Ms. Slav flakes, Peaches, masculinity and polarity

Ms. Slav flaked on me earlier this week, sending me an elaborate message that I did not like, and I haven’t heard from her since. Like all people I don’t like flaking, and I really don’t like it an hour before we’re supposed to meet, as that prevents me from making alternate plans. I assume she’ll swing back around at some point, but who knows?

Cassie is drifting away, I think. I think I caught her early in her experience and she is refining what she wants. She may come to an event with me this weekend. Not counting on it.

Peaches told me some interesting things about her husband/marriage…

that are too specific to repeat, but they reinforce the basic ideas that 1) If you’re not f**king her properly and diligently, someone else will and 2) chicks love ambitious, accomplished dudes. Without getting into specifics, her husband seems to be moving from a sphere of great ambition and accomplishment to less ambition and accomplishment. For a woman, that is the equivalent of a chick getting fat. Guys don’t like it when their wives get fat, and chicks don’t like it when their guys lose their ambition.

In the manosphere, there are many supposed stories about evil, evil women ditching good, blameless guys. Some of the stories are true, I’m sure, but others are probably leaving out key details. Remember that we all have a narrative, and “Most people’s narratives leave some shit out. Whenever someone tells you some story, think about the dark matter of that story.” There are not many really evil people (or women) out there, and many of these one-sided stories are not as they seem.

Or, Peaches is just rationalizing her feelings. What she has said does make sense, though. I think she keeps getting involved with men who aren’t very masculine, setting herself for inevitable disappointment with grass-eating herbivores. Particularly when she runs into a guy like me. I’m not some macho Jocko Willink superman guy, but I have good masculine presence and polarity, which allows chicks to be feminine and submissive. This is particularly true in bed. Peaches said to me that she likes “Not having to decide what to do.” Something I have been told in the past, too.

Peaches is also a reminder that you should at least do a light check to see if married chicks or chicks in relationships are ready to cheat. Take enough shots, plausibly deniable shots depending on the circumstances, and you don’t know what you’ll find.

I have been meaning to get back in touch with Home Friend, the one who came via Ms. Slav, but I haven’t done so yet. I ought to.

I’ve been thinking about trying online dating again. I hold back because Peaches is holding up well. We went on a date with another woman, a unicorn, and f**ked her nicely. Can’t tell if the unicorn is going to stick around or not, but probably not, as I tried to get her out for a one-on-one unsuccessfully. I’m also not sure what I’m looking for, which isn’t good. Am I looking for more casual sex? Or am I looking to mostly exit that part of the game? I feel like I should clarify that question for myself. It is obviously possible to pursue casual sex while looking for something longer, but which side you prefer will shade your strategies and preferences.

In most areas, it also seems that online systems have a relatively small reservoir of good chicks in them. Big cities like NYC/LA may be the exception. Most cities smaller than that, it seems possible to exhaust the reservoir pretty quickly, and then need to wait a couple months for it to replenish. The best chicks log into online dating and find a guy pretty quickly.

I sometimes wonder if I know too much, now. With a lot of chicks, I feel like I spend weeks or months explaining how male-female relations actually work, why conventional marriage doesn’t work, what common relationship pitfalls are, how game theory works, etc. Books, talks, blah blah blah. Almost no chicks appear to know any of this. Most chicks seem to buy into the pop-culture idea of “love at first sight” (or pretty quickly) followed by happily ever after. No wonder we have the divorce rate we do. Pop culture reinforces pre-conceived notions about love at first sight, and then people try to do real-life relationships that way and go splat.

For Ms. Slav, not knowing any of this stuff is reasonable, because she is young and doesn’t know any better. For older women, not knowing any of this stuff is less acceptable but no less true. In the defense of women, it seems very few guys know this and tell women about it, either.