When girls shift from pure party mode to preferring guys with resources

This is an excerpt from a longer post about the Red Pill and kids, but I observe that a lot of chicks shift from being all about the party and the hottttttest guys to having a more balanced perspective on raw animal attraction versus resources when the chick herself shifts to being financially self-sufficient, paying her own rent and taxes, etc.

Many younger chicks are being subsidized by the state or their parents, so money is just one of these things that someone else is taking care of (usually their dads or some unrelated male being forced at gunpoint to cough up tax dollars for her benefit). Chicks who have funny-money student loans paying their way, or who have parents supporting them one way or another, are just way more into partying, hotttt guys, etc., than chicks who don’t have that safety net. Chicks who really, deeply know how hard it is to pay your own rent, keep yourself afloat, etc. have a different perspective than those who don’t. Especially chicks are have to pay back those student loans that paid for the party.

Some chicks reach the self-sufficient stage at 18 (too early IMO), a few never hit it (trust funds, etc., or just stupid temperament), most hit it from age 21 – 24… when they learn what it’s like to work full time, to be responsible for your own rent, etc. Being self-sufficient can lead a chick’s views on men to  shift. Suddenly, a guy who can pay the rent becomes more attractive than a hottt party guy. A guy who can pay the rent AND who “just gets it”… very valuable and rare. Pure party guys become somewhat less appealing. A guy who is trying to use his material resources and wealth to woo and impress women should know that her age likely affects whether she’ll be somewhat receptive/responsive to that courtship display. A chick for whom money is already being taken care of, likely won’t care. A chick who is very much into having a family will like financial responsibility displays more.

I observe that a lot of chicks want to imagine a path towards a real relationship with the guy they’re f**king casually, and a guy who has some financial stability/job stability is going to make that fantasy easier for her. A guy with no financial resources but who is attractive in some other way (musician, physically hot, student athlete, etc.) will make that a bit harder for her. And this is true on average, not all the time… some young chicks get online to look for providers, and some older women don’t give a f**k and want hott guys. Some older women also get out of a long, intense, sexually boring relationship and want to f**k around for a while. In the current environment guys should shade towards being hot, dangerous, exciting, etc., rather than towards being a material provider, because most women have “enough” money, even if they’d like more. Most women don’t have enough excitement and leadership in their lives, however. I come off as a boring corporate drone in some ways but in others I have cultivated some mystery, surprise, etc., and that serves me well.

The switch many chicks undergo when the subsidies dry up is sort of like how a lot of people in school or enmeshed in academia are “socialists” because they are paying no taxes and are being subsidized by taxpayers, so having someone else pay more into the system seems intensely desirable. When you start paying real money into the system, lower taxes become intensely desirable. The view shifts based on the life circumstances. Most people are terrible at abstract reasoning, so they feel how their current situation is, then devise political or social views based on that situation. When their situation changes, their views change. This is also why so much social/political commentary is uninteresting… it springs from a person’s immediate experience far more than a person’s research and deep understanding.

Lots of young chicks are into sexual freedom but some older women retract their interest in sexual freedom, particularly among the young, because older women cannot compete effectively with young hot chicks. So older women try to shame guys into not f**king young hot chicks, and try to shame young hot chicks into restricting their sexuality. I don’t think this works very well but that doesn’t stop older women from trying it. I am also now old enough to have seen young party girls f**king vigorously and regularly into conservative matrons who caution their own daughters about being too free with their favors.

Some number of chicks are also just dysfunctional, moving from eviction to eviction, unable to get along with roommates, precariously housed, never really financially stability, etc. Most normal chicks (and normal people in general) learn that eviction sucks, that it’s important to have enough money to pay the rent, that you will be screwed if you screw over other people, etc. Some chicks, however, never learn this, and in my view they are best avoided. Such chicks also usually have abysmal diet and exercise habits, so they are not hot for very long. They are out there and I have run into some of them. I bring this up because there are exceptions to every principle of human behavior. There are also some relatively conservative chicks who find stability/wealth sexy from a very early age, and who mostly opt out of the hottttt guy mating game.

I have seen many older guys erroneously attempt to impress young hot subsidized chicks with income/jobs/etc. It doesn’t work because those subsidized chicks don’t give a f**k, any more than I give a f**k about status among primitive tribesmen. Everyone knows guys who are doing financially well and do poorly with women, and everyone knows guy who are poor and do well with women. That’s one point in “Radicalizing the Romanceless.” That’s also why the media obsession with “income inequality” is so poorly received by most people; most guys care much less about income per se than about how income affects their abilities with women. Women care much less about income per se and much more about competing with other women for status and about what income says about a man.

The thing about girls preferring provider guys more after the subsidies end is, I think, my own observation. If someone else said it first, then I forgot who. It’s just me trying to understand the patterns I’ve observed. If you as a guy are seeking the youngest and hottest chicks, edge towards being a hott party guy. If you as a guy are seeking to have kids, edge a little bit more towards career/stability. I’m also unusual in that I believe there are only two kinds of relationships with women: a relationship that leads to children and all other kinds of relationships. That belief is part of what led me to group sex, a practice that I’m surprised more players don’t adopt, as it can leverage one chick into multiple hot chicks.

“When the U.S. falls into a recession, a credit bubble will explode”

When the U.S. falls into a recession, a credit bubble will explode.” This is outside my typical purview, but it has been long enough since the last recession for everyone to have forgotten its lessons. In the mid-2000s, I knew lots of ballers who were buying very expensive cars and a lot of stupid people who suddenly got into “flipping” houses, because real estate is a can’t-lose proposition, right?

Except for the way real estate value tanked in ’91. The way it eroded in value during inflation in the ’70s. The way it really fell in the ’30s. Even in the ’01 recession, it at best held steady.

A lot of those ballers in the mid-2000s were bankrupt by 2009. Right now, I’m seeing a lot of the same signs: stupid people eager to get into real estate. Too many cars being bought relative to the number of drivers. Student loan debt problems are already well known.

You make a lot of money by being bold when everyone else cowers, and by being cowardly when everyone else is bold. Right now it seems like a lot of people are bold… I’m going to cower over here in the corner and let the ballers do their thing. People with cash on hand during recessions can make the real money. I wasn’t able to do so last time. I might not be able to do so this time.

Part of game, IMO, is being able to stand aside from the herd. The same thing is true in financial markets. Most guys never learn about 1. Game. 2. Evolutionary biology. 3. Cooking/food. 4. Finances. in school. We then pay for our ignorance throughout our lives.

“The Problem With Feminine Women”

The Problem With Feminine Women” matches my experiences (sorry for the bullshit sales popup on that blog… seems annoyingly common these days). If you’re a guy who wants feminine women, you have to be a masculine guy. Pretty much what you read here. The more experience you have with women, the more you understand this.

Hell, you don’t even need much experience with women. Just go about your everyday life and notice who is paired up. Usually the feminine women have masculine guys (and vice-versa), while the androgynous match up. Most people are within five or six years of each other’s ages. Etc. Some things, of course, cannot be changed… you cannot change your age. But some things can… it is possible to date hotter-younger chicks. That is what you’re learning from game. But many guys, maybe most guys, if you’re going to get the hottest chicks, you have to be the best dude… you start off working for the chicks, then you end up working on yourself.

Your life is a reflection of who you are

There is a guy on Reddit, I am not going to link to him, who wrote a post saying that, “Finding out women are brain dead, making me depressed.” And he says, “To me it seems that 99.9% of women are like semi-blind goldfish. It’s like they have absolutely ZERO control or recognition of their emotions, they just react without thought.” The first reply says, “Dude you’re not wrong, but you’re not going to be fun and enjoy the moment with a cynical mindset. Most women do have the attention span and memory of a goldfish though.” Actually, that dude IS wrong. He’s probably low value, though. He’s also hanging out with the wrong women.

Women have a somewhat different value system, on average, than dudes, more based on emotion and feelings. This guy is as blind to that as most chicks are to the male value system of achievement. It’s likely that high-value, intelligent women do not like this guy, do not find him attractive, and outright avoid him. It’s also possible that he’s in a bad environment, like a rural area or a bad school, and he is surrounded by people who are not the intellectual cream.

If you think most women are brain dead there are two real possibilities (I’ll discount the environmental possibility for now, because most people get into the environment they earn/deserve): 1. You are someone like Stephen Wolfram and working on Mathematica and you are a genius, in which case most people seem kind of dim (I have met geniuses), or 2. You are stupid and blind yourself. The vast majority of people who think they are geniuses are wrong and fall into category 2. Even geniuses often lack sufficient theory of mind to understand what chicks want.

If you think chicks are dumb, the problem is probably you, because your value is low and you don’t even know it, or the chicks you hang out with. The same guy who wrote the thing I am referencing also uses a ton of run-on sentences and likely doesn’t even know it. It’s very rare that someone thinks everyone around them is dumb and is correct. And even if you are correct, that’s a sign you need to make serious life changes. It’s amazing how many guys, who aren’t getting laid much and don’t have high value, think women are dumb / mean / cruel / all whores / etc., vs. how many guys who are getting laid and have high value often don’t think that.

Social cooperation vs. competition

This is another of the posts that guys in their 20s can pretty much ignore, as it’s not terribly applicable to them, but as I read “The Real Roots of Midlife Crisis: What a growing body of research reveals about the biology of human happiness—and how to navigate the (temporary) slump in middle age” I see some aspects that apply to me, even if I wish I did not. Like, “Midlife is, for many people, a time of recalibration, when they begin to evaluate their lives less in terms of social competition and more in terms of social connectedness.” I would not say that I have abandoned competition, which I still feel, but I feel less of it, and I realize that a lot of the competition I perceived when I was younger was just imagined. In any given situation I was often competing more than anything else against myself. And it’s often better to change the game than to keep competing in it. This is most obviously true for guys with one-itis. Instead of chasing after that one Magical Special Girl, go find another one… and make Magical Special Girl compete with the other girl. If she doesn’t, she was never yours.

Do you not get the promotion you wanted at work? Get another job.

Etc.

There is something to the idea that “age is just a number.” We have all met older people with incredible optimism and grace, while we have all met 20-year olds with the soul of 55-year-old accountants. But while there is something to that idea, biology imposes its own costs. You do not see 40-year olds suddenly breaking into the NBA. If you are 40, you will not get the kind of mentorship and even tolerance at work that raw 23-year olds might get. Injury rates go up over time. Such observations fueled “The deep psychology that keeps men in the game.” While guys don’t crash into the wall like most women do in their 30s, there is a wall and we do eventually hit it. Eventually, even with extreme diet discipline and gym discipline, a guy’s ability to get younger-hotter-tight (YHT) is going to decline. This is NOT an argument that you should think to yourself, “I am 35, it must be time to SETTLE DOWN.” But if you have been in the game for five years, ten years… you may find yourself thinking such thoughts. There are some real trade-offs, like the ones from “Two possible paths forward: Hedonistic partying vs children.”

One fact about the modern world, too, is that you can never surrender… your girl or wife (if you’re crazy enough to marry) could leave you at any time. Constant vigilance and preparation is the way of the modern world. You might not like it, but it’s true. It’s also true of women, by the way.

From the article, this also makes sense, “My dissatisfaction was whiny and irrational, as I well knew, so I kept it to myself.” Many of my dissatisfactions are whiny and irrational. They persist anyway. Overall I am well placed. Yet I feel that I could be doing a little better. A lot better, in some ways. I find myself thinking about chucking my career and doing something different, more technical… realistically I am not going to do it, but the dissatisfactions are there.

Also, I have been saying for a while that the death of elderly relatives is a common point for people to re-evaluate their lives, “As I moved into my early 50s, I hit some real setbacks. Both of my parents died, one of them after suffering a terrible illness while I watched helplessly.” For people in their teens and 20s it is easy to feel immortal. But the immortal feeling often wanes over time.

I also notice a common pattern: people with large, functioning families work much better with age and aging. People who are alone, isolated, or with dysfunctional families work worse, especially in the face of injury. I don’t have empirical support for this observation but it is what I observe. One of the tragedies of the contemporary world is isolation. At any given moment isolation feels like the easy road, but over the long term it may be better to take the hard one.

I just wrote a tweet, “When you figure out the game and get your fundamentals in order, most of the rest is execution. That’s why most pickup, game, and Red Pill guys quit or fade away… the execution is the harder part.” I don’t think I’m a game master, but I have been doing enough things right for a long enough time that I have fundamentals in order. My main contribution to the community has been in writing about non-monogamy and sex clubs as they can apply to the game. If I have an “innovation,” that is it, but I don’t think it will become wildly popular, as non-monogamy is a sub-culture and game/pickup is a sub-culture… so I am target the tiny overlap between the two. Not a big market. Fortunately I did not write the book to reach a big market (that market doesn’t exist) but to explain what I have learned for the small number of people who wish to learn or think.

The rest of my game is mostly application of ideas better articulated elsewhere. That is why the sidebar links are important. I still like hooking up w/ hot chicks, don’t get me wrong, and I am not likely to turn into a TradCon. I do feel less competition than I used to, and more cooperation, so that is nice. In some ways, not giving a shit has its advantages w/ chicks, as they can sense that and it intrigues them. I wasn’t good at this, which players call “abundance mentality,” when I was younger. When I was younger I also thought it was important to be “right.” Now I realize that the overwhelming majority of people don’t care about truth or being right… they just want to be emotionally validated and have their team win. With a lot of things it’s like, “Uh huh, right, okay, great,” and then we move on to building connection or doing business or just to something that matters.

I have spent too much of a Saturday writing this post, but reading the piece sparked it in me, and I want to get it out while it’s fresh.

“The DIY Divorce: How I got divorced without hiring a lawyer”

The DIY Divorce: How I got divorced without hiring a lawyer” is yet another “Don’t get married” article. Why would men sign up for such a terrible deal in the first place?

This woman also makes the mistakes of trying to make it in a media glamor industry (same problem as “The Intern Who Doesn’t Have Time for Real Dates”) and trying to live in one of the most expensive cities in the country and world. A chick who is actually family-oriented will move to Nashville, Dallas, Denver, or a similarly family-friendly city.

The only thing the guy in the story does sort-of right is marry someone who makes more money than him. The sad thing is that modern marriage incentivizes both persons in a couple to make LESS money, as then the other party will be forced to pay them money.