Status/coolness first, THEN evangelize for whatever the thing is

No one listens to or wants to follow losers: that’s the fundamental rule of life and “What are your rules for talking about RP concepts?” Many guys online seem to want to talk about anti-social Red Pill jargon without working on themselves first, which is a mistake, but it’s also a class of mistake more generally: no one listens to someone they think is lower status than themselves.

(One good thing about science as a practice and system is that it forces higher-status, eminent people to listen who lower-status, not-eminent people if the latter are right and the former wrong. Business can also function that way, because a business composed of high-status, wrong people will fail. A business startup that has low-status, correct people will see the low-status people rise in status until they replace the existing high-status group, then the process repeats as consumer tastes change and businesses ossify. Government fails because real-world feedback loops are much weaker.)

I’ve been fairly successful at getting chicks into the non-monogamy scene for a bunch of reasons, but a big one is because I’ve worked on myself first. While I’m not some super cool guy like a professional actor, I have my shit together and can be pretty direct with chicks. Chicks can tell that if they pass on me, I can and will find another one… many guys can’t and won’t. Many chicks still say no, that’s fine, that’s their prerogative, but chicks are intrigued by guys who want but don’t need them. I don’t get rattled much by chicks and their natural drama, so I can usually bring them into my frame and introduce the ideas around non-monogamy that I’ve been writing about in posts and the free book.

We can see from history that the effect you have will depend on who you are: in the Civil Rights movement, for example, black leaders realized they needed the symbols of their movement to have huge, supernormal amounts of dignity. Basic people with basic flaws weren’t sufficient: anyone involved in leading the movement needed to be highly dignified, and ideally very Christian, to counteract the narrative that some kinds of humans are more human than other kinds of humans, or that some kinds of humans are more like animals than other kinds of humans. So people like Martin Luther King Jr. and Rosa Parks were elevated, because both projected a strong sense of dignity, humanity, and righteousness (King’s love of p***y wasn’t widely known then… if it had been, he would have been a bad choice, despite his rhetorical excellence). The Civil Rights movement aligned itself with the dominant religious factions of its day.

This is true of any kind of movement, sales pitch, etc. Salesmen are most often tall, good looking, act empathetic, and speak well because they need to project social savvy, to be the kind of person other people want to affiliate with or associate with. I’m not a natural salesman, by the way. One of Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power is, “Win Through Your Actions – Never Through Argument.” In science and engineering, you win through argument and math. In human matters, you win through feelings, and that might be why a lot of digital male thinkers don’t do well with the hottest female analogue thinkers. Men are more likely to attempt to learn what is right and true based on science, facts, and logic, while chicks are more likely to believe what is right based on feelings, and these incompatible world systems create a lot of bad feelings (the female love of feelings is why shit like astrology and tarot appeals so much to chicks, and why so few chicks become scientists and engineers).

“Status first, evangelize later” is also why I have been talking about game as 1) having value, 2) value delivery mechanism, and 3) (Magnum emphasizes this) location / environment. All three variables matter, probably in that order. If you are missing the first one, #2 won’t matter and even #3 will be less useful.

So many guys say they try to tell their friends about The Red Pill… they don’t understand that they have to be cool first, THEN maybe talk. “Cool” is the high school or college word for “value” or “status.” Guys can’t go the other way around: if they are not cool, they alienate themselves further, and a lot of guys in RP, seduction, etc. seem to be very alienated and disconnected to begin with.

Cool / status are kinda hard to define, but we know them when we see them. Part of game is learning cool / high-status behaviors and them implementing them. Cool / status can also mean different things in different places, at different jobs and different situations. Some guys can have amazing status at their intellectual jobs, then go to a wedding or a party weekend and none of the hot chicks give a shit about how the guy implemented a TPS report system that saves the company a million dollars a year. The next week, the fun wedding party guy might be depressed because he can’t get a job and most chicks who have a real job will not date guys without one.

Any individual has a set number of “weirdness points” and they should be spent carefully. The cooler you are, the more weirdness points you get. Most guys get very few weirdness points and blow them by talking about Red Pill jargon, etc. If you are a guy who is successful with women, other guys will want to learn about what you’re doing… the same as guys admire the captains of sports teams, the best programmer in the company, etc. If you’re not seen as good with women, no one gives a f**k.

This is on my mind right now because of something I realized about Ms. Slav and her relationship to some of my psychological struggles (more on that in another post, if you want to listen to my moronic bleating about interior state). Her and I together might be able to accomplish things in non-monogamy with her that are larger than the ones I can accomplish on my own… but, simultaneously, I’m no longer sure I want to do that, so I feel pulled in multiple directions and am unsure of myself, at a macro level… a pretty unusual situation for me.

For the last ten years, I have often been unsure at a micro level, when I ask myself, “Should I try to date this chick or that chick on Wednesday?” or “should I text her now, or wait till tonight?” Basic game questions. On a macro level, my goal has consistently been, “Bang more hot chicks.” Now my macro is unsettled, and that may be feeding back into my micro. Aligned micro-macro lead to optimal psychology.

You see misaligned psychology more frequently in chicks, when a chick is like, “I want a boyfriend! I want to get married” but she is also f**king randoms from online, hooking up with her ex, and otherwise engaging in behaviors incompatible with boyfriend/marriage. Most younger chicks, being illogical, hate it when you point out that her behaviors are not compatible with her statements. I have some of that going on right now too, but I am trying to work this out… my own psychology is misaligned and I know it.

It’s because Ms. Slav is very unusual that I have written so much about her. I think I wrote that previously, but based on some feedback I’ve been getting, I want to mention it here: don’t take Ms. Slav as typical of the non-monogamy scene. She is not, at all. She has unusual psychology and is also abnormally young and hot. But she is the reason why some guys will stay in it… they occasionally get lucky when very unusual girls like her come along, who are willing to f**k guys they really shouldn’t.

“Low-cut top girl,” opening off an IOI on the way to the gym [FR]

Friday night, relatively late, I’m jogging to the gym and catch a MASSIVE IOI off this chick as she is crossing the street perpendicular to me. I have a strange thought, as I imagine the game guys I read and what they would do… and the thought makes me I realize I have to open. My mood is pretty good too, so I stop to say she must be going to a party. She’s in a very low-cut top and figure-hugging camel-colored bottoms, from what I can see, but the time between eye lock and me chatting her up I don’t see much of her body because I’m concentrating on other matters. Out eye contact barely breaks. She says yes, she is, and I speculate about the difference between good parties and obligatory parties that you feel like you have to go to. We continue in this vein a bit; I’m wearing a necklace from Studebaker metals (some cheaper alternatives here), which she asks me about. So she’s not too daft to reciprocate. Some chicks, even if they basically like you, will be incoherent during the stop, because the situation is so foreign to them. This one is a bit more put together, or she’s going to a party so she’s in socializing mode. We chat a bit about a perfect party and I tell her I have a date with the gym. We talk about the gym for a minute. I get out my notebook and tell her to put her name and number in it.

She’s surprised by the notebook thing, so we talk about that a bit, and I tell her about leaving my phone at home as that is a better way to experience the world (also something true… the younger the chick, the less they get this idea, except for Ms. Slav… the higher IQ, more self-aware chicks often understand this and have a love-hate relationship with their smartphones).

Saturday morning I text Low-cut top girl, asking if her night led to all the things she could have possibly wanted, and she replied saying it was okay and asking about mine. I said that quality time spent with my mistress the squat rack is always a lovely evening (not strictly speaking true, due to injury, but I would like it to be true), and I probe for the rest of her weekend plans. She says she is planning to be a cat lady that night, and asks what I’m doing. I tell her (truthfully) that I’m going to a party, without elaborating. She says that sounds like lots of fun… is she seeking an invitation? I think so, but I tell her we should get a drink Sunday night, early, as I have work in the morning. She agrees and I set my usual first date venue. I text her a pic of a cat and say that I know it’s a little early to be sending pussy pics, but she’s a cat lady so I just can’t resist. She sends laughing emojis and sends me one of “her pussy” (cat) in return. The comment is probably more forward than I should be so early in the interaction, at least by optimal game standards, but I kind of don’t give a f**k.

Saturday night, Ms. Slav and I go to the party… we cause a scene (she causes a scene) in the best way possible, as we set the tone of the evening fairly early. Then she dominates, then f**ks, another girl after our first hour-long adventure. Fairly late at the party, Cassie shows up, and we have a bit of a threesome… more more realistically, Ms. Slav and I take turns on Cassie, who is unfortunately not excited to go down on other chicks. Ms. Slav seems disappointed/annoyed that I finish (in a condom) in Cassie, but what can I say, I want to spread the love. She said she has no jealousy… but she hasn’t told me that lately, so I wonder if she just doesn’t experience jealousy in the way normal people do, but the right set of circumstances can still trigger jealousy in her. She wanted to stay extremely late and I wanted to go home after the recovery period with me, Ms. Slav, and Cassie, and I told Ms. Slav she is welcome to stay, but she decides to come back with me.

Sunday I get up pretty early and see Ms. Slav off. In the afternoon I text Low cut top girl that I hope she enjoyed being a cat lady and that I’ll see her in a few hours; she confirms and asks me about the party, but I say we can talk in person.

In person, she is not wearing the same shirt as I expected/hoped for, as she’s quite a bit more demure (bad sign), but her clothes hug her body. I did a good job not staring at her chest on the street, and I’m kind of wondering whether she actually has a nice body or not… she might, but I was focused enough on eye contact and conversation that I couldn’t really tell. I have had girls go both ways, when getting naked… where I suddenly realize that girl is hiding an incredible body under her clothes, and other times when I realize a girl is hiding a… not incredible body. Varies so much by girl that I’ve learned to distrust my own predictions.

We talk about technology and how I think social media is pretty worthless, while she defends it (typical girl), but not too much. She is a vegetarian, and I don’t share that I have a theory that vegetarian girls are more sexually active and adventurous than regular girls. Probably just me generalizing from too small a sample size. She also has an unusual and more-interesting-than-expected job. I ask questions about her dreams / fantasies / etc. Hold hands and look in each other’s eyes for 60 seconds. The usual. It’s flowing well, and she happily agrees to drink #2 at bar #2.

Between bars I playfully push her against a wall and kiss her passionately. She responds, and I let her go before she is done. She is a bit confused, I think, that I’ve ended it so quickly. Kissing on the street is something of a secret society no-no, as it opens the girl up to slut-shaming… but it’s a move I like to pull anyway.

Conversation is stilted for the rest of the walk to bar #2, I think because she wasn’t expecting the kiss and hasn’t recovered from it well. At the bar we recover some. It feels very on. She’s quite eager to know my age and I tell her to guess… her guess is comically low. She pushes and I tell her ages, weights, and heights are very private information, just between me and Facebook and the CIA. Maybe too evasive. She tells me she’s gotten out of a five-year relationship recently and is trying to recover herself. I don’t engage too much with this beyond telling her I understand (undrestand what? Fuck if I know… fortunately, she doesn’t ask, like most girls don’t).

I invite her back for a drink and she goes for it. More chitchat about our lives. We go back to mine and she prowls around like a cat for a while. She spends a long time in the bathroom, doing whatever it is chicks do in there, so I figure it’s good to go. She comes out and wants to sit across from me but I pat the couch and tell her I can hear her better over near me. A little bit of kissing resistance at first, until I find the sweet spots on her neck, which make her gasp and moan and took away the resistance. She says she’s getting over her period (fine, whatever… maybe she wasn’t going out for sex Friday night after all?), and I tell her that’s okay, we can find things to do. She is amenable. I leave for the bathroom and take a small amount of man drug: after being drained by Ms. Slav and Cassie, I’m not sure I can perform adequately. Actually, I don’t think I can, but I would rather keep the momentum going forward with Low-cut top girl than let it die out, and that is just what I am doing.

More making out, then to the bedroom. When I get her naked, her best bits flop down more than I’d like, and I drop her from a curvy high 7 to a high 6 / low 7. With a butt that big I have to smack it, and she loves it. I wonder when the girl was last f**ked properly because she is way more responsive than I deserve. I use my fingers inside her and direct her fingers to her clit, letting her get off for the first time. Very tiny amount of blood on my fingers. She goes down on me, and then I put on a condom and manage to f**k her.

She kept praising my body and telling me how hot I am… I’m not that hot, though I do lift and avoid sugar. Unfortunately, injury keeps limiting me from reaching the places I’d like to go in the gym. Zero sugar, gym, yoga, bike for transit… those things do add up. As usual, with a new chick for the first time I don’t last as long as I’d like, but it seems good. I use my fingers on her and she comes another time.

In the aftermath, she asks me about the baby wipes in the bathroom… I ask if she appreciated that they’re there… she said yes and wanted to know how I often I do this… I tell her I’m a courteous person (that may even be true). I probably let too much time pass, with the deep kissing and light chatting, but I feel totally drained, sexually.

Second time through, we’re kissing… leads to rubbing… as I’m getting hard, I “innocently” slip inside, though she knows what’s going on… this gets me totally going. Highly satisfying session. Before you comment, yes, I know it’s a stupid thing to do, and I do it anyway. She again tells me I’m hot, and I spit out, “Was your ex a fatass or something?” She says yes!

That’s a kind of high-risk question, because it’ll turn some chicks off… this one didn’t seem to mind. I bend her over, grab her hair, and direct one hand to her clit (why are chicks too dumb to do this automatically) and pound her thoroughly… a few minutes in, and I’m rather congratulating myself on a job well done. It’s quite hard for me to finish, as I’m tired from round one and the night before, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to, but with great effort and concentration, I manage. She’s flushed, practically gasping for air, and we snuggle for a while after. I ask her when she knew she was going to f**k me, and she said in the first bar she was thinking about it.

During and right after sex, chicks, and likely guys too, although I don’t know about that so much, will say the most honest shit, the shit they will censor out the rest of the time.

She said she thought it was so cool that I stopped her to chat her up on Friday and that non-creepy guys never do that. I ask her about what a creepy guy is and she couldn’t really say, but I think she was trying to get at guys who are near-homeless, or ghetto/lower-class seeming. I tell her that most men don’t know how to be men anymore and that it’s sad (a conversation topic I learned from all you guys on Twitter and in blogs, so thanks for that, as it’s a good one post-sex). She agrees. More chitchat, I invite her to stay over but she has to wake up early. I drink a ton of water and take ibuprofen, knowing that I’ve likely dehydrated myself from drink and general exertion. I don’t get the sense of overall accomplishment that I used to, though… I think my mind is whispering, “Get ouf of the game,” but my body/dick is whispering, “Not yet… not yet…”

I have been wondering, am I scared to leave the game? Do I want to do that, but lack the courage to execute that decision? Typically, the wannabe and novice player regards fear and courage around opening chicks, escalating chicks, willingness to leave bad chicks, etc. I wonder if I am experiencing a different, (atypical) form of cowardice, in that I want to exit but don’t want to give up the systems and practices I have been building so long. It’s a weird thought, and one that just popped into my head yesterday. It now seems very lodged there. I was so surprised by it that I wrote it down, though I did not need to, as it has been uncomfortably in my mind since.

Let me get back on track: I’m supposed to see Ms. Slav again on Tuesday, so I’m going to try and have Low-cut top girl for Wednesday. I need more of a break, but, momentum. I’m flogging myself forward. Maybe I will flake on Ms. Slav, and push her to Thursday or Friday. Friday probably won’t work for me, though.

The big learning from this is just “Be alert.” This was a “head is up” opportunity and I wasn’t really thinking about meeting women… but I didn’t want to leave behind an IOI so big from an attractive woman. The other day I was getting coffee with a guy in the game (hi!) and he said I got a massive IOI from a chick. I was like, “Were there any attractive chicks there?” Mentally I was like, “Did I miss one?” He said no but that he noticed it anyway. With this girl, it was just right girl, right place, right time.

I have also done some approaches like this one that go badly, or the girl has a boyfriend or whatever… pretty easy sex is not a typical outcome. But I don’t usually post about basic rejections because there is nothing to be learned from them, apart from the fact that they happen.

Chicks like Low-cut top girl are also why my cold-approach pickup skills aren’t that great… I get good enough results from the occasional randoms, like this one, as well as ecosystems and other sources, that I don’t feel much need to get properly good.

Good thing I am working from home today, as I feel like I need the time to recover. I’m going to lose Peaches if I don’t manage to get more space in the rotation for her.

What is it Nash likes to say? Viva game.

Updated the book with proper headers

I looked at the book so many times before I published it that I didn’t realize none of the headers appeared. I’ve now fixed it, so the text should flow better due to the headers being included. There are some other minor fixes and clarifications as well. If you have a previous version, you should delete it and take up the new version.

The positive, light-side frame, not the negative, dark-side frame

This turned into a non-actionable ramble, but it is a fundamental statement of my views and psychology… it emerged in response to this Nash comment, so if you want to understand the context, check that first.

In the RP and seduction communities, I get the sense that some guys (maybe most?) are kind of cold/damaged. They’ve failed too many times and are seeking revenge, or seeking to “get a free one” off chicks. Or to get a chick in the inferior position, so that HE has the power (for once) and will get to feel what it’s like to have arbitrary power over another person. None of those are good primary frames, in my view, even if they can be attractive at times.

I actually try to cultivate kindness… BUT not being “nice” or weak. I’m very keen on reciprocity as a fundamental part of the human experience, and I’m cagey about people trying to steal value. I don’t think I’m “nice.” I will be very angry if someone tries to use me, or get one over on me, although in the modern world that means “withdraw attention” is usually the only option.

BUT. We are also stuck on this planet together, and I would like to make the world a better place. I really do believe game makes the world a better place, as chicks want to be seduced by competent guys and of course guys want to seduce hot chicks. There are some ways that our biologies have caused incentives to be mismatched between guys and chicks. To fail to acknowledge that would be stupid. Within that context, however, I try to create “win-win” wherever possible, while also acknowledging that, of course, sometimes it is not possible to do “win-win.” I try to find chicks who want to do the same thing.

“Win-win” means trying to make sure the chick has the opportunity to get off. It means holding her after. Even in group sex situations, it is common to hold the chick after… she has had an intense experience, and needs to be helped down from it. It means that I usually have some food around, so we can have a snack. Most chicks are too dumb or self-centered to do these things, but some are self-aware enough to do them. A lot of chicks report most guys are not doing this stuff. Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s a factor of chicks trying to get guys +1 or +2 SMV compared to them, and then they get what they give.

I don’t like the view, even if it’s purely psychological, that the goal of seduction is to get one over on the chick, or to punish the chick for all the times a chick has been a bitch to the guy. A guy should protect his value from chicks (or anyone) who will take it… but he should also try to be generous where and when possible. Especially in low-cost, high-value situations. Like holding a chick after he’s f**ked her. Simple thing that will make her experience much better.

Or invite chicks to the gym… to read a book he thinks is good… etc. It’s both good for the chick and also gives you information about her. A basic, lazy ignorant chick is probably only good for one thing, and she can be mentally put into that one-thing bucket. A highly responsive chick might be good for other things. When you find a chick who also wants to make the world a better place, that is valuable information. When you find a chick who wants to wants to watch TV, eat junk food, and complain… that is also valuable information. Obviously there are many gradations between the two.

Many guys, I sense, never get to the stage where they are seriously evaluating the chick, and discarding the chicks who aren’t any good. So if they struggle and struggle, then get to the stage where they have choice… they are sometimes tempted to be mean to the chick. Experienced guys learn that is very rarely good. Most of the time, simple disconnection is the right response to mean, bad, lazy, or stupid chicks. Trying to be mean in return… is rarely a good idea. Sometimes it might be. But very rarely.

I sense that a lot of guys in pickup, seduction, RP (distinct communities at times, but I will put them together my purposes now) want to present a bravado front… look at me, the great player/wizard, with all these chicks before me… I can treat them like dirt, or at least not very well, and they still come back for me… and if she doesn’t come back for more, BEHOLD!, for she will be replaced by another chick, for I am the great player/wizard of seduction, ready to replace that chick.

OF COURSE, sometimes a chick should be replaced. Of course, a guy is only as good as his options. Of course, a guy should be seeking new leads if his plate is not totally full. BUT, he should also try to improve the lives of the chicks he’s f**king, if he can, to the extent he can, while making sure that he only acts in ways that the chick merits. If he senses even for a moment that the chick is using him, or is withdrawing because of his generative nature… then he must pull back.

Top chicks, especially top chicks who are mentally sound, will respond will to a generative person. F**ked up chicks may respond less well. But I want more mentally sound chicks in my life, and fewer messes. You get what you give… there are some exceptions to that principle, but over time and over many scenarios, it plays out.

Nothing is perfect, and I have misjudged chicks and situations before. But I still want my basic frame and mode of being in the world to be positive and to be building new and good things. That can be executed in many different ways… with a chick you’ve just f**ked, though, it usually means you should hold her after. People want to connect with each other. In some ways, we have a very “cold” society in which we’re heavily disconnected. I like game because it creates the connections people yearn for but often don’t know how to make for themselves, anymore.

Enough ramble… I could keep going. I think the basic idea is here, though. If guys want to see more of my not-immediately-actionable ramble posts, there is a tag for them.

Martin Gurri on the public revolt and the rise of information networks

I said that “You are part of ‘The Revolt of The Public and the Crisis of Authority in the New Millennium.’” Now the author of that book, Martin Gurri, has a good 80000 hours podcast elaborating on the book’s themes.

I am still amazed that, when it comes to seducing women (one of the most important skills a man can develop), random guys with stupid pseudonyms like mine are more useful authorities that pretty much anything you learn in school or anything you read in bookstores or see on TV. In this field, in human relations, the guys linked in the sidebar are 100x more useful than the New York Times. Crazy, right?

When it comes to sexual polarity and men/women, most guys learn neutral or outright dysfunctional skills from their families, friends, schools, and social worlds. We have to learn on our own or from a small cadre of outsiders.

Multiply that basic idea across 1000s of worlds and you get to the revolt of the public. Our politics and public life still haven’t recovered or reconfigured to the Twitter/Facebook world.

“The Intern Who Doesn’t Have Time for Real Dates”

The Intern Who Doesn’t Have Time for Real Dates” is a story about a dumb girl… she is trying to get a job in a dying industry, or an industry shrinking, if not to the point of death, then substantially along the way to death. How’s she going to make it? By subsidizing her earrings with sex work. Smart girls, they do not try to become journalists: “I just graduated from college and moved to New York for an editorial internship. It’s my dream magazine internship, but I landed it just a little too late. Student loans are going to kick in soon. I need a real job. And a sugar daddy” Smart girls don’t try this in 2018. Or 2019. Smart girls get jobs in real industries.

So she is being a sex worker. For the player, I see this:

I make plans to meet up with another guy from Seeking Arrangement on Wednesday after work. JP is young, only 36, which makes me nervous. I don’t trust the ones under 40. They usually try to just use the app like Tinder. But JP agrees to $600 per meet, which seems to be the going rate.

as interesting. Does Seeking Arrangements work like Tinder? I would have assumed, “No.”

Also, $600 per meet seems crazy. Are guys really willing to pay that much?

She is simultaneously doing regular online dating and sex work. Is this normal, now? I think not. I could be wrong. I think there is something wrong with this girl:

M gives me $700 in cash. Before I leave he asks if I want a hug. To my surprise, I do. He is still fully naked, but there is nothing sexual in his embrace. Hugging this stranger, crying, I realize I don’t remember the last time I was held.

Guys should hold the chick after sex, in my view. Even for one-nighters. Most chicks need it. It will be a better experience for both of you, if you do this, even if you’re tired, even if you’re not that into the chick.

(If she is mean, cruel, or something else seriously wrong with her… a guy doesn’t need to do this… but it’s a good idea to figure that out BEFORE you f**k her.)

This chick is likely going to need to make some serious life alterations. A girl with a messed-up work life typically has a mess-up real life too—past a certain age, anyway. She is 21, so wanting to be in media is okay because she is so young. By 24/25, though, she should be in a more intelligent job situation:

News of media-industry layoffs keeps breaking. The reality that I am taking massive risks to enter an industry that regularly fucks over even established, talented professionals is getting harder to ignore.

That, honey, is the sound of the market telling you to go get another job. Doesn’t matter how much you want this one.

Chicks know high-status guys aren’t going to wait around

Chicks know high-status guys aren’t going to wait around and pour attention into the chick without getting sex in return. If a guy is too needy and available, he will at best put himself in the friend zone and at worst turn her off altogether. This is why guys are told to work on volume and move to big cities… the best way to be suitably unavailable is to have other chicks you’re pursuing, so no single chick takes up too much of your mental time and attention. You need not play many games if you are genuinely a busy guy.

Two stories about this. A couple years ago, there is a chick I met through friends who was genuinely busy starting her own business and doing some other stuff… the attraction was there but the logistics were complicated. I stayed in loose contact with her, and, although there were lots of reasons we couldn’t meet at various points, she was consistently polite and responsive. She even apologized for sounding like a bitch. I didn’t get upset with her or anything like that… but I also kept texting fairly minimal.

It took something like three months of occasional contact to get her out (each time I quit texting, she would ping me again), and when I did we had like one or two drinks and then sex all night. She claimed she hadn’t had sex in a long time due to whatever else she had going on. Could be a lie, could be the truth, I don’t know and didn’t really care. It doesn’t matter much. For a while we were meeting, usually about once a week or so, to f**k and talk about business.

There is another girl, just like this one, who I met via the non-monogamy scene, and almost exactly the same thing has been playing out (except I already f**ked her at a party that I was w/ Ms. Slav… she had a boyfriend at the time, who did not do real well at the party… he did not have appropriate drugs with him, and I think she was more sexual than him in general). I am genuinely busy w/ Ms. Slav, among others, and she is learning some complex skills… she is texting consistently and is pretty direct w/ her schedule, limitations, etc., and a couple times worked for her but have not worked for me. I told her that I understand and have an intense job, other commitments, have been in her position, etc., and she seems to appreciate it.

To be sure this one might go nowhere… but investment so far has been pretty minimal on my end. But she seems fairly low bullshit, and what she says could be true. I’m primarily sticking to logistics… and she is responsive… so the investment is low and the payoff is reasonably high.

Some chicks play games, but others may authentically have a lot going on in their lives. Time sorts out who is who.

With logistics, I also like consolidating almost all texting into one or two shots per day. This allows me to focus on other projects the rest of the time. I notice more and more that younger colleagues have trouble concentrating and spend 3x as long as they should on a given task. I have been handing out copies of Deep Work, to explain to them what they need to do. It is scary easy to let hours and days ago by and not realize what you’ve been doing that whole time. Maybe this is also why so few game writers age 20 – 30 seem to exist (where are you???)… too busy drowning in social media?