In the last update I said, “I’ve been in a sex whirlwind,” and that is still true. We met this couple (pseudo-couple, I now know) off an app, went out, had a good time getting drinks, and brought them back for sex. It was good, very good for me. But as we were moving to it, the girl dropped that she is… married. Not to the guy she’s with. Interesting. I asked if he’s a low-sex-drive guy and she confirms, or claims, that he is.
I don’t get why a girl like her, we’ll call her Peaches, would get with a low-sex-drive guy. Peaches comes from a somewhat religious family, so maybe she has Christian baggage impeding her. Whatever the case, she has been on birth control since she was a teenager (originally not primarily for contraceptive purposes) and hormonal birth control has not harmed her sex drive a whit.
Both the guy and Peaches are in their 20s, the girl finishing up grad school and no doubt figuring out what to do next. A side thing, a rant really, on grad school: do not go to grad school and then think you’re going to get a professor job. This is false for the vast majority of graduate students. The overwhelming majority of people I know who do graduate school get slower and slower and slower as they move through and realize there is no good job for them at the end. I know guys (and some chicks) who are intellectually smarter than I am, spend 6+ years in school, then get post-doc jobs for $50K a year… less than I was making at 24.
For an intellectually inclined guy, it is okay, straight out of school, to do a two-year master degree, then get out. With a master degree, a guy can do some teaching if he wants and if he can make it work around his real job. Teaching can also be a powerful ecosystem tool for getting chicks, but doing graduate school and thinking, “I can get chicks this way” is an awful way to think, but I do believe I have seen it. A guy is better off with a real job and learning game.
Modern academia, like marriage, is a trap. “Smart” guys who are praised by their college instructors may think academia is a good idea. It is not and it will frequently f**k up your life. As it has for Peaches. She is almost certainly making less money than she would have with an undergraduate nursing degree. She is smart and motivated enough to get through graduate school, and that means she could be a nurse practitioner by now and making $90k+ per year. Instead, she makes far less money than that and works to advance someone else’s career.
Still has incredible tits, though. Nice body overall. Perfectly shaped and proportioned T & A. Can’t figure out why she would marry a guy who is borderline asexual. Ms. Slav has shared some rides with Peaches, and Peaches is pretty dissatisfied with her marriage (can’t say I blame her, if what she says is mostly true). I think I’ve said this before, but there are some reasonable number of women doing group sex and open relationships are freshly divorced or out of long-term relationships and ready to party. This one isn’t divorced yet, but late 20s and high sex drive + asexual husband equals divorce. The husband knows about her sex life. I don’t get him.
I like Peaches’s face a lot because I like her as a whole package, but she’s got a pretty normal, girl-next-door face. I think she’s getting pretty intensely into me. We have great sex chemistry. I’m going to try to break her off from her other guy… I’m better than him in bed, despite being something like 15 years older, and I can see Peaches looking at me and… thinking. Thinking about what she’s going to do next. I’ve been around a lot of girls who are thinking about the branch swing. There is a lot of “money doesn’t matter in game” and “don’t be a provider” comments in the game and Red Pill community. The first one is untrue or slightly true: money isn’t very important in the very short term, but as soon as you get into a regular thing with a chick, it starts to matter if you have none of it. Chicks prefer guys with their shit together, if possible, just like guys prefer younger-hotter, if possible.
It is true that average, game-unaware guys overestimate the importance of money and default towards presenting themselves as providers, both being mistakes. But I see game guys default too far in the other direction. In this foursome, I end up controlling a lot of the narrative and logistics because I have the money and space to pull them off.
So… does money matter? Yes and no. All else being equal, more is better. The older a guy gets, the more true this is. I’ve seen it go every which way in my life. I’ve seen chicks leave pretty well-off guys who bore the chick. She goes off with some couch-surfing guitarist. I’ve seen chicks leave cool artsy alternative guys when the chicks want someone stable and responsible. There is no magic “right” answer because the right answer varies by the chick and how long you’re going to be with her. The longer you’re with her, the more the money matters. Even for Peaches, I see her interest in me. Helps that I’ve banged her unbelievably hard and thoroughly.
A while ago, I was seeing this girl, I think I met her online (so quite a while ago). In her clothes and especially her tight wrap dresses, a good choice on her, she looked delicious. Completely fecund. Curvy in all the right places. I’ve been with girls like that, and when they’re young, they’re fantastic. Eventually got her naked and everything flopped out and down. Like unwrapping an anticipated Christmas present that turns out to be old socks.
I’ve had the opposite happen too. Peaches is the opposite. She looks good but not stunning off the bat. Most guys would probably give her a very high 6 or low 7. Sometimes you’ll see some chick you think is okay, she doesn’t wear very flattering clothes, or she does but you don’t quite know what you’re going to get, and you take it all off and everything is perky, smooth, beautifully flush, and you bump her up a couple notches. You just don’t know till you close her.
Peaches is more of the latter. Looks okay clothed and better nude. I have unusual experience in comparing chicks clothed to chicks nude, due to group sex.
I believe Peaches found this guy, Other Guy, started an affair with him (or talked to her husband first about her sexual needs not being met? I don’t know the story yet) and he’s sort of “the first person available.” Now she’s seeing a guy like me, a better choice in almost every way, and I think she is going to wind up with someone else. Such is the danger of non-monogamy for guys who do not measure up, as I think this guy is.
I was walking out with him one night and mentioned my plans to do the gym the next day. He was like, “Yeah, I should really get in that.” I told him the truth, that I love it, and that I love straining against the iron. I didn’t love it at first, but the love grew over time, especially reading some inspirational literature from Arnold, and from other guys who live life in the Temple of Iron. I’m not one of them… I’m not huge or jacked… but I do love chasing the challenge. A guy who does non-monogamy is going to run into guys who are serious about lifting and diet. That is a danger for the average guy, who is serious about neither, and whose lack of seriousness shows.
I could be wrong. I could try to pull Peaches for one-on-one and fail. It has happened before. But the signs are there. I’ll try for next weekend. I sound awfully arrogant in this section of the post. I’m trying to be honest, though. I have met guys who are better looking and wealthier than me. This one… just isn’t one. Sorry, Other Guy. He’s also a little too PC for me. A little too SJW. Which is fine… I don’t dispute these things all that much in real life. I lead by example, not by derailing good flirting with political talk. But it, his PC-ness, makes me think a little less of him as a man, and it probably also makes normal women just a little bit drier towards him. To normal women, the PC / SJW thing is fine among low-status, non-sexual “allies,” but not so good in guys they actually consider f**king. I just don’t see those PC / SJW guys getting as much. PC / SJW talk is a demonstration of lower value to women, even women who might agree intellectually.
So we’re seeing them again this week. Being with Ms. Slav has been a wild f**king ride, and it continues to be one. I don’t know how long I can do it, though. She parties harder than me. She is amazing in some ways, too much in others. I’m happy to have found her, but I also feel like she is going to be, if not the last, then one of the last girls I do the full, complete, crazy non-monogamy crazy party thing with. The desire is not there as it used to be. But I’m also happy I brought Ms. Slav in. She would have found it eventually, and she is too highly sexed to be suitable for normal relationships.
She is also less discriminating than most girls and less discriminating than me. Usually I control the whole flow from meeting to sex. Ms. Slav is happy to have a LOT of sex in one night, and she has it with people she shouldn’t, in my view. Not that the sex is wrong, but both the guy and the girl in a couple need to bring value to the table. If they do not, she should not be with them, in my view. I have very much internalized the “exchange of value” paradigm that I have written about. Ms. Slav, when she gets turned on, is not as devoted to that paradigm. Very, very unusual.
She says that she has never done online dating, which is surprising to me. It may be that she is willing to f**k whatever guy happens to be in her orbit, so she doesn’t need it.
With Ms. Slav, I think I have changed her entire life trajectory. Her inclinations were already there, but I have opened a door for her. Given her a Red Pill (though not that Red Pill).
It’s a wild ride, like I said, and it’s basically insane. I also find myself feeling oddly lonely at times, as I have not, usually, in the past. Sometimes in the middle of group sex I feel totally alone. I do not know what that means. Something in my psychology is changing.
Ms. Slav is so young that she is the object of virtually every man’s desire. It has been some time since I’ve been in the scene with a girl quite as stunning as her, and the sheer ease of being in the scene with her keeps me attached to it. Almost any girl becomes available. There is an addictive quality to having that be true. Not having to work hard for high-quality tail is extremely appealing. It’s what drives men to the heights of artistic achievement. I don’t want to overstate, as I don’t have a free buffet of 8+ chicks, as high-end actors and musicians do. But I have had and do right now have access to chicks most guys would be quite pleased to nail even after a lot of work. Ms. Slav has beauty and I have reasonable game + connections + logistics. Part of me wants to scale back, as you can tell from reading this. Part of me, however, has stumbled into this amazing situation. It is “easy mode.”
Ms. Slav also, like a lot of hot girls, doesn’t understand that sex isn’t just available “on demand” for guys. If she wants sex, she just gets it. Pretty much every straight man she’s ever met wants to have sex with her. For 98% of guys, it ain’t like that. But for guys, it’s often useful to act like it’s like that. As I do with Ms. Slav.
I think back now to opening Ms. Slav. Every time a guy opens… he doesn’t know what’s going to happen. He’s making things happen. Women very rarely make things happen. Things happen to women. Even Ms. Slav, who is more forward than most women, primarily reacts.
I’ve not been able to get Ms. Slav to ride a bike with me, or go to the gym with me.