A player I know has discovered a coven of group sex and open relationship people near him. Some of the players are quite wealthy and have oriented their lives around this activity, buying yachts and getting hotel rooms and pimping out their living spaces to make it all happen (the yacht thing isn’t necessary, but I guess it’s a nice touch if you have the cash… I don’t, and I don’t really move in those circles… though I know they exist… so don’t get caught up in that side alley, whining about income). The player almost can’t believe this thing exists, but I can believe it because I have seen versions of it. Non-monogamy and sex clubs become an ecosystem. It’s possible to rack up incredible numbers through this, if it is a guy’s goal to do so.
Let me try to explain it, from my interactions. I have been at the periphery of this kind of thing but have not been interested in going all the way, into making this the sole and entire focus of my non-work life… a lot of the guys at the top, doing penthouses and boats, are quite a bit older and as a result are not with the chicks who most interest me, but that is not universally true. These guys (and some women)….
* Go to clubs/events most weekends, or on vacations. There’s an international circuit of people doing this.
* Network with the people they meet. It’s not that much different than business networking except it’s more emotional and obviously instead of business relationships you are probing, establishing, and maintaining sex relationships. The social aspect of this is important and easy to do poorly. Outsiders think you just show up, bang/mate, then separate, like lizards or something. Not really, not if you’re doing it well.
* For guys who want younger/hotter chicks, the trick is finding them. They do show up, by the way. They are just uncommon and in demand, obviously. Guys can maintain decent sexual value into their 40s and even early 50s, if they want. For women, SMV begins to drop seriously at 30. Supply-demand is real.
* When you have more girls than you can handle (it happens) and are friends with more couples than you can handle, you begin doing parties. Six eight ten twelve people, sometimes more, invite them over and suddenly you are the host and you have the status that comes with being the organizer. Leaders have status… it’s polite to thank the host.
* If you have the money and space to host great parties people will like you better. Chicks are super sensitive to environment and emotional cues, while most guys will happily f**k hot chicks in any available conditions. Dirty sheets, plates in the sink, whatever, guys will happily f**k a hot chick who will bend over there. Chicks are much more attuned to lighting, cleanliness, mood, etc. So if you can just buy the booze and weed, set up the mirrors / beds, get superior lighting (Philips Hue, don’t cheap out here if you can avoid it), etc., then people will be more likely to want to attend your things. So hosting can be the next step, for guys who are established in the community.
* Really rich guys will buy boats, penthouse apts, penthouse hotel rooms, etc.
It can also take a lot of money to do this. Renting space, arranging things, etc. Most guys aren’t determined to maximize the amount of sex they have, and you can tell as much from their behavior. The chicks who have these fantasies and desire these things will like guys who can activate their fantasies and execute them in a safe and controlled environment. Most chicks also need aftercare, etc. They want to bond, not just be sex toys who are going to be discarded after the event. Many guys wrongly neglect aftercare, cuddling, etc.
Some other things about this big ecosystem…
* Chicks vary in their propensity to engage…. some are super scared, some are pretty eager. Find the eager ones and reassure the scared ones. Obviously a lot of chicks have group sex fantasies, are curious about how other people f**k, etc., but will not explore those without guys to guide them. Be that guy and find other guys who are non-judgmental, etc.
* If you fully enter and connect to this world you might be astonished by the fact that it is larger than you know… just most people are smart enough not to advertise they’re into it… the social judgment is too intense. Smart chicks also know that their sexual reputation is linked to their ability to marry high income men, so they don’t want to be known, in most cases, as a girl who does these things, because that will impact their ability to marry and have children, when they want those things. You’ll also find business connections in the places you might not expect to find them. Things that start about business often end up being about sex… and things that start about sex often end up being about other things.
* The people in this world are pretty discriminating, especially when it comes to guys. Many more guys want to get in it than chicks. Even guys who think they want to get in, typically can’t handle it. Getting into this world requires people in both sexes who can handle it. Lots of people (guys included) form quick emotional attachments to their sex partners and then want to monopolize those partners… even if they fantasize about this world, it doesn’t work. People who are doing events will monitor newcomers for negative and positive traits and guys (or chicks) who can’t handle it will not be invited into the higher tiers of things. Sufficiently badly behaved people will be booted, although this is rare.
In life you are always being judged and always proving yourself.
Real question is…… eventually……. how do you want to live your life?
Most people who learn about this world discover they do not want to spend their lives immersed in it. Just like most guys seem to have about four to five good years in the game… but the people who do keep it up can have experiences few others do.
This no doubt sounds like a lot of work, but… a lot of work compared to what? I know people, even employed people, who spend 20+ hours per week on video games and Instagram, etc. Is this a worse hobby? Think about the things people you know do when they’re not working… is this better? Worse? Would you rather be f**king or leveling up your level 29 wizard? Would you rather be getting beers with “friends” from the office or f**king a hot chick?
These things are not very compatible with very young child family life, and a lot of people with kids are too tired to pursue them. As the kids get older it becomes more possible to pursue them but most people in western countries let themselves go, get fat, and get outcomes consistent with their weight, fatness, lifestyle, and sugar intake.
A lot of guys with high numbers also don’t have consistently high quality, so there’s that.
Some guys spend a lot of time building up their non-monogamy ecosystem and once the machine starts, it purs along. I’m trying to help guys get started and to understand the underlying principles at work. I think the book does that well.