Americans are lying about their sexual desire: they want more variety and violence than you’ve been led to believe

“Proof that Americans are lying about their sexual desires” says that anonymized data shows, “porn featuring violence against women is more popular among women than men.” Yeah, I could tell you that too. Women love rough, violent sex… from the right guy. From the wrong guy they hate and fear it. Who you are determines what she likes. Kind of like what I write in “The Startling Rise of Choking During Sex.”

Most guys don’t get this.

Unless you have read My Secret Garden, like you should have, right? Most guys don’t have the SMV, frame, or experience necessary to get it… if you’re a high SMV guy (to her), she wants to be choked, degraded, and manhandled. If you’re not (to her), she’ll accuse you of rape and write #metoo on her anonymous Twitter, naming you. This is not totally universal but female desire is much stronger and wants much more roughness than most guys know or understand. The roughness has to be done intelligently, like I write in the choking post, and she typically needs a lot of leadup to it and an “out” if she needs it, but if she wants it, she really wants it.

The frame thing is important and so is the SMV. I have had sky-high SMV to some chicks and 0 SMV to others. If she sees you as low SMV there’s probably nothing you can do to change it except move on. She’s not going to be into you. If she sees you as high SMV, you’re more likely to see very positive responses to rough sex (and that’s reported even by a very bluepill, feminized site like Vox.com).

The rough sex thing is a little like I say here, about gifts, and how women disdain gifts given to them by low-value supplicating guys. They LOVE earned gifts from high-value guys who give those gifs as a sign of affection. A sign that, while the guy could be fucking loads of other girls, he’s giving her a stuffed animal or diamond necklace.

Do chicks like gifts? Yes and no. Depends on the circumstances. That’s also why so much game advice is contradictory. It depends too much on context to make it universal. It’s also why a lot of beginner guys post bad advice. They’ve felt the elephant’s tail in a dark room and mistake it for the whole elephant. It’s not.

For guys, the problem is that many women will revise their opinions after she (or the guy) moves on. There’s no way around this, because rough, dominant sex binds a woman to the guy doing the rough sex. Many guys offer milquetoast sex, too few do rough and dominant well. You as a guy should explore the woman’s boundaries and push them a little, without going way far over. Read the woman. She needs to feel safe even as she’s exploring what she really likes, and if you don’t ensure the safety too you will have a bad experience and so will she.

Porn featuring violence against women is also extremely popular among women. It is far more popular among women than men. I hate saying that because misogynists seem to love this fact. Fantasy life isn’t always politically correct.

The rate at which women watch violent porn is roughly the same in every part of the world. It isn’t correlated with how women are treated.

What feminists say women want and what actual women want often don’t match up. Remember that when you hear advice from women and especially women who identify as feminists.

This is one of the posts that’s half done, and I need to get it done and out there… I have too many sitting around in note form or partially written. In real life I am executing the lifestyle change that I have been talking about, assuming all goes well… no guarantees of course. As someone said, “The game will always be there” (he can identify himself if he wishes). But a particular woman may not be there… if a woman is smart and has her shit together and has a goal like having a family, she will pursue that goal and nix guys who aren’t going to give it to her. This is somewhat contrary to what you read online, where all chicks are available to a guy with sufficient frame, masculinity, etc. And some chicks will stick around against their better, cold-state judgment… some chicks will not, however. What a guy pursues depends on his stage of life and other factors.

Today there is no reason not to develop rough-sex skills, as you can search for “how do I have rough sex” and begin learning what you should do… you’ll find a lot of garbage but if you take notes and begin experimenting, you should get into the learning feedback loop rapidly.