“Tone” and “teasing” are hard to nail

I was reading some of Juggler’s book, which, like BradP’s, is very good, but as I was reading it I kept thinking about how hard things like tone and teasing are to nail. So many little things comprise “tone”… micro-expressions, micro-aspects of body language, subtle parts of the voice’s timbre… all these things matter, and should be put together effectively, for a guy to succeed. The number of romantically ineffective guys out there shows that this isn’t happening, despite the knowledge of how to make it happen being widely available. Juggler says, “I used to smile wrong. I would spot an attractive woman, make eye contact with her and then smile full-tilt. My expression jumped from dour to grinning in a split second. This came across as forced and awkward and kept me celibate for years.” I doubt it was only the smile that kept Juggler “celibate for years,” but I’m sure it contributed… people, particularly women, are highly attuned to interpersonal vibe, and highly attuned to people whose vibes are “off” somehow, as many guys’s are… we get many years of schooling in math, reading, etc., and almost no formal schooling in how to interact with other people.

Continue reading ““Tone” and “teasing” are hard to nail”

Brad P’s dating education memoir “Diary of a Pickup Artist (PUA)”

I’ve read too many boring, unsubtle field reports (FRs), but Brad P’s are the opposite, full of life and hilarity… someone should turn his memoir into an audiobook, and sell it, cause if the audiobook is well done, it’ll sell to thousands of guys who can’t read (video games rot their minds), but do like a good story, will buy. Brad P has many good stories, and everything in his memoir is at the intermediate and advanced stages, which is precisely the material there’s too little of. The best part is the incipient consensual non-monogamy material, which he doesn’t develop (the preconditions weren’t right at the time), but I spot them, and talk about them later on, in the best part of this essay. One example of advanced material, he writes of sleeping with a girl who was at a concert with her brother, and telling her brother to (improbably) hit on hot Brazilian chicks. Brad_P says,

I think the guy knew he had no chance with the Brazilian girls, but he was doing the typical “Fake Player Routine” that most guys will do in this situation. Admitting that he doesn’t have the skills to nail the Brazilians is not an option, so he just pretends he’s gonna go for it. I framed it like I was doing him a favor running wing man so he could nail the 2 hotties. Like his sister was in the way or something. It’s always very easy to get a guy out of your way if he’s doing the fake player routine.

I don’t think it’s common to run into a girl out with her brother like that but he did admirably, and part of being a player is perceiving what to try in unusual circumstances. I don’t think I’d have managed the brother nearly as well. It’s cool to see how a guy succeeds in situations where I think I’d probably have failed.

Continue reading “Brad P’s dating education memoir “Diary of a Pickup Artist (PUA)””

EUPHORIA, it’s a conservative TV show, didn’t you know?

EUPHORIA is a conservative show, telling us parents should stay together and take care of their children, opioid drugs are bad, being an involved parent is good, parents who don’t watch out for their children are doing their children a disservice, dads are a positive influence. Talking out your feelings is good, repressing them is bad. Self-obsessed narcissism is everywhere, to the point no one bothers fighting it (bad). Too much TV and too little parenting creates problems, which is a funny message from a TV show. Women need to be protected from men, an idea nineteenth century Christians would have strongly endorsed.

Doing sex work is bad or at a minimum undesirable, better to work in the real economy. Parents should work hard at their jobs so their kids don’t have to do sex work or sell drugs. Sexting is bad, as is pr0n. Geting off your phone is good. The teens have lots and lots of feelings, but they are unable to form proper intimate relationships with each other, mirroring in this their parents’s inability to form intimate relationships with them. The drama revolves around taking or not taking drugs, and being able to form or not form successful relationships with another human being. That’s it. The most radical act possible for any character on this show isn’t MDMA or sex, it’s a committed relationship, and most of what they do instead of committed relationships is what Gen Z internet writers call “cope.” Radicalism today is the conservatism of yesterday. Drugs and sex are easy, the substitutes for substance. Don’t trust most of what’s written about this show, because the writing is mostly garbage. Critics denounced THE JOKER for its conservative subtext (just text?), few seem to have done the same with EUPHORIA.

The show is hugely high style, colors! camera work! look at us, we fancy. Style > substance, we believe in narrow field of view, lots of bokeh, it’s very moody. The actors and acting are good, the casting is good. But! OMG! The kids, they are doing the sex! And the drugs! Can you believe it??? Neither can I, except that in every generation there is worry about the youth and their erotic ways, not least in the way they offer erotic temptations to those somewhat older than them. How bad they are, for being tempting. Very, very bad, Very, very naughty. Wicked, naughty, evil. Now, the youth can record themselves doing the sex in HD, how scary, OMG. Were the old days better? EUPHORIA invites that kind of reading… in the old days, when mom and dad stayed together and the HD, self-filmed sex wasn’t feasible, let alone sharing the self-filmed sex with others. Pot + LSD > heroin + phenyl-2-propanone (P2P) meth. In mom & dad’s days, the obesity epidemic hadn’t happened yet, either.

Continue reading “EUPHORIA, it’s a conservative TV show, didn’t you know?”

Lessons for men and players from The State of Affairs

The State of Affairs should be assigned reading to guys thinking about marrying but also to guys who want to be players… Esther says, “Whether we like it or not, philandering is here to stay. And all the ink spilled advising us on how to ‘affair-proof’ our relationships has not managed to curb the number of men and women who wander.” I beg you not to despair, but to contemplate the truth of that statement and think about it before you consider marrying some woman: fidelity is temporary, but some other dude’s baby is forever. What should we do with this knowledge? Consensual non-monogamy is one answer, one that I’ve elucidated extensively, probably tediously, since Perel says “infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy.” Speaking of infidelity “also plunges us into today’s culture of entitlement, where we take our privileges for granted.” She says “entitlement,” but “narcissism” would be a truer, more accurate word: the ocean of attention available to women on Instagram loosens whatever bond to a man any individual woman might once have had. All her exes live in texts, waiting for her to resurrect the affair: social media dissolves the bonds of marriage and affection like strong acid dissolves metals. Women know it and will, in private, admit it… an individual man cannot keep up with the man parade on her phone, with her ADD mind as it flicks and scrolls and fantasizes. What are you going to do with this information? If you’re like most men, you’re going to ignore it, pretend it doesn’t exist, like most people pretend that growing atmospheric carbon dioxide emissions somehow won’t affect them… the past year has demonstrated the human organism’s capacity for denial, which knowledge cannot seem to staunch. There is “more freedom, as well as more uncertainty” today, but most countries fight against standard DNA testing at birth.

You can be the guy she cheats on, or the one she cheats with. Which do you prefer? Choose?

Continue reading “Lessons for men and players from The State of Affairs”

*Muscle: Confessions of an Unlikely Bodybuilder*

If you’re reading this, you should read Muscle, by Samuel Wilson Fussell, because it’s about a topic that can’t be taught, only recognized and cultivated: obsession. Obsession propels people past skill and into mastery, it’s the thing that moves from “good” into “top”. Don’t think I quite have it, myself, right now, though maybe I did, at one point. It’s the thing you do for no reason, however many “reasons” you come up with, the thing that keeps you moving. Why’d Sam get obsessed? He thinks ’80s New York streets scared him, and that could be a small part, but it sounds like an excuse. The muscle thing could be a rebellion against his parents, he implies. Could be some third thing, I’d say, and the truth is probably tautological, it got him cause it got him.

You can ask a similar question, why do some guys go from normal healthy high interest in quim to extreme obsession? Continue reading “*Muscle: Confessions of an Unlikely Bodybuilder*”

There’s no money in it

The coronavirus world must be creating desperation because multiple guys have, independently, been asking why I don’t sell the book or hawk coaching, and I think the subtext is, they’re thinking about giving book selling or coaching a go. I’m not opposed to other guys doing either, but from what I can tell almost no one is making money from books or coaching, and in my view most guys are better off going to coding school or learning a skilled trade, depending on their underlying IQ, because those are the fields where the money is… go where the money is, not where it isn’t. If you doubt being a skilled tradesman has some money involved, call a plumber or electrician, or a general contractor, and get some bids/estimates.

Compared to a real job, I don’t think I can make real money selling books, and I’m not convinced any one is making real money at game coaching. Maybe Tom Torero and/or Krauser did at one point, or do, but Krauser in particular has written exceptional material over many years. For me, sex clubs + game is niche within niche… they’re both niche, and don’t have, from what I can see, a larger addressable market… I also think most guys don’t (really, actually) care much about getting laid. Or they don’t care enough to become effective at getting laid. If they did, their lives would be different. At any given moment, a tiny number of guys are really improving their lives and getting laid… the rest are watching TV, playing video games, on social media (with nothing to show on their social medias cause their lives are boring), etc. etc.

Me trying to make money from the book, or from a memoir (I appreciate the encouragement, don’t get me wrong), is like a young girl thinking she can make real money in pr0n. She probably can’t, though she can go through the industry wringer for a couple months, and in the process destroy her real-world reputation. Smart girls, meanwhile, are becoming nurses or teachers, where the pay and hours aren’t bad and the work’s not too hard. Maybe it makes sense for a pretty girl to do some light escorting while she’s becoming a nurse or teacher, because that’s conveniently deniable later on. She can leverage her youth and hotness with minimal reputation damage.

Smart people figure out effective things to do, dumb people don’t. I may not be a genius but I’m oriented towards effectiveness. I don’t think there’s enough money in books, courses, or coaching to make doing something like coaching, in particular, worthwhile. I’ve been reading and following aspects of pickup and game for a long time, and most of the guys I’ve seen do coaching I’d be wary of letting manage a sandwich shop, let alone them being the kind of guys I’d want to take dating or sex advice from.

There are a number of career/finance posts scattered amid the moral carnage of this blog, like Don’t end the week with nothing, and I’ll offer that advice when I see it, but the best advice is almost always hard to implement and takes many years to pay off. It’s almost always targeted to the person receiving it. Since I don’t know you, I don’t know what you most need. Coaching can rapidly improve someone’s skills, and if you want coaching, get it from Red Pill Dad. Continue reading “There’s no money in it”

Curiosity leads to sexual freedom… and threesomes… and storytelling

I was reading a good book about storytelling, A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life, by Brian Glazer (the hollywood producer) and a journalist named Charles Fishman (red pill dad on storytelling). It’s narrated by Glazer… and he has good advice for players… like, “Most of the best things that have happened in my life are the result of curiosity. And curiosity has occasionally gotten me in trouble. But even when curiosity has gotten me in trouble, it has been interesting trouble.” I should list some ways curiosity has gotten me into interesting trouble, but a look through the archives will yield a cornucopia of material… when “Libido Girl” first proposed a sex party to me, I was curious, and many years later I am still involved. Glazer says he is “not the least bit embarrassed to ask questions.” A guy should be the same, although, with girls, it’s often better to make statements or assumptions. Don’t ask, “Did you get a job making coffee because you like coffee?” Instead, “I bet you got that gig so you can flirt with the sexy customers.” As the conversation evolves some questions are fine & normal, but too many questions to an unresponsive girl feels like an interview. Some girls, however, are bad at flirting and non-responsive… but if she keeps complying despite being boring, you might find her complying all the way into bending over, with the underwear you slid off her tossed aside.

Continue reading “Curiosity leads to sexual freedom… and threesomes… and storytelling”

Delicious Tacos’ book, “THE PUSSY”

I read the Delicious Tacos book The Pussy and I can’t tell if it’s mostly a joke or not… The Pussy is like a Woody Allen movie, where you can’t tell if it’s more pathos or more humor, and the ambiguity is part of the appeal. Don’t read it if you’re not in the mood to risk depression… depression, like,

Four months since you left me. I’ve been trying to replace you the whole time. One girl came close; she was 22. Her face wasn’t like yours but she had big tits. She left me too. I was hurting from you and I tried to fix it and now I’m hurting from both of you and the evidence keeps piling up that I’m unlovable. Why won’t you love me. What is wrong with me.

It’s a joke, right? Tell me it’s a joke. It has to be a joke… the hole in this guy’s soul is large. I don’t know if it’s supposed to be fiction or nonfiction or if the writer/character is too miserable to care. He says, “Sex is the story. There is nothing else on Earth. Birds, flowers, sunsets: go fuck yourself.” Great, okay, yet other times he hates sex, although no guy hates women 30 seconds before he nuts in a hot one. I guess the book is about the male obsession with f**king, something I’m well familiar with.

Joke: “What’s the definition of a nymphomaniac? The rare woman who thinks about f**king as the average man.” But homos can f**k whenever they want, and most of them seem to think about things other than f**king, like musical theater, or celebrity gossip… they seem like high achievers, who figure out that when you’ve had your fill Monday morning still comes around, so you might as well have a meaningful existence apart from f**king.

Is the pussy of the title the narrator? (Read the preceding sentence a few times if necessary.) I dunno. I’ve read far more boring books, and this one has much to recommend it, particularly for guys raised on books by and for chicks, or by older authors who don’t know what it’s like today… I’ve spent more time on worse books, so I’ll probably give another one a go, like a girl I’m ambivalent about, maybe cause one eye is bigger than the other, or she won’t go to the gym with me, or she gets angry when a post a tasteful pic of us f**king to a Snapchat story, but she’ll also let me rawdog her, and she also likes to hit sex clubs with me. By the end of The Pussy I admit I was skipping sections because I understood the shtick… it’s a fine one, yeah, and it’s good he’s willing to use forbidden words like “mulatto.” Makes you know he’s not part of the political correctness police. Anonymous people admit the shit the named won’t. Usually.

Listening to whining… I don’t have high tolerance. Personal opinion. Is The Pussy whining? I don’t think so, but at times I wondered. Guys who were farmers living in the nineteenth century have things to whine about… guys in hunter gatherer tribes who spend their whole lives trying to stick the pointy ends of sticks into other guys, lest they receive the pointy end… have something to whine about. Us today… it’s harder to take seriously, despite the problems… listen to kids and they whine all the time. “No whining” is a top parenting rule. Adults learn not to whine because we learn that no one gives a f**k about our whining. People give a f**k about our solutions. The big problem today is too much pussy, for the guy who wants to learn game, relative to commitment. When you’ve f**ked too many women, it’s hard to commit to one, because the magic of the pussy isn’t there any more. I’ve learned how the mechanism works, how to take it apart, how to put it back together, how to get more of it. People on earth don’t value air because it’s free; people with too much pussy don’t value it any more, and don’t get married.

If I’d read The Pussy from age 16 – 25, I think I’d have thought it brilliant… I may have aged out of its target market. I did laugh, I will emphasize.

Alcohol is a stupid mind-altering substance compared to MDMA or psychedelics like LSD. That we think alcohol is great is an accident of European and Middle Eastern history. A depressed person like the person in the book (Delicious Tacos himself?) should connect with people through love drugs instead of depressives like alcohol. Our society is dumb. I ate too much Indian food tonight, although no animals had to suffer for my sustenance.

Being obsessed with sex and sex alone doesn’t do much for your identity (you will not learn how to f**k chicks from this book, unlike many other books I have discussed). If the rest of your life sucks except for jerking off, you’re doing it wrong. We feel existential loneliness and then we die. So what? Then what? What do we do now? Wallow in it, I guess. Or go make something. “Here’s the thing with me. I want to find a nice girl. But I also want to get you hammered in my filthy silverfish infested jack shack and rawdog you in the second hour of our first date.” Yeah, I have the same problem, like 50% or more of males. It’s called being alive.

While this guy is going on about his cock, other people are going out every day to produce the vast cornucopia of goods and services available. Thousands of people are working on coronavirus vaccines and treatments. Thousands, maybe millions, are making sure the Internet functions. It’s possible we’ll have a man on Mars within five years. UPS drivers make sure packages get delivered. Delicious Tacos, however, will be worried about his itches and commute. He likes a girl who has “her shit together but not in a drink the Kool Aid careerist way that made you sick to hear about.” Doesn’t make me sick to hear about, if her career is worth a damn (marketing, HR, and public relations don’t count, and neither do most girls in “art” or “media”). There is a difference between making a difference being a careerist, definitely.

Perspective.

Men would text him their woman problems. He told them go fuck another girl. They thought he was a genius.

The solution is always the same, go to the gym. Pullups. Squat. Deadlift. F**k new girls. Realizing the simple things would’ve saved me much heartache. Ballache too. When I was young I thought it would be romantic to off myself over some random b***h, a legit way to fix the pain of romance, when in reality you can’t feel the pain of some girl when you’re tight and clenched as you’re about to deadlift.

The Pussy is a little like listening to someone else’s drug stories… he goes back and forth between f**king chicks and feeling like they’re worthless and so is sex, to not f**king them, and feeling like they’re worthless cause they won’t f**k him… it’s like, dude, pick one? Some things are true, “I don’t have a dating friendly lifestyle, is what I’m saying. No one who works does.” So what? Everyone’s got problems. People who make a lot of money solve those problems. That’s it. That’s the big secret of working. Every job is solving someone else’s problem. If you can solve a big problem you get big rewards.

The Pussy often has a propulsive vitality to recommend it, and it’s not the inert sludge that is most writing. This guy should buy a bike and commute on it and work on it… riding is very flow… commuting does suck… a bike ride is better than social media. Some people are never happy and this guy appears to be one of them. I don’t know, I have somewhat limited patience for the howls of the miserable. I can tell a story about my life being miserable… I can tell one about it being great… guess which is better… there is no story in this book… it’s a collection of random moments: enjoy the vital moments I guess.

Read THE PUSSY, then read Chad Kultgen: the tone and content is the same. Both work for guys who haven’t fucked enough. What happens when you have?

Recent additions to the sex club guide book

Two recent revisions to the free sex club guide book, both inspired by conversations with guys who read it.

Breeze wrote to me, “Before I read your book, I thought sex clubs to be drunken, bacchanalian parties filled with drugs. Your descriptions make them seem much more like friendly social gatherings where people have expert manners. That actually makes a lot more sense because there needs to be ‘hidden rules’ in place for this sort of ecosystem to be sustainable.” Exactly. Almost no large and public sex clubs allow drunks or people who use drugs to excess, or to the point that they violate other people’s space and desires. Sex clubs only work to the extent that women feel safe at them and to the extent that men know their dates won’t be molested. Take away the safety and the club will swiftly die, for good reason. People who violate the rules will quickly be ostracized (again, for good reason).

Think of rock climbing. Rock climbing is inherently dangerous. The people who do it successfully (and don’t die) are often very conservative about equipment, weather, and training. They make absolutely sure their safety gear is top notch and in good working order. If they see signs the weather is turning, they turn back, even if the summit is close. They train hard to consecutively reach more difficult mountains, glaciers, or rock faces, and no one smart starts with Everest, K2, or even Denali. Something similar can be said for sex parties: the people who do it successfully often plan their evenings and dates. They decide what their limits and rules are for a given night. If they want to change the rules for their next date or club, they can. They check in with their partners. If something seems off about new partners, they disengage. And the people who do sex clubs successfully look for others who share the same ethic. Drink and drugs that impair one’s ability to function properly and to respect others are not going to work with these needs. Manners and etiquette, however, help people structure interactions. Being too mannered is stultifying, but not being mannered enough is rude or confusing. People who are successful in a given situation learn to operate between those poles.

Another, not connected to the one above, occurred in a private chat and Magnum suggested it be stated explicitly.

Let me also pause to say this book throws a lot of data and ideas at newcomers. Pull back from the barrage of new ideas and remember not to overthink the experience, despite me dumping a bunch of data. the sex club and party are supposed to be fun and relaxed. If you get too in your head, too into trying to decipher every moment and motivation, the club won’t be as fun. Your girl wants to have a fun adventure with you. Think back to high school or whenever you first started dating. If you sweated every detail, every moment, every word said to the girl, you were likely too anxious to achieve flow, and the girl could sense your anxiety. Do enough planning and thinking to make the event happen without driving yourself into over-worry. The first time you try anything new, it’s not going to go perfectly. This book distills ten+ years of the game… I have noticed subtleties that won’t always be important. Harness the excitement and ride that. Don’t let fear be the mind killer. 

If you go enough, you’ll become part of the scene and community: sex clubs and sex parties will become a lot more fun when you make friends who also regulars and connect with people on a level beyond a purely sexual level. Some of my friends and acquaintances have found employees, employers, business partners, climbing buddies, gym buddies, book clubs, and all manner of other, non-sexual connections through non-monogamy. For most of us, meeting tons of strangers is stressful, and trust doesn’t occur immediately upon meeting. It takes time to build, for good reason, since a lot of hours of face time and listening are necessary to evaluate other people (I mention later in the book that players have discovered most women, most of the time, need 4 – 10 hours with a man before sex. Sex clubs can shorten that time, but a lot of swapping happens after two hours of socializing and one hour of people f**king the partner they’ve brought, getting us close to the four hours many women want prior to sex). As you develop bonds with other people, the clubs and parties will become social and sexual events, and they’ll be more enjoyable because of those bonds. Like any scene, getting into it will take some time, but ongoing, repeated interactions are more satisfying than one-offs. People who think the sex clubs are purely about sex may be surprised to find that they’re as much about socializing, if you’re doing them correctly. 

They’re both subtle ideas but I think they clarify a bit of the cultural practices you’ll find, along with popular misconceptions. Lots of people may have been turned on and titillated by that Eyes Wide Shut orgy scene, but it has very little to do with how most real orgies happen. A guy could probably try to re-create that Eyes Wide Shut scene… but he’d probably be paying the girls.

In the real world, young and hot women dictate the dating world (contrary to what shrieking feminist harpies claim), and the whole sex club scene is built around the needs and desires of women. Women need more context and comfort for sex, and sex clubs make those things happen by balancing danger/excitement with comfort/rules.

A lot of businesses are starting to shut down or scale back due to COVID-19, giving me too much time to tinker on the book, which won’t be of use to people during the outbreak, since sex clubs will be among the first venues to shutter.

Unwifeable, a memoir, by Mandy Stadtmiller

Rarely has a title been truer than UNWIFEABLE, a book in which a hot woman tells us boredom = death, a lesson many guys fail to learn… let’s review the evidence, as she f**ks a dull rich guy, gets “halfway through a boring night at dinner,” then begins drinking to make the people around her entertaining. In New York City, “I make new [female] friends who tell me their stories of suffering through boring-ass business guys who get them into Michelin-rated restaurants and how they feel no qualms about taking them for a $300 meal because the guy is getting their company.” Nice guys have been erroneously told that money will make girls like them. Two women “exchange a secret glance within the first few minutes communicating the exact same thing: This guy is the reason women give up on dating entirely. He’s not even a bad guy—at all. He’s just so boring.” A man “launches into the world’s most boring story about his cell phone provider, and as we walk across the gravel, I am counting steps, grateful for the gift of disassociation.” “I find him boring, and I want to make sure he knows that. So as Blaine watches, I begin to flirt with everyone in the immediate vicinity—his friends, the caterers, my coworkers, gay men just trying to get out of my way.” You, Mr. Nice Guy, think of yourself as “stable.” She thinks of you as “boring.”

It’s amazing to me how mean many of these people are… Mandy is mean to any guy who reciprocates her interest in a direct and kind way (they bore her). Guys are mean to her. Is this what normal people’s worlds look like? But she makes me think… how many chicks have I met like Mandy, who say they want to be wives, but don’t act like it at all… and are then surprised when they don’t become wives. It’s like guys who think they want to be players, but don’t hit the gym, don’t go out and socialize, and complain online about chicks. When there is a wide gap between stated desire and actions that might bring one closer to that desire, it is time for therapy to try and understand why that gap exists and what might be done to close it.

All of us broadcast signals. We image match. If the signals we broadcast conflict with what we think we really want, there are problems. Mandy thinks she wants to be a wife, but she chooses to f**k guys who are not interested, not even slightly, in being husbands. Chicks are not stupid, although chicks, like everyone, may not behave optimally. This one seems to have a pattern: reject or ignore outright the guys most interested in her, and chase down the ones doing drugs and sex. I personally am not huge on chicks who are drunk or high, although yes I have been there too. A positive, direct thing I can say about her, however, is that she takes responsibility for her behavior and doesn’t blame guys for having sex with her when she’s drunk. That being responsible for herself counts as a virtue today speaks to today’s media culture.

This book, UNWIFEABLE, is so dark. I wonder how many chicks could write books like it, in which I’d be a bit character (“I look up and see this guy putting on a condom. What’s his name again? But my FWB who gave me the coke is already inside his date so I guess to I have to…”) Not a lot, I hope… not zero, either.

If you want to f**k around a lot, Mandy’s story makes polyamory look pretty good… in theory at least you are supposed to like each other, and care, a little bit, about each other, while also f**king other people. In this book the guys are all predatory and malevolent (the ones who aren’t are “boring”), in Mandy’s view… what is their view? How many of them were f**king her and looking into her eyes clouded by drink or drugs and wanting a family?

In her late 30s, Mandy goes through what Rollo calls the epiphany phase:

I’ve previously described this phase as a parallel to men’s feminine-redefined midlife crisis. This is a precarious time for women, usually the years between 28 and 30, where she makes attempts to reassess the last decade of her life. Women’s psychological rationalization engine (a.k.a. the Hamster) begins a furious effort to account for, and explain to her reasonings for not having successfully secured a long term monogamous commitment from as Alpha a man as her attractiveness could attain for her. . . . The self-affirming psychological schema is one where she’s “finally doing the right thing”, when in fact she’s simply making the necessity of her long term provisioning and security a virtue she hopes men will appreciate.

Rollo’s a little too harsh here, because I think most chicks do fundamentally want love… from a sufficiently high value man. Many of them, however, have dysfunctional ways of going about it (the more dysfunctional the girl, the better she responds to gamey game?), or, like this one, prefers excitement to love. She gets herself better than a lot of people do… “There is a true irony that people who are blogging or podcasting all about the minutiae of their lives are sometimes the loneliest people of all.”

Mandy also chooses an environment that’s high in excitement and low in commitment (New York City) and within that environment, sub-environments that are the same (stand-up comedy). Her book is funny, but mostly sad, and it’s a sad lament for the spinsters and to-be spinsters out there. It is bleak at times… “I am thirty-six years old. I have $279 in my bank account. I have no job prospects. I have no romantic prospects. I have nothing. And it feels like such a relief.”

Mandy’s memoir is red pill in another package,

The main epiphany for me came in realizing that success is not a finite, limited resource, and that I was coming from a mentality of lack versus one of abundance. Understanding this is a huge part of the battle.

Guys have the same problems Mandy does, when we get jealous of the success of others, instead of measuring ourselves and realizing we live in a world of abundance, if we choose to view it that way and access it (most of us don’t, sadly). This chick is going through what a lot of guys do… with the key difference that sex is easily available to her, whenever she wants it, which isn’t true of guys. But people don’t appreciate what is readily available (when were you last truly grateful for clean running water?), so that is kind of invisible, as is the way of chicks.

What people say, particularly the negative things, are often reflections of their own inner state… we think it’s all about us when often it’s not… Mandy, “How many times have I said cruel things—including to my ex-husband—that I may not even remember because I was in a rage blackout?”

Mandy is not sex positive and never integrates f**king a variety of people into her conscious personality. This limits her ability to enjoy it or even do it well and effectively. Guys who have read the free book know that many chicks need time to convert from their typical monogamous script into a non-monogamous script.

A book that is more red pill than red pill guys (it’s also super fun to read apart from what can be learned from it). Guys can learn a lot by listening and parsing what women say… women in certain circumstances and situations… not the ones saying “Just be yourself” “Just be nice,” but the ones who are a little more real.