So, Wednesday night after Christmas some friends are having a party. About 20 people are there. It’s the day after Christmas, so most people have no or minimal work. I go alone; Peaches, Ms. Slav, Home Friend, and other recent guests in my life are home seeing their families. Most of the guests there have seen me with Ms. Slav. The people there either haven’t gone home to see their families or are tired of their families and frisky for something else; I think I’m going to socialize for a while and check out early,
There is a girl there who I’ve seen around before. She’s most interested in rope bondage. We’ll call her Stephanie. She is pretty, a high 6 / low 7, but I like her vibe. Also the pervy twinkle in her eye. Some chicks just exude the sense that they’re up for it, they’ll be good at it, and they’ll make it a fun time. She has that vibe. There are also not a lot of unoccupied girls there, and she’s one. She has an interesting job.
In the forthcoming non-monogamy book I talk a little bit about girls who like bondage or similar activities more than actual sex. Usually that’s more typical of girls, but in this case, this guy in the scene is not very interested in f**king and loves ropes. This guy is very curious, as his drives are different than mine. He’s very sedate and seems to like tying chicks up much more than he likes f**king them. Don’t ask me why, people have their own things going on. He doesn’t f**k them at all, from what I can see. He brings his whole rope setup to parties, though. Because of his personality and interests, he is very popular at parties… I have seen him tie up like eight or ten chicks in a given night. Why so few, over so many hours? The guy is efficient but takes his time, making incredibly intricate patterns. Chicks who like rope even a little bit LOVE him, and, as I said, he is not doing this as a prelude to f**king the chick, like I would be. So chicks don’t have to make a f**k/no f**k decision about him when they ask to be tied up. It’s a “no f**k” decision, and that means more chicks will do it. He gets off on the tying up, I guess? I don’t totally get it.
I’m spending some time describing him because he’s unusual and because the typical guy online will be like, “lol beta cuck wut.” That is not exactly him, although maybe elements of those slurs can apply to him. As far as I can see, Rope Guy is living the life he wants to live… though it is not the life I would want to live. To me, that’s the fundamental aspect of the Red Pill: understanding how the world works, so that you can live the life you want. Most guys are not living the lives they want. If a guy deeply wants to be a provider-type dude with a fat, nagging wife, or he wants to be celibate… I think that’s fine. Not for me, but whatever. The Red Pill exists because most guys have no idea what’s going on and aren’t leading the lives they should. It gives men options, once they can see clearly.
That’s an aside. Point is, this night, this girl is there, and she’s gotten into the scene through Rope Guy. Rope Guy and I get along well, and he’s tied up a bunch of chicks I’ve brought to parties. I encourage them to get tied up by him. It’s a kind of division of labor. He ties them up, I f**k them later. It seems we both get what we want. I get what I want, I know that. This night, Wednesday after Christmas, Stephanie and I have flirted a little bit on and off. She has a more-interesting-than-usual job and life story. More interesting, though less lucrative, than me. I don’t ask the typical questions of her, and I think she likes that.
While we’re talking, the guy who I describe in this story and this one is also there. He turns out to be a bitch, so I’m going to call him The Bitch. The Bitch and I had some rapport before the Ms. Slav thing, but he now hates me. At the party, early on, I nod at him and say hi, and he says nothing back and looks away.
A little bit more background on him: I can’t tell if he’s dumb or not, but he comes across as stupid. He sounds stupid: I mean that his voice literally sounds like a stoned, stupid surfer dude. That probably doesn’t matter a lot of the time for him and chicks, but with this one it turns out it does matter… or she just doesn’t like his vibe.
He comes over to start hitting on Stephanie and more or less ignores me. I don’t think she’s as into him as she is into me, though, as he is pretty clumsy and playing the typical boring 20 questions game, work, family, yada yada yada. So I roll off and say that I’m going to get a drink and beckon Stephanie, so that she’s very close to me, and I whisper in her ear, “When you get bored, come find me.” She giggles. She gets it. Prolonged eye contact as I leave. There is a strong feeling between us, and The Bitch is outside it.
I know “experts” on the Internet think that a guy’s looks are all-important and that all chicks are eager to f**k only the physically hottest guy they can find. That has not always been my experience, however. Just as most chicks have a “looks” threshold, many also have an “intelligence” threshold. Not intelligence as in book-smarts IQ, but they want a guy they can talk to, who has accomplished something in his life, who stimulates their minds, etc. That stimulation can be through humor or through deep thought or any number of other things. When students fall for their male teachers and professors, this is often happening: the chick is attracted to intelligence, as well as social position. On average, of course, basic chicks will chase the hottest guys, but some chicks go for someone else.
So Stephanie has some intelligence threshold, and I believe The Bitch doesn’t pass it. I have written that my daygame is not that good, largely I think because I have not needed to make it that good. The Bitch may be kind of stupid because he hasn’t needed to get smart to achieve his goals. But he will sometimes lose out, because he is stupid or psychologically weak.
When another guy tries to swoop in with a girl like Stephanie, I usually prefer rolling off or laughing, rather than trying to lock horns with him. This has likely lost me some chicks but gained me more than I’ve lost, I believe. Sometimes, in other circumstances, I will say to the guy something like, “Nice to meet you,” and then hold my hand out to the girl and tell her something like, “Follow me” or “Let’s go.” If she won’t go… then she is not my girl for the night and I have already lost her. Many guys delude themselves into thinking a chick is “theirs” when she is not. I often want to find out quickly if the chick is mine, or if she is just passing through. If she is not mine, and not likely to become mine, I want to cut off the attention early.
I see a lot of online advice about how to handle these kinds of situations. Some of the advice is good, but sometimes the girl doesn’t like you that much, or she likes the other guy better, or she just likes attention. There is no 100% shot for this kind of situation. In general, I don’t want to feed attention to the girl unless she is doing what I want to reward. When another guy is overtly hitting on her… I don’t want to feed her more attention.
I have not seen THAT many situations where I’m competing hard for a chick with another dude. I just don’t seem to get in as many of them as some players say they do. So with Stephanie, I’m in a somewhat unusual position for me.
But a couple minutes later she finds me. I said something to her like, “That looked tedious. Sorry you had to go through with it.” She falls right into frame. Soon, Rope Guy is setting up, and I encourage her to get tied up. I hang back and watch. Some other girls come over to watch too. Rope Guy’s skills advertise themselves. There are a few other cute chicks there, but they have boyfriends/dates/partners, and I don’t want to interrupt their couple dynamics. As a single guy at a sex party, it is smart to hang back and let them come to me, if they are going to, and no guys there “owe” me a bang, if you will. Even if they did… I would likely not have collected, or sought to collect.
Rope Guy is in the tying and admiring and untying process with Stephanie for like 45 minutes. He has another chick lined up immediately after her. I can see The Bitch eyeing her, but she is a bit dazed and I say hi, she says, “That was amazing,” and I ask if I can kiss her. She says yes, and it’s very straightforward from there. I pick her up and deposit her on one of the mattresses and she comes the first time after like 90 seconds of oral sex. By the time I’m ready for her I’m very much into it. I honestly don’t last as long as I would like, as this girl is insanely turned on, and her being turned on turns me on. It’s surprisingly good. When we are done, we wait half an hour and go again. We exchange numbers at the end of the evening.
Funny thing is that The Bitch does up f**king a fat chick, a chick who is like -3 points compared to him, maybe worse. The disparity between them is astounding to me. I would not f**k this girl under ANY normal circumstances. I guess he is desperate? It seems out of character, as I have in fact seen him with hot chicks. My other guess is that he has no game whatsoever, and as a result is dependent on online or being in this ecosystem. He takes from the ecosystem, but I don’t think he does enough to replenish it. Because of that taking and his inability to replenish, I think he has a desperate quality, a desperate edge, that probably further degrades his game.
I don’t want to knock him too much, as he has f**ked very hot chicks. But he also is not getting past his own psychology. He has a youthful vibe but is now I think in his mid-30s. The youthful glow is still there but going… and what will it be replaced with? For guys, the older you are, the more substantive you have to be, and I don’t think he’s making himself substantive. He might lack the intellect to become substantive. Maybe he has done too many drugs. I do think he is too reliant on chicks already in the scene.
Another word on Rope Guy. The guys who are rope experts, use it to get laid, and I admire it. The rope is foreplay for the chick. In the past I’ve made the mistake of hurrying too fast for the sex, and the rope forces the guy to slow down. For Rope Guy, the rope is the thing, so he has no incentive to hurry. Arguably, the opposite. But while chicks love rope, most of them don’t want to spend two hours or more being tied up. With most experiences, there is an “entry” point, a building sensation, a “high” peak, and then an eventual letdown. Sex is that way. If sex goes on too long for the chick or the dude, it doesn’t have quite the effect it should, as it is best to end at or near the high point. Same thing with rope.
Some rope guys also have very good Instagrams. I’m on the record disliking social media, but I get why guys who do it well, do it. Rope Guy has a good one that helps him with chicks who DM him. I have done some photography for him.
There was another party last night, on New Year’s Eve, and many of the same people were there, but Stephanie had work obligations. A shame. I am supposed to see her later today. In some ways, she just “fell” into my lap. In other ways, I was able to apply all that I have learned about the scene and the game into this one moment. On NYE, the party was less good from a girl perspective, but I liked being there.
I have expressed a lot of ambivalence about what I’ve been doing and how I want my life to be shaped. This story, however, like the Home Friend story, illustrates why I am reluctant to make a big change in life, in life direction. I f**ked a pretty girl in her 20s, had an incredible sexual experience with her, and had to do very little immediate work to get there. I have put in far more effort for far less reward many, many times.
I’m in this network, I’m even a central node in this network, and it is a very good place to be. I’ve done a ton of work to get here. Wednesday night is an example of that work bearing fruit. I have had many less-good nights in this world, by the way, so I don’t want to pretend that I’m some f**k stud laying out new hotties four nights a week. I’m not. But when the scene is good, it is very good. It’s also more fun than most vanilla parties. At vanilla parties, people stand around getting drunk and making stupid remarks. I don’t like getting drunk, and I’d rather skip some of the preliminaries and admit that everyone at the party is curious about what everyone else looks like, naked. Let’s get there and see what’s up. It’s more honest. People aren’t cloaking their intentions. I like that.