The best and most actionable advice and guidance for guys looking to build their game and become players is private… it’s happening in group chats, emails, etc. It’s not happening in public, where some advice is good, some is bad, and a lot is too general, happening at the wrong “level” of abstraction. The public sphere has a lot of good and useful information in it, particularly for the newest guys who are learning the basics, but each guy has specific challenges, sticking points, etc., and those guys need targeted aid. In addition, each guy has different internal psychological challenges, and those internal challenges are very hard to self-diagnose… if they were easy, we’d not have the entire field of psychology. Almost all of us want to protect our own egos and so turn away from difficult truths… me included. To be the best, however, we need to get feedback on our challenges and to ultimately confront them. Improvement comes from doing what’s uncomfortable. Small group dynamics can’t be replicated by individuals or by large groups.
Write your player blog. It’s an advertisement, but not in the way you think. To get into the deeper levels, you need to show that you’re not an idiot (many guys are idiots or have other underlying issues) and that you’re willing to put in the effort necessary to make progress. Write your player blog and reach out to the guys who don’t seem to be idiots. That’s where the better ideas, peer-to-peer coaching, encouragement, etc. happen. You likely won’t get into the substantive and specific conversations without some demonstration that you’re not an idiot first. The blog is that demonstration. It’s hard for a lunatic to write a sustained story of his actions and progress so far. I’ve read blogs by guys who appear to be nuts and I appreciate those blogs… because they warn me to avoid the guy. I try to be understanding and accepting of individual quirks and proclivities, but I also want to identify the nuts so I can be somewhere they are not.
The blog need not be “unique,” a concern some guys appear to have… write about what you’re doing, what’s happening to you, what you notice with chicks, etc. Even a blog about blowouts is more interesting than what most guys do (nothing, or repeating platitudes, or writing vaguely about why this one special girl isn’t into them, etc.). Most guys don’t get the feedback they need to improve. Don’t overthink the blog, start it with whatever you’ve got. For most, starting is the hard part.
This is a kind of “do as I say, not as I do” moment of advice. I have spent most of my time as a player struggling to learn things on my own instead of accelerating my learning by tapping into the advice/guidance of others. It has worked out okay for me, but I could have done better and probably should have. I also didn’t realize that the material that rises to the level of blogs, or twitter, is only a small amount of that which remains in private chats.
I’m going to be a bit arrogant and say that I am better at this than most guys, yet I am still amazed at the s**t other guys come up with. There are many guys much better at this than I am, too. Some of them are writing publicly… I include many of their blogs in the links panel… and I bet almost all of them will have more specific and detailed advice in private than they do in public. But they, like me, don’t want to waste time on wankers. Most of the guys I have been speaking to in private, I have also been reading in public for months or years.
Consider this story… in college when that happened, I was operating by instinct and didn’t really know what I was doing… I think that is one reason I encourage guys to write online… most guys have no idea what we’re doing… game gives us a framework. To take my work specifically, with sex clubs, almost no one is writing about this topic. Non-mono more generally is covered by a handful of people, including me, and now from Yoylo and Magnum at times… and that’s it… it’s invisible to most players, and misunderstood by others. The guys who stumble into it, are doing it by accident (I have some examples of this but they have been sent to me in private… I don’t disclose private information). We need to turn game from lore into a proper program, a proper course of study. I’ve attempted to make “players doing sex clubs” into a proper program.
THE GAME and MYSTERY METHOD turned seduction from lore into a proper program… and they are still valuable… I am seeking to do the same… I would not have been able to do this without starting the blog… now I hope that others will take up the ideas and extend/apply it. It can be done. The lows are low… but the highs are high.
Good blog writers show themselves to be engaging, learning, and practicing their trade… bad ones reveal themselves as followers and fools. Interacting with chicks a lot generates the best ideas/stories: you see something, you hear something, you report back on it… it’s like trying to be a reporter who goes out and talks to people on the scene versus one who never leaves the office. One person is going to generate a lot of good insights and the other person is not. Bogus players write platitudes about cultivating “inner game” or write about how “not to back down” or give repeated, fifth-hand advice about “body language.” Guys who have something valuable to say write about this one girl they were talking to and how that went, and why they think it worked or didn’t work. I became friends with Red Pill Dad because of his blog, whereas his Twitter feed was too scattered to judge him. I think he judges me on this blog, like he should.
Interacting with chicks generates the best material.
Blog for yourself… but blog for other people… it’s worth doing even if no one reads it. At first, you’ll get almost no traffic and no readers. Over time, readers will emerge and find you organically through search. That is how we build awareness and a movement, and this is how we have a conversation that can’t happen any other way. Reddit has effectively banned this conversation. No one wants to have it on Facebook, under real names, because it’s so dangerous and so contrary to the social order. Feminists have taken over the public discourse about sex, sex roles, dating, etc., by having independent conversations, one whacked-out lunatic at a time. We don’t want to be like whacked-out feminist lunatics, but we do want to inject some reality into the world. I have heard from guys who stumbled onto Red Quest… then used the links in the side bar to see what others are saying/writing/thinking… and it’s changed their lives. You can change someone’s life. This only really happens in blogs. Twitter is almost invisible to search, and it’s very now: what you say on Twitter no longer matters, three days after you say it. Reddit’s Red Pill is now “quarantined” and thus has been de-indexed by search engines. It’s up to all of us, as individuals, to carry the story forward. I’m helping to make this conversation happen, but I’m one man: for it to happen, you need to speak up too. If not you, who?
Overall, “Most guys don’t care much about getting laid, I hypothesize,” and that’s a key reason many guys aren’t telling their story.
15 thoughts on “Write your player blog. It’s an advertisement, but not in the way you think.”
Hi Red. Been reading your blog for about 5 months and find the information you provide very useful (as I have with others you mentioned – Magnum, Blackdragon; and others not mentioned here – Days of Game, Yohami, Mr. V, and the list goes on). I’ve always been a very private person, so the concept of blogging my adventures hasn’t appealed to me. However, I understand your assertion that in order to gain trust from others in the community, they need to know you’re not a “wanker” as you put it. I feel my game is strong, but can still improve (as we should all strive to do). One of the things that could help the most is meeting others in the community who have the same mindset and like to hang out together. However in SF, I feel that the masculine men are sorely lacking in numbers and hard to find. It sometimes feels like a wasteland out here in that respect. But, you’ve given me some food for thought about posting more and getting feedback. Hopefully, I can also meet some of you guys IRL and have a drink together some day. Cheers
>>One of the things that could help the most is meeting others in the community who have the same mindset and like to hang out together
Pretty much every guy you list has met other guys through writing. You can reach out to those guys individually but you (like any guy) are hard to judge without a longer body of work and some description of your own journey. It will be hard to get connected with other guys unless you do that. It doesn’t matter if you are just starting and getting a lot of frustration and blowouts (if that is your reality talk about it) or are getting laid a lot (if that is your reality talk about that).
I’ve heard from guys living in SF and doing game. Start your blog and they will find their way to you.
This post has inspired me to start a blog!
Cool. When it launches, I’ll follow.
I love your writing and insights. I just started my players blog journey. I have a lot to learn and I think this blog will really help me grow as a player and a writer. Thank you for the inspiration!
You’re welcome… I will subscribe to yours.