“I’m Broke and Mostly Friendless, and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life” is a case study in misplaced priorities. It’s also core Red Pill from start to end. The writer says, “I feel like a ghost. I’m a 35-year-old woman, and I have nothing to show for it.” She’s a ghost because around age 35, most women are no longer the primary target for high-status-male attention. Lots of guys will give her a whirl but most will do so as a secondary option. This woman has spent her life partying and is now repenting of that lifestyle. It’s not too late for her, but she will have to understand that she is not who she was at 24.
“I have no family nearby, no long-term relationship built on years of mutual growth and shared experiences, no children.” She is looking at women she knows who chose less partying and more pair-bonding and are reaping those rewards.
I’m trying, Polly. I am. I’m dating. I’m working out and working hard. Listening to music I enjoy and loving my cat. Calling my mom. Yet I truly feel like a ghost.
This is almost certainly a lie. There are guys who will go for her. Many 45 – 50-year-old guys would love to get her. But she likely wants the usual: a guy over six feet tall, makes a lot of money, handsome, good in bed, etc., etc., just like the 26-year-old girls she’s competing with.
“On top of that, society is telling me my value as a woman is fading fast, my wrinkles require Botox (reference said poor finances), all the while my manager is asking for me to finish ‘that report by Monday.’ Why bother?” Society isn’t telling her that her value as a woman is fading fast. Evolutionary biology is telling her this. She could have learned as much in university or from reading books, had she not been too busy partying and watching TV.
All the while still trying to be the sexpot 25-year-old I thought I was until what seemed like a moment ago.
Things change. Women hit peak sexual market value (SMV) sooner than men do (though we all hit it). It’s interesting to watch the whole dating market shift in the late 20s to early 30s. Suddenly, many men experience more dating market power, while many women have to reconcile themselves to relative decline. Decline is wholly predictable based on evolutionary biology, by why read about that when you can read about how great feminism is?
The writer is unhappy because she made choices she now perceives as bad. Bad choices not even the government can save her from. She can vote for socialism, she can hope to take other people’s money, but she cannot salve the wound in her heart.
I feel bad for her. I was thinking about women like her when I wrote, “Catch and release women who want families.” Players with decent game should not run out the clock on women like her, even if they (we) can. Give her some tumbles, then let cut her loose. That is better for the player himself, not just the chick.
Smart, self-aware women understand that their families are more important than getting ecstatic d**k. Somewhat smart, un-self-aware women don’t get that and end up bitter crones and spinsters. This woman still can’t admit, “There are guys who will take me and put a baby in me, but they are older, less wealthy, and less hot than I am used to.” That would be responsibility. She still can’t go there.
Upper-middle-class parenting and education today emphasizes the acquisition of stupid status signifiers, of which many university degrees are examples, at the expense of family and a meaningful life. I have tried to talk to my kids about this, but it’s like speaking into an empty canyon: the entire culture has been working to carve out that canyon. There are limits to what I can do to fix it.