Girls with high numbers

As usual, Nash arrives with a lot of perceptive comments, in response to this post, and I have so much to say in return that I’m just going to foreground it all here. If you don’t read that link first, most of what follows will not make sense to you.

> I would assume you don’t buy the “girls lose the ability to bond when they have X number of sex partners” argument.

Actually, I think that’s true for the average girl, who just gets f**ked up by too many partners. But there are some girls who have hindbrain/forebrain agreement and can seem to do it.

The bigger problem for those girls is that most guys, even sex-positive man-slut guys like me, don’t want to bond with the most promiscuous girls. “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”, that kind of thing. And it’s often tough for girls to put their partners first. Tough, but not impossible.

So is it true on average? Yeah. But it’s probably less true in the sex-positive community, where a structure for this thing exists.

Ms. Slav seems very uninterested in the concept of “quality men.” This is part of what bothers me: she lets too much of her value go. Riv likes to say men build their value, women protect their (pre-existing) value. Ms. Slav is not quite good enough at that, for my taste. This goes back to the idea of sex-positive, sexually experienced girls finding it hard to get primary partners. Even within the open-relationship and sex-club scene, there are some rules and principles. If a girl is not going to put a primary man first, she is not likely to find and keep one.

Even I am focused on value and reciprocity. Even girls in the scene find casual sex easier than longer-term bonding.

Nash also wonders if Ms. Slav is “damaged goods,” or if she will become that way. I can’t tell. Not yet. I think most chicks who are “damaged goods” cannot accept their past or reconcile their sexual proclivities with their higher-order thinking. Ms. Slav seems to have aligned forebrain/hindbrain. For that reason, I don’t think she’ll turn out as “damaged goods.” No guarantees, obviously.

A girl who is sex positive and likes to have a lot of sex with a lot of partners, and can admit that to herself and not be ashamed of it, will probably not turn out be damaged goods. Unusual goods, yes. But not damaged.

I’m somewhat hesitant to write about Ms. Slav as much as I have, because she is so unusual. A typical girl would generate less commentary from me.

While I’m not jealous per se, I do want to see people behave by the correct rules and principles. I try to impart those rules and principles to Ms. Slav. She has not totally absorbed them, however. I’m fine with group sex and non-monogamy if value is being exchanged for value. Ms. Slav is throwing the value equation out of whack, and I see it, and it makes me unhappy.

>>Separately: I read American Gods by Gaiman a few years ago (so-so book). He has a character called Pandora. She is like a lovely, predatory courtesan… she “consumes you” as you fuck her. And the character never came off as malevolent to me.

Maybe… maybe somewhere… there is a highly-sexed girl (as in 50+ partners) that comes out at the level of “sex goddess,” giving herself in this open, radiant way, year after year, with no corruption.

I am open to the concept… but I have never seen it.

I have seen it, I believe. Ms. Slav may be like this. I am thinking of another woman I was seeing for a while who has this kind of quality. Some of these women are just very independent and don’t want to conventionally pair-bond. They don’t want kids. They have self-sustaining, good jobs. It’s not super common, but I have seen it. Ms. Slav may be like this. She has a lot of work ethic. Her family is very rich, too.

I think some women like this become escorts. Why not make big bucks for doing something you’re already doing for free? Kind of like how a lot of amateur porn is now being made under the aegis of Pornhub’s Verified Amateur program. Why give it away, when you have something valuable enough to make a few bucks at it?

I don’t know what will happen with or to Ms. Slav. She is at least seven years away from thinking more seriously about kids and family. More likely ten years. A long time for me. An ocean for a girl her age.

What I’m up to isn’t for everyone. Yet many players are implicitly doing this. Sexually adventurous chicks are surely more responsive to players than sexually non-adventurous chicks. You probably aren’t getting many girls of this type among introverted Asians, however. Maybe some Japanese girls. I have heard about the kink clubs in Japan.

Author: The Red Quest

How can we live and be in society?

2 thoughts on “Girls with high numbers”

  1. I just discovered your blog, after you left a comment on mine.

    It’s got me hooked. Open and honest might be the easiest part – thoughtful and interesting is the difficult part that you’ve made look easy.

    Well done and thanks.


  2. If she’s a good partner and loyal to you now, why does it matter?

    And please don’t refer me (not insinuating, just a disclaimer) to some jive study showing that women with x partners are more likely to divorce. correlation not causation, statistics aren’t individuals, etc. assume the above is true and don’t tell me ‘well it’s not likely’

    (1) a high quality man is a high quality man is a high quality man
    (2) women pair bond to high quality men

    So many men, even with high notches, are just afraid to own up to the reality:
    they’re afraid of being exposed to the world as something less than perfectly special.

    no matter what you think you got going on, there’s someone out there with better.
    and the more guys she’s been with, the more likely she’s encountered it.

    that’s what this is about.
    I know a lot of guys will rattle off some silly cow milk analogy or self respect or whatever else, but it’s just jive.
    it’s fear. pure and simple.
    irrational fear.

    if she’s a cheater, it’s not something numbers are going to change.
    if she’s a liar, same diff.

    many women with high notches are honest and up front. I’d say maybe more than the average woman.
    if you’re just there for one night or for sex, they say that.
    if they’re interested in more, they say that.

    and most times, so called sluts are pretty picky about only getting more involved with high quality men. some only bed down high quality (At least in some attribute) men.

    most of my confidence has come from high notch women.
    if you can make a triple digit club member fall madly in love with you…that says more for your prowess as a man than some woman who has only had five dicks in her life.

    inb4 (well they all rejected her you’re the only sucker)


    men are SIMPS MEN ARE SIMPS MEN ARE SIMPS by and large.
    once they get pussy, esp easy pussy, MOST GO NUTS and SIMP OUT.
    the entire reason acting lIKE A MAN is so powerful is BECAUSE MOST MEN ARE SIMPS (and this has ALMOST ZERO CORRELATION WITH PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES). men who are physically attractive tend to be THE MOST SIMPISH because they are not used to fighting to get what they want or dealing with situations that TEST THEM AS MEN.


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