sophisticated algorithms, but the simple one seems to have worked for me.
Two days ago, we met a couple off an app; the woman is very pretty, more attractive than the guy, and very quiet. At my favorite bar (the staff have asked me about my ways… they have seen a lot) Ms. Slav, myself, and the other guy did most of the talking. Then back to my place, blindfold over the other woman, and less foreplay than I would have thought. Ms. Slav stripped her quickly and began going down on her. I have learned to prolong the foreplay, longer than I think it needs to go on for, and been richly rewarded by that practice. The other woman has sensational breasts and I spent a lot of time on her. Great body overall. Face looks very good in the right circumstances. The guy couldn’t get off. I offered some pharma assistance in that regard and he declined. They are not super experienced. Not yet. Hard to know if they will get there.
Before them, we had another, bad date, with a couple whose pictures were 10 – 15 years out of date. The guy was a personal trainer of some sort and the woman an administrative assistant. They are the stuff stereotypes against swingers are made of: older, annoying, low culture (but not in a fun way), lack any semblance of glamor or poise. I noped us out of that one. I like girls who are smart but also sensual. Not a big fan of older, dumb chicks. They were an exception, though. Most people are more or less as they present themselves. Lying in online dating is not a high-quality move, because it wastes a lot of time and doesn’t result in much.
Still not quite connected to Ms. Slav. Still waiting on the IUD thing. One big problem with me and non-monogamy is the condom thing. It is possible to move past it, after everyone swaps test results, but condoms are the default.
I’m starting to understand the whole “mid-life crisis,” which I used to think stupid. In most ways my life is really good, yet I feel somehow hollow, or colorless, a lot of the time, and I’m not sure what to do with that. The old ways seem not to be working for me anymore, but I don’t know what the new ways might be. I don’t see myself continuing indefinitely down this hedonism path, but I also know too much to approve of some other paths. Some I’m kind of stuck. Many of the earlier life challenges, I have surmounted, or surmounted well enough. What next?
I’m not complaining, mind. If you’re my age, have adequate funds for housing and books, and are still railing a Ms. Slav, things cannot be that bad. In the future, however, I might shift away from her and towards someone more substantive. Good Looking Loser has a new podcast up, not very intersting or actionable, but he is also older and not so interested in sport f**king randoms anymore. I get where he is coming from. Simultaneously, I have built this whole ecosystem and just system to deliver pretty good, pretty consistent casual sex, and I’m reluctant to give this one up. Like many things in life, it was hard to build but will be easy to dismantle or let atrophy. Yet that may be my destiny anyway. I have been exploring some local political work, so maybe I will do that instead. There are one or two women in the background who could, I think, be long-term prospects. But I’m very particular about a woman who is going to be around over the long term, so I have a fundamental challenge there.
There are also some very hilarious Red-Pill comments she has made. She’s been tooling a try-hard guy for months… he kept trying to get her out last weekend, and by one in the morning she finally told him to leave. I remarked that I would never put up with that kind of behavior. She said, “I treat different guys differently.” He asked if she was home yet… and she said to me, as if she were going to write it in a text, “Baby, I wasn’t home. He should know that.” He is giving her unearned attention, and while she is enjoying it, it isn’t getting him anywhere. He texted her that he would rather be out with her than anyone else in the world. This to a young girl he barely knows. Folly. I made those mistakes… in high school and college… not for a long time. If anything I err towards not giving enough attention and not doing enough comfort.
Training Ms. Slav has been interesting. She has required very little training, though. With her… I think I can keep up, but I don’t think I want to keep up. Seems like a minor distinction, but I wonder if she’s my last ultra-high-energy girl. One down side of guys dating chicks half their age is that those chicks can be much higher energy.