Why romantic rejection stings: evolved psychology

Humans spent most of our evolutionary history in small bands and/or villages of 30 – 150 people; think about that ancestral environment for a minute: in it, there were likely only a handful of unattached, fecund women at any given time, all of them enmeshed in family kinship ties that had to be navigated by any guy who wants a shot at their p***y. In that environment, making a play for a chick and losing might be severely damaging or even fatal to a guy’s reproductive prospects; a guy should experience a severe psychological penalty if he fails. All of his people are probably going to learn of his failure, and failure may lead to a failure cascade. Fail hard enough and your genes wash out of the gene pool.

Contrast that with today (you can probably see where I’m going): in high schools or colleges, a guy may be surrounded by dozens, hundreds, or even thousands of attractive prime-age women. In big cities like Las Vegas, Los Angeles, or London, that number rises to the hundreds of thousands. Any particular rejection shouldn’t matter, yet to many of us it does, to the point that fear of rejection inhibits the attempt. In some circumstances, circumspection is still desirable: a lot of high school and college chicks are super into a guy’s social network and standing, which is why cold approach pickup is often undesirable in these environments… even though most high school and college guys should be bolder than they are and risk/accept more rejection.

Today, most women have minimal romantic oversight by their kin, particularly for short-term mating and after the high-school period. Women make their own sexual decisions. For guys living in big cities, any particular rejection is meaningless, yet it still stings. I think that’s our evolved response to sexual rejection, which is maladaptive in most modern situations. If she says no, move on to the next one. Practice hitting on women like you’d practice any other skill. If a guy works on his value, value delivery mechanism, and environment, he will likely improve. But in hitting on chicks and accepting their sometimes-cruel rejection, he may be pushing against his own psychology, and that is difficult. I want to acknowledge that it is difficult. Men and women have overlapping but distinct sexual strategies, which means that both sexes will struggle, just in different ways. The way to minimize struggle is to be ultra-high value (unlikely) or give up (unsatisfying). The rest of us must face the dragon.

It’s useful to try and overcome some emotional responses with rational thought. Useful, but difficult, and likely imperfect. I don’t expect to completely overcome emotional responses, but I wish to try, and, in my life, the effort to think through my feelings has been rewarded. Your first feeling toward a situation or thing is often wrong.

Understanding our evolved psychology is important for understanding how to live today. In ancestral times, a sweet tooth was adaptive and helped guide us towards edible fruits and honey, both of which were likely important to survival. Today, industrial agricultural can deliver sugar in quantities totally foreign to evolutionary times, leading to obesity, diabetes, etc. Almost everyone who quits sugar gets great results. Standing apart from the herd, though, is hard, and we see the results of those who can’t stand out (fat people) all around us. The modern information environment may also be bad for us, attempting to generate fake tribalism and bullshit outrage because both are extremely attractive, even if they’re bad for us. We should be reading more books and fewer anger-inducing, polarizing media articles.

I write about the ailments of sugar and the pain of rejection not because I am beyond them, but because I am not. I still struggle with both, even as I try to build habits that minimize the struggle, or allow me to win. I’m not 100% successful. Rejection still annoys me at times. I miss chicks I ought to open. I try to re-center myself by asking, “Why am I responding this way? What is the good response? What would Marcus Aurelius do, besides conquer Gaul?” We live for only a short while. We should try to do it as best we can.

I’m writing this today because I believe I’m both rejecting and being rejected this weekend. Plus, I read an incredible Red Pill account by an anthropologist, Napoleon Chagnon, who perseveres through both the tribe he studies and the Marxist-indoctrinated colleagues who can’t conceive of a world outside their narrow ideological bubble. The world rarely confirms to an ideology. We try to make it so at our own peril.

Emotions and Ms. Slav, Low-cut top girl and a weird foursome

Last Friday, after a decent interval since I’d last seen her (er, had sex with her…), Ms. Slav came over and we discussed this, and what else in her life has been going on (a lot), what else has been going in mine (not that much), and the nature of being in different stages of life. The sex was weirdly tender and emotional… I don’t think it was “goodbye sex,” but it may be “de-escalation” sex. She is still learning a lot of things (more on that later). One nice thing about Ms. Slav is that pretty much any time we get together, we have sex, no matter what else is happening. Regular f**king really does smooth over a lot of other issues… if more women understood this and implemented it, the divorce rate would be considerably lower. Just getting on the knees and sucking a couple times a week really does strengthen relationships. Couples therapists need to start assigning blowjob therapy if they are serious about helping people in relationships.

Low-cut top girl DID show up to the foursome, and I was pretty surprised. She dressed in an outfit very similar, or maybe identical, to the one she was wearing the night I met her… only two months ago… feels like a lot longer.

The foursome was pretty straightforward, although early on the woman in the other couple asked a lot of questions about how we know each other and what our relationship is like. I thought I might be headed home alone, as the other couple could tell we don’t know each other well. Many couples prefer to swap with another established, firm couple, as that limits some kinds of jealousy, as well as some mate-poaching behavior. Alcohol and novelty won the day, however, and I split a hotel room with the other guy. Woman was pretty but not too special, late 20s/early 30s, and she and her man had clearly made the full swap decision ahead of time. The other guy wanted to make a sex tape (like me!), but she nixed it. All in the game. I did a really nice job railing her from behind and got into that zone where the sex is pleasurable but not so overwhelming as to make me finish early. The woman also didn’t tighten as much as some women do when they orgasm, so that let me keep going. High-performance nights are always nice.

The other guy had performance troubles, so I gave him a bit of substance to help, and about 45 minutes later he was ready to go. I told him that it’s common to seek certain aids in that situation, as it can be harder to perform in a group among novel participants than among basic one-on-one sex. Plus, just trying to put people at ease when they’re uncomfortable or anxious goes a long way to solving discomfort or anxiety. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it, it happens to everyone sometimes” are all magic words. Sort of like how players know that “It’s okay, you can leave any time you want to” often disarms LMR. I have sometimes stood up when I’m with a girl and moved away from her and said, “The door is right over there. I’m not forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do. You can walk out now or any time.” A little comfort is useful.

Overall a successful evening. Low-cut top girl was annoyed that I wouldn’t let her stay in the hotel. I needed to go home and told her needed to as well. She argued that I had already paid for the hotel, which was true, but I told her that I also needed to go home. I told her that if she wanted to stay she had to give them her credit card, which she wouldn’t do. Bit of an ugly scene. May have cued the other couple to make an independent play for her. I hope they do. Low-cut top girl is absolutely the sort of chick who’d clean out the mini-bar and order $500 in bullshit on my card. Doesn’t speak well of her, now that I read my own description of her. I need to find more compatible chicks. I would actually trust Ms. Slav not to do that kind of shit. She might do it inadvertently, because that’s what she does in expensive hotels.

This week, Low-cut top girl has been sending me a lot of messages (many of them I’m not replying to, in keeping my “once per day at most” texting and Internet distraction philosophy) but refusing to come over… that might be for the best. We’ve been on an accelerated timeline, so maybe from open to ending is going to occur in less time than usual. After our foursome that is surprising, even to me, but that foursome may have been a one-time thing. She samples the food, doesn’t care for it, is glad she tried it, moves on with her life.

Low-cut top girl also wants to know why I don’t take her out to dinner, which, along with music/concerts, has been a historical sore point and push-pull point for me and chicks. I told her to read The Millionaire Next Door (a great book, you should read it). I might give her a copy if I see her again, though she is the kind of girl who is going to yo-yo back and forth or just ghost me when she finds another dude. I have lower financial discipline than I did when I really had no money… I need to quit buying camera gear, which is a vice of mine… but I still have pretty decent financial disipline… and part of that is just not spending money on stupid shit like expensive dinners out. I like a lot of what are now called “fast casual” places… she apparently likes expensive sit-down places? I dunno, I can countenance those at work… I can deal with them rarely… a lot of the time I’d rather just have some falafel or a burrito bowl, plus extra cash in pocket. Real freedom is not having to worry about money.

Most restaurants are also just too damn noisy, and that’s terrible for social bonding or learning.

Mostly, though… it’s the money… and the number of people who are better to talk to, than a book is to be read… well… it’s not as high as I’d like. This girl also liked expensive restaurants, but she was kind of weird in public… she’d be fine in private, one-on-one, but didn’t interact well in public. It was like dating two different chicks, personality-wise. Oddly, that girl wants to get a drink w/ me… I have been meaning to do it.

I tweeted, “Building the mind is a lifelong project.” If you are not reading you are probably not learning as much as you can or should.

Ms. Slav, though… Ms. Slav is also discovering the downside of saying “yes” too much… she is stretched thin. I would phrase it as, she is giving away a lot of value… so everyone is coming out to grab some… and she needs to retract / guard her value a little better. Chicks would never frame something this way… but that is what I see. I told her about my growing discomfort with how I am living, and my desire to do something different. I think she gets it. Although she thinks I can do family AND do the life I have been living… it’s not impossible, just really f**king unlikely. One rule in game is to assume the median girl, at least until proven otherwise. Guys know that it’s POSSIBLE to be standing around at a regular party or whatever, and have some stunning 8 open you and then f**k her later that night. It’s also POSSIBLE for Tinder to work that way. It’s just super unlikely. You want to take high-percentage shots. In today’s NBA, that means threes or right next to the basket. It’s POSSIBLE to win with a lot of long twos… just not likely.

Guys who want to win, try to put themselves in the best position possible to win at whatever their game is. For a guy who wants to be in the game, that means moving to a city and not living in a rural area or an exurb. For a guy who wants a kid (or more kids), how I am living… is not the optimal way to go about that goal.

With Low-cut top girl, I feel like I am experiencing deja vu… she is new to me but is overall close to the typical female. So close that I feel like I’ve already seen everything she says or does. Ms. Slav is the exact opposite.

“He Cheated in an Open Marriage”

He Cheated in an Open Marriage” gives you a flavor of what happens when a higher-status guy is getting older and is in an “open” marriage/relationship. If a guy keeps working on his game, body, and value, his sexual market value (SMV) will outpace his wife/partner’s from age 30 onward. Or age 35 onward, depending on the couple. This produces a strong incentive for the guy to push the relationship’s boundary.

The greater the disparity between the SMV in a couple, the greater the temptation to do such things.

The venue in which the story is being published is also notable, as the whole issue is devoted to what’s happening to marriage (from women’s perspective, naturally). Under current divorce law, every woman who makes less than her partner is incented to marry that partner if she can. No woman wants to directly admit that, however.

Poly/open is becoming more common in the overall culture. Smart guys will figure out how to leverage this trend.

When you’re not that into the girl after sex

Anastasia asks guys

Guys. You are very attentive and “present” on your way to a notch with a girl. Texting her. Several dates may [have gone by?]

What happens after? No one talks about that[.]

Do you ghost her if you didn’t like her too much? Or u word that? Or u disappear? Or it depends on the girl’s behavior?

I’m not 100% sure what Anastasia means: if a guy drops off on the way to sex, he probably has a better offer or just realizes he’s not that into the girl… it can happen. I think she’s asking, what happens if a guy isn’t into the girl after the sex? After sex, I almost always send a day-after “Pleasure seeing you” text, or something like that. If I’m not that into the woman, I will usually not follow-up much beyond that light chit-chat. I argue that ghosting is bad for the person doing the ghosting and the person being ghosting, but this also seems to be an anomalous position almost no one else takes; people shouldn’t ghost, although me saying so is pretty damn unlikely to change behavior. I find ghosting a little cowardly in most circumstances and sufficiently cowardly acts often harm the person who does them. Ghosting is often “the easy way.”

If the woman likes me a lot and proposes another date, but I am not into her, I will say something like, “I like you a lot but I think we aren’t very compatible.”

If I am into her, I obviously propose the next date. I prefer to propose it in person befor she leaves, whether she leaves that night or the next day. This sets good expectations. Even something like, “I want to see you again. Let’s do Monday night or Wednesday night, come over for dinner” works. On most nights I aim to make dinner, so having her over means dinner + sex.

My sense is that ghosting is very common… I think that is bad for everyone and that basic courtesy is generally lacking in American society. Maybe all societies. There is a courteous way to say no and I prefer to do that when possible. It will usually make the woman feel better and make me feel better.

If a woman is interested in me and I am not interested in her and she asks for genuine feedback about what isn’t working between us I will usually give it to her, but this is quite rare, for hook-ups. Quite rare in general. A woman is falling for me but who I don’t want a relationship with is more likely to do this, though it is still rare. I sense that guys ask women for feedback more often than vice-versa.

Usually the problems between us are 1) She is not into non-monogamy, as I am (have been?), or 2) she wants to move in with me (this one is common), or 3) I am just not that into her, as there is something off with either her body, her mind, or her life. If there is something off with her body I will usually encourage her to quit eating sugar and hit the gym. Almost no chick does this… almost no guy does this either. The route to a better body is incredibly obvious and anyone who wants to do this can do it. “Better” won’t mean “OMG the hottest ever” but better is almost always possible. There are chicks who I will f**k casually with little effort but who are not that great otherwise.

If there is something wrong with her mind, it’s usually ignorance, mental illness, or obsession with social media. She is either f**ked in the head in some way, overly obsessed with me, or just kind of vacant, usually without being super nice to make up for being vacant. I can deal with a nice, fun-to-be-around girl who doesn’t stimulate me mentally. Usually those kinds of girls aren’t that into me, but they can be and have been. They think reading books is kinda weird.

If there is something wrong with her life, she is probably living with her parents, has some kind of drug issue, or has otherwise f**ked herself up somehow. She has no job at an age and station when she should have a job. Guys evaluating women for short-term sex look almost exclusively at looks and health. Guys evaluating women for long-term relationships will usually look at her overall life. I can often f**k girls like this for a while, but I won’t go anything beyond casual.

Usually women with serious life problems, those problems bleed into their dating lives. Not 100%, not all the time, but often enough.

To go back to the ghosting thing, some guys are really into casually f**king as many chicks as possible and they will often just stop caring about the chick the minute she leaves, or the minute he gets off. As I said, I think that’s not great for the guy or the chick, but those guys are out there, looking for sport f**ks.

Lots of chicks are self-conscious and high-anxiety about their bodies, their looks, their sexuality, etc. That’s why I usually reassure a girl that she has a nice pussy and that sex is good (as long as it is). Even if I am not into her, if she is into me, I try to convey that we had a good experience but that I am not a suitable person for her, so she is not waiting by the phone. You can legitimately point out that chicks rarely extend that basic courtesy to guys, and while that is true and bad, I would like to improve the world a little bit. When ghosting comes up in conversation I go on my anti-ghosting rant… doesn’t seem to have changed much… no wonder so much sexuality and sexual interaction is so f**ked up. Many people can’t or won’t do the simple and courteous thing. It is often very easy to make someone else feel good about themselves with a couple of words… just do that thing, when it is appropriate.

After sex, most of the time, the guy has more relationship power (“hand”) than the chick. So try not to get drunk with that power. Before sex, the typical chick has more power. Many chicks abuse that power: I am the first to admit that. But chicks shouldn’t do that. Guys shouldn’t abuse their post-sex power, particularly with a chick who has been otherwise well-behaved. Do not treat the individual as an avatar for the entire group to which she belongs.

Anastasia, I think few guys discuss this topic online because most guys never get to the point where they regularly have to judge chicks post-sex. Most guys struggle to get one chick… so this topic is invisible. While for chicks, the post-sex question is ubiquitous. Chicks are also used to shooting for guys +1 or +2 above them, so chicks are often competing for the same small-ish pool of high-status guys. A lot of guys who are getting the sex they want, are not online debating tactics. They are f**king hot chicks, working out at the gym, swiping online, etc. There is an incredible profusion of basic intro material and interest in that material and very little intermediate or advanced conversation because few guys get to intermediate or advanced. When they do, they quit online or, more rarely, start coaching. I am probably going to quit writing too. I should do one more book about the journey. A sort of Book of Pook focused more non-monogamy than most game texts. Don’t know if I’ll end up bothering to execute it, as the last book was pretty much ready to go and still ended up taking a lot of time. I also perceive that the overwhelming majority of guys are just not in the game and not seriously trying to improve their lives. It’s fine to spectate (I do it), but I really write for the guys who want to make a change. A rare group, it seems.

Low-cut top girl: first sex club experience, plus DRAMA

I took Low-cut top girl to a sex club last weekend, and, to spoil the story some, it was an unusual experience because MS. SLAV WAS THERE. She came in after a while, that is. Low-cut top girl and I had finished our first round already, which is good. I’d previously checked with Ms. Slav, and Ms. Slav told me she was going to a private event the same night, so I figured I was all good… Ms. Slav likes to f**k other people but does not seem to like it when I do the same: I think she is struggling for that reason.

So: Low-cut top girl is extremely boring and average in a lot of ways, and therefore I accelerated the usual development path somewhat because I am not sure about keeping her around… we had a long talk about what sex clubs are like, why I like going, etc. I had to lead her through the whole thing… what are the peak experiences in your life… yes, many of them are sexual… so what if you could try to experiment with real peak experiences… you know how boring normal parties are, right?… it’s not that much fun to stand around drinking and making dumb remarks to people… at parties, everyone is thinking about what everyone else looks like naked… etc. She is pretty conventional, not just sexually but in every aspect of her life. Still like her in bed, though.

I spent a couple hours walking through why sex clubs are fun and what happens there. I gave her a book, More Than Two, that she didn’t read because she’s too busy on her phone and social media. I framed this as a fun thing we can try and if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t like it. This low-stakes framing is useful for ambivalent first-timers.

The night of, I told her to come over about an hour before I actually needed her to come over, which was smart because she was late getting ready. She does clean up nice, though. We got to the club at about the right time, an hour or so before things got started… lots of new faces there, along with some old friends, which made for a good mix. On bad nights there are no attractive people there and the best thing to do is leave. That is not a good introduction but it can happen. I encouraged her to kiss another girl and she did, and they both loved it and were very bashful after. I also got the other couple’s digits, an important point for later.

I like putting on a show and Low-cut top girl has some exhibitionist tendencies, so we were among the first wave to hit the main f**k space. I took loads of time going down on Low-cut top girl and using toys on her before f**king her. Another couple (different than the first) joined us, and the girl caressed and kissed Low-cut top girl, which she liked very much. They wanted to go further but I told them about Low-cut top girl’s first night status, meaning we were going to stick with each other, which they respected. I finished sooner than I would have liked but I was very stimulated and did not hold back well.

Such is the game… we put underwear back on, left to get a drink, and as we were hanging out near the bar and THERE WAS MS. SLAV, coming right towards us, like a monster in a monster movie. We saw each other about the same time. Having had this kind of collision before, I knew that there is no way forward other than brazenly, so I introduced Ms. Slav to my “lover” Low-cut top girl, and I asked Ms. Slav what relationship term she prefers… she picked lover too… so I introduced her to Low-cut top girl like it was very normal. Ms. Slav had some guy and a girl I know with her.

Ms. Slav was obviously angry. Obvious to me, I mean. I asked about the other party and why they didn’t go to it, and some kind of girl drama had made them change plans. I had told Ms. Slav that I might hit the sex club that night… I just didn’t specify who I’d be with. Like most public clubs, it requires men to have dates on some nights, and I would never go to a club on a night that admits unattached single men. Realistically I can go without a date on a couple night, as I’m a known quantity and know how to behave, but I prefer to bring one. We did some more chit-chat, then I said that I didn’t want to stop them.

When I let Ms. Slav and her dates go to the bar, I took Low-cut top girl to another part of the club… I wish the music had been quieter. Low-cut top girl wanted to know all about Ms. Slav and why I hadn’t told her about Ms. Slav… I told her that I hadn’t decided about her yet, and that she hadn’t proven herself to me one way or another. This confused her… angered her… aroused her a little bit. She wanted to know how many other girls I’m seeing, that kind of numbers thing that is not very interesting to people in the scene but very intersting to people outside it.

She seemed to get over her shock and we eventually went back to the main room… Ms. Slav and her dates went to one of the more private rooms, I think. We had sex again. Unfortunately, some guy came over and put his hand on her while we were f**king… and I was like “HEY BUDDY, NOT NOW.” That is a major etiquette breach. After we were done I had to go find the hosts and tell them about it.

On the way back Low-cut top girl was full of questions about Ms. Slav. She was very surprised, I think, by how hot Ms. Slav is… really hot young girls are disruptive to the social order. I think Low-cut top girl knows that she can’t compete on beauty alone. She, in particular, also can’t compete on intellect/achievement, although she thinks she is very samrt. People who think they’re brilliant but are not are very tiresome, but Low-cut top girl and I have (mostly) been f**king and not doing too many other things where I would have to listen to her.

She was still drugged up from the experience, despite us not taking drugs. There is a “slip into a magic world” quality that a good group sex experience has. Despite the Ms. Slav encounter the club was pretty good and had some attractive couples in it, though that isn’t guaranteed, and a bad first experience can turn an unsure girl against the whole environment forever. She even said she was surprised that cool/attractive people were there.

She also said she’d be up for dates with another couple. We’ll see about that one from the club… I may try to hook her up w/ a couple Ms. Slav and I have seen… the girl in that couple is fantastically hot. Guy seems not bad either, and he’s a personal trainer (but not an idiot), while she also works in an aspect of the fitness industry. The first time I f**ked her, she asked after how old I am… I told her to guess… she missed by like ten years… she seemed put off when she found out the answer, but I just said the usual, “Are you having a great experience tonight?” She said yes and I was like, “That’s all that matters.”

Our first club experience could also be the impetus for letting Low-cut top girl go, as she is not a good long-term person for me: she is not as hot as I’d like, and she can be annoying to be around at times. But I am also weak… there is a private event weekend after this one. Depending on what happens, I may try bringing her to that too. If I can get her in the scene, I will not have to field requests for moronic brunches and drinks she wants to go to. I think she wants to show me off, but I am lacking in the time necessary to deal. I also don’t like how much she drinks… I think it compromises her life and her body. Low-cut top girl also told me that she KNEW I am a fuckboy. She was hitting me and laughing at the same time. She seemed not to know her own emotions. Going to a f**k club can be like hitting molly, without the molly.

On Sunday I talked to Ms. Slav… she seemed angry that I hadn’t told her about Low-cut top girl. I told Ms. Slav that she does her own thing, and I also do my own thing. She said I should at least tell her. I told her that she never asked. Which is true. She just about never asks me. I have been seeing her less frequently… does she think I have taken monastic vows? We’ve talked about reciprocity before, and that is something she finally acknowledges she has some problems with. There was no resolution… Ms. Slav is also still dealing with family issues. No real resolution there. “Drift away” could be the resolution.

Monday night, I got a long text from Low-cut top girl saying that she doesn’t want to see me anymore because she is falling for me and knows that I will break her heart. I read this as, “Most of the guys she’s dated are more into her than she is into them, and she can’t believe the opposite is happening.” Because I haven’t immediately fallen for her, she is becoming more enchanted with me. She said that she knew I was too confident because of the way I stopped her on the street. (Originally she said she admired me for the some reason/behavior).

Overall Low-cut top girl’s trajectory is consistent with some other trajectories I have seen in the last ten years… some chicks are up for this and some are not. I’ve speculated that as many as 75% of chicks are up to sex clubs, and I think Low-cut top girl is among them… but seeing Ms. Slav at her first event, and seeing that I have other lovers, is too much for her. She needs a more gradual admission. Most chicks are NOT like Ms. Slav, who just plowed right in.

Despite Low-cut top girl’s proclamation, though, I put her in a group text with the other couple from the club, and we all now have plans to get drinks this weekend. Low-cut top girl and I have not been communicating, except through that group text… so she may cancel, not show up, etc. Chicks are random, as we all know. Then again she might show up. She has kept jumping away from me, only to be reeled back in by my non-reactivity.

There is no cure to human drama… the drama just changes shape, depending on the social structure of the humans involved. I have chosen a different social structure than most people, and it is LOWER drama than most social structures (I think). But I have also refused to commit to a primary partner recently, and that increases the drama level. Ms. Slav is too young. I need to get out of this scene and make my way into something else. My actions don’t match my words, though. I’m doing the things I’m used to doing… it has also been harder for me to connect with the women I’ve been seeing. Peaches, strangely, may be the woman I’ve felt closest to. I didn’t say emotions or feelings have to make sense. That kind of statement is usually an excuse, and maybe it is here, but it is where I am right now.

Apologies if some of this story is poorly organized: I began it Sunday and have been updating it along with events and random thoughts. The free book also doesn’t cover a situation like a collision between two lovers at a sex event, because that is too rare and weird to worry about. 

Your male competitors choose video games over sex

Your male competitors choose video games, fast food, and Internet porn over real-life sex. That’s my takeaway, and the media is too straight-laced to speak the truth. Most chicks are getting f**ked by a smaller number of dudes than they used to. Do you want to be one of those dudes, or do you want to play video games and jerk off?

Next time you want to play video games, hit the gym and track your progress on the bench press and dead lift. Watch those numbers go up and to the right.

A week in the life of the beta male

I am not fond of the ubiquitous “alpha” and “beta” male labels, yet sometimes they just fit, as they do with this week in the life of a subsidized beta male. There are two notable things in this story, or, I should say, absent from this story: the gym never appears and cold approaching never appears. This guy could likely improve his life substantially through both. He doesn’t, and he doesn’t understand chicks, so he is a safe, boring choice for chicks who have nothing better to do. He has a fake, girl-like job, and that fake, girl-like job should give him some access to chicks but he seems not to leverage it. This is a guy who needs to learn to stop hiding his dick.

He lets a Tinder date come over, sleep in his bed, and he doesn’t bother f**king her. No wonder she’s unimpressed and disappointed. She came over to get f**ked and he couldn’t even do that. This is an example of “what not to do;” if a chick comes over to your apartment to spend the night, she wants to get f**ked. He seems to be getting some sex but he lacks the fundamentals and killer instinct needed to consistently f**k, and f**k hotter chicks.

At age 18 or 20 this guy’s mistakes could be seen as part of growing up, but at age 30 they are pretty sad.