Lots of swings and lots of misses (FR)

[This happened before coronavirus shut the world down, but I didn’t put up the story right away.] 

Went to a party without a date… but I went with friends who vouched for me and functioned as dates. They brought extra girls (who weren’t appealing to me, physically or intellectually/psychologically, but that happens). The girls took some drug that made them very friendly.

I knew a few girls at the party, including this one (again)… and she is now ROUGH. When I first started seeing her I’d have given her an 8… by the time I wrote about cutting her loose she was more like a low 8/high 7 and now she is like a 6… not fat, exactly, but weird rolls of stomach fat and fat legs. I saw some girl going down on her and thought “She is only 26 and looks awful.” Her life is a trainwreck too, and the fall over a short period of time is a testament to the destructive power of drugs, even “legal” drugs (of the wrong kind and taken too frequently). I feel bad for her, because all of her relationships, whether with friends, lovers, roommates, etc., have been severed, often abruptly and in a difficult way, by her behavior… and she doesn’t appear to understand why. I pity her. Drugs and other problems are ruining her life and career. I may check in and see if she’s trying to get off them.

Met a couple who didn’t know each other well and had met recently… a couple who don’t know each other well and aren’t officially dating means that the girl may be up for grabs (something that I don’t think I thought to include in the book). The girl was somewhere between a high 6 and mid 7 but I liked her vibe… she was bouncing with excitement and pleasure when I met her, and enthusiasm is infectious, like coronavirus, but less dangerous. She’s also a kinky slut, and much later I picked up her contact details, and her dates’s.

Did a ton of spanking & flogging. Few people there appeared to know what they were doing with BDSM and the fact that I’ve developed those skills seemed to set me apart. Lots of audience, which started with me spanking my friend. Didn’t seem like anyone else brought floggers.

Closest shot on goal was a girl, Alyssa, who I spanked and who LIKED pain. I spanked another girl who was super cute, with a newbie boyfriend. Great to spank but said she has high pain tolerance (she doesn’t). Then her boyfriend wanted to be spanked, for some reason, to know what it was like? Not my favorite thing to do but it seemed like a moment when I ought to just go for it, so I did, and explained to him what I was doing, what I think about, how I check in with the girl, etc. So it was like half spanking, half tutorial. Couldn’t tell if I was getting bi vibes off him… I hope not. But the main way people learn this stuff is peer to peer, so I did some education? Don’t fully know how to interpret this, so the question marks.

Alyssa… I really worked over her ass and thighs. Long warm-up. Lots of flogging, eventually leading to full-on backhand, like a tennis player’s backstroke, with a paddle. The buildup allowed her to access that part of her. Most guys rush girls too much at every level, from the first kiss to the foreplay to the f**king, when girls want guys to move like 50% slower. Not so slow as to be languid, but more deliberately than most guys go. Be assertive enough for her to know your desire but understand chicks need more time than most guys give them. Alyssa did a lot of kind of annoying topping from the bottom, but I didn’t know her and so didn’t call her out on it. Spent a long time working her over, and interleaving touching gently and some kissing. Very passionate kissing. After, I asked her for sex and she said no but that she wanted to see me later. Later, we went to another area and talked, then made out some. I moved her around some, which she seemed to like, and set her up to grind. It was erotic, feeling her hips move and the sharp intakes of breath as she got going. I got about half hard, which she could feel, then she backed off again, saying she wasn’t into sex that night.

Some more negotiations followed and Alyssa didn’t want to f**k, Although she didn’t say it, she knew exactly what I was trying to do by heating her up, and she didn’t want to do it and only wanted to make out. She negged me by saying that I seem “goal oriented.” I laughed… she’s not wrong. Didn’t have a great response, honestly, because agreeing made me seem a little slimy, and the opposite wasn’t true and claiming not to be isn’t consisten with what she’d seen of my personality and skills. She wanted to know if I was going to stay and I was just like, “I’m tired and heading home.” Maybe could have played last cock standing but I believe the gold seam was played out and produced no nuggets, just a few flakes. With Alyssa I think she knew what was up, what her strict limits were for whatever reason, and that was that. She lives out of town, so I doubt I’ll see her again. Will follow up today but I’m not optimistic. I told this story to one player who said

There’s a weird negative vibe on chicks who are a “no” to f**king. It’s different from LMR. It’s like you can feel their mindset is set to No.

I lose interest pretty quickly if she is not at least open to f**king.

Part of the annoyance is when you sense on a limbic level that the purpose of her not f**king is due to a power dynamic and not because she is not ready/in the mood. It’s a huge turnoff.

I would offer a counter take on this… Alyssa wasn’t open last night but might be in the future. She was a forebrain override girl, one who liked that I had met a lot of people, spanked a lot of chicks, and demonstrated social competence and BDSM competence. There weren’t a lot of unoccupied cute girls. Transparently losing interest too fast is a mistake… it gives bad vibes to the girl and also f**ks up future events. I have her # and will ping her. A few weeks or months from now it could happen. She’s a good person to invite to random events when I don’t have anything else going on.

It’s bad to get the reputation as the guy who chases girls and then does a 180 when they won’t f**k right away. If the player abruptly pulls away once or twice, okay, lack of chemistry but it’s an undesirable reputation. There’s always the short play, in the moment, and the longer play, over time and over reputation. The discipline to make the longer play will lead to greater success, I think.

At the end, talked to a couple, the guy less hot than the girl, and the girl just gorgeous. Huge breasts on a very small and petite frame. I would’ve loved to f**k her. They’re relatively new to the world, so I took some contact info. Unlikely to go anywhere but some seeds have been planted. She’s the sort of girl who might look “okay” in street clothes and then turn out to be stunning naked.

Fair # of mismatched partners with girls much hotter than the guys.

Kinda miss the girl from the last big party, who I saw again once and has gone silent. Beautiful sexual chemistry with her, more than with anyone since Short Dancer, probably. Such quick sexual chemistry. Am I the same for her, or am I just some guy she f**ked? I’ll ping again in another week but going anywhere with her is doubtful. Relationships end, so I hope I’m top of mind when/if hers does.

The last couple events I have attended without a direct date, and that is doing this on hard mode. Harder mode anyway. Bringing a date leads to a higher probability of success.

I mean to write less but the inner voice speaks too loudly.

Learning

* Chat with people.

* Demonstrate competence. I learned how to do BDSM from a combination of online tutorials and guides and in-person. If you’re at an event and see someone who is doing it well, watch what they do and try to imitate it. Even ask them how they learned or what they were thinking about doing (after they’re done… never interrupt. Watch but don’t interrupt.)

* Play the long game.

The game’s endgame and picking up a girl at a private party

Got an invite to a huge private sex party… remember how I wrote, “game can be thought of a little bit like chess in that for good players the first 5 – 10 moves are memorized calls and responses and gamed out… the interesting stuff happens midgame.”? This is an endgame story, making it less valuable than mid-game stories, but I wrote most of it for a private group, so I figured I’d tell the rest…

At the party, I talked to a gorgeous, short girl who used to be a high-end escort and probably had income that put her in the 99%… not a great conversationalist or was on drugs… some other things about her stood out but are too private to share… asked for kiss when she left, and she said “maybe later.” In normal dating asking for the kiss is a bad move, but in this environment it’s the way to go.

Did an MFM with a couple I know… read Yoylo for an MFM example story… I have also laid out a threesome bluepint… this one happened because I’ve known them both for years… she is a solid 7… he is probably a male 8… he finds it hard to find the right women, and they are put together well. He’s had some of mine before, so it’s all good… I have spoken many times about reciprocity and balanced equation, and our equations are well-balanced. There is not a “game” story here… or if there is, it is buried in the years… we are all casual friends who spent some time catching up, then had a theeway. Very intense one, too. Whatever “game” was involved happened long ago.

Much later, I was about to leave and crash, but I saw this girl and had to say hi to her… so I got to chatting with this chick and she had great vibes, nice but not astonishing face, and just the best body. 25 or so… we chatted for a while and she noticed my paddle… asked if I would spank her… of course, baby… we found our way to a more private back area, away from the crowds, and she was so cute (great, top level super feminine energy) and responsive. Some spanking/paddling, light choking/hair pulling… things moved fast and she was broadcasting horniness… so I kept going forward, checking in with her at appropriate places… and wow. I didn’t think I could rise to the occasion but did it (sometimes verbalizing “I’m not sure I can have sex again” helps me relax into it), and sex with her was amazing… amazingly fun. Time between “Hi” and f**king was… 20 minutes? 30 minutes? I don’t know. It was almost too fast, even for me… I think she’d been marinating in the environment and socializing for a long time and yet hadn’t been approached, or properly approached (later I found out that she knew a guy there, a friend of friend, who had been chasing her, but she wasn’t into him). Or, right girl, right time? I want to give her an 8 due to her body just being packed in all the right ways and feeling fantastic but probably a high 7. Everything about her felt and seemed right. Instant chemistry is rare. She seemed almost grateful to have me inside her, which is a turn-on. Hope she comes out… we talked about that, but she might be an “in the moment” girl who disappears later. I hope not.

Like I said, it happened almost too fast… I wanted more time to play with her body, to get to know her, but her sex temperature was so high that I felt I couldn’t not. We talked about some logistical things… “feminine energy” isn’t discussed as much as it should be. Hers was off the charts. She was like crack. Other girls should take lessons in feminine energy and sounds from her. F**king her was great. She reminded me of Short Dancer, and it has been years since I have felt that way.

Did not see the former sex worker 9 again.

I’m also a re/tard in some ways… my stated goals are different than what I pursued last night, so there’s that.

I wasn’t going to turn this into a blog post at first, cause I don’t think there’s anything new to learn from it… but then I realized that that is the lesson… I’ve been building ecosystem/connections for many years, and staying in pretty good shape, and it came together. Maybe I could point out that even s**ts often want to know the guy/guys they’re sleeping with… more often than not they do… the first woman came around not because I was a random but because I wasn’t. Overall I think I’ve contributed more value to the community than I’ve taken from it, and that was reflected in the private sex party. It was reflected in the invite itself. It was reflected in the people I knew there. It was reflected in the fact that I knew how to be once I was there, and knew where to flirt and where not to. Where to push forward and where to hang back. The interesting things happen in the midgame… but this was the end game… the value had already been built. The reputation was in place. The beautiful 8 hadn’t been approached, or properly approached, and she was ready, so I went for it… I was wandering through the orchard and spotted what might be a ripe fruit… I climbed up… checked it out… turned out to be ripe… and it was good. I had the skills she wanted, and she… well, she had what I wanted. The fruits of the network.

Tried not to drink too much and succeeded… exhausted the next day… I feel a little too old for this shit in some ways to be honest. I still feel kinda off track… my forebrain and hindbrain continue to disagree… am I turning into a chick or something? Hope not.

This FR is late game…. it’s about the building of value and discovery and connections over many years. Very few guys can just walk into something like this… you have to know the players involved. The mid-game for this kind of thing can be read in detail here… if your version of the book is more than six months old, get the latest one, because I’ve been updating it in response to other guys’s questions and observations… thanks to other guys who have sent me their learning and their field reports… they have made the book better/stronger than it would have been otherwise. FRs that deal only with the first couple interactions with a woman often aren’t interesting because they’re pretty well gamed out. FRs that cover end game, like this one, often aren’t interesting because there’s not a lot of value building or practice taking place… the value building took place in the past. I’d learned to be in the right place at the right time with the right attitudes and that was rewarded. This is a study about reaping wheat, not about growing it (much harder to grow than to reap, or to eat the food made from the wheat). I was surprised by the girl at the end and the speed with which it happened. But the conditions for that had been created over many years. I’ve had this happen before… but this girl was just f**kin hot, and she’s relatively to new to the scene/community. In some ways I got lucky, but you know how the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get? It’s like that.

Magnum has different FMF report too.

“GOD it feels so good to get picked up.”

“The hilarious part was that after we f**ked, she says: ‘GOD it feels so good to get picked up.’

I have gotten this kind of response too. Sometimes chicks will yield horrible blowouts or just look at you like you’re a bug, but more often the responses will be positive, and sometimes they will be ecstatic, like this chick. Remember that most chicks are passive and will not do much but try to look good and react to the man’s actions.

Even many girls in relationships will be flattered when you hit on them. Most guys today are glued to their phones and have become social idiots. Be different.

Putting the girl into the friend zone: a kind of mean story from college

Many guys are used to stupidly putting themselves in the friend zone, sometimes even saying that the girl has friend-zoned him when that is not possible without the guy’s consent… but it is also possible to do the reverse, if you have sufficient SMV, and something like this happened to me in college. I made it happen, sort of, without knowing WTF I was doing at the time, like the sorcerer’s apprentice playing with magic. There were a bit more women than men at my school and that led to some good things for me, including meeting this girl, Holly, at a house party, because she was wearing a short skirt and had a nice body while she was dancing. I made out with her but didn’t have good logistics locked down… I should have tried to f**k her in a quiet nook but I didn’t have the escalation skills or daring I do now. I tried to get her back to my place but her friends stopped me/her.

Next night we went to dinner, came back to watch a movie, f**ked like animals instead. I was 20 and Holly was 18/19. The f**king continued on a daily or twice daily level… she was not a great talker or thinker… not then anyway… I’m not sure what we talked about besides school and gossip… but she sure did love to f**k and that was great. Guess we didn’t need a lot more. Short Dancer was a little like this too.

So Holly and I f**ked a lot but were always hard-up for logistics because of our living arrangements, her in a dorm and me in a shared house. So we got creative and f**ked in a lot of places. Holly had two roommates at the time, one a weird girl, maybe asexual or something, the other a friend of Holly’s and part of a larger group of like 10 – 12 girls who hung out together. Holly’s roommate Sarah was like… a 4? Even at age 18/19. Not due to exercise, but perhaps due to horrible diet or just bad genetics… I feel bad for those girls… there is very little they can do to improve their SMV if the genetics are weighted that far against them. Unlike men, they can’t even substitute achievement and income for raw sex appeal.

Sarah was well frustrated by being young and horny and surrounded by college guys… while not being very attractive and not able to even be flirted with by most of the guys. She was also frustrated that she was out of my kill zone and I was busy f**king her sexier roommate as often as possible.

Sarah offered threeways pretty early on, while drunk, and I turned her down using some moronic reason that was not the truth. Sarah would basically sexually harass me, and I’d laugh about it as she felt up my arse or abs. Holly would also laugh, and now I think there was a bit of dominance play between them… Holly knew Sarah was not a threat and never would be. So Sarah would get her little bits of excitement… but not much else. Friend zone, but for girls.

Eventually I did let Sarah give me blowjobs, with Holly in the room, and then f**ked Holly, telling Sarah that I was addicted to and only interested in Holly’s p***y. A kind of lame excuse, but… I was young and stupid? I hadn’t been seeing Holly all that long but had already f**ked her many times when all three of us came back from a party and I let them blindfold me, then I had to guess who was going down on me (couldn’t tell). When I got tired of the game I said that I needed to f**k Holly and told Sarah to masturbate… and then hold my balls when I was getting close to finishing, and as I finished… it was a turn-on for me but in retrospect it must have been kind of humiliating for Sarah and I’m not sure why I did it that time and a number of times after, except for some ego trip. I should have kept clearer boundaries… but when you have the power… it is tempting to use it… that idea explains a lot of random chick behavior… most guys lack the experience to understand it, having never had substantial sexual power.

Holly had a sliver of time between a class of hers and Sarah coming back, when her dorm room was free for sex, but we had to be quick about it to beat Sarah… who knew that after she found us lounging and breathing heavily… which made her hustle back earlier… and then I told her to hold my balls while I finished in her roommate, so we got into this pattern, one that she liked too much. Not sure how many times we did this sort of thing, probably 8 or 10… not all the time but often enough. Most of our friends saw us f**king at one time or another… college is an interesting time to discover exhibitionist tendencies, since a ton of single people are crammed into a small space, making the market super thick and interconnected. And it meant a lot of walking on other people having sex, or having people walk in on you having sex, then pretending to be embarrassed about it, when it was a turn-on.

I should have said no to Sarah altogether. Holly was among the hotter girls in her friend group, and many of the other girls were fine people, just… not very hot.

Among the hotter girls but maybe not the hottest  in the larger group of girls there was another girl, also named Holly, who knew a bit about our adventures and came back from a party with us one night to have a very nice threesome, although my primary Holly was angry about me raw-dogging Holly #2 (who was bent over and going down on Holly 1). This was also one of my early experiences with girls cheating, as Holly 2 had a boyfriend at another school and she claimed she broke up with him the next day. At the time the cheating I saw confused me… I thought girls didn’t really do that? It was one of the early experiences that made me question the feminist educational system and common culture claims. I can be dense so it took me a lot longer than I want to admit to realize how common cheating is among women. Women are smarter about cheating and much quieter about it than men are.

Men want everyone to know they can get p***y, women want no one to know that they deviate from the monogamy society script.

Holly was very high libido, the first woman I can recall with a higher capacity for sex than me. Would get very horny within like 30 seconds of kissing. Fondle her tits? She’d be ready in a minute or two, desperate for it a few minutes after that. Her whole body was an erogenous zone. She was great… just not quite as hot as I’d have liked her to be. Not quite all the way there. But she loved sex, liked me, and was uninhibited about her love of sex, which was very nice… still is very nice. Some women never get over the sex negativity that’s instilled in them by the culture. Some are just really fussy and their fussiness becomes too annoying to deal with.

Holly #2 was a solid 8. Very hot. Holly 1 wasn’t very bi but would kiss and touch other girls… Holly 2 went further. We had 2 – 3 drunken threesomes with her… I was in the weird position of chasing one threesome while trying to push off the other, with Sarah… then I got Holly #2 alone for some very hot sex. Hot for both of us. She was a curiously reserved girl who I never got a handle on. I knew her even less than I knew Holly 1. I think Holly 2 was a bit of princess/primadonna and saw me as socially and sexually proven by Holly 1, plus once I had f**ked her once I didn’t “count” as a new lay and therefore made for a fine person to experiment with while she sought a boyfriend. Or let one find her. I don’t think she expended energy or effort dating… just picked from the guys in front of her. Even in an environment numerically stacked against her I’m sure she did fine.

Unfortunately, Holly #1 knew I wanted to raw dog her and she had a thing against BC, and back then IUDs were either unavailable or not as common as they are now. She was sufficiently drunk to let me a couple times, but then would regret it later that night or the next morning, leading to strife between us. A summer intervened, and we were too far away from each other for easy visits so we had a kind of “don’t ask don’t tell” thing, except that neither of us articulated it… I worked a job that gave me a lots of access to pretty girls, and I don’t remember what she did that summer except that we didn’t talk that much. She wasn’t a great talker or an intellectually interesting girl, but she f**ked great.

Back at school again Holly #1 realized what was up at some point, although nothing dramatic happened like her walking in on Holly #2 and me. She did walk in one day and ask point blank, “Are you f**king Holly #2?” Young-me decided on the brazen defense and was like, “Yeah, of course, you were there for it.” Of course Holly hadn’t agreed to me f**king her friend on the sly and that was it for us, although I tried (and failed) to get her back round for some easy late night hookups. I also didn’t have any of the context for non-monogamy that I do now, so I was a dead dog. I understood very little of what was happening… that is why I try to be compassionate to younger guys… most of the time they are running on instinct and subconscious.

Holly was a clean no-contact girl, made easier by the fact that our friend circles and social lives had pretty much no overlap. She must have gotten to Holly #2 cause she disappeared as well.

Like most young guys, I had no idea what was going on and was stumbling my way forward. At the time I had no true understanding of women and thought I had gotten lucky and stumbled into some nymphomaniacs or something. Now I realize that Holly #1 was just a pretty open and adventurous girl and she was looking to keep me happy, and Holly #2 was kind of similar but also didn’t want to be with her (high school?) boyfriend anymore.

I’d also been flirting with another girl I knew through a school club, so when Holly departed I immediately tried that girl, who came over for beer and a movie and wanted to know about Holly me and when I was like “We broke up,” she practically purred. Getting her to actual sex took a bit more effort and more than one date cause she was one of those “everything but PIV sex” girls, but she was amenable to persuasion over time. She was also the hot one of a group of less attractive friends.

Both Hollies got other boyfriends and I heard almost nothing from either them again. I believe Holly #1 married the guy after me. Both Hollies have kids and live in suburbs now, from what I can tell. I don’t know if Sarah ever got to feel another guy’s balls as he finished inside a different girl, or if that was just one of her crazy college experiences, the kind she won’t tell her future husband about. It’s bad to humiliate people… and I think I did that… somewhat… but in the moment we do things we regret later. Making the forebrain and hindbrain 100% congruent is hard… if not impossible.

Home Friend, again, and the cycle guys choose

(This one happened a few months ago, so it’s far out of date… wrote it at the time and then forgot to post.)

Home Friend. Remember her? Barely? Me too. She swung back around for a c**k ride, which seems to be happening every couple months… I wouldn’t mind her being more reliable but I do like her naked and bent over for me, so what can I say? Except that I am not doing the things I keep saying I need to do.

This time I spent some time talking to Home Friend, and it turns out that she has been dating a guy (I think she began dating him a while ago). They became “official” at some point, relatively recently I believe, since she was not in town for quite a while (she is vague on when precisely she got back… fine with me… I am her side piece and she is mine, or one of mine, it seems). It turns out that she was again with a guy…. and this time the guy made it official. “Official.” The last one might have too? I can’t keep all of the chick crazy stories straight. This one was apparently f**king another girl, and she figured this out by showing up at his place unannounced and the other girl was there. He wouldn’t let her in, and she is not a total idiot, so she figured it out.

She was angry while she was telling me the story….. then she started crying! This is after the f**king, during which she was not crying, fortunately, because I am not a fan of crying chicks, although dating chicks means you will deal with tears. Things like this have happened before. I come across as sufficiently non-judgmental that chicks pour out their hearts and thoughts to me…… and they are pretty red pill most of the time…… and usually the chicks are missing an important piece of the puzzle, just like young guys who don’t understand why they can’t get the top chicks. My guess is this guy did the classic thing a lot of players seem to do,

  • He likes some chick well enough. Most importantly, she is getting naked for him regularly.
  • He really also likes f**king the chick regularly.
  • He also really wants to f**k other chicks, if he can (a big “if”).
  • He knows chick #1 will turn off the sex if he won’t make it “official.”
  • So he makes it “official” while continuing to f**k other chicks, or trying to. Home Friend has a pretty conventional girl mind… she’s not proven susceptible to alternate mental frameworks.
  • “Official” girlfriend eventually figures it out. Or the side chick tells her. There are any number of ways for this to blow up.

I have been talking about non-monogamy as a way of getting around some of these problems. Some of you readers say that guys who do “official” girlfriend thing are idiots, and maybe probably that’s true, but I am also that idiot, right now, and I am doing things I really shouldn’t be doing, so yeah. The right thing is easy to do when you are debating it on the internet but sometimes harder to do when you confront it in real life.

I digress. Home Friend seemed surprised that I told her a lightened, edited, sanitized version of the above. I don’t think she’s ever thought of it this way before. Most chicks…… they don’t understand the lives and minds of guys. Guys don’t get chicks either. We are not reaching across that divide.

At times I will point out to Home Friend, and chicks like her, that the guys she likes most are also… tall, good-looking, have good social sense (approach her, escalate her, etc.), and they are probably applying those same good attributes to other girls, so why doesn’t Home Friend go choose a guy who is shy, likes her, and is maybe a little scared to approach her, or intimidated by her? She didn’t seem to understand why she would do this. Her language skills are improved but she doesn’t read nuance well… I think if they had been better she would have said what some chicks have admitted, that they want hot challenging guys and not really the guys who are available to them. They want guys +1 or more above them in sexual market value (SMV). The story of modern dating is all about SMV mismatch. She is a young hot girl so not many guys are above her in SMV… but she is not the hottest girl, so she’s stuck thinking about the hottest of the hot girls. She is stuck until she changes, or until she finds a guy who’ll do the things she wants. She might find him! She is hot, like I said. But she is also kind of placid, so she is only really choosing from the guys who come onto her, from what I can tell (I have seen almost nothing of her behavior in the wild). She uses alcohol to free herself and do some hookups, I believe, which leave her feeling bad and empty in the morning.

I said it the last time, but this is the last time. With her anyway. I need to not be like the player she found with another girl in bed! It will happen to you if you pursue that route.

Let’s talk about another player. I have been talking to a player who is going to a sex club pretty soon, or maybe he has already been? He seems to have uncovered a sex demon woman and it looks like he might bang one of her (attractive) friends as well. This is not a widely-appreciated part of f**king high-libido, no-jealousy women: you can end up f**king a lot of chicks, sometimes without trying very hard. She may end up being your wing woman. Like, when I was seeing Ms. Slav properly, I ended up in the double digits of random affiliated f**ks, and that is with me not even trying all that hard. Home Friend is part of the Ms. Slav run-off. And she is very attractive! Flakey as hell, but attractive. If a guy manages to snare a chick like this and wants to have a lot of casual sex with different women…… he can do it. I have been through this cycle a number of times. I think it’s great… it solves some of the problems I mention above. The trick is finding an attractive woman who is into this. They exist, but there aren’t a huge number of them, and they are often already tied to a primary partner.

Some of them also haven’t learned about consensual non-monogamy. The player I’ve been talking to seems to have a woman like this, who is learning about it from him. I hope he’ll write a field report about his experiences. I also don’t know where he’ll end up going.

 European sex club report

(I’ve been talking to this player on Twitter. English isn’t his first language. This is his story, but he wants to remain anonymous right now.)

Sex-positive environments are a unique place: you know that the people there are there for couple of reasons only. They want to open the release steam valve of their perversions (master and slaves, FemDom and all that kind of “beat me” stuff – how a man can feel pleasure in getting kicked in the balls is real hard for me to understand) or to experience hedonism in full colours, and boy, it is fun.

I’ve previously been to a sex-positive club and I was shocked by what happens in these parties: my idea was a bunch of 50 years old that swap their old hag for a bit of “fresh meat” thrill, but I was surprised to see young and attractive girls together with a bunch of equally attractive males. If you have to orgy, orgy hard Daddy.

In these parties, since it’s obvious that everybody is there for sex, you would think that you just walk to a hot chick, pull her hand on your cock and let the magic happens, well, that’s not really what happens…in theory.

Friday night I left for a famous party in Berlin at a famous place that organize these events: the dress code was fetish, so you have bunch of people all leathered up or basically in their underwear – what a magical filter to have for attraction, uh – I love to wear a bad biker outfit with my vest open – this is a form of peacock since 95% of men inside will have terrible bodies, eating too much sugar and drinking beer, if you drink, stick to whiskey, pal.

As a PUA, since you know what kind of social environment you are entering into, you can prepare and out maneuver any kind of competition thanks to game knowledge.

The biggest DHV you can have in these places is to have a good looking girl under your arm, but if you don’t, GAME will be fundamental.

I approached directly a stunning hot blonde in the dungeon and after she blushed, and she immediately shit tested me “Who are you with here.” I will get shit tested on my thirstiness couple of times in this interaction but never on my frame, interestingly enough girls are worried more of thirsty betas than a guy willing to spank her with a whip, frame, uh?

In these places is normal to find hot girls who need to let their slut side go and party hard, ending up in a gangbang or getting tied up to a wooden X and whipped till their body turn red – I replied with something like I parked my subs outside to a pole (do not say something like this in a different environment) and we started vibing: me stacking about her leather outfit (leather stripes going around the body) and then she introduced me to her friend… again, game aficionados would know what a cockblock is but in this context you can use at your advantage (in my case I said who was the master and who slaps who and started spike them both), and my wing comes at the right time but he almost doesn’t notice the set, yet the timing is amazing and I DHV him right in about his crazy shibari skills, while he story tells the friend. I take the chance to take my target to smoke a cigarette (I don’t smoke, the plan was just isolation).

A lot more spikes and locations changes (I have a mini flogger that she wanted to try while bent over a couch), then I asked her to go upstairs to play in privacy (code name for “let’s go fuck”) and she accepts… I take her hand and lead upstairs to a semi dark room with a big bed in it, a little bit of kino and flogging and I decide it’s time to go big or home, I pull my dick out in front of her face and she reaches for it, BOOM +1!

I take her number and her friend is still downstairs with my wing, who had already used the load while an old lady was gang banged by 6 guys with her husband watching… I owe him a lot for going through this. Once the girls reconnect downstairs, her friend says she got something and proceed to speak German – my girl says she will be back in a bit and they disappear together in the toilet (I suspect ecstasy, but who am I to judge?) I will never see her again.

Together with my wing we venture again in the dungeon and he introduces to a tranny that he knows who knows a ton of people, HE/SHE (whatever floats your boat) introduces me to the friend, a blonde chick next to that who immediately notices the flogger (I swear, how many chicks these days know what it is and what is it for) and teases me if I ever used it, I simply reply that if she behaves good with me maybe I will show her.

In reality, the chick is there only to cocktease since her boyfriend is the big guy at the door and she won’t do anything without him…oh well, at least I tried.

I also opened an older woman, because she had a busty body that made me very horny. An interesting thing here for players is couples.

A lot of couple will play with you if you have something to offer, maybe you have a Spartan warrior body, maybe you have an hot girl with you, maybe they just buy your frame, whatever, but a lot of couples will actually participate in games, in this case, as soon as this woman told me “I would like to play with you but I need to ask my husband” I understood that this one was either a total strike with a cuckoo or he would have just dismissed me because of their couple agreement.

Every couple has agreements like “I do the garbage you do the dishes” but they also have agreements on sex clubs, like “we must both bang – if you want to bang I select the man – we go together we live together ” etc. etc.

Turns out the man is a great guy, I started throwing DHVs on how I live life on my terms, after this trip I will go into the woods for a mini survival training (men love this, I’d love to meet people like this too where I’m from) he said they are busy tonight but he number close me to politely dismiss me, I guess their agreement was if you bring a guy, I must fuck what girl he brings – ahh, swingers, you gotta love them.

(Red Quest again: In my experience it’s more common for this sort of thing to happen in circumstances where you, the guy, already have a good reputation and reception. I don’t know how well known this player in this club or scene. I’ve also been told that Europe is better for sex clubs than anywhere else in the world. Most of the time, the sex clubs work when you are bringing a girl to the club. This player might be extremely high value on his own or have a reputation there. )

Brief one about limited interactions at a sex party

Went to another closed sex party Saturday night, and as I began to write this I thought back on The Tom Torero lay report book, “Below the Belt”, “Should you read it? I dunno. If you want more lay reports, then sure. If you’ve already read a bunch of them, as I have, then I don’t know if it’s that useful. They do get repetitive, and that sense of repetition may be part of what’s making me thinking about the next part of my life.” Same thing here, cause a lot of the older sex club reports (the ones I didn’t write cause I wasn’t writing then) would look like this one… went to the party that some friends were hosting. Maybe 100 people there total? Enjoyed it overall and chatted with some people. Not a lot of really good looking girls there, but three or four 7+s were around. Had a couple with a hot girl offer a swap, so that was fun. Declined it, though. Precedent: don’t want to go there right now.

Sex parties, lots of people f**king together in the same space, it’s just very… stimulating. Stimulating in a way impossible to explain without experiencing it. The group dynamic makes everyone f**k better, improves focus, offers encouragement. There’s an undercurrent of feeling that we’re all getting one over on societal rules… that feeling players know… but it’s present here as well. Even if you don’t interact too much with other people, it can be a fun place. The stimulation is there even without f**king another woman. I’ve actually transacted a bit of business at these events, too, cause you never know who’s going to be at them. I’ve seen couples who go regularly but never go beyond touching or kissing other people. They get some of their jollies from the environment, without wanting to risk their primary relationship. Compared to the typical getting drunk and being bored and then being hung over the next day, this is a big improvement. Everyone wants to f**k anyway… better to skip the pretense.

There were a few too many fat chicks for my taste, and more shifty guys than I would have liked, if you know what I mean. Wasn’t enough to make me leave, but I noted it. There was also a small cute girl there who I’ve met before but who has the glassy-eyed, thousand-cock stare that I’m not a fan of. I’m sure some hater guys who have never been think all the chicks there are like that, but that’s not been my experience… most of them have a pretty well-integrated sexuality, a sexuality that their forebrain and hindbrains agree with, and that prevents the vacant look of women who use sex or their bodies for attention, as transactions, etc. This one… I can’t place her. Have not been inside her but have thought about having a go. Something seems a little off about her, and that plus wanting to establish good precedent holds me back. I also need to be congruent. If I am not congruent in what I think I should be doing and what I do, that is going to f**k me up.

Saturday morning I also went out for coffee with my date, and there was a couple sitting across from us. Struck up a bit of a conversation over something, can’t remember what… I found the girl unbelievably sexy, but I’m not sure why exactly… something about the way she moved, or her vibe. The pants she was wearing, somewhere between yoga pants and sweatpants, just made her ass look fantastic. The guy was more interesting than average too. They both looked like they’d just rolled out of bed. Probably won’t go anywhere, but the old ways and habits die hard. I dropped a strategic drug reference in, and that went over well. I get the vibe from them, probably because I really want to get the vibe.

It also appears that Torero has killed his whole online presence, so if you want the book, speak up and maybe it will find its way to you.

Halloween party and being part of the larger group

Last-minute Halloween party that wasn’t exactly for sex but had many of the characters from the scene/circuit at it. Went at the last minute when some family things fell through, Halloween not being a very family holiday. It was the sort of party that ten years ago would have thrilled me… now I’m fine doing it (this is not a whine), but I feel more take it or leave it.

Took a bit of love substance with some real friends, and the substance kept me awake later than was desirable, but it also had some of its intended effects. I see why these things are being tested in clinical settings, because I think they can have powerful reset properties. But my state was pretty low: lots of sex overall this week, including the day of the party, and whenever that happens… I’m just a lot less social. Less focused on meeting people and seducing women. Like a lot of guys, I have a “hunting” mode that makes me bolder, funnier, deeper, bouncier. More persistent though BS. And that mode was set to “off” from sufficient f**king. Guys in the game know that it all goes better when the mood is right… this isn’t an excuse for failing to do the work when the work needs to be done and the mood isn’t there, but it is a statement about how the game happens, which is another way of saying how people meet and get together from there. The best game doesn’t look like game, etc.

Did meet some chicks and catch up with some old friends, some of them friends of convenience and situation. When younger, I felt a burning desire to f**k pretty much every acceptable girl. Don’t get me wrong, I still wouldn’t mind that… but priorities have shifted, or are shifting. And I understand why guys around my age coming off of years, or worse decades, of unhappy monogamy, sexless “marriages,” etc. would want to f**k pretty much every acceptable girl, to feel fully alive. But… I also understand why years of short-term liaisons can begin to wear on the psyche… it can become a bit monotonous in its own way… the world changes, people are born, people pass, and I’m still asking “Tell me about a fantasy you’ve never shared before” and “I’m not sure you’re the kind of girl who hears the call to adventure. You might be a little boring, right?” I do less cube (have not properly memorized it) and that sort of stuff but have my own common tells/patterns.

There is a gap between “outcome independence” (a concept discussed by many players) and “not giving a shit,” and I feel like I have gone from striving for the first to stumbling into the second… and that shows in my (sporadic, rare) approaches. It’s good to keep up the skills… today, it’s the nature of relationships that a guy never knows when he’ll be on the market again. Women are capricious. The ocean’s tide can be predicted, as can the motion of the planets, but not the mind of a woman. If a guy lets go, he can get dragged into the relationship underclass real fast… just look at your friends with terrible diet and exercise habits… they get what they give. If their primary partner leaves, they’re f**ked, and not in the good way. Being alive today means always being alive to what will happen if she walks tomorrow. It means… it’s not a bad idea to have a couple loose affiliations with women you might text if your main thing goes away.

At the party, I ran into a girl I was f**king for a while a few years ago. She seemed super young then and still seems young, although she’s got to be reaching into the second half of her 20s. Totally empty headed, but in a slightly unusual way. She is too… pliant? Like, she will basically wander into bed with anyone who asks, even when she shouldn’t. I tried to get her to understand value and reciprocity, without her really getting it. She would basically f**k whoever asked… which led to problems at work and among friends… she was the kind of girl who could just be escalated pretty casually into bed (or the bathroom at a bar). A girl who is not good at doing any value protection can be fine in the moment but moving past the most casual of casual f**king often doesn’t work.

She has a pretty face and nice demeanor, but her body is basically skinny fat. She looks like she could be a tight high 8 (though not much in the boob department), then seems more like a low 7 nude. High 6, maybe. For a guy who loves a pretty face over a hot body, she might be a bit higher… I’m the opposite. No interesting story about her, cause I met her at one of the first events she attended, so my job was to look good, chitchat, then escalate, then follow up. Being in this world can blunt a player’s overall game development, because, if the guy can bring in enough new girls, etc., it becomes playing on easy mode. No one gets to the later levels of a thing without trying to reach the edge of his abilities, and if you can get solid 7s on easy mode, how badly do you want to keep chasing? If you become a game obsessive you might still go… to stroke the ego, to reach the highest echelons, etc…. for myself, if I’m sated, my focus tends to move to other things. And at the clubs, a lot of filtering has been done… same with the private events… a girl enters this ecosystem seeking something… something that I have been happy to provide.

This girl was an easy come, easy go girl… we had a thing for a couple months, but she never really “got” me, while I got her quite well. There is no way to put this nicely, but there was a serious IQ and personality mismatch between us. I have dated women smarter than me… which is a fantastic experience, because I can learn a lot from them, and they offer much greater intellectual stimulation and it’s possible to talk to them about work problems, ideas, etc., and get useful feedback, which most girls can’t offer. This one, though… was always more than a couple steps behind me… something I’m okay with, but that kind of mismatch can grate over time… she seemed not to understand that I need to work, to prioritize my job and other issues, and I don’t really know where her income came from. She didn’t seem to be selling sex, and I paid close attention to that, cause pretty girls with no visible means of real support… they have a means of support between their legs… you can usually tell if you’re paying attention. Her family didn’t seem especially wealthy. She did live with too many other people, so maybe her costs were just low, and she lived to party. I haven’t thought about her since I last saw her at a party. Some girls stick in the mind, some slip right out. The circuit can be game on easy mode.

There were fun aspects of the evening, and the love drug has the unfortunate property of making 6s more attractive. If I had been alone… I don’t know… I think it’s good that I wasn’t. So it was fun, but a lot of the things I considered fun now feel kind of melancholy, and the things I’d considered boring, or part of the interstate on the way to fun, I’m more okay with. I’m less interested in bamboozling and more interested in deep talk, often unmediated by altering substances. Unlike some guys, I’ve never had a problem with them. Some people, without intoxicating substances or the intoxicating lure of sex… there is not much else there, when you try to see what their mind is made of. For a lot of women, it’s hard to get to internal substance without the connection of sex first, or without substances to lower inhibition. Then it’s possible to see what’s there, past the layers of social defenses… arguably the game is about strategies to intelligently negate those defenses and allow people to really see what’s inside. I’ve been just fine with bamboozling, with the game, with chasing the f**king, for a long time. Now I am… less fine.

But I am glad that I’m making charts of this world, which has been almost entirely invisible to players, from what I have seen (if I am wrong please point out the predecessors). It seems that I have learned things and realized things that hitherto no one who thinks about the game has realized, or has spoken about. There is a pleasure in making the unknown visible to others. Game is the realization that there is a process and set of practices that can be followed in order to improve success with women. It isn’t completely random; it isn’t a matter of “women are weirdos;” it is a matter of recognizing systematic preferences and then acting on those preferences. Taking what had seemed mysterious and making it a system, like early entrepreneurs realized that a lot of formerly artisanal products could be made cheaply in factories powered by coal. The artisans were angry at seeing their market evaporate but the market spoke. Women hate the idea of the seduction process being illuminated, yet women love hot cool seductive guys and complain about the opposite (fat lame nervous guys). I’m extending another probe down a previously missed, unmapped branch of the game.

None of this is an argument about how other guys should live or game. It’s a description of what’s in my mind lately. When game or sex club experiences are in my mind and life, I report those. Otherwise… more like this. You start with game… you end up with psychology and the entire human world, if you scroll down far enough.

Not much of a field report to report.

Yoylo’s first sex club experience [FR]

If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen Yoylo… this is his first field report on the blog, and follow his adventures on Twitter too. I like this story because it illustrates the dangers of not being on the same team with your date, and I worry that I have given too positive a vision of the non-monogamy world.

A bit of a background: I got married at 23, and she was 23 as well. Our daughter was born at 26 and by 30 we all moved from Russia to Sydney. But my then-wife and I separated mid 2018 and divorce papers are in court now. Joint application. The hearing is scheduled for early 2020.

A few months after our separation she found a guy, late 40s or early 50s, who she fucks semi-regularly till now. She tried a few other guys but no one stuck except that one. Apparently he’s a good fuck, knows what he’s doing, but they have no other relations but sex at her place once per week or less (this guy comes as he pleases).

I banged a few girls and had a mini-relationship with one city chick in the Philippines, where I go periodically to check on my property; I bought an investment condo a while ago, so I’m there a few times per year. I went in April as well and spent a weekend with this “girlfriend.”

My ex and I remained friends after separation and talked openly about her sex with this guy and my stuff with various women too. We met regularly for a coffee or a drink and to spend time with our daughter together. And we fucked a few times; the first time you fuck a woman is almost always the most challenging, as subsequent sex doesn’t increment her internal notch counter. This is part of the Matthew Effect: the more women a guy fucks, the more likely he’s going to have one rebound on his cock.

Continue reading “Yoylo’s first sex club experience [FR]”

Basic sex party. Relationship skills

Basic sex party last night, a private one put on by people I know, but it was underattended… too large to be intimate but too small to be a rager with that powerful group ecstatic energy, like what the pentecostal sects generate when they speak in tongues and shit. Party could have used more face control too… some parties want to be elite and screen for hotties, while others want to be inclusive, under the assumption some hotties will be turned off by explicit exclusion. Personally I prefer parties/groups that prefer exclusiveness, but they’re not always available, and vibe at them can be not optimal. Plus, they’re sometimes tempted to hire talent to stock the pond… a move I don’t like either. I want everyone there of their free will, not thinking about how they’re f**king for cash.

I brought a date, and we net liked the environment. She’s met many of my friends, and she behaves well in the environment. Taking a woman to a sex party is revealing… we all test each other by taking ourselves out of the “normal” environment and into a potentially more stressful one. Weekend trips that require planning and logistics tell partners more about each other than living an everyday life that is already set up. Same thing here. This one behaved well, although there probably wasn’t much temptation there, cause the top guys and girls were absent.

One super weird thing happened: a pretty, slender mid 7, early to mid 20s, met me for the first time and started hitting on me pretty aggressively. She was there alone (unusual for pretty girls) and women as pretty as her almost never explicitly hit on me. I’m used to it from mid 6s and lower, but not from someone like her. It started with strong eye contact, chit chat, then her stroking my arm…! We separated, I went with my date elsewhere, and then my date and I were siting around an area where people chill out, and the pretty 7 came over to hit on me some more. Touching my leg and so on. A buddy who I like a lot, but who is also pretty chunky, talked to us for a while, so that took some pressure off, but his date is a jealous goblin (low 5 / 4), so he also felt restricted from taking a shot, despite him having a couple skills and interests she liked. I was a bit thrown off because I’m used to pursuing much more than being pursued…. it’s also possible that if I’d been alone I wouldn’t have been perceived as desirable. She was flat chested but had a pretty face, trim body, and nice ass. My buddy got her # in front of me and also passed it to me, so that was cool, but I don’t think pursuit is compatible with my current life goals. She also said she got married at 18 and divorced shortly thereafter, so maybe she was late 20s and just seemed young. A couple things I told her about my life seemed to impress her disproportionately… one thing in particular that I sometimes tell people seems to impress them in a way it really shouldn’t. I guess it’s a status move to others that doesn’t feel like that to me.

My date and I got to the party a little late, and after a lot of chat and introductions we went down, f**ked for a very long time, deployed toys, exhausted ourselves, and left. Before the party we got dinner with some friends of friends who were in town, and that was too much running around for a single night.

So it was a fine evening, just uncommon cause of that one girl offering herself up to f**k, I think. My date is not much into other girls and really not into people she doesn’t know well, so that was a no-go. I wanted to pass her to my buddy but he was there with the jealous goblin (gotta protect the limited territory she’s conquered), and he had the excuse of the thing he had to do this morning. As we were leaving the cute girl was still dressed and un-fucked, so maybe no one was to her taste? Or maybe she f**ked after I left. Collected the phone number via my buddy, as she knew, although her crazy eyes worry me. She is into something non-sexual I’m also into that not everyone is into.

Other stuff. Remember Short Dancer? She moved back to her small home town… a while ago I encouraged her on Facebook to come visit, for an implied f**k weekend. She replied by blocking me. Damn. Is that just a hard no? Or is she a little tempted and wants to remove herself from temptation, the same way I avoid the pastries and ice cream in the grocer’s. If you’re trying to make a life change… you want to set up systems and principles to make the changes, activities, etc. easy to do, almost automatic. To get buff, set up your gym schedule and stick to it no matter what. So every Tuesday at 630 you know you’ll be in the gym. If you want to be monogamous… disconnect from people who tempt you away.

It’s also possible Short Dancer is just really monogamous and she was/is emotionally hurt from me not being that way at that time. A lot of guys claim chicks are all cheaters, etc. If you think that I can only encourage you to try and get chicks to cheat with you. It can work but more often doesn’t. I have a funny story from many months ago about a woman from yoga… she ended up halfheartedly jerking me off but it felt like I was still very far from getting it in her p***y, despite her liking to smoke up. Usually drugs are a strong slut tell but seemingly not for this girl, or not for her with me. It’s been long enough that I have forgotten her name. I am sitting here trying to recall it. Fiona or something like that? It was unusual. With an F? Fiona? Phoenix? Or is it something else? I never saved her name in my phone and I had consistent problems remembering her name… she seems to have switched yoga studios too! She might also have been already f**king a male “friend” who came with her to some classes.

Back to Short Dancer: we are still connected in another social media medium, and I saw her latest, pro-boyfriend updates, and let me be immodest for a minute and say I’m way better than her boyfriend. I don’t think he’s a lateral move from me…. I think he’s a considerable step down. I hope SD comes back for another round some time but I’m not optimistic. Most girls, they come and they go and I’m pretty whatever about them. SD has lodged in the mind. Objectively she’s very cute but not exceptional, yet I really liked her. Around the time our affair ended I was going to whisper during sex that I love her. I still really like her, despite her not having that much personality. I can’t describe much about what she’s like… just very pleasant to be around and f**k. Most girls I like being around, I can say why, or give a flavor of their personality. Not this one. If she is monogamous, I wonder if she wants to do a family much sooner than I would have guessed. Maybe she would have been good for that role but at the time I was busy with a girl tornado and figured that I could convert her to non-monogamy.

With the new woman, it’s good, don’t get me wrong. It’s fine. But there often seems like there’s an undercurrent of business in our sex life. I like her for a lot of reasons, one of them being that she checks off a lot of boxes for me… and she might like me for the same reasons. Not a situation that leads to maximum passion. There is probably a need to choose between “maximum passion” and “best life partner.” We have all read stories about 35-40 year old women lamenting the lack of “good” men who are tall, fit, wealthy, good earners, passionate, expert lovers, monogamous, willing to invest in an older woman… and we have all made fun of those stories, as we should, because the women in them are delusional and unreasonable. If you’re a guy, it is also hard to maximize for best sex and also for best suited for family. We hear less about this from guys because for most guys it’s a struggle to get one woman, let alone to choose among women. And our culture doesn’t give a fig about guys, so no one is going to write about male struggle. Players also chase best sex and don’t care much about life partner qualities, but if you want to do family, you want to optimize for something else. People who wind up treating relationships as disposable and a field for optimization can have a hard time treating relationships as non-disposable and non-commodity. This paragraph is another installment in the thinking I was talking about in “Picking up girls” skills and “long-term relationships” skills. There’s some overlap but also some difference. I’ve got another post, inspired by red pill dad, coming later this week.