“After a year of #MeToo, Americans are more sceptical about sexual harassment”

After a year of #MeToo, Americans are more sceptical about sexual harassment.” Good, and that is as it should be. Having been victim to false accusations and rumors myself, whenever I hear these kinds of accusations, they make me think less of the person making the accusation.

Maybe normal women understand women’s propensity to blame-shift in the sexual arena. Normal women fear that their husbands, brothers, and sons will be targeted. I get it. Women are very fond of doing things, then saying, “It wasn’t me.” MeToo is really about evading personal responsibility. Normal people also know that “Women love the sexual interplay they experience with men, and they relish men desiring their beauty.” Why don’t strident American feminists know this? Because they think pleading ignorance will improve their bargaining position.

“Don’t fall for a girl half your age.”

I’m having a Twitter chat with @tddaygame:

Don’t fall for a girl half your age.

Realize it’s only about sex and act accordingly.

Good advice. I see these “Red Pill” guys saying, “Who would EVER pick the older chick over the younger one?” But it depends on what the guy is looking for. If the age gap is too wide, a deeper or longer relationship won’t work. If I’m looking for a longer-term relationship, and I might be (I can’t fully tell… and uncommon position to find myself in), the youngest I can consider is probably 27 or 28. A 24-year-old girl is just not developed enough for me. Her likely trajectory is another two to four year relationship, breakup, then she finds a longer-term prospect. She is great for sex and I can nudge her development as a person, but as a long-term partner? No.

tddaygame said,

People on-line tend to exaggerate. When they hear “older chick” they think 50+. But as @GeorgeBruno shows, the answer also depends on how old and how experienced you are.

I think most 40+ guys couldn’t stand a 18 yo girl for longer than it takes them to cum.

I definitely can stand (and am right now, in fact) an 18-year-old girl, but a) Ms. Slav is very unusual and b) I’m not under any illusions about this being a long-term thing. I enjoy her company. She is more mature than a lot of mid-20s girls I’ve met. Even though she is different in many ways, I am not delusional enough to think we will be together over the long term. We won’t be. She also too into the non-monogamy and group thing for me to consider her for a longer or deeper relationship. She has gone “all in” as I have not truly seen before. By default, the chicks I’ve brought into the scene have clung to me, for the most part, and needed my encouragement to go forth. Ms. Slav is likely to become one of the central players in the scene over time. I have a longer piece on this I should write but haven’t yet.

I’m also pretty directive, especially with younger chicks, so I’m very able to say, “We’re going to do this… follow or don’t.” Most young chicks won’t follow. That’s okay with me. Some will. I’m also peculiar in that I have a small number of very deep interests and no interest in most things. I don’t want to go to pop concerts. I don’t want to do some other things that most 18 – 24-year-old girls love. There are some things I love doing and if I can get the chick to go with me, then great, and if not, then we can just do sex.

Bike Girl was good at being malleable to the things I want to do. But she is also not 18.

“Modern Love: Talking to My Fiancé About My New Girlfriend”

Modern Love: Talking to My Fiancé About My New Girlfriend” is very blue pill, as the guy in question should NOT marry that woman unless she makes substantially more money than he does. But I don’t know him and can’t say whether he is doing non monogamy from the inferior or superior position. He may be a guy with good game who uses non-monogamy as a retention tool, in which case, good for him. Or he could be a guy who knows he’ll lose this chick if he doesn’t acquiesce, in which case he deserves the opprobrium naive Red Pill guys throw.

I don’t know which he is and don’t see enough in that article to gauge his situation.

That so many articles like this one appear in the mainstream media is an argument that verbalizing nonmonogamy right up front could be a viable strategy.

“When a DNA Test Reveals Your Daughter Is Not Your Biological Child”

When a DNA Test Reveals Your Daughter Is Not Your Biological Child” is essential reading for players. A lot of basic guys lack a sense of what’s possible in game and seduction. Basic guys don’t have enough exposure to women to see the gap between the surface facade and the underlying desires.

This is also a lesson: get the DNA test if she says the baby is yours.

“How to keep sex hot in a long-term relationship”

How to keep sex hot in a long-term relationship” is 90% clickbait, but this is true:

It is easy to assume our sex lives suffer in a long-term relationship. Mismatched libidos, stress and boredom can each play a part. But pleasure between the sheets doesn’t have to dwindle.

A lot of people (especially women) let sex go:

I was starting a new relationship and I didn’t want sex to be a low priority as it had been in my seven-year marriage.

Then they are surprised when their relationship doesn’t work. If you do not make sex a priority, your relationship will suffer. I like the “say yes” principle, in which both people in a couple should say yes to sex if at all possible, even if one person is “tired” or “not in the mood” or the other stupid things that prevent people from getting busy.

Most often, it’s the woman’s fault for losing interest, but it is also true, realistically, that a lot of guys don’t try. For a couple to work, both people have to try.

I think about this in terms of my own life. If my co-parent had been more pliant and compliant, I would probably still be with her and none of my many game adventures of the last decade and a half would have happened. This blog would not have happened. My view of women would not be complete, as I think it is now.

She basically “let herself go” after kids and, simultaneously, said no to pretty much every overture I made. Although I was working incredibly hard at the time, she complained endlessly about the work she had to do. She could have simply said, “Dinner is on the table honey, would you like another blowjob?” a couple nights a week, and that, combined with a good disposition, would probably have been enough.

Instead, our sex life went to almost nothing. She was most obsessed by competing with the other mommies. She wanted me to buy her more stuff. She did not seem to realize that we did not have equal value in the relationship, or in the dating market. As my value was rising with age and work experience, hers had cratered. Post-partum she was nowhere near as physically attractive as she had been, and at the same time, from the perspective of other men, she was burdened with little kids.

I was increasingly not at home, to the point where I eventually rented a tiny but wonderful studio close to my then-office. I didn’t want to pull the plug, while at the same time I didn’t see a good way forward. As I began exploring the sexual alternatives, she didn’t seem to mind or notice, not at first, which was a tremendous mistake on her part. The more mean and demanding she became towards me, the more I withdrew. The more I withdrew, the more demanding she became.

This is the stupidest girl game I think I have ever seen. You can only successfully bluff in poker if the other players have not seen your cards. I had seen all her cards. She had nothing. I think she just thought that if she huffed and puffed enough, I would bend to her will… showing that she knew nothing about me at all. Or that female sexual market value declines after having children. It doesn’t go up. That is why women, even those who are having sex with multiple men, try to husband-up the best possible candidate when they find themselves in the family way.

Things did eventually dissolve between us, and that left her worse-off than ever. Although she sued for child support, the total child support was considerably less than in real terms than she’d gotten by living with me. I didn’t have the income to support two households, and because we weren’t married she got considerably less than she would have if we had been. My needs were ultra low (for a couple years I lived without a car… motorcycle-only… and bicycle… get this: BEFORE Uber). I spent money on rent for a small studio, kept the motorcycle going, paid for food and gym, and that was just about it. Apart from child support, obviously.

I don’t think she was thinking straight or understood what was happening. She behaved emotionally instead of rationally. She did try to reconcile with me, but by then I had realized the power of online and offline dating. My income continued to increase, while she struggled. She failed to realize that her roles in our relationship were cooking, childcare, and sex, while mine were income and fixing things. Traditional roles, in other words, but she didn’t realize it because she’d been brainwashed by feminism, or women’s magazines, or friends, that she Deserved Better. Or something. I don’t know what. The problem is that I also realized I Deserved Better… and got it.

But if her disposition had been different… if she’d committed to being pleasant around me and doing our sex life correctly… I would have stayed with her. Probably to the very end. We were too young. In some ways, she might have done me a favor.

Now she is okay, except I don’t think she likes her husband very much. She did find a much older guy, “Beta bucks” as some guys would call him, and lassoed him. I think she would have been better off staying with me, but that was not in her personality or psychology then. She had to learn the hard way.

Sort of like I had to learn the hard way that it is not smart to have a lot of sex with women without condoms. Except I still do that. Feels too good in the moment, man. It’s a dumb thing to do, but I keep doing it anyway. Maybe I am not so all-knowingly smart as I sometimes present myself.

Ecosystems and clubs

Haven’t been able to find enough appealing books to read lately… I’ve been on a run of badly written SF novels that I don’t complete because I feel like I’ve already read them and, worse, the writer is a worse writer than I am. So I picked up the Nick Krauser book A Deplorable Cad. This section, about “Beckster” (Robert Beck) reminds me of something similar but adjacent to what I do:

He’d read the old Alt-Seduction forum then go out in-field to nightclubs to try it out. After two years of what were, by his own admission, “hard work and brutal lack of success,” he cracked it and became a good player . . .

His major ruse was to set himself up as a club promoter and then go out in the street, handing out cards to hot girls and getting their numbers.

From there, Beckster would invite chicks to the club. The chicks “would experience Rob as the king of the club who knew everybody and was treated with respect by the staff,” because club promoters can get paid to bring in chicks. He’d then find other players and wannabe players and get them to bring in chicks. On top of that, “Rob put yet another layer . . . which not only made his pulling easier but also greatly enhanced the perception of his cold-approach pick-up skills in front of the students who’d paid him a fortune in coaching fees.” By being the boss of a bunch of chicks, other chicks would see him as high value… then he’d go around to pick up the other chicks in the club. Then multiple chicks would “all compete against each other to vie for his attention.”

An interesting strategy. I admire it, though it’s not for me because I dislike clubs. The only other person I’ve read who seems to have a good read on clubs is Good Looking Loser, who writes “An Introduction and Major Misconception about Party ‘Club’ Game (The Scene – Hollywood, USA):”

Groups of people meet at a designated house to “mingle”, drink and do drugs – 1 or 2 hours before going to a nightclub. (pre-party)

These groups of people take as few cars/taxis (or limousines) to go to a nightclub where they have ALREADY BEEN PUT ON A VIP/GUEST LIST by the nightclub promoter that they ALREADY KNOW. (enter club)

They get in for free, have a COMPLIMENTARY table and access to a significant amount of FREE alcohol that their promotor has reversed for them. (club)

At some point in the night, usually just after that the alcohol runs out and/or girls dance for 90 minutes, the group will leave to a PRE-PLANNED AFTER-PARTY which is usually, but not always, at the pre-party house. (exit club)

Most solo guys or small groups of guys are never going to break off one of those chicks. The marketing job of the club, however, is to convince guys that, with enough money spent, that might happen. I personally would prefer honest prostitution to this kind of slight-of-hand, but there must be enough guys to bite the bait to keep the industry going.

Krauser does not like this form of game either:

This is known as Entourage Game, and Beckster invented the modern version of it. It’s pretty much the opposite of what I do. He builds an elaborate structure based on many moving parts that elevates him to a position of situational high status in an environment where girls go to party. I roam solo on city streets picking off girls who know nothing except what I convey in one-to-one conversation.

Krauser also has another friend, Mick, who is also not like me:

He enjoys chatting to strangers for the sake of it, whereas I hate it. He’ll start up conversations no matter where he is – to a supermarket cashier, a barber, his car mechanic. In contrast, I’ll say the minimum necessary to be polite. That’s how his style developed, and it makes him excellent at bar game because he doesn’t view all of this chat as work.

I am somewhere between Krauser and Mick, but I view most random chat as closer to work than pleasure, which is why I don’t much like working the bars. I have done it before, sometimes somewhat successfully, but usually in semi-warm atmospheres (e.g. after a work conference meet up, that kind of thing).

I also don’t like normal clubs, but I am somewhat like Beckster in that I discovered, or was initiated into, a kind of workaround, in my case through sex parties and sex clubs, where everyone has been pre-filtered for interest. The upsides I have written about quite a bit. There are some downsides to what I do:

  1. Many people, even when they know intellectually that they are not monogamous, do not want to see their friend or partner banging another person.
  2. If a guy is hunting the hottest girls, the ones who are 8+, he is not likely to find them. I have seen some, but they are rare and in high demand. If a guy brings high 7s and 8+ girls, however, he will be the king of his local scene (I have played this game very successfully).
  3. A guy still needs to find a compatible chick. This version of lifestyle or ecosystem must be layered onto existing game for it to work.
  4. A guy will be evaluated very directly based on his body and sex skills. If either are lacking, everyone will know it because everyone will see the guy nude and fucking. Because (almost) everyone gets naked and has sex at these clubs and parties, I have an unusual amount of experience in evaluating how chicks look clothed and unclothed. Many chicks who seem one way clothed turn out another way when not.
  5. Doing it well takes some amount of work. There are no shortcuts.

The main advantage to what I do is volume, sustainability, and of course many people have group sex fantasies… I just happen to live them out. Consensual non-monogamy also helps me retain chicks who would otherwise want to know, “Where is this going?” Overall, I find these trade-offs to be worthwhile. What I am doing is not totally unlike what Beckster is/was doing.

Another advantage: I am satisfying many chicks’ fantasies, which they will never satisfy on their because they are chicks and most chicks need to be led most of the time. Most chicks are not self-motivated or self-starters, so they need a guy to activate their sex drives.

Another thing, neither good nor bad: I tend to get and retain sexually adventurous chicks. For guys who have a thing for inexperienced chicks or virgins, he will not find them at the sex clubs. Note that many sexually adventurous chicks still present as “classy,” if you like that sort of thing. And many chicks who present as trashy are still hard to get in bed, based on my experiences. Just like guys who dislike game say that game guys are only getting “bad” or “damaged” girls, guys who think that every sexually adventurous girl looks like a gutter rat will be surprised.

I like reading about other guys’s systems. I actually draw from a couple ecosystems (I have not written about everything I do), so I am somewhat unlike the game guys who hit new cities and begin cold approaching. But the Krauser and Tom Torero books are the most complete descriptions of game I have ever read, rivaled only by some of the original Neil Strauss and Mystery books. It is surprising to me that no one else has produced comparably detailed works. Maybe that is because writing a book takes a lot of energy for little reward, apart from the ego reward. The majority of guys out there learning how to be a player would be well-served to quit hunting for kernels of utility online and read the Krauser books.

I feel like I am still learning from them. I don’t do a lot of cold-approach daygame, so they are not likely as “useful” to me as they will be to other guys who are learning to chase tail, but they are well-written and informative. The book written by an obvious expert in his field is often interesting to me, even if I am not directly in the field. I see the world differently after I read them. I like Nassim Taleb, even though I don’t wish to be a Wall Street trader, as he was. The Krauser and Torero books are written by experts. The most annoying part of the Krauser books is the fact that they are not readily available digitally. It seems that they can be found online, but I would prefer to just click the Amazon button and be done with it. Life is too valuable to be scrimping over a $20 book. Most of the Torero books seem to be on Amazon Kindle, which I appreciate.

If there are comparable books that I’m missing, please let me know in the comments. If you are an experienced game guy, think about writing a book.

One other thing I forgot to add: Krauser says, “This was a period when I was getting to meet all the ‘name’ PUAs in London and while they all had something I could learn from, I was struck by how strange they all were. It was like a little boy’s club. Our house of cads in Hampstead looked sane in comparison.” I’m guessing that I come off as more normal than most hard-core PUAs, albeit cerebral or nerdy if I let those parts of myself peak out. When I find a pretty girl who likes to read and isn’t a twit, I get very excited. Most pretty girls who like to read are looking for a guy who isn’t a stereotypical nerd but who isn’t a frat-boy jock. Pretty girls who like to read have dating problems similar to mine. So when we find each other, it can be beautiful. I am much smarter than most good-looking gym guys (I am not so good looking but I do all right… certainly not good looking enough to make the game easy) and I am much better looking than most nerdy readers, programmers, or engineers. Ms. Slav and I connect well because she’s an extremely pretty girl who is also smart, and so her and I match immediately.

I can do well with basic chicks age 25+ who are starting to think about longer-term things, but if they are kind of dumb I get tired of them after a couple months of sex. They often become too much like having another kid around, which I don’t need in supposedly adult women.

Overall, I think I am more normal than the hardest-core PUAs, but considerably less normal than the average person.

Another Ms. Slav update

Part I, and then Part II. A lot has happened with her. We have been to more sex clubs and have even been on a date with one of my lovers and her guy. On that date Ms. Slav had sex with three people over the age of 30, so that is impressive.

She feels alienated from people her own age, which makes sense. She reads a lot of books, thinks a lot, but also has a very high libido (maybe not as high as Libido Girl, but very high). She said something interesting: if she is having a lot of sex, she gets hornier, but if she’s not, she gets less horny. Other women have made similar comments. It’s part of female sexuality being more reactive than proactive, I think. I’m the opposite: when I’m having a lot of sex, it’s good (don’t get me wrong), but I’m less compelled to seek it out. When I haven’t been having much sex, then I get ridiculously horny and want to seek it. Different systems among different sexes.

At the sex club with Ms. Slav, she’s hot enough that I have my pick of other partners or couples. I have written before that guys who combine some game with non-monogamy see compounding returns. Guys who are known in their area for bringing in hot chicks, in turn get other hot chicks brought to them. I have thought about cooling my involvement in the sex-club scene, but I’m reluctant to throw away the reputation I’ve been built there. For me, that world is now “easy mode.” Ms. Slav and I actually have a girl we’re seeing mostly together. Originally the girl had a guy she was bringing into the scene, but the guy didn’t want to handle it and she backed off him (this is pretty common). She will find another guy, I’m sure, but for the time being she’s been great. Sex has been pretty consistent, in the neighborhood of every other day with either Ms. Slav or The Third (as I’ll call her, although I don’t know if she’ll stick around) or both.

Ms. Slav still has a friend, another 18-year-old, who is making gestures towards the threesome. Not convinced it will happen, but if it does I won’t complain.

I think I am playing the same role for Ms. Slav that Libido Girl played for me. For guys, it is useful to remember that, when it comes to younger hotter chicks, you may be up against guys like me, who can offer chicks crazy shit that they’ve never attempted. With Ms. Slav, I’m the first group sex; the first time she’s used a vibe during sex; the first time she’s used a butt plug; the first time she’s been to a sex party; and probably a couple of other firsts. I’m not sure she will ever go back to normal sex and dating.

Unfortunately, I had an old injury flare up this week, so I’ve been in more pain than usual.

Still no IUD in Ms. Slav, although I am gently pushing her towards it. She has an unusually busy schedule, which is a net good thing, but it plus some other logistical challenges have prevented her from getting her IUD put in.

I wish I’d kept better notes along the way, as a bunch of other things have happened. Ms. Slav is among the more extreme girls I’ve introduced to the sex club and party scene, as most girls don’t take to it this fast.

I’ve been trying to get Ms. Slav to ride a regular bike with me, but she’s not much going for that. Still like her, though. Ms. Slav has made dinner for me a couple times, although she doesn’t eat much. This is so rare that I want to note it.

I’ve hit on a few other chicks here and there, nothing to report. My favorite was a chick who was doing some dangerous, crazy shit on a bike, which formed the core of my opener. Got the number but no reply via text or Snapchat. Too bad, as she told me she is a nurse and that she bikes to work for her night shifts. She checked a large number of boxes in a short conversation, but all players know that most leads go to nowhere.

By the way, there are also one or two ecosystem things I haven’t written about publicly but which act as an aid in my general game, compared to raw cold approach. It’s not like a famous person or musician or similar, but I think it’s fair to say that one or two things are in place that put the momentum at my back rather than against my face.

That Ms. Slav likes me but isn’t likely to want to convert me to a 1:1 monogamous boyfriend is very attractive to me. I still like her, I still like sex  with her, and yet I cannot find myself fully, 100% into the sex, which is uncommon for me. It might be the condom things. I do like being the guy who opens up the door to the place she’s always been seeking: being the guy who offers her the red pill or blue pill, the guy who opens the door into another universe. You might call it the “Wizard” role in the King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine schema, if you like that sort of thing. In my view every guy should read that book, so if you haven’t yet, quit the Internet and go buy a copy. Game tactics and strategy work best if the guy also understands the underlying nature of masculinity, masculine identity, and femininity and feminine identity.