*The Average American Male*, a novel by Chad Kultgen

THE AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE is a novel you should read because, good or bad, it’s different than most novels: most novels are about one of two ridiculous kinds of males: pussy beta males who need to hit the gym and ask the girl out already, or ridiculous fantasy men running around with guns and improbably saving the world. THE AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE is neither… though it’s billed as outrageous, probably I’ve read too much game literature, cause I read it and was nodding along, like “Okay, yeah, I get it, you’re a horny bastard, whatever, I’m well familiar with the ‘shocking’ male mind.” The guy’s got weak game but he tries and doesn’t whine about failures with chicks, not too much. THE GOOD GIRL, my novel, is also different than anything else I’ve read: in it, a player tries to seduce a girl on the streets into the non-monogamy world. The guy from Chad’s novel needs to go hang out with and learn from the guy in my novel: I should do a fan-fic mashup.

The protagonist narrator of THE AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE isn’t named, so we’re going to call him Richard. There are plot “spoilers” of a sort ahead, which don’t matter cause this isn’t a book you read for the plot or to figure out who killed the president, you read it for the voice, and the supposedly outrageous things the narrator says, like… that he wants to fuck the hot chicks he meets, he doesn’t want to fuck the fat ones, and he finds his girlfriend’s parents annoying. What’s he bring, though? Guys who bring things to the world find themselves in better situations, guys who don’t, don’t. Richard seems not to have a job. He seems not to have any special skills or abilities. He’s not trying to develop them, which makes him average, but who wants average? This guy needs non-monogamy, which is how he can try to f**k as many chicks as he’d like. Watching him attempt to date is like watching a six year old attempt to build a house, nothing works. I know how to build the house. I know how to do non-monogamy. That’s what this guy, who’s kind of a bitch, needs to learn. Watching some idiot struggle and flail… it’s a bit painful. Funny, but painful. He’s at a stage I passed many years ago, and am now helping other guys pass, if they so desire. I’m not selling coaching but the magic & method of what I do is in the free book. Most guys lack the skills they need, that Richard needs, but there’s no excuse for that in the age of knowledge.

Richard’s girlfriend Casey “has a fat ass. She’s a pretty cute brunette with a completely normal upper body.” Ass too fat? Go to the gym with her (Richard tries, mostly fails, she does light curls and calls it a day). Switch to zero sugar. Watch less TV, go for more walks. Richard’s complaining about his ineffective girlfriend but he’s ineffective too. Pot, kettle, black. He’s on a date with another chick, Alyna, and has this conversation,

Once we’re in my car she says, “So what’re we going to do now?” “Whatever you want.”

The need for game education is high and remains high: this guy needs to lead. The girl improbably says, “I want to see where you live.” That’s what chicks say in novels and TV shows, not as much in real life, when they rely on male guidance to get laid and get shit done. With Casey, his girlfriend, “When Casey has her period she refuses to suck my dick and she’s very uncomfortable with fucking.” He’s set weak expectations here, with the no-dick-sucking thing. He sets weak expectations and gets weak outcomes. Early in the relationship, he needs to say, “I’m a horny man and I need to get off routinely. If you aren’t down with that, we aren’t going to work.”

He mocks stuff related to Oprah, or Oprah magazine, or both, but: find better targets, dude. The cheap shots are boring. Stop eating grilled cheese and prefer women who don’t eat grilled cheese, a child’s food. “We eat lunch every Saturday at the California Pizza Kitchen”—no. Don’t. Make lunch. “We’re at Johnnies New York Pizzeria on Sunset”—no. More simple carbs. “I’m at Todd’s house in Toluca Lake. We’ve been playing Madden for a few hours”—no. I can go on like this. He plays Halo for hours at a time, just like most winners do (if every guy you know plays tons of video games, are you a winner? Are you hanging out with winners? Why or why not?) For Richard, he wakes up “with that awful empty feeling you get when you realize the person who can make you happier than anything is a fucking dream.” He’s got everything wrong, there, like trying to solve a physics problem with the wrong equation and the wrong conception of reality. He’s got the narcissism problem of thinking it’s someone else’s destiny to make him happy. What’s he doing to make anyone else happy? Is it about what you do for others, or about what others do for you? Functional people have a good balance between those. Narcissists ask only what others can do for them. A real life partner isn’t possible for them, because real people are never perfect. Richard wonders “if I’ll ever fuck a bitch who’s unbelievably hot.” I’ve done it, it’s great, I recommend it to friends, after you do it you’re still you the next morning. He wonders if he’ll fuck that bitch who’s unbelievably hot but doesn’t ask himself why an unbelievably hot bitch would want to fuck him. He’s a man expert at asking the wrong questions. Unlike they say at school, there are dumb questions. He needs less celebrity culture and more Yitang Zhang.

Richard’s game is abysmal. Read this for seeing anti-game in action. THE AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE understands that it’s possible to be a pretty worthless person and get laid a lot today, as we see with some bartenders who lift and other such guys who don’t produce much marginal value but manage to score top pussy. It’s also possible, too possible, to be an engineer advancing the state of humanity and barely able to get a girl’s attention. The men who notice this are susceptible to reading the red pill and seduction literatures, looking for answers not to be found in the mainstream, which caters to women. When the mainstream fails, it’s necessary to create your own institutions and media, which red pill has attempted, love it or hate.

What does Richard have? Not much, apart from being born in the USA, which is like being born on third base and thinking you’ve hit a triple. He’s got a functional dick, which is useful. But he plays those worthless video games I mentioned a few paragraphs back (I count at least five instances) and eats a ton of simple carbs and junk food, so he’ll be as fat as the chicks he disdains soon enough. He doesn’t try hard, yet gets above average outcomes (Alyna is an above average outcome for most men), which is the fantasy in the book: you can be a boorish anti-social dad bod and still get hot 21-year-old redheads. Right. I mean does it happen? Sure. Common outcome? Ofc not. I want him to know game, to have read THE GAME, despite the book having come out only two years after THE GAME. It’s set in LA and mentions Hollywood. Guys leading good lives have purpose and pursue that purpose effectively. They do something to solve problems. Humanity is full of problems needing solutions. Women usually don’t solve problems because they’re psychologically inclined towards raising children and gossiping (the exceptions are wonderful, thank you Katalin Karikó).

He shops with chicks, almost always a mistake unless she’s going to fuck you in the changing room. If you must shop with chicks, lingerie and swimsuits only. You’re not her girlfriend and shopping is a horrible activity, and people for whom “shopping” is a true pleasure are to be avoided: they are filling the hole in their souls with consumer goods and it never works.

At the end, hot piece Alyna has degraded into the same situation as Casey was at the start, implying the Buddhist concept of saṃsāra, “a Sanskrit/Pali word that means ‘world'” and which encapsulates the cycle of life, in which patterns repeat and recur. I’m sure Chad was thinking of samsara specifically. At the start, Richard is listless with Casey and annoyed about her uneven sexual output, which won’t improve after marriage (they never get thinner after the wedding, either). He’s operating in the world of 2007, though, so non-monogamy doesn’t occur to him. He needs to have read THE RED QUEST and to have realized that monogamy doesn’t work for him and doesn’t work for the poor chicks who’re as bored with him as he is with them (chicks tolerate boredom better “for the relationship”). Solution? Take them to fuck clubs. He’s missing key information, like early natural philosophers were missing calculus, a theory of air as a medium, etc. Without proper intellectual tools it’s hard to make progress, and Richard needs the intellectual tools I’ve developed and am distributing under an open source model. Many guys fail due to inadequate knowledge and he is one of them. He should read my book SEX CLUBS, NON-MONOGAMY, AND GAME, maybe get coaching from Redpill Dad PUA. That way, from other guys, he’d perceive the way forward toward pussy nirvana. He’s operating at a low level of existence and needs help to reach higher levels. Pussy nirvana and higher levels of existence aren’t to be found at the gay party he hilariously and foolishly goes to… gay parties are orgies. A guy who goes who doesn’t want to suck or be sucked at it should GTFO. Richard’s gay friend thinks maybe Richard will spring but no, he’s not that desperate.

There’s a better way to live, a better way to be… this guy doesn’t know it… maybe he can’t, he never will, which is sad. Jesus is here, in the form of me, showing him the way to the light, but I can’t leap backward into 2007 to help this guy.

Read THE AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE, read THE GOOD GIRL, leave what you think in the comments… be glad it’s not a super blue pill, super turgid book. I don’t accept the worldview, which is sad at its core, but I admire the guy, Chad, for writing it. This is a great book to rave about and hand to any woman you’ve been dating for more than six months. Tell her you love it and can’t wait to hear what she thinks. It’s got moments true to life, like, “All guys know the look of knowing you’re about to get some pussy and that’s the one on Tim’s face when he checks his watch….”

I’m too old for THE AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE, the first chapter is “Christmas with Mom and Dad. Same old bullshit.” Dude, one day mom and dad are going to be dead, and, assuming they love you and you love them, you’re never going to get to express or feel that again. Unless mom and dad are Boomer narcissists, then you’ve never felt normal familial love and flee from it. Chapter two, Chad is “in Denver International Airport watching this old fat bitch eat a cup of yogurt. My blood is boiling.” Look at something else, then, man-baby. Try combat sports, that’ll sap your attention for being unhappy at older women who are committing the sin of… eating yogurt? Focus on something else. Get a better girlfriend, they’re not all the same, Richard wakes up “to a phone call begging me to spend my last days off… shopping at Century City with her.” Say no to shopping with chicks, it’s not hard, I’ve done it regularly. Or get a chick not stupid enough to want to drag her boyfriend shopping.

The depraved, by the standards of the time, sex scenes are banal by today’s standards. “Right after one of her loudest moans she says, ‘Spank me.'” Yeah, that might have been risque in 2007… not so today. He’s pointlessly mean to Casey, doing non-monogamy is the way to be more honest with chicks and set expectations correctly. His apparent slut savior Alyna says, “There’s more to a relationship than sex…” usually a bad sign, and whatever comes after that is likely to be bad, from a man’s point of view. There’s a bunch of cultural mimesis depicted as well.

What purpose does this guy have? I asked before, I’m still wondering it. What is an expert at, that other people aren’t? What’s his area of true specialization? What’s he doing to advance the human condition? If he’s got no skills or purpose, should we emulate him, or only laugh? I did laugh, I’m reading over what I’ve said and realize I sound like I didn’t like the book. I do like it, I did like reading it, could be that I’m missing the joke (not for the first time), but it’s a chronicle of an ineffective man, as a statement of factual observation. Would you want this guy in a foxhole with you, starting a company with you, being your wingman? Do something to solve problems. This guy doesn’t solve anyone’s problems, no wonder he’s dissatisfied.

Let’s look at what the book says of its author: Chad “graduated from the University of Southern California School of Film and Television,” which helps explain some of his lassitude and entitlement… he spent $100k+ on a worthless degree unlikely to pay off, surrounded by spoiled rich kids, all of whom want to be Steven Spielberg but aren’t. The combination of incredible expectations and the reality of a tiny hypercompetitive film industry leads to aspects of Los Angeles’s peculiar and peculiarly curdled culture. His degree is akin to the one the Wall Street Journal recently made fun of, “ ‘Financially Hobbled for Life’: The Elite Master’s Degrees That Don’t Pay Off, Columbia and other top universities push master’s programs that fail to generate enough income for graduates to keep up with six-figure federal loans.” Seriously, check this crazy shit out, “Recent film program graduates of Columbia University who took out federal student loans had a median debt of $181,000. Yet two years after earning their master’s degrees, half of the borrowers were making less than $30,000 a year.”

That’s not far off what USC grads with undergraduate degrees probably experience… this is a guy who’s let himself be scammed by a college, not uncommon but a bad sign overall. If he lets himself be scammed by a college, he might let himself be scammed by women, too right? Someone with Chad or Richard’s worldview, which has been this warped by the education system and personal delusion, is likely to have problems. The entertainment industry is a breeding ground for narcissists. Narcissism is a psychological pathology that rarely recognizes itself. How many will laugh at Chad-Richard, and how many will want to be him? The movie Wall Street was supposed to be a biting satire, and instead it made a generation of guys want to go into finance. Do we see something similar in THE AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE?

Not worth $10, worth about $6 or $7.