Women having affairs never make you use a condom.
I met “Carol” in a coffeeshop, where she was reading uncommonly cerebral things for a hot chick. I think I have a pavlovian response to coffeeshops, because I’ve done well in them with picking up chicks. And if I don’t, there’s still the sublime reward of coffee or tea. I’ve never been a mass cold-approach daygamer, although I admire them. Friendly chitchat about her work morphed to a tenuous connection between my girlfriend and similar work. We traded numbers. The four of us had dinner a bunch of times. Normal dinners. Like friends. Except it’s noticed that I like to be friends with the prettier girls… it’s true, but I deny it. Coincidence.
The easiest and most straightforward way to start an affair is to already have a girlfriend, wife, or partner. When you first meet the other woman, she knows you are taken (“taken”). You are not a serious threat, at first, but if you exude sexuality and sexual energy, you will not be a boring herbivore either. Red Pill Dad recently wrote about how, as a young man, he hid his dick and consistently failed to escalate. He had all the makings of a chad thundercock, except the ability to execute and the killer instinct most players have. He wasn’t an herbivore grass-eater, I’d judge, but he made critical mistakes… and those mistakes explain why older guys have a decent shot with many hot young chicks, cause guys their own age lack edge and the ability to escalate into her p***y. I’m not going to write out how to exude sexuality, read the rest of the totality of The Red Quest if you wish to find answers. Sometimes, if you merely keep escalating, you will escalate a compliant but distant girl into bed. Many girls have bad game and make their own mistakes.
The woman knows that bringing around a new single man will make trouble with her man. She usually won’t do that, although if she has a “work husband” or something, she may be willing to consummate that relationship. But another couple… that is a safe, stable arrangement. In chemistry, nature prefers stable arrangements of elements and electrons. In human relationships, single people tend to gravitate together, as do people in relationships, as do people with kids, etc. Many single people in their 30s feel lonely because their friend group has escalated into another phase of life, while they’re still trying to get laid. The mechanics of their relationship change. Their friends’s apartments/houses are child proof, and their friends don’t have the energy. The best way to hang out with those friends is to bring over substantial dinner and don’t demand extensive energy expenditure, because people with kids don’t have it. They have other things, like a fundamentally meaningful life… but not the energy to relentlessly hit the bars. Even a seemingly committed player like Paul Janka can quit the game to pursue fundamental interests.
I’ve read many accounts written by players but none, that I know of, focus on the mechanics and execution of affairs. They are too hard and rare for any guy to focus on them. I don’t focus on them, but they’re insanely hot when they can be pulled off. They’re the space away from reality, and everyone in them expects only one thing: hot hot sex. No, two things: the hot sex and also discretion. Discretion, transgression. If she’s in a relationship too, she’s incentivized to be discreet, as are you. Affairs with single chicks are truly dangerous, so it’s better to pursue them as threesomes. Not that I’ve always followed this rules.
Affairs are dangerous, because a lot of married/taken women will flirt hard with a guy who is also married/taken, because the women like the frisson of flirting, but the women are also pretty secure in the knowledge that the guy isn’t going to take it farther. Unless he does. The danger makes them hot (“Notwithstanding the problems of definition and the vague statistics, the consensus among social scientists is that the incidence of infidelity has been rising in recent decades. This is mostly attributed to the fact that modern life has increased and democratized the opportunities for illicit sex”). You never know how she’ll respond when you cross that line. She might flip out and confess to her husband. She might say no but be pleased by the attention. She might go all the way. If she does, she won’t make you use a condom, for the most part. I had a scare (thrill, really) with a married woman, early 40s but still surprisingly hot, who wasn’t using contraception, and I was bare inside her, and as she was starting to come, she kept saying, “Don’t stop,” so I didn’t… and as she finished she contracted around me and I finished… afterward she kept saying, “That was so dumb,” and I told her, “It will be fine, don’t worry about it.” Except she was late, and then she was fretting, and when she was on the verge of telling her husband the news/possibility (it wouldn’t have been impossible for it to be his, but the timing was right for it not to be, and he’s a low sex drive guy…), she got her period/miscarried. She already had one and officially didn’t want another. But then… what was she doing with me inside her? We’d f**ked before and I’d switched to using a condom, but she’d gotten too close and was too turned on at that moment.
With the one I started talking about, she seemed to be in a good marriage, but it was an early marriage, and she also seemed to like/want more. I’d talked to her about mdma, and one afternoon/early evening she was free, and I was free, and although I couldn’t do it with her, she tried some… we met at a hotel… she knew what that meant, I think… I love and hate the tension of waiting for a chick to show up for such a rendezvous… wondering if she’s going to change her mind… if she’s going to get there, pretend innocence, and run away… but this one went right through with it. She loves pain, too. I asked, “Are you sure you want me to leave marks?” She said, “I don’t care, do it.” Another one who doesn’t care in the moment, when she’s turned on, but does later, when she’s thinking about the rest of her life. Quiet during sex. Makes a cute “oh” when she’s hit, or when she’s coming. Most of them are nosier. Where does the copulatory cry instinct come from? Is it an effort to summon other males? Something else? It’s so common that it must have some evolutionary payoff. Nice shave that shows she’d been planning in advance too. Probably. I don’t know what will happen with her. A one-off, I think. I’d told her about and given her some of the books, like Esther Perel, that prepped her mind and soul to make the leap. I dunno, I could just have been overcooking her, and she was ready without any of the talk and prep work. Logistics are hard, but the hardness of them increases the satisfaction, I suspect. Much later that night I had to f**k again and barely had it in me… I pled exhaustion, which wasn’t strictly speaking false.
I’m not a complete monster. I’m not Grendel. (I don’t think… reasonable people may disagree.) I don’t have affairs or try to have a fairs with the WAGs (wives and girlfriends) of friends, although I may have been known to blithely say things like, “Life is short. Everyone has affairs….” The kinds of statements that undermine monogamy, put ideas in people’s heads. Sex is more exciting as a teen not just because it’s new, but because you’re almost always getting one over on the girl’s parents, the school, your cockblock friends, her cockblock jealous friends, etc. You’re taking her from her boring home life into an exciting and secret private life. Sex is more exciting when you’re risking her giving you something, something that tells you she’s already had affairs she shouldn’t have.
I don’t know whether Carol will be a repeat or one-off, but I think one-off. Because of sanity, time constraints, and logistics, probably a one-off, or few-off. Like most chicks today, she’s amenable to sex tapes, and I have a fancy new camera that’s seen little real use for this purpose. It generates huge video file sizes, but the cost of storage is worth it for the quality… I bought it, stupidly spending far more than I should have, but my life has changed such that I have very little use/need for it. A common story among amateur photo/video guys… by the time you can afford the fancy gear, your ability to get the hottest chicks, the ones you really want, is waning. Or you have made other life arrangements. You have made stupid decisions regarding investment and compounding interest, in the pursuit of a dream and fantasy that has fleeted past you, for the most part. The money is mostly wasted, because the thing doesn’t give you the life you want: you do. That part of life, when you had no money but many opportunities for erotic art, was then, before the money.
Have you had affairs (I can think of only one player who does, consistently)? Tell your story in the comments.