There’s an embargo on saying “not all sex is good for women,” that you can think critically about how sex affects women, without being right wing or “sex negative.” It therefore becomes easy to be discredited as “not getting it” if you make any critiques of women’s sexual choices (and, perhaps, by implication, the choices of men). Because of the rules of liberal discourse, only women can weigh in on this debate in most media platforms; fortunately, you are not reading “most media platforms” right now. The women-only rule silences 50% of the population, and any woman who doesn’t agree with the pro-sex feminist take gets lumped in with the anti-sex religious nuts. A clever strategy, and yet it hurts us all when we can’t have honest conversations.
I think Default_Friend sees that discourse vacuum as harmful to women, and, simultaneously, that the narrative asserting “more and more sex for women is the only way to be empowered” is disingenuous. She’d like to see that conversation evolve: I feel like she’s pretty coherent in her worldview and consistent in her challenges to the current feminist narrative. She’d likely agree women are the worst slut shamers, and she’d understand why.
Personality Girl and Default Friend have a hilarious podcast with Delicious Tacos, a podcast covering many topics, including how women don’t (maybe can’t) understand what life and horniness as a man is like, alcoholism, writing, groupies, face, sociopathy, work, and Houellbecq (the key philosopher of the last 50 years, no one else who hasn’t done pr0n counts). My replies are disjoint and won’t make sense without listening to the podcast.
Hot, emotionally mature girls aren’t on the market much and aren’t drunk or snorting coke. Guys with alcohol or substance abuse problems are attracting girls who will accept those, and it’s dangerous to draw conclusions from that biased sample… I try not to generalize too much about women based on the women I’ve been with in the last ten years, because most of them are at the very least curious about or accepting of non-monogamy, while women who want a conventional family and children aren’t going to put up with that shit. Delicious Tacos lives in L.A. (all the normal girls stay out of California). The conversation is a very big city conversation, cause normal girls who want a husband and family live in the midwest, or Texas, or Florida, or any place that it’s possible to live a middle-class existence and have a family… they’re not in the big famous cities. That’s where the sluts are, and the people who can’t afford to have kids, so they might as well do all sorts of weird sex things. I’m one of them, I’m talking about my own here, but I’ve also spent lots of time in smaller cities where women in their 20s walk around with their children in strollers and their husbands next to them. Most of them are 10 – 40 lbs overweight, which is gross, but that’s where they are.
Despite all that I have a piece coming up in the next month or two about how I was dumb to not have figured out mdma earlier in my life, cause, used judiciously, that’s where many of the easy lays are. Lots of hot chicks lack personality, or drive, or the ability to admit the sex they want and get it, and need some external aid to get there. Trying to talk to a lot of hot girls age 18 – 24 isn’t easy, cause their knowledge base consists of inane gossip and an interest in drinking and drugs. That’s it. It’s hard to build commonality from that. Solution? A lot of conversation that uses The Game + insinuations of drinking/drugs now, or in times to come. I should’ve learned this earlier… in many ways I’m a slow learner.
Very true: pussy begets more pussy. Absolutely. Sex clubs are apotheosis of this. DT gets this. He says something like, the difference between 0 pussy and 1 pussy is a million times greater than 1 and 2, and pretty much everything in game is about moving from 0 to 1. Red Quest might be less interesting cause it’s mostly about moving from 2 to a million, via sex clubs + non-monogamy.
Agree that guys who get a lot fuck a lot of chicks, almost all of varying quality levels.
Delicious Tacos should get a counseling degree and do counseling for men. He’d be great at it, and he’d get out of the corporate grind office job, become more of a prophet than he already is. I’d refer guys to him. “You want to get laid, get your life in order? Talk to this guy, Delicious Tacos.” Would he be popular, though? Most therapists seem to need to take 20 sessions to get to the obvious, because they have to wait for the person they’re talking to to get to the idea on their own… I think Delicious Tacos would be like, “Your family’s fucked up, go learn the deadlift, and get in touch with your feelings that way.” If more guys mastered the deadlift and pullup we’d have less need for therapy.
His voice is peculiarly similar to mine, as are many of his life experiences, although I’ve never had alcohol or substance abuse problems… although I have been accused of being a sex addict (DT discusses “sex addicts” on the podcast). I don’t think I am, though, because I usually have some standards, and after I get my fill I go read a book or whatever.
He says that he used to get groupies when he showed his face… but then he sadly got doxxed… I’ve speculated to other guys that, to build a bigger following it’s necessary to show some proof-of-lay and become a public figure. Krauer and Tom Torero did that. Andy from Kill Your Inner Loser has done the same. I don’t think I care enough to want to take red quest to the next level that way, but it’s useful to hear ideas echoed. Like Balaji says, “we’re going to need to build a pseudonymous economy, where over the medium to long term, you separate out your real name, your earning name, and your speaking name. And in fact, you have multiple earning names and multiple speaking games, just like you have multiple usernames at different sites.” Balaji goes on,
The Graphic Designer Who Hates Making the First Move is a universal story of a woman who can’t or won’t make the first move: she finds a guy she likes, “I think he’s cute and wish he’d just make the move and ask me out. I don’t get it.” Why doesn’t she make the first move? She doesn’t say. About another guy, she says, “I could ask him out myself, but I really want someone to take the lead and I want to be pursued.” Despite what you’ve heard from feminist teachers in schools, despite the bullshit you may have imbibed from the media, women are passive and won’t make the first move. I’ve written before about this phenomenon. Women are passive, men are active (if you are a woman and are angry about this sentence, you don’t need to be angry at me… just act differently, and convince other women to as well: actions > words). As a man, it’s your job to make it happen, and it will almost certainly remain your job as long as men and women exist. Eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap, so, if you’re a man reading this, you’re going to need to be the actor, not the acted upon.
Sure, you may have heard women say “Ew, I can’t believe that guy hit on me.” Guess what? She’s making a female social power play, by saying that she’s so desirable and popular that she routinely rejects guys. That’s her game. Or, she considers the guy to be below her level (this always happens). The other day, I was walking along a strip of bars near me, and there was this woman, cute, wearing an outfit that was like 55% business / 45% T&A, skirt that was almost too short, tits almost hanging out too much, and I opened her with, I don’t know, something about business, something about the time of day, and she said something like, “Ew, no.” Or maybe just “No,” I don’t remember exactly, but it was an uncommonly cold rejection, particularly for a woman dolled up like she was.
And it doesn’t matter, the rejection, I mean.
Most women will be more polite than this one, but the rejection doesn’t matter. I’ve received hundreds like it over my life. That kind of rejection is part of the game, just like the Graphic Designer woman not being able to make the first move is part of the game. Chicks don’t make moves, they select from guys who make moves on them. Feminism hasn’t changed that. Chicks getting jobs hasn’t changed that. Claire Lehmann, an uncommonly self-aware and active chick, tweets out, “When is there going to be a story complaining about men not pursuing women in romantic situations? My lived experience is that men making women do all the work is really annoying.” The many stories of me getting laid sprinkled throughout red quest happened because I tried, and risked rejection. That men don’t understand this properly today is pathetic, but I blame it on low masculinity in society more generally, and a failure of older guys to teach younger guys how to be guys.
Are you going to be a guy who f**ks, which means you endure some rejection, or are you going to be a guy who jerks off, which means you don’t pursue women because you’re scared some woman will be mean to you?
The Graphic Designer story has one other game-relevant moment, “sometimes I swipe and match just to feel something. I could easily make a move and ask one of them out, but something is holding me back.” A very large number of chicks are on swipe apps for attention. Prefer meeting chicks in real life. As more people become social ret**ds who can’t interact with other people in real life, the value of that skill increases.
Yes, sometimes chicks will be mean… but you don’t know who she is until you try. There’s an extreme deficit of “trying” in our society, and an extreme excess of people saying why something won’t work or whatever. The doers still reap the rewards. More often, chicks will appreciate the male attention, if it’s calibrated and if the guy can accept “no,” which will be the most common response, even among chicks who like the attention.
“If it’s calibrated” is key. If it’s not, you’ll eventually have problems with managers, police, and so on… justifiably, too. If you have those kinds of problems, it’s time to seek out a therapist or psychiatrist who specializes in developing social skills for men. They exist. Their services are needed, but the guys who most need them are often the guys who least realize how much their services are needed.
I promised myself I’d stop linking to these often-vapid NYMag sex diary stories, but they’re such perfect examples of the schizophrenic state of female discourse that I feel compelled to link them. Until someone finally put into words the basic idea that “chicks are random,” I couldn’t properly distill a fundamental, important part of the game. But I keep linking these NYMag sex diaries cause they point to another fundamental issue, that chicks still like being feminine and want guys to be masculine. They agree with a lot of red pill and pickup advice. A veneer of “I’m a feminist!” can’t overcome millions of years of choosy females and randy, pushy males.