How she behaves towards other people is one day how she’ll behave towards you

How she behaves towards other people is one day how she’ll behave towards you.

Is she mean to other people?

One day she’s going to be mean to you, probably in the same way she’s mean to others.

Does she like to steal? Does she rationalize stealing?

I’ve run into girls who like taking alcohol from parties, or silverware from restaurants, that kind of thing… they seem proud of it. I haven’t seen the deeper levels of this behavior because the stealing is enough for me to distance myself from them.

Does she somehow always have drama with her friends, bosses, family?

One day she’s going to have drama with you, and by the way the police and courts are going to believe her, not you. Logically you can argue that this is not fair, but it’s true, and you need to protect yourself, not argue about notions of fairness.

Does she spend money poorly or earn money poorly?

One day she’s going to come to you for the money.

Does she tell you stories about kicking out some guy right after sex, for no good reason? Does she tell you stories about being mean to guys who are flirting with her? Those are things that are good to know, because you’re going to be her mean story one day and you should prepare appropriately. If she is proud of being mean to other people, one day she’s going to be proud of being mean to you.

Everyone has moments of untoward behavior, including me. If you somehow made a montage of my worst moments I would look bad. Things are grey, not black and white. But when you are building a model of a woman, or of anyone, take into account the red flags. I have been a low-down dirty dog. I’ve also been very effective and enabled experiences that would otherwise not have happened.

Other people are going to judge you the same way. I have lost people because of my interpersonal proclivities. That’s fine, it’s a cost of being alive and living a full life in my view. I do the things I do and pay the price for them, like we all do. But you should decide who you are and what kinds of things you’ll accept in people and what kinds of things you won’t. If you don’t, you’ll get what you get, and then you’ll bear the costs.

Author: The Red Quest

How can we live and be in society?

4 thoughts on “How she behaves towards other people is one day how she’ll behave towards you”

  1. This is true of men as well.

    I had a mentor who was an executive recruiter for CEO’s and was very successful at it. His approach to vet candidates was to take them out to several dinners. He would say that after 6-8 hours of eating with someone they can’t NOT show you who they are in terms of how they treat the staff. These were senior exec’s.

    Spend the time and watch what people do, not what they say…

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    1. Yes, absolutely.

      The tricky thing is guys who are effective/skilled but also assholes. Sometimes the costs are worth the benefits, depending on role and other factors.

      With a girl who is mean… I don’t think I wrote “Never f**k her.” But know who she is and keep her at that distance. Know she is dangerous and that you will be the out guy one day.

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    2. “after 6-8 hours of eating with someone they can’t NOT show you who they are in terms of how they treat the staff. ”

      I had a 1st date with a yoga girl from Tinder, before we met it seemed like we’d really click and it’d be a done deal.

      We meet, sit down at a classy patio bar/restaurant after her yoga class. When the wait staff come around, I know she’s giving them a TON of bullshit about not having some fruit I asked for. I told her it’s not a big deal, I don’t need apples or whatever that bad. But she kept on riding their ass about it.

      I don’t need some masculine woman trying to resolve a non-problem for me. It was a real turn off but I probably would have fucked her anyway *if* she made a move.

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  2. Reblogged this on Free Matt Podcasts and commented:
    ***Re-blog from a friend at The Red Quest. As always; I am highlighting others work on the weekend. A lot of what you see in this post applies in real life. Recognizing red flags and screening those in your life. You need to set boundaries and this is a great example of the kind of stuff you need to say “no” to. Take care.***

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