If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen Yoylo… this is his first field report on the blog, and follow his adventures on Twitter too. I like this story because it illustrates the dangers of not being on the same team with your date, and I worry that I have given too positive a vision of the non-monogamy world.
A bit of a background: I got married at 23, and she was 23 as well. Our daughter was born at 26 and by 30 we all moved from Russia to Sydney. But my then-wife and I separated mid 2018 and divorce papers are in court now. Joint application. The hearing is scheduled for early 2020.
A few months after our separation she found a guy, late 40s or early 50s, who she fucks semi-regularly till now. She tried a few other guys but no one stuck except that one. Apparently he’s a good fuck, knows what he’s doing, but they have no other relations but sex at her place once per week or less (this guy comes as he pleases).
I banged a few girls and had a mini-relationship with one city chick in the Philippines, where I go periodically to check on my property; I bought an investment condo a while ago, so I’m there a few times per year. I went in April as well and spent a weekend with this “girlfriend.”
My ex and I remained friends after separation and talked openly about her sex with this guy and my stuff with various women too. We met regularly for a coffee or a drink and to spend time with our daughter together. And we fucked a few times; the first time you fuck a woman is almost always the most challenging, as subsequent sex doesn’t increment her internal notch counter. This is part of the Matthew Effect: the more women a guy fucks, the more likely he’s going to have one rebound on his cock.
Then I got in touch with daygamers in Sydney via Black Ring and started going out gaming with them. I also knew all the red pill / game stuff long before me and my ex got separated; I’ve read a bunch of game related books and made an effort to apply it to my marriage, but it still failed. After the separation I just consciously chose to live a life of a non-monogamous player. Eventually I became good friends with Black Ring, since we are both single fathers who made a similar decision to quit our LTRs to pursue a non-monogamous lifestyle with lots of chicks involved.
So, after talking to my ex, it became apparent that her guy fucked tons of girls back in the day and, probably, had been to sex clubs too. He raised the idea of MFM and FFM threesomes and a visit to sex club, but she is hesitant. She’s cautious of him because he’s saying he’s not fucking anyone else but he probably does, and she has no way to monitor him. She knows that he’s almost certainly bullshitting her but keeps fucking him because sex is good. Very interesting dynamic, by the way, that tells us about women. What women claim and what they do is often very different.
During one of our chats, she suddenly suggested we go to sex club together. By that time Black Ring had already visited one with his girl and, after a quick chat with him, my ex and I decided that it would be a good idea to go there — all four of us. Me with my ex and he with his girl. We sorted out logistics and I bought a ticket.
I talked to my ex about ground rules, about how we should work together and that she will stay at my place overnight in case any aftercare is desired. We agreed to meet Black Ring and his girl at my place on the night and uber to the club together.
On the night, she came to my place and got dressed up. Shortly thereafter Black Ring and his girl arrived. I poured some drinks and the girls sat together to socialise. My ex pulled a set of tarot cards and they did readings together (that’s one of my chick crack tools I use on house dates; the chick love of tarot, astrology, etc., and that love shows why so few of them become engineers, etc.). I played some music on my home DJ setup—I am an amateur DJ and record collector. Eventually we packed alcohol, since the club was BYOB, and headed downstairs to catch a cab. While standing a few metres apart from the girl, Black Ring said that my ex has a good figure. When my ex came closer and asked what he said about her and I repeated it word for word.
At the club’s check-in counter I said it is out first visit, so the staff took us and other newbies for a tour. The club itself is in an old townhouse; there are locker rooms downstairs, as well as a bar where we checked in our alcohol. There’s a room with couches for socialising. A few bar tables. A “torture room” with a cross and some BDSM tools. And also a small area with a pole for dancing. In the socialising room there was a TV with some porn pictures slideshow going on. Maybe I will contribute to it one day. The setting puts sex in the mood effectively.
Upstairs there were play rooms: one room with two big beds and a shower, one room with a big bed and two massage tables in the corridor, and one private room—the only where you are allowed to close the door for privacy. And another room with a big bed and a couch beside it.
As soon as we checked in the alcohol at the bar a nude Asian girl approached us and asked to kiss us. Before I could open my mouth, my ex barked “no” for the both of us.
We had a few drinks and I tried to strike up a few conversations with couples, just introducing ourselves. My ex was shy and barely participated. As a side note, we are both really introverted and always had a very small circle of friends, but I am working my socials skills now with daygame, nightgame, and in general. No one teaches social skills in school so I am primarily self-taught as an adult.
A few girls in the “torture room”, including the naked Asian, were taking turns on a cross using a flogger on each other. Shortly thereafter a guy in a face mask started fingering the Asian on a bench there. It looks like this Asian chick was there on her own, but I can’t confirm.
My attempts to talk to people were going nowhere and my ex didn’t do anything to participate in the process. Meanwhile, Black Ring and his girl had a few conversations with couples in the socialising room. Surprisingly, all the people, except weird Indian guy with a small Asian girl, looked really normal. All guys and girls on average were in good shape, and I was worried about it being filled with fat weirdos, but that was not the case.
I asked my ex to do some pole dance moves (she is strong and has taken pole dance classes) but she refused to show off. I told Black Ring’s girl that my ex can pole dance and Black Ring’s girl tried to ask her to do it, but she refused again. Black Ring’s girl told me to put more drinks in my ex. I went to Black Ring, borrowed a Cialis, and swallowed it in the toilet just in case I drink too much alcohol. We had a couple of more drinks — probably too many. Too much drinking is never good and is particularly bad in this environment.
After a short while a stripper with fake tits named Tamara arrived and did a good show on the pole. The end of the show was the obvious transition to the play time. I understand that this sort of thing is common. A few couples undressed and went upstairs, so I suggested we undress; we dropped to underwear and my ex put on a towel.
Upstairs, in one room two couples were already fucking on the same bed. In a room with two big beds, which was empty, I pushed my ex on a bed and started making out, then eating her out with her underwear still on. When I tried to start fucking her, suddenly she demanded a condom. I hadn’t used condoms recently, and I fucked all my Filipino chicks raw (yes, I did get tested afterwards). No worries, I put on the condom and fucked her for a little while. She didn’t cum, I didn’t cum.
Then we stood up and went to check out other rooms. After that I brought her in the private room but didn’t close the door. We started fucking again. I made her squirt on a towel (she does it well) and we continued fucking, but not interacting much with others; from the corner of my eye I noticed someone was watching through the open door. I couldn’t feel much in a condom so I didn’t finish and we went downstairs where she wrapped herself in a towel again.
She had a black lingerie similar to Black Ring’s girl, who had the same type but in red. I pulled her towel in front of Black Ring’s girl to show they wore the same outfit. Black Ring’s girl liked it and tried to talk her into dropping the towel but she refused.
A few people downstairs were having drinks but my attempts to socialise, unlike Black Ring’s, failed as my ex didn’t participate and seemed caught up in her own head. We had one more drink.
We went back upstairs and I fucked my ex on a massage table in a few positions, with another couple fucking on another massage table less than a meter away and two other couples getting it on on the bed. Four couples in the same room. I was surprisingly okay with that and even felt like home in this environment, with the fucking stimulating my own sexuality. It was sublime. She came a couple of times but I still couldn’t finish while in a condom. Black Ring and his girl were elsewhere, and the fucking went for a while. I was enjoying a moment and she was enjoying her orgasms (she was having them at least). Afterwards we went and watch another four couples fucking in yet another room.
We went downstairs again where my ex suggested that the naked Asian chick fuck me. I agreed. Unfortunately the Asian chick got pretty shitfaced and was chilling on the couch so I decided it wouldn’t be a good idea (probably a mistake not to ask). Later, the next day, Black Ring told me that I should’ve fucked that Asian woman and that she would definitely have gone for it. He also mentioned that he made out with her and she was a good kisser.
I told my ex that we should go and approach other people, for a chat at least, but she refused. Then she said that I can go and fuck anyone I want. I told her that I am a guy and for a guy it doesn’t work that way in the sex club environment, where single guys are specifically forbidden from approaching.
At this point I unfortunately lost my shit and said that we are leaving. This is somewhat embarrassing to admit but it’s also true; many guys want to portray themselves as the heroes of their stories, but in this moment I became the guy who let his emotions take his reason. We got dressed and left. Back at my place, I told her to pack her things and go home. She did.
I regret that we didn’t drink more; my ex loses her inhibitions when sufficiently drunk and likes to lose them. Her personality changes substantially, and she becomes more social and sexual, like a lot of people. She doesn’t feel sick the next day either. I also regret that I didn’t seek the Asian woman out.
Next day I was having boners all days due to Cialis pill but luckily I had a date with a 23 year old half Fijian-Indian half Scottish girl from the Internet that I fucked that night and got all my frustrations out.
I’m going to try going again, because I think the premise is good and the environment is good, but my ex was the wrong person to take. I really appreciate any feedback you might have.
Wrong person, right venue, it sounds like to me.