Chicks know high-status guys aren’t going to wait around and pour attention into a chick without getting sex in return. If a guy is too needy and available, he will at best put himself in the friend zone and at worst turn her off altogether. This is why guys are told to work on volume and move to big cities… the best way to be suitably unavailable is to have other chicks you’re pursuing, so no single chick takes up too much of your mental time and attention. Genuinely busy guys need not play many games.
Two stories about this. A couple years ago, there is a chick I met through friends who was genuinely busy starting her own business and doing some other stuff… the attraction was there but the logistics were complicated. I stayed in loose contact with her, and, although there were lots of reasons we couldn’t meet at various points, she was consistently polite and responsive. She even apologized for sounding like a bitch. I didn’t get upset with her or anything like that… but I also kept texting fairly minimal.
It took something like three months of occasional contact to get her out (each time I quit texting, she would ping me again), and when I did we had like one or two drinks and then sex all night. She claimed she hadn’t had sex in a long time due to whatever else she had going on. Could be a lie, could be the truth, I don’t know and didn’t really care. It doesn’t matter much. For a while we were meeting, usually about once a week or so, to f**k and talk about business.
I met another girl via the non-monogamy scene, and almost exactly the same thing has been playing out (except I already f**ked her at a party that I was at w/ Ms. Slav… she had a boyfriend at the time, who did not do real well at the party… he did not have appropriate drugs with him, and I think she was more sexual than him in general). I am genuinely busy w/ Ms. Slav, among others, and she is learning some complex skills… she is texting consistently and is pretty direct w/ her schedule, limitations, etc., and a couple times worked for her but have not worked for me. I told her that I understand and have an intense job, other commitments, have been in her position, etc., and she seems to appreciate it.
To be sure this one might go nowhere… but investment so far has been pretty minimal on my end. But she seems fairly low bullshit, and what she says could be true. I’m primarily sticking to logistics… and she is responsive… so the investment is low and the payoff is reasonably high.
Some chicks play games, but others may authentically have a lot going on in their lives. Time sorts out who is who.
Don’t go too far with the ideas I’ve expressed here. Unless you are a famous or extremely good-looking man, as the man, you are the pursuer. You will need to put more work into an initial interaction with a woman than an attractive woman will need to put into you. There are poorly conceived memes out there like “be the prize” and “make her chase” that are fine to aspire to, but, in reality, most men pursue women and make sex and relationships happen. Women passively accept or decline offers. Expecting a woman to do more than that is setting yourself up for failure. The right place to reduce or increase “attention” for a given woman is going to vary by situation. The nuances of a given situation often argue for individual coaching, which I don’t offer, but the link goes to a guy who does.
With logistics, I also like consolidating almost all texting into one or two shots per day. This allows me to focus on other projects the rest of the time. I notice more and more that younger colleagues have trouble concentrating and spend 3x as long as they should on a given task. I have been handing out copies of Deep Work, to explain to them what they need to do. It is scary easy to let hours and days ago by and not realize what you’ve been doing that whole time. Maybe this is also why so few game writers age 20 – 30 seem to exist (where are you???)… too busy drowning in social media?
2 thoughts on “Chicks know high-status guys aren’t going to wait around”
Like the text batching idea. I tend to do this as well, with reminders to do it during the best times of the week (Mon/Tues mid-day for pinging warm leads, etc).
Completely agree that girls know when you’re high status not to mess around. But at the same time it’s your behaviors as the man that drive the response. So if you’re non-needy and don’t give much attention unless she’s compliant and gives sex, she will see you as high value.
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OK, so agree/disagree.
Yes–women definitely get it eventually. This is why some of them zombie (when a dead lead comes back to life) after a period of time. Because they realize that you’re a high quality guy and they’ve come to the realization that those are rare.
On the other hand, a lot of young women are just too dumb/inexperienced to come to this realization, and since almost any guy will fuck them, they can be flippant about hooking up, flaking, ghosting, etc.
A perfect example of all of this happened to me recently, starting this summer and culminating last weekend. So I meet this girl at the bar where she works, cold approach, and she says she’s off in a half hour, then comes to sit with me. We exchange numbers, agree to go out, and I take off.
Then surprise, surprise (my game was not as polished as it is at this point to be fair): she flakes on the date. But to my credit I play it cool and don’t freak out. However, we still are following each other on Insta. Anyway, she goes out of town (classic thot type girl, traveling all the time and no doubt sampling the dick everywhere she goes–no judgment, that’s just the fact) and drops off my radar as I’m pursuing other leads.
But two weeks ago she posts a pic on Insta, saying she’ll be in my town, and I make the comment (she’s in a sleeveless dress) that she has lovely shoulders. Next thing I know she’s DMing me and wants to hang out while she’s in town. Long story short we go out for drinks last Friday, bounce back to my place, and fuck like rabbits. She’s flies back out of town Sunday, but emails me a super long message that she really likes me and wants to see me the next time she’s in town and hang out during the summer when she’s working here again.
My guess as to why is that she initially blew me off because she was having sex with other guys and not worried about flaking, but then realized I was offering her something that was rare in the interim, I delivered on the promise, and now she knows that if she blows me off, I’m just going to go on fucking other girls, so if she wants her place in the rotation, she has to be cool…
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