This is probably a stupid thing to do, but on years when I’m not doing family stuff, I often go to a friend’s Thanksgiving. My friends have a fun house and are very accepting… they invite lots of their friends and family, so the group is always fresh and kind of random.
You can probably see where this is going, and what the stupid thing is: I told Ms. Slav she can come, although I warned her that she would probably be bored because most of the people there will be far older than her and more boring than her. But she doesn’t have anything to do and, while lots of college girls claim they don’t fit in with the rest of the college herd, in her case it is actually true.
I have brought “inappropriate” girls to events like Thanksgiving, but this is a new high, or low, for me. Ms. Slav has very good social skills, so I’m not concerned about that. I am looking forward to the feedback from friends afterwords, though. When a single guy brings a hot chick into a world that mostly consists of couples who are close to each other in age, interesting things happen. Usually the women all get their feathers ruffled and their hackles up. They instinctively hate the younger, hotter rival, but social etiquette demands they not be too direct about that hate.
Their real ire, however, is about the example the younger rival sets. All of their boyfriends and husbands are going to look at me and start thinking, “If this guy can pull that hot young girl, can I do it, too?” A few of the guys will be jealous but most of them will be like, “You lucky dog, you.”
I hate the emphasis normal guys put on “Getting lucky.” It isn’t luck, for the most part. It’s skill, diligently applied. With any given interaction, there is a luck element. Like with Ms. Slav, when I opened her about books I had no idea she’d be such a sexual predator. There was luck. But I’ve chatted with hundreds of other girls who went nowhere. Ms. Slav was luck. Chatting up all those other girls… it has elements of skill. All those nights at the gym, days in the pool, sessions in the yoga studio… that isn’t luck.
So we’re going to see how it goes. I’ve warned Ms. Slav and attempted to set very low expectations. Bringing her is in some ways “bad game.” It seems like a nice thing to do, and, because she’s not from the United States, she has limited options.
Too bad I’ve not banged her friend from her home country. That may be back on the table, though. If I walked in with TWO young hot chicks, I would never hear the end of it. That’s okay with me, as I’m “the black sheep” in some ways among people I know who are somewhat close to my own age. But as my friends and colleagues go through their divorces (usually in ages 35 – 45), some of them are coming around to my point of view. One guy I work with had a lot of subtle but noticeable disapproval of me and my life… until his wife wanted a divorce out of the blue. Now he almost wants to be my disciple, which is kind of strange.
Going back to Ms. Slav, I get the sense that most players are living in NYC, LA, London, or other megapolises where almost everyone stays single a very long time and almost no one has kids. My own non-dating social world is quite a bit different from that.