How many marry out of tiredness or desperation?

I wonder how many guys (and girls) get in relationships or marriages not because they really truly want to, but because their dating markets are thin and the courtship process is onerous and annoying.

There’s no way to answer this question, but I bet the number of people who are in relationships because they really truly want to be is smaller than the number of people who are in relationships because they feel they can’t do better, or are tired of flakey chicks, etc. I believe that, subconsciously, I responded well to non-monogamy for a bunch of reasons… one being that it can effectively deal with the large number of flakey chicks out there. One reliable girl is better than 10 flakey ones and if a flakey one shows up on a date with the reliable girl, it’s a win-win.

Get outside of the big cities and you’ll see the dating market get really thin really fast. In that environment, pairing up makes sense, because the good ones won’t be on the market forever. It’s more attractive to be an eternal bachelor in the thicker, dense cities, because there is always new tail around the corner.

Women can think the same thing but the biological clock is working against them to a much greater degree past age 30. So many women in their 30s in the big cities are trending towards spinsterhood because they misuse their valuable assets.

Very few people do things for entirely “rational” reasons (I used to think I knew what “rational” means in general, now I don’t really), and understanding our own internal drives is very difficult.

Author: The Red Quest

How can we live and be in society?

2 thoughts on “How many marry out of tiredness or desperation?”

  1. I think no one is rational all the time. But the closer to rational you are, the smarter you are.

    Re body clocks.. women have biological clocks while men have financial clocks. Steve harvey said it.

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  2. Question asked and answered… For anyone in any doubt, ask yourself how many couples can you think of that get married, each having chosen one of many suitors? Tom Brady and Giselle… I mean people you have actually met that you watched move from flirting with multiple attractive people to enjoying pairing up. I can think of a handful. Several out of all the people I know. More in my parents generation than in my own though. The vast majority latch onto whomever they can both attract and halfway tolerate.

    Speaking of vast majorities… If you are talking about women’s biological clock working against them after 30 then you are definitely living amongst the beautiful people. Are you in L.A.? In the city I live in there are a lot of beautiful women, but the vast majority have sexual power in their late teens through about 21 to 24 and then it withers. I walk past hosts of single women who were or are attractive enough – sixes or sevens – meaning you would, and you wouldn’t need a paper bag or three, but due to fat, cigarettes, or just genetics, by the mid twenties you just try not to be sad looking at them.

    I have never been properly married, so the following is in part a matter of me fooling myself regarding my affection for a woman… Still, I have often had my choice of women make themselves sexually available to me, but I have NEVER been in a position where I was connected to more than one whom I would actually consider marrying. A woman that is young, attractive, attracted to me, single, and actually is a pleasure to be around, to talk to, or just to spend idle time with… and who would be responsible enough to care for children… I have occasionally met them. And I don’t feel desperate when I am with them; there is the illusion of choices being available. But once we part the difficulty of finding a replacement becomes painfully apparent.

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