Game or relationship “levels:” Different for men and women

There are different “levels” of game/relationship skills, each with its distinct but overlapping characteristics.

Meeting/getting laid: Most “game” guys and their discussion live here: for guys, it’s often a struggle just to meet chicks and get laid. Most guys need to up their sex appeal, social skills, fashion, etc. Some guys are also living in bad environments (rural areas, suburbs). Most chicks don’t talk much about meeting guys and getting laid, as it’s not important to height-weight proportionate chicks in their teens, 20s, or 30s. For chicks it’s not hard to get laid, even by guys who are +2 or +3 in sexual market value (SMV). Chicks would do better if they opened more guys, but that’s like telling the average barista they should just move to Silicon Valley and become a programmer to improve their life. The advice will be relevant to like 1/100 people. More chicks should make the first move but they won’t, so encouraging chicks to make the first move is pointless. Chicks choose among the guys who move on them. 

Short-term relationships: These are usually easy as the honeymoon effect is strong and for that reason there is not much to say here. Lust and novelty maintain the relationship. Both parties are evaluating one another. Chicks talking about how to get the guy to “commit?” They’re usually in something short-term.  

Medium-term relationships: These probably last from two months to two years. I have written a lot about how to manage expectations with chicks in medium-term relationships. Guys who want the novelty of new p***y but want to retain chicks find this stage difficult, because most chicks want to move to the next stage.

Chicks who write about medium-term relationships are almost always writing about how to get medium-term relationships into the long-term relationship, particularly marriage. Most dating advice by and for chicks lives in this space and later. Most dating advice by and for guys lives in the meeting- and short-term space. For most chicks, just showing up or logging online is sufficient to get laid. But for most chicks who have decided to invest heavily in a guy, this is one of the hardest stages. Many guys begin to feel the call of the wild again after 100 or 200+ bangs w/ a particular girl. Dating power shifts to guys after sex and in this phase.

Long-term relationships (without kids): I don’t get why most guys would want to be in a very long-term, monogamous relationship with a woman unless there are kids involved, but some guys do. The big problem for both men and women is boredom. For financially dysfunctional people, the big problem may be daily living. Not much chick advice lives here.

Long-term relationships with kids: Lots of dating and life advice exists for both guys and chicks. It’s hard to do successfully. Competing interests are common. Lots of people are narcissistic and lots of people are emotionally f**ked up today. 

A lot of man advice focuses on stages one and two. A lot of chick advice focuses on stages three and later. Does it seem like men and women are having different conversations around dating, relationships, and sex? That’s because we often are. I wrote “Kids, the player, and the Red Pill: Comprehensive statement” to offer some thinking to guys who are age 30+ and who are doing well in stages one and two. Guys online who do well in stages one and two seem to stop writing, as I will likely do.

Game helps the most at stages one and two. It obviously helps in the later stages, but the big boost is stages one and two. I’ve read players who say that game gets you in the door, but then you have to try living in the house. Once you are regularly tagging a chick, she is going to start to see who you really are, what really drives you, what you do when you’re sexually satiated, what your family constellation is like, etc.

There are also different “levels” in the game discussion space. When people at different spaces in the conversation try to talk to one another, the result is often chaos and dysfunction, because one person may not even know what the other is talking bout. 

Author: The Red Quest

How can we live and be in society?

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