“Bang It Out With Paul Janka” podcast

Bang It Out With Paul Janka” hits many themes I’ve been hitting. You’ve also read about Paul Janka on Nash’s blog.

Some of the podcast is pretty obvious… like, if you want to be a player for your whole life, be a player for your whole life. If you want to have kids, go have kids. There is no right path for everybody.

I see the biggest problem being when young guys (or girls, realistically) try to commit to one woman too early, and without knowing enough about chicks, or when a young guy is totally blinded by lust and pleasure. Then he makes mistakes he pays for later. Janka, Francis, and Torero all says, correctly in my view, that a guy should not be thinking about any sort of long-term relationship before age 30, at the very earliest.

Before that age, he needs to be working on himself, his game, and his career. The first two are really the same thing.

Older guys, really starting in the mid-30s, can think about longer-term projects, like kids.

You will recognize many of the discussion topics if you’ve been reading this blog for a while. But my own desires and needs have been shifting somewhat over time. That seems not to be true of Torero or Francis, so they provide a good counterpoint.

In my own life, I’m still reluctant to give up the non-monogamous world I’ve been involved with for a long time. I have built up a system of sorts, and part of me wants to keep the machine going. Another part of me wants to let it fall apart. Yet I have spent so much time building it up, understanding its pieces, and making it work, that I don’t want to drop it, even though that may be the better path for me. Especially because it is wonderful in many ways but a TERRIBLE place for a medium- or long-term partner. The book may be a capstone for my experiences in the scene.

Author: The Red Quest

How can we live and be in society?

4 thoughts on ““Bang It Out With Paul Janka” podcast”

  1. The thing to take away from that interview as I see it (and yes, I did suffer through a TT production… complete with 3000 gay jokes per minute… that guy is trying to tell us something) is:

    Along with all his contributions to GAME, Janka’s POV as a father/husband is also rare and interesting. He says a lot of the same things that typical (aka weaker) men might say, but he sounds remarkably “clean” when he states his experience.

    There is nothing “beat down” about his experience of being in his relationship. That is showing something special about him.

    His comments about how much he appreciates the continuity with this wife, etc… his tone of voice is convincing. Not that *I* should get married, but that he truly in a spot he is enjoying… even after his 250 lays.

    He is a remarkable man.

    People always reduce his contributions because he is tall/good looking. That is to truly miss what is special about Paul. He is a radically smart, insightful, powerful man… even as he talks about what he likes about losing his freedom. He is clear and clean. He has his head up.

    We could all learn a lot about that guy. I highly recommend his products and his talks (some of which you can find on the internet).

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    1. I also notice that, at the end of the podcast, he mentions talking about literature with TT and TF. He’s probably not a skin-deep guy.

      I think there is a big difference between guys who CHOOSE to exit the game and do something else, versus guys who were never really in the game and default to monogamy/children out of fear, or because it is the default path. Janka seems to be an example of the CHOICE. And he is speaking from a position of authority, unlike most Twitter “TradCons,” etc.

      I think no guys should marry but that most guys should have kids. MOST, not ALL. You, reader, may be an exception, as I acknowledge before you leave a comment telling me that you are different. The current marriage contract is grossly unfair and inequitable. But kids are incredible life project.

      At some point I will write a comprehensive statement on this. Guys under age 30, really guys under age 35, should not be worried about this… they should be enjoying total hedonism and learning about how chicks work. It seems that most guys never learn how chicks work… then they try to have a long-term relationship with a chick… then they get burned (this was me too, by the way).

      For now, I want to use Janka as an example.

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  2. > I also notice that, at the end of the podcast, he mentions talking about literature
    > He’s probably not a skin-deep guy.

    I am very interested in how a man can come across, even in a brief talk, and telegraph the depth of his knowledge. Sometimes just one comment, and you know he is for real. Sometimes just a look. Very interesting to me.

    This “judging a man” is about being congruent with the truth. If a player can see what is true (preferably based on his own experiences – “a firsthander”), when he sees it in another man it should “feel congruent.” You know he is for real.

    Paul is that kind of guy, as I see it. I have listened to a lot of his material, and he is deep thinker… and yeah, one with a LOT of real life experience. He didn’t go “IOIs only,” and play “environmental game” plucking off low hanging fruit. He hunted. He was shamelessly aggressive, and had to use genuine seduction to have the life he had… turning a lot of maybes into yes. His understanding of female psych is very calibrated.

    > I think there is a big difference between guys who CHOOSE to exit the game and do something else, versus guys who were never really in the game and default to monogamy/children out of fear, or because it is the default path. Janka seems to be an example of the CHOICE. And he is speaking from a position of authority, unlike most Twitter “TradCons,” etc.

    Agree 100%.

    He is very much like Jimmy Jambone, I believe, in that he was mostly always sexually entitled and successful (from his self worth as much as his looks), so he didn’t have to fight to win. And he seemed, more than Jimmy even, to have really chosen family life. He wanted it. He was proactive about it… it’s not a concession.

    There was a talk with Yosha where Janka said part of the appeal was gone when his buddies settled down… that the lifestyle wasn’t as fun when it was just him. But beyond that, he is so clean in what he likes from it. He is a radical example of a man being purposeful about his sexuality.

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