“I Love My Boyfriend Dearly—but I’m Desperate to Have Sex With Other Men” is a “Don’t get married” classic. Notice that this woman’s plea for infidelity is also being published in a mainstream venue. Giving women permission and encouragement to cheat is now mainstream.
If a guy had written in with the same letter, he would be told that he needs to honorably control his libido. But since it’s a woman writing in, she’s told, “Our bodies have a way of deciding these things for us, even when we think we know better.”
I don’t think guys who get married deserve the financial and legal hellfire that rains on them when they divorce. But at this stage, a guy should really know what he’s signing up for when he is foolish enough to marry a woman.
Many people are attempting to make a lifelong commitment that they cannot or will not keep. Maybe we should all be a little more honest with ourselves.
Slate is running a lot of “Don’t get married” stories. “I Recoil When My Husband Tries to Touch Me” is another. When this woman divorces her husband, she’ll get half of the property he’s accumulated. In what world is that fair? Attention is the only weapon modern men have, and marriage takes it away and incentives the woman to eventually divorce him.
If you are a man and you marry a woman who makes less money than you, you are gambling with huge downside and virtually no upside.
In my view, there are only two kinds of relationships: relationships in which you plan to have children with a woman, and all other kinds of relationships. There are only two scenarios where I can kind of, sort of see the appeal of marrying:
- You want to have kids with a woman, but she won’t have kids with you unless you marry her first.
- You want to make sure a woman gets a green card / US citizenship, and marriage is a way to make that happen. Even then, you should go through the pre-nup process and orchestrate a pre-planned divorce sequence with her.
I still think the first strategy is high-risk for limited rewards, but I can at least see the rationale for it. But you still risk becoming the man she recoils from, or the guy sitting at home while she’s desperate to have sex with other men. Doesn’t seem like a good gamble to me.