What open relationships look like for a bottom, beta guy

When a Boyfriend Joins the Marriage” is from the New York Times so it is about a bottom, beta guy in an “open” marriage (read: his wife directs everything). It’s what the typical Red Pill guys think about open relationships, because they are imagining themselves in the bottom-guy position. I wrote “Open or poly relationships from the superior position or inferior position” to look at the issue from the top, alpha guy position. For top guy guys, open relationships can solve retention problems.

Top guys have different problems and don’t get married. Or, if they do get married and their wife wants an outside lover, they get divorced.

It’s also true that guys need to f**k their partners good. This story by a spinster, feminist writer is about her mom getting pregnant by a man the mom isn’t married to, and how the feminist writer learns her actual father’s identity. You may think this is another “All women are like that” story, but the mom isn’t getting f**ked by her husband, and the husband consents to the mom living in New York City while he works upstate.

It looks like the husband is at fault as much as or more than the mom. He’s not f**king her, so she finds someone else who will. Red Pill guys are overly eager to blame failed relationships on women. If you’re a guy and in a relationship with a woman, you need to f**k her regularly and thoroughly, or she will legitimately look for affection somewhere else. I mentioned an occasional lover of mine who has a stronger libido than her husband’s, and she is out looking for the sex she isn’t getting at home. Same thing with Peaches.

Reciprocity is a two-way street. I would not put up with a woman who won’t f**k me (barring legitimate medical problems). Women will not put up with a man not f**king them.

For every hot girl you see, chances are someone is f**king her. You might as well try to make you be the guy who is.

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One I got and then didn’t want

Not sure why, but today I was reminded of a girl, “Katy,” who I met through the scene. She was married and poly but also, surprisingly, attractive. I thought so, at least. We’d flirted here and there, but she eventually broke it off with her long-term boyfriend, and I somehow ended up going on some dates with her. I expected things to go straight to sex, but she’s more of the “poly” part of the open relationship universe, rather than the “swinging” part of the universe, so we went on some dates.

I don’t remember much of the dates, apart from the fact that I liked her, and she liked me, especially because she couldn’t rattle me (though she kept trying, softly). I think when I finally got her back to my place, it was in an afternoon. She has an unusual job that oscillates between extreme hours and no work. We may even have gotten together on a weekday or holiday.

The thing I remember most is the letdown feeling when she was finally naked and I was there to f**k her. I’d seen her in lingerie before. I’d seen her f**king before, albeit from a distance and in dim lighting. She is very tall, but not quite as lean as I would have liked. She is the sort of woman who, if she quit sugar, would probably add a point. But she’s not as disciplined as me in that respect. She still wasn’t bad looking, but for whatever reason we did not match. She was not as hot as I would have liked, and some girls just drive me crazy by their smell, by their essence, by their being. She is not one of them. I hate to sound like a chick, but there is an element of “chemistry” in attraction, especially with chicks who are not 8+.

I like to say that you’re rarely fully aware of how hot a girl really is until you see her naked. Some girls get bumped up a point or two, some down a point or two. This one bumped down. Some of these girls I have way under-estimated, some, like Katy, I have over-estimated. In personality terms, Katy has an edge I like, but not so much edge that she loses her sense of playfulness. Yet I couldn’t get properly excited about her in bed. She is the kind of girl I would have happily f**ked as a teen or in my early 20s, for sport and pleasure, when just getting inside an acceptable woman was a monumental event. By the time I found Katy it was less monumental and I was more discerning. Too discerning, it turned out, or we were just wrong for each other.

I know some guys only want what they can’t have, and when they get a chick, they lose interest in her. That has not been me. But when I get a chick and am disappointed with what I realize I’ve gotten, I know it.

Now I still see her at parties every so often, but we say hi and that’s about it.

There is no real learning point to this story; it’s just a small slice of my life.

“U.S. Population Grew at Slowest Pace in More Than 80 Years”

U.S. Population Grew at Slowest Pace in More Than 80 Years” is not game related, but it is related to the way immigration is going to continue: there are simply too few workers, relative to the number of old people drawing benefits in the form of Social Security and Medicare.

As birthrates have dropped and death rates risen, immigration’s role in the nation’s continuing population growth has expanded. Last year, it accounted for 48% of the country’s growth, up from 35% in 2011

Until and unless native-born persons have more kids, we’re going to see the demand for labor come from other places. Seriously, go to an old folks home sometime, if you haven’t been. I have some elderly relatives. 98% of the workers there are foreign-born.

If you dislike this trend, you’re having a bunch of kids to compensate, right?

Right?

We get the society we build.

“We get the society we build” is also why I love the Zero electric motorcycle. It’s an amazing product to ride and puts $0 into the coffers of Saudi Arabia, a country whose religious lunacy fuels its anti-sex and pro-terrorism stance.

 

“The Married Woman Who’s Been Cheating for 6 Years”

The Married Woman Who’s Been Cheating for 6 Years.”

Like I’ve said, don’t get married. The risk-reward ratio is way out of whack. Notice that she’s trying to conceive while at the same time having an affair.

I’ve written this before, but there is a real chance that a woman I met at a business conference years ago may have had my kid, in a situation not too far off from this one. The timing matches up. Could easily be her husband’s. Or some other guy’s, for all I know.

“Polyamorous sex is the most quietly revolutionary political weapon in the United States”

Polyamorous sex is the most quietly revolutionary political weapon in the United States.” Most of the guys in this article are even more beta than they sound. But guys can weaponize this through game and through being in the superior position.

“The 5 Years That Changed Dating”

The 5 Years That Changed Dating.” I think Tinder worked well up to 2015/16, then stopped working well, but I got on that bandwagon before most other people.

Today, cold approach is more powerful than ever because most guys simply won’t do it. Yet most women long to be approached by a hot guy who can push her buttons.

Surprised by indifference. Guys can flake too.

Flaked out on Ms. Slav again this weekend. I think she’s surprised by indifference and by the speed with which replacement happens, or has happened to her; we talked on the phone and danced around the subject. She’s used to being chased, so when a guy doesn’t chase her, she’s uncertain. I’m pretty sure she expected the “primary partner” conversation to go differently than it did, as she’s used to tooling guys. But I have written quite a bit about reciprocity and I really mean what I wrote: she became less regular and flakier, and I’ve done the same, in about the same proportion, with her… I’m highly sensitized to female bad behavior. Even small amounts of it trigger defense mechanisms in me, defense mechanisms I’ve learned the hard way. Like the way I’ve learned that “Attention is the only tool modern men have,” which is probably the most important thing I’ve written, and the one it seems many guys have the hardest time implementing. Another way of using attention properly is to follow tit-for-tat after the first couple lays. This strategy is not as good for the very beginning parts of a relationship, when the guy typically has to do more work.

Previously, regarding Ms. Slav, I wrote that I’m unaccustomed to being in the inferior part of the relationship, and I think she is the same. She’s used to being chased. She’s used to having guys adapt their schedules to her, as I used to, and don’t anymore. She has many stories of boys and even men chasing her, desiring her, giving her (sometimes expensive) gifts, prostrating themselves before her, begging attention from her, etc. Guys who get a taste of her puss and fall in love with her. She’s used to saying, “See yah!” and hitting the road. Now she’s encountering all of that in me. Such is the power of even modest game, or, more likely, experience. I have f**ked hot chicks before, I have seen almost every manner of female bad behavior, and I know how to reply to it. I know Ms. Slav can be replaced. She knows that I know, and I know she knows I know, although I don’t thinks she would use the words I’m using.

Indifference is more shocking to her, I think, than love or hate. Being relinquished or released does not happen to her often. But I am not fond of being the #2 or #3 choice. I, however, am used to chicks experiencing sudden temperature swings, and me being dropped by them. Chicks and secret society guys can go colder faster than normal people.

Readers can probably infer that the consensual non-monogamy and sex party world have some problems of the traditionally monogamous world, just transformed but not wholly eliminated. Many adventure stories see the hero transmitted into a dark “mirror world” that is similar to but different from the normal, daylight world. Non-monogamy works similarly.

I still like Ms. Slav more than not, but she has been focused on school and is much more heavily into the scene than even I am. In my view she says, “Yes” too much. To almost all invitations. To guys on Facebook.

I wrote a variant of this previously, but some of you are probably thinking that if I’d just managed Ms. Slav better, she would still be firmly in my orbit. That is possible, but doubtful. She has greater interest in this world than even me.

She is also willing (semi-willing?) to let pictures of her be used for social media purposes. I’m not sure she’s tracking what’s happening closely, or as closely as she should be. But the number of super hot chicks in the world is small, and the number in the scene is small. The number who are willing to be photographed is smaller still. This may come back to bite Ms. Slav… or it may not. She may fully “come out” in a way that most participants are reluctant to. If it weren’t for peculiar aspects of my own life setup, I might be willing to come out. Men are more willing, on average than women. Especially single men.

Ms. Slav is popular as a photograph target because almost everyone understands basic principles of consumer advertising. How do you sell to a man? Tell him this product will bring him hot chicks. To a woman? This product will make her one. Ms. Slav could not be a professional model, but she is willing to be undressed and trussed up in front of the camera.

Ms. Slav will be at home for a few weeks, and it would not surprise me if she’s had enough of me by the time she gets back. It’s rare for casual relationships to survive the “primary partner” or “be my boyfriend” talk if the outcome is not positive. But Ms. Slav has been exceptional in many ways, which is why I’ve been writing so much about her. Long-time readers will remember “Bike Girl,” who is (was) a more normal relationship than Ms. Slav. Bike Girl was into me and very much wanted to develop our relationship. Most chicks want one or at most two primary relationships. Very few go all the way into Ms. Slav territory, f**king seemingly everyone. Some. I’ve f**ked some of those girls. The girl I cut loose a while ago is like that. We got coffee the other day; I still like her. She lacks diet discipline and that is showing, even at her age. I looked through some of the sex tapes we made, and I can see the difference happening from the first to the last. Remarkable. It’s also weird to see that I wrote that post about her in July… it seems like last month.

I emphasize how rare Ms. Slav is in the preceding paragraph because I think some guys will think her behavior is common, when in fact it’s not. Because it’s so uncommon, it makes a good story. I’ve written far more about Ms. Slav than I did about Bike Girl because Bike Girl was pretty normal and Ms. Slav is not.

People doing consensual non-monogamy successfully often have quite orderly, regular lives apart from the sex clubs. Most lives can only tolerate so much disorder before they collapse or spiral out of control. To be totally debauched in one area, one must be very stable and responsible in others. Most people in the community are employed and have a reasonable financial base, too; it’s hard to explore alternate relationship styles if you can’t pay rent first.

If I have the opportunity, I might go a couple weeks or month without chicks, as a kind of psychological or physical challenge. Some of the regulars may drop off. But that depends on Peaches’s scheduled.

Does anyone else reading this, and in the game, like Stoic philosophy? I’m not religious, but there is a slightly religious impulse behind my interest.