As a university freshman I had a “friend,” we’ll call her Kate, who had a boyfriend at another school out-of-state. She talked about him quite a bit while sober… then would get drunk and become the dorm/school bicycle. If I remember correctly, my roommate had a ride pretty early on.
One night she knocked on my door late at night and came in crying because she’d f**ked some guy who apparently only lasted a minute, then she saw him kissing another girl later that night. She ran up to him, slapped him, and ran away. You may be thinking, “This is just another crazy chick,” but apart from that and some of her sex habits, she seemed pretty normal. She got into bed with me and eventually finished up crying. She was wearing sweatpants and a tank top or something like that.
As the conversation petered out, I was trying to decide if I should try to f**k her or not… and I decided not to. Or I was too scared to. I think I didn’t go for her more because of the residual boyfriend guilt than anything else. So there was this super-available, pretty girl… and I didn’t hit it.
But Kate’s madness was an early reference experience that clued me into the idea that what I saw on society’s surface, was (is) different than what’s actually going on. Knowing what I know today, of course the obvious thing is to bend her over, rail her (protected!), and then send her on her way, or just kick her out and tell her to find another orbiter to cry on, but I was not so advanced then. Thinking of myself, then vs. now, is also why I’m willing to entertain and respond to more newbie questions than some guys will… myself at that age did not have the comprehension that I do now. I also didn’t understand that lots of chicks will cheat and for that reason it’s fine to take shots at married chicks or women with boyfriends. If she is going to cheat, I want to let her cheat with me!
At the end of her first year, Kate transferred to her boyfriend’s college… and then broke up with him! This is one of the many reference experiences that can be distilled into the macro point that chicks are random. (See also.) In my younger life I spent a lot of time and mental energy trying to logic out chicks’s behaviors, and it took an embarrassingly long time to reach the “chicks are random” conclusion that most players eventually find. Trying to be overly analytical about an individual chick is foolish. Across many chicks, you can discern patterns, but a single chick is likely to be a random collection of impulses that she doesn’t understand, let alone you. Often if you try to probe for the logic behind a chick’s actions, you’ll get total nonsense, and if you probe too hard, the chick will just get angry. “Why don’t guys just get it?” she thinks. She knows that what she feels in the moment is reality, so guys should understand that too.
Right after college, Kate moved back to my city and I made the mistake of inviting her to a fairly formal party. We went and I tried to bang her after. She still looked good, although less good than she had at age 18/19, but she wouldn’t let me bang her. I was disappointed and still had some residual of the mindset that since we’d had a fancy “date,” we should f**k at the end. Obviously, experienced players know that’s a stupid mindset. She had yet another boyfriend who was supposed to move to our city in a couple months.
After that night, I stopped contacting her, although she kept contacting me for a couple weeks after. I had learned enough to give up on chicks I wanted to bang, but who weren’t going to bang me. I think she saw me as soft and safe (she was somewhat correct about that at the time) and I didn’t want to be in that frame.
So Kate. At some point we were Facebook friends, and we may have done some chatting on Facebook like 10 years ago, but I just tried to look her up to see what she’s like today and discovered she must have unfriended me. That is okay with me, because I can’t imagine having anything to say to her today, but I remember her because of how f**king puzzled I was as a freshman just learning how chicks really work.
The Red Quest 
“I also didn’t understand that lots of chicks will cheat and for that reason it’s fine to take shots at married chicks or women with boyfriends. If she is going to cheat, I want to let her cheat with me!”
This is a belief I’ve come to as well, but I have more trouble escalating/gaming these girls–which I suppose is to be expected given the guilt she’ll feel after–they feel like they have to tell me, but once they tell me, it’s like they can’t get over the guilt, even though I’m quite clear that I don’t care… I wonder if pretending as if the other guy doesn’t exist, like teasing that he’s imaginary would work, or assuming a narrative/story? (btw if you guys haven’t, you should try this: basically role playing. You give her and yourself a role to play during the date, and the story you tell leads to… surprise, surprise–sex)
As to the moral question, it’s basically a tragedy of the commons. Hypothetically speaking, if all men refused to have sex with women in a relationship, cheating would not be possible. Unfortunately, as we all know, a woman could lie, and in any case, men are thirsty AF for sex. Long story short: if a woman wants to cheat, she’ll have no difficulty in doing it. And as you say RQ, she might as well do it with me.
However, guys, you need to understand that you shouldn’t ever mention this to anyone unless you’re certain he’s red-pilled AND experienced at pick-up and seduction. Because people get PISSED about this stuff. This one fact–that women want to and do regularly cheat–blows the lid off everything blue pill society wants us to believe about sex and relationships.
It’s also another reason to ignore the whole, “I have a BF” shit test. OK–she might. The player doesn’t give a fuck, and if she does and is looking to cheat, she doesn’t want to do it with a guy who cares about that fact.
I’ve also thought a lot about the fact that this very shit test is an easy way for women to sort guys into alpha and beta–or between top/hot guy and dateable (per the Nash blog–I’d link to it but my browser won’t let me). As we know, the beta gives up, both because he lacks the game to surpass the test, but also because he believes it’s immoral to go after another guy’s girl. Alpha 1) doesn’t care or want to be her BF, and 2) understands the above (or again, doesn’t care) which brings us back to the point at hand about women cheating. So when a girl puts that out there, she’s essentially asking a question: are you going to give me lover sex, or are you the provider type?
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I’ve learned over time to escalate… if it’s not me, it’ll be with someone else.
I’m not sure most feel real guilt.
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I made out with a married woman at a dance event who practically threw herself in my way. I did notice, though, that the infidelity bubble burst when the husband kept calling and texting … so she backed off from coming back to mine.
I took a photo of an amorous young couple at a music jam. The girl was eye fucking me through the camera. Later, when I posted it on Instagram, the bubble burst and she realised how much sexual instinct was in that photo. She wrote to me asking about the other “natural” photos where she was looking at her partner. I later propositioned her by text and she rejected me as she has a “partner”. I pity the partner and his Miss Eye Fuck girlfriend.
I think cheating operates in a “seduction bubble” and many women relent once their forebrain reactivates and lays out the risks involved. Until then, these women are fair game.
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I’ve learned over time to escalate… if it’s not me, it’ll be with someone else.
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