Last weekend, I rolled pretty hard with a woman and spent some time wandering a nearby strip of bars, where we chatted with and encouraged a lot of strangers… MDMA can make a person feel intensely social, and we felt a lot of that energy and chose to express it by going out. We also dressed differently than most people, closer to something like this and far from the typical street clothes, dresses, or slacks and collared shirts most people wore. I realized that we were peacocking: being shiny and different, in a way that worked. My companion got most of the attention, which is fine and expected, it’s a shame she’s not bisexual. A bisexual wingwoman in that environment would have killed. Even without being bi, she create and we engendered a lot of positive feelings… we felt at one with the human species, a sense that is hard to cultivate in everyday life. And we felt at one with each other.
Trying to describe the mental state an MDMA roll engenders is impossible… those of you who’ve experienced it will be nodding along with the descriptions above, those of you who haven’t will probably be rolling your eyes. A well-done molly roll, if it’s done with people who like each other in the first place, is a powerful bonding agent, of a sort I didn’t realize when I was younger. During this roll, I felt more of that. Alcohol is common, but it sucks by comparison. Learning MDMA is like becoming part of a secret society.
Game teaches men to control and channel our emotions, but one of the hardest parts about the game, in my experience and, it seems, in many others’, is doing nothing. Saying nothing. Not responding, when every emotional fiber of one’s being cries out to respond. Those are the times when a chick texts something, and I yearn to text back what I think, or to convince her to act, but in my rational mind, I know that saying zero is the right move, and that my emotional yearnings must be curtailed.
“Impatience” is often the handmaiden of failed game. A few days ago, I met a chick I’ve loosely known for about nine months. I have a lot of logistical complexity, and she has some too, and I’ve run hot and cold by accident, because I know I shouldn’t try to bang her, but she’s also a hot 8, and looks and smells like sex, so here I am, wanting to bang her.
A few weeks ago I went over to some “clubs” with some friends (clubs of the sort I expect are dying: it’s something I don’t normally do, but the crowd urged me to go and I went with the crowd (what, it happens sometimes, you never do?)), and the club, despite its reputation and slutty Instagram feed, was strangely grim: too many guys and too few women, and the guys were circling the area, hunting, seemingly, for any hint of female attention. Superficially, a big happy party, but just under the surface, desperation, attention-seeking… the sorts of things any person with modest emotional intelligence could perceive. Perhaps people drink to dull whatever emotional intelligence they have. Without coke, I don’t think these places would exist.
A lot of the people were trying to be sexually successful but would probably be more sexually successful if they quit alcohol, sugar, and other simple carbs.
THE GAME comes out in 2005, MYSTERY METHOD a year later. A bunch of pickup blogs show up then too, almost all abandoned since, and sometimes descending into madness and/or conspiracy theories along the way. Few guys have any desire to write about pickup and chicks for more than a few years, and the ones who do are often, or usually, unbalanced, or nuts in some other way(s). It’s important to have coolness and status before trying to evangelize or teach, yet the most prominent and least anonymous guys appear to have neither. Most are the kind of guys I’d want to avoid, not the kind who I’d want to get a drink and chat with.
A few years ago (2015) the book MATE: BECOME THE MAN WOMEN WANT, by Geoffrey Miller and Tucker Max, also came out, but it didn’t seem to make a splash. In a major occasion on par with the moon landing, Red Quest as a blog is founded in 2017, its initiation commemorated by a massive, 10-ten granite ziggurat next to the Washington Monument in DC. Red Quest’s readership peak is 2019, as of this writing, although you never know, maybe some feminist tweeters will come along to denounce me, and thus drive up traffic. Most people who find their way here from twitter or reddit, belong to twitter or reddit, prefer corporate media, and aren’t much interested in other venues. They’ve been captured by the big-tech borg. Some people complain about centralization of power among big tech companies, but the vast majority of people’s actions show preference for big centralized platforms, not for decentralized, censorship-resistant efforts (describing what seems to be true is not the same as approving of a thing that seems to be true).
What’s going on? Knowledge about how to do better with chicks is available, but few guys seems to avail themselves of it. Chicks themselves are not out there talking about the excessive number of socially smooth, interesting, and cool guys who are seducing them. If anything, chicks are complaining about how cold it is to meet guys through online dating, and how they wish guys would approach them in real life. Chicks are lonely, bored, and understimulated, by their own admission. Memes about funny cats go viral, ideas about how to get laid, don’t. I post that most guys just don’t care that much about getting laid, and even the ones who somewhat care, don’t care or care much about figuring out how to do so effectively. The information itself has been around for at least a decade and a half, probably longer, and it’s still very niche.
Some guys still seem to think that doing better with chicks is simply impossible: and yet the guys who practice the game demonstrate otherwise. Or maybe most guys really aren’t picky, and are okay dating a few points below themselves. They perceive the mountain to be too high, and go back to the Shire of video games. I know a coach who says his clients think a same-day lay (SDL) is impossible, because it’s so far out from their idea of what’s possible.
Overall, it’s not like men are better at getting laid via some other avenue. Men seem to be getting laid less than they did a few years back, which is also consistent with the “most guys don’t care much” thesis. You’ve probably seen the graphs showing that the number of guys in their teens / 20s who have gone without sex in the last year has something like doubled, or maybe a bit more, from like 8% to like 22%, in the last ten to twelve years:
Number of video gamers and herbivores seems to be going up, which is I guess kind of nice from a “competition” level, but existentially depressing from a societal and cultural level. Maybe one day humanity goes extinct cause the video games are too good. Maybe the effort and subtlety needed to master the art of seduction is too great. Most guys have returned to an oral-first culture, and thus the extensive written corpus about how to get laid lies fallow, for want of readers. In a similar human puzzle, Why aren’t there more computer science majors? It’s probably the most lucrative undergrad degree, and highly impactful on the average person’s life (the average person spends an unbelievable number of hours per day on the phone, which is another way of saying, “Doing things CS majors produce”). Lots of people go to college, get worthless degrees, and spend the next decade plus paying back “student” loans that can’t be discharged via normal means like bankruptcy. Weird! I hypothesize most people aren’t smart enough to do computer science degrees but maybe there are other reasons. Most guys are smart enough to implement the rudimentary parts of game, however, they just don’t. Maybe guys are just lazy?
Some of the guys who download and read the book probably don’t do anything with its ideas right away, but a planted seed may sprout years down the line. Could be that “time” is a key element for ideas to spread. But ideas from THE GAME and such have had a long time to spread, and seem not to have. Video game ideas, by the contrast, appeal to many millions.
There seemed to be a lot of energy in the pickup and seduction worlds in the ’00s and early ’10s. Where’d it go? Guys in their 20s don’t seem to be writing about seduction and dating experiences (if I’m missing guys who are, let me know). Maybe, today, being in good shape, a male high 7, and having okay pictures of a guy looking buff and hiking or whatever, is enough to snare high 6s and some 7s off dating apps, so the drama of cold approach and bar seduction isn’t needed. The process is a little smoother, its terrifying peaks and valleys and storms smoothed into a neater, more manicured path. Meanwhile the guys playing video games and getting fat are mostly out of the game altogether, or get women consistent with their lives. A guy who gets frustrated enough with his underperforming sex life will find his way to the knowledge he needs, while a guy who is fundamentally content with underperformance, won’t.
It may also be that most guys interested in and writing about seduction are fundamentally unappealing or crazy, a point elaborated in, “The most stridently asserted opinions will disappear down the memory hole.” I look at most of the guys writing about player blogs and they do not seem cool to me, and many of them say and tweet crazy things that will repel normal people, or reasonable people. So it’s hard to separate the crazy opinions on various topics from the reasonable, but slightly unconventional, views on how sex and dating actually work.
Maybe this sort of thing will always be of interest to only a small group, for some other reason I’m not aware of. Maybe I’ve not plumbed the psychology of man sufficiently to discern it. I think I’d imagined that Red Quest as a blog would be more enticing: more efficient, and often effective, ways of getting copiously laid. Even if most guys aren’t interested in undertaking these practices, I imagined they’d be interested in or curious about them. They’re powerful tools, however unusual.
I don’t have much of a conclusion. Whatever makes ideas popular, does not appear to apply to guys figuring out how to get laid.
The last year and a half have been revealing. I’ve speculated in private that I think this universe is self-limiting, because the accurate and useful ideas about, for example, picking up chicks, are often swirled together with a bunch of other off-putting, inaccurate, and widely disliked ideas: a bunch of anti-social people discussing social skills. If you know any, direct them here, so they can denounce. Ten years ago, it seemed like pickup artists and such were regularly denounced online and in the media, and now, no one does. It seems the culture wars have moved on. By the way, we lost, at least in terms of numbers and attention.
Nash has a story about dating a peculiar girl, one who is “cold, confident, powerful little ‘push’ in how she receives you” and who seems to have a “bitchy hot girl routine.” Her responses to him are curt and highly factual, to the point Nash feels like “something is missing.” She’s a mystery (read the whole thing to understand more), and one possibility I posit in the comments: aspergers. She has little apparent interest in other people or a normal social life.
Psych diagnoses are overused today, granted, and lots of guys want to label unhappy chicks as “borderline personality disorder,” while 3/4 of chicks today claim to have “social anxiety disorder,” when the only actual disorder they might have is “7 hours a day staring at my smartphone disorder,” but in this chick, aspergers might fit, and that could also explain the lack of sexual debut, cause she’s too weird and antisocial to get there. I’ve obviously not met the chick Nash is describing, and sometimes it’s hard to say who’s just weird, and who is maybe diagnosably weird, but her behavior as described at least seems consistent with aspergers or similar.
I’ve run into some chicks who are a bit on the spectrum: if a girl likes to f**k for the usual reasons (sensation, orgasm, pleasure) but is also much more logical/systematic than a normal girl, she’s more likely than average to wind up doing non-monogamy, and thus I’m more likely to run into her.
A guy on Reddit says to me, “I just want to say thank you. You helped me,” but I was a little confused… how’d I help him? I asked, he says “A lot of the prominent voices in this community seem to be motivated by hate, but I don’t get that at all from your blog. It showed me that there is an intelligent way to approach the goals I have.”
I also read The Evolution of Desire because you had mentioned it, and that book is pretty illuminating. Its easier not to get stuck in anger when I at least understand what is going on.
Evolutionary biology is key to understanding human sexual dynamic fundamentals… evolutionary biology is the difference between trying to calculate the area under a curve with calculus versus without. Calculus is the difference between the modern world and everyone living in sod huts and being covered wit shit, and there is no substitute for fundamental understanding (a common theme around here).
Read evolutionary biology and spend a lot of time with chicks, and a normal guy will develop/have some compassion and empathy for them. Chicks have their own problems, many imposed by their evolutionary path. The male path is simple, “hot chick -> want to fuck -> try to fuck.” More & hotter are better. Men who didn’t pass up sex opportunities with fertile chicks left more children than those who did.
A player scheduled a date with a chick, then felt ill so he cancelled, then felt better and attempted to un-cancel (or reschedule, I guess) the date. The chick said she’s not free anymore and that she thinks he had other plans, and the other plans got cancelled. She “doesn’t believe in miracles.” Sounds like a girl who’s been around men and dating for a while.
So what would you do? Leave answers in the comments before you read on.
The average guy who regularly uses drugs like MDMA (molly), coke, etc., may seem from the outside like an idiot and may even be one, but the guys who use MDMA to lead better lives don’t look or act like the average drug idiot. You probably won’t know who they are, unless they tell you, or unless you see them at a venue on a night that’s conducive to the rolling experience. Without having had that experience, it’s impossible to describe how beautiful and life-affirming it can be: and, for those reasons, it can also be a powerful tool in terms of bonding with chicks, and elevating their lives. Loads of girls love different experiences (their typical life is dreary, except when men who up to create some excitement) and it’s possible to intelligently experiment with altered states of mind and body. That almost no guys writing about the game mention this (kind of obvious) point tells us about guys writing about the game… the main exception I can think of is Delicious Tacos, who’s not writing about the game, exactly, but sometimes tweets that the most effective pickup line in the world is, “Hey, want to do some coke?” I’m not saying that should be your line… but he has a point. Loads of guys disparage nightclubs, none of them ever say, “coke is a key part of doing that game successfully.” Personally I don’t want to do coke, but its effectiveness in certain environments remains.
MDMA is better, though, as mentioned above, impossible to describe without having taken it, but it will lower inhibitions, increase tactile sensations, create greater social cohesion, and have some other positive effects, like making people who take it more open and outgoing. A lot of ppl don’t like clubs/raves, then they take MDMA, then they’re suddenly great! If clubs/raves look stupid to you, that’s because you’ve never experienced them on drugs, which is the only way they make sense. Booming nightclubs are horrible environments, unless you’re drunk or on drugs. MDMA is a much better experience than alcohol.
Girls go out and have a couple of drinks on dates because the girls are nervous and they also want to get laid, without their nervous forebrain getting in the way of their p**sies.
Had coffee with a marginal chick, one I used to sleep and go to sex clubs with, cause she’s in town… high 6 for the most of the time I’ve known her, has probably slipped down to a 6 now, but she also wanted to f**k, yet I wasn’t that keen on her. She’d set aside a huge block of time to see me, and, by implication, a huge amount of time in which she’d get f**ked. Setting limits and boundaries with girls is a reversal of the typical order, since girls are usually the ones setting boundaries, delivering “let’s just be friends” (ljbf) talks, etc., but I’ve been thrust into that role numerous times, most often by girls at the lower end of my plausible range, and so I talked to this one before we met up and made my “no sex” excuse, feeling a bit like a chick with an ardorous suitor must. I also had some logistical obstacles that, absent them, I might’ve taken her for an easy tumble, despite things.
Xbtusd is back, with another essay about how top guys think about dating and pursue non-monogamy.
I just got word from a long term threesome partner, Anna, that she will be in town in a few weeks, and we scheduled a date. My relationship with Anna makes me think about how different RQ’s experiences are from mine, and how different mine are from the average guy. I’ve put a lot of time and energy into Anna, planting a seed and nurturing it as it grew. When the pandemic struck, Anna moved to another city to ride it out with her boyfriend. During lockdown, the four of us played online games together. When I went out of the country for the winter to a surf destination to escape covid winter, I kept in touch regularly via IG, commenting on her life and sharing mine with her. A lot of red pill commenters would probably say this is “beta,” or “soft”, or “cucked.” Is it? I don’t know, or really care. Human relationships are worth creating and maintaining for their own sake; treat people as instruments and you will become an instrument to them, to be discarded when your use is fulfilled. I don’t like fucking women I don’t know well and connect with as a person. Sex gets better the deeper you connect, not to mention that women need to trust you to fully to let go and have the best sexual experience possible. Want to fuck a girl in the ass? Tie her up? Cum on her face? Treating her like you like her helps, but liking her is exponentially better.