My in-person game is generally pretty terrible (i.e. cold approach), but from time to time situations arise organically that make me feel comfortable hitting on girls in public spaces. Last summer, we had street shutdowns that essentially turned into 24/7 block parties. On Friday and Saturday nights, people would come out and gather, and there was a guy who used to run a mobile DJ unit, dragging around a PA system on a little trolley. DJs die after a sufficient period of time without music and attention, like an animal denied water, so I understood why he did what he did. I’d befriended him after multiple run-ins in different parks, joining in on his impromptu dance parties. I saw him playing and called out to him as he was walking away with two girls in tow, though it was early for a threesome. I was with a small crew of around 8 people just out and about drinking and enjoying ourselves on the streets. The DJ and I began chatting and immediately the two girls with him started berating me for not wearing a mask. For clarity, I’m pro-mask, pro-vax, but within reasonable contexts. By last summer, it was clear that being outside was totally safe without masks, especially with the low COVID #’s where I was.
That said, I’m almost as annoyed by the blindly pro-mask as I am by the blindly anti-mask. I love to fuck with people (hence this website, and me being on Twitter), so my knee-jerk reaction was to go into character as an anti-mask Trump nut. I like this character even more given that my outward appearance makes it confusing for people. I began ranting about how masks were stupid and that COVID was a hoax created by the government to control people. I have become a particular fan of the rhetorical style of a now-famous whistleblower who goes by the moniker “Q” and whose identity remains anonymous. I sprinkled in some lines like, “follow the money”. “Who benefits”. “The storm is coming”. And tried not to break character or laugh for a good five minutes. Think of Sasha Baron Cohen as Da Ali G or Borat. Being good liberals, they took this as an opportunity to engage with a lost sheep and see if they could bring him back to the flock. Eventually I couldn’t keep the comedy going and dropped the rhetoric. This would probably fit into the idea of “push-pull.” There was an immediate connection once I started speaking normally and explained the nuances of my view, that I didn’t feel the need to wear a mask outside but did wear one indoors in public spaces. I could’ve said, “Masks are like condoms, everyone says they always use them, but will make an exception this one time.” They were both Indian doctors, and so were pro-authority and erring on the side of caution, and they believed I needed to show data to prove that wearing a mask was safe, while I viewed the proof as self evident based on the lack of a spike in cases post BLM protests (I wonder if gonorrhea cases rose: protesting seems to have a strong hookup component, after the protest). As this debate evolved, a few pieces of logistics fell into place.
I was out with my girlfriend, and we generally have a soft rule of not picking people up in front of the other person, but I noticed her intentionally giving me space, so read this as a sign that she was ok with it (she understands that a lot of uptight Indian chicks need to get fucked, experience a part of life that’s not covered by an exam). Additionally, a friend of mine who is married and never flirts with women entered my conversation and sort of paired up with the friend of the one I was mainly talking to: the famed two set!
Organically, the foursome broke up into two conversations naturally and space was created for both of us to flirt with the girl we were talking to. After such a strong hook, our conversation flowed naturally and at some point I asked if she’d remove her mask for a moment so I could see her face. Surprisingly, this was an intensely erotic and intimate moment, probably like a Saudi couple getting married, and that 15-month period between marriage and both of them getting fat. The moment reinforced how cultural the things we eroticize are. That I hadn’t seen many women’s faces in public in so long, and the fact that she was only showing me her face made her acceptance feel incredibly sexy and connecting. Additionally, she was stunningly beautiful and it felt taboo that she had shown me her face despite telling me that it was actually her friend who was the real pro-mask nut and that she couldn’t let her friend see her taking the mask off. I got her # and promised to be in touch the next day for a daytime date. My girlfriend was clever/kind enough not to make it obvious that we were together for the rest of the time she was with us.
The next day was a gorgeous summer day and we met up in a large park with plans to go for a walk. I immediately mentioned to her that I was in a relationship as she had asked my friend the night before if I was single and he tactfully avoided the question. What a bro! She was very curious how the open relationship thing worked and (as usual) it was a great vehicle to move the conversation to sexual topics. Being Indian, she was relatively sexually conservative but very comfortable asking questions and talking frankly about sex and sexuality. She was voyeuristic. The conversation moved to bisexuality, sex parties, orgies, anal sex, and pretty much everything she was curious about but hadn’t had the opportunity to try.
Initially she had voiced that she was not open to dating someone in a relationship, but I could feel her resolve progressively weakening as the opportunity to explore these parts of herself became more and more tangible. We walked back towards her apartment and we returned to the conversation of her openness to dating someone in a relationship. Her resolve returned and she explained that she can’t see more than one person at a time, and that she intuited that she’d spend a lot of mental energy exploring and connecting with me which would take away from her focus of finding a more serious monogamous partner, like her parents wanted her to. As we returned to her apartment, she told me that her friend from the night before had told her that she shouldn’t go out with me because I hadn’t been wearing a mask and was a generally risky person (thank you!), but that she felt compelled to explore the connection. She asked me if I would put a mask on and kiss her through the mask which despite sounding silly was actually an intensely erotic experience. Her insistence on connecting with me despite feeling constrained by her devotion to safety and rule following made me feel highly desired. Sadly, we never saw each other again, but I still think fondly of the experience.