I take it back: I think I have to cut her loose

I mentioned a long-term lover in the context of recurring revenue,

One of them I like a lot for sex, but I’m thinking about ending it with her because she’s too unstable in some ways. She hates her job yet can’t seem to get out of it. She’s on a bunch of prescription drugs, including one that’s supposed to be a short-term drug, but she’s been on it for years (I don’t know what the fuck is the matter with her doctor).

But, on the other hand, she’s bisexual and a very reliable threesome partner. If she says she’s going to be somewhere, she goes there. We’ve had numerous threesomes and foursomes together because she’s so sexually uninhibited.

And then I followed-up,

a functional, attractive bi chick who shows up and likes to hookup with both girls and other couples… that’s rare. However much the drugs and some other aspects of her personality bug me, when I re-read what I wrote, I think, “Why formally break it off? We can see what happens.”

Last night, I met this girl for a typical, one-on-one sex date… and she didn’t want to have sex! Second time this has happened in recent memory. She lives not so far from me, but not that close either. Some aspects of her personality I like a lot, but others I find irritating. If we’re having good sex, the irritation fades and the bad things are tolerable or unnoticeable. If we’re not having sex, they’re foregrounded. She (apparently?) wasn’t on one or two of her meds, and that affected her. In which case, why didn’t she cancel? One possible, logical answer is that she sees me as a friend at least as much as a lover.

Any experienced guy who reads the preceding sentence should be hearing horror movie music. The moment you realize the girl may see you as too much of a friend is like watching someone go into the house where the killer waits with a knife.

She’s much younger than me, in her mid-20s, though she goes for much older guys. In my view she is getting too old to behave this way, or to be on drugs like she is. Sometimes she reads as older and more mature than she is, and sometimes she reads as having the psychology of a 14 year old. I’m re-reading what I said about her before, and the word “reliable” pops out to me, cause she’s gone from being reliable (a very desirable trait), to being unreliable… which means it’s probably time to let her go.

In writing this post, I’m also thinking about how few players write about ending it. There’s a lot written about openings, about overcoming anxiety, about the mid-game, about the number of dates and ideal venues, about closing, about sex. There is some written about retention, about being 85% “alpha” (not my favorite word) and 15% “beta” (also not my favorite word) in a relationship. There’s little written about having a chick more into you than you are into her and how to cut her loose. I think this girl is more into me because I stopped initiating contact with her a while ago, but when she initiates with me, I often respond. In that sense, I may have assumed the typical girl role, but in this very specific instance it’s a role I’m okay with. Was okay with, I should say, cause I’m not anymore.

Most often, when I’m ending it with a girl, I prefer to talk to her face to face or, if necessary, on the phone. I like to say directly to her that I like her but think we are not compatible. I like to wish her well and encourage her to be her best self. In person or on the phone allows much greater tone control than text messages do… texts are too damn easy to misinterpret. I’ll also get something closer to her authentic reaction when I do it in person. I think ghosting is a pervasive social cancer and it is bad for the person ghosting and the person being ghosted. In some situations it may be warranted, but most of the time it’s bad and you shouldn’t do, even if girls do it to you… a girl who ghosts you is communicating something deeply negative about herself.

Back to the girl I’m referencing: I basically know her too well and am too close to being or becoming one of her girlfriends. I liked her a lot better at the beginning, when she was mysterious and sexy, and much less now, when she is a mess. (I wonder: could she say something similar about me?)

One funny fact about her: at some point this couple I know, and she knows tangentially through me, who are in some kind of poly relationship, had a kid. They live in a house with other open relationship people and their kid. No word on a DNA test and I don’t know them that well. The guy is pretty cool, the chick is annoying and overweight… a deadly combination. Don’t know why the guy is with her, as he can do much better.

So at some point myself and the cut-her-loose girl and I were talking about it and I said, “I would never, ever raise a kid that isn’t mine.” (Not from birth, at least… I could imagine maybe some scenarios, though they’re pretty unlikely and far from where I am now). She asked, “Why not?” and I told her. She eventually said she could imagine having kids and living in a triad or a poly house (she was in a triad at the time, although she’s in the 5% of people who identify as poly but are actually attractive). Again, mentally, I was like, “You are so fucking far away from being able to have a kid. She finds it hard to find and maintain a boyfriend or primary partner. It’s obvious to me, now, why. From afar she seems mysterious, quiet, well-put-together, and wildly sexual. From up close, she seems distracted, confused, uncertain, and aimless. Most guys with anything going for them are going to like the sex, next the rest.

She is nice in some ways but her drugs are f**king her up and her financial life is a disaster. She’s also alienated from her family for reasons that seem partially justified and partially not. When a person cannot get along with their family, that is a very bad sign, too (you might see a theme in this post about bad signs). A woman (or man) can have a few bad signs and still be good, but as the bad signs pile up, the likelihood of being good drops and drops. I’m sure I display some bad signs to girls. With this girl, being alienated from your family can be justified…I have met normal people with awful families, and your family background is not destiny, but, combined with other signals, it’s not good.

My weekend goal was to not go out, but I went out last night to see this girl. I was only there for about an hour, and she seemed surprised by how quickly I wanted to leave… why hang out without sex? The psychic energy and night seemed wasted. At yoga this morning I thought about writing this post instead of focusing on the moment and movements. Minor things, but things. Today is also shaping up to be more social than I thought it would. Not a problem, but it is true.

Ms. Slav story update

Ms. Slav left for home on Monday, and we spent two weeks seeing each other every other day. She’s bisexual (or, as she says, she prefers “pansexual”) and was also having some sex with the girl she stayed with. The other girl is essentially straight but also inexperienced. She’s not into sex enough for Ms. Slav’s taste, and I would guess from seeing pictures of her that she’s not very competitive.

Ms. Slav is into being my nude model and making sex tapes with me, so that’s a major plus. I think she’ll be into posting them online when we get there. Like most chicks, when she sees nudes of herself taken by someone with a real camera and some small knowledge of photography, she’s properly impressed… to the point that she’s now talking about buying a camera (a good move in my view: if you develop your aesthetic eye just a little, iPhone pics will not satisfy).

Despite that, I still find myself not as excited about her as I should be. Fucking her was really fun, don’t get me wrong, and I’m happy to have done it and will do it again, but I can’t get totally into her.

This is embarrassing to admit, but on two separate occasions when I was fucking her, an unwanted thought came to the top of mind: “96% of guys would kill to be in this situation; why aren’t you totally into it?”

Maybe it is just the condom thing. I don’t know. Or it is true that sometimes we just don’t get into a person who is objectively very attractive.

On Saturday I did bring her to a pretty large party. I may function for her the way Libido Girl did for me. She loved the party, despite some hiccups due to some guest-list challenges caused by the organizers, and after we had some (very intense, very good) sex, she wanted to find a girl to hookup with. She wasn’t clear about how to do so in that environment, but I sure was, and practically the first couple I saw had a woman who was ALSO looking for another woman. She was probably in her early 30s but still very hot. They had never been to a full-on event before and had only gone to non-sex events, so they were excited. The other guy and I watched and participated a little bit. They had that mind-blown look that people get at their first orgies. Eventually, Ms. Slav and I had sex again.

The other woman got Ms. Slav’s number. I warned Ms. Slav that, in the clear light of the next day, many people are less interested, but Ms. Slav said, “Girls always text me.” And the next day the other woman did text her, very promptly. They couldn’t meet before Ms. Slav left, but I’m now confident they will again.

Ms. Slav reminds me of something Nash said: very young chicks can get trained quickly by older guys into sexual experience and knowledge (I can’t find the specific posts where he talks about this). Ms. Slav started having sex at a very early age, and, although I haven’t heard about her oldest partner yet, I wouldn’t be surprised to find him 30+. Guys mostly have to develop on our own, while many girls get accelerated by older guys.

At the party, I was helped by my reputation and by the fact that I knew many people there. I led, Ms. Slav followed. A very good dynamic.

Ms. Slav also talked to her roommate/host about going to the party, but the roommate expressed a lot of interest, then didn’t go (a much more typical experience with women: interest, but failed execution). Behavior like this, and experience with it, is why a lot of venture capitalists are reluctant to invest in female entrepreneurs. The roommate had a good path to adventure and another, non-judgmental girl to go with, but just didn’t bother. The whole path was open! Then the roommate expressed intense regret the next day, because she went to some boring average party and left after an hour.

Ms. Slav is also unusual because she’s extremely punctual and extremely straightforward. When she said, “I want to hook up with a girl,” I found an acceptable girl and she did. As many players know, a girl’s statement that “I’m interested in other girls” is often, if not bullshit, then at least not something she wants to execute. Finding chicks who say, “I want this thing” and then do this thing is too uncommon. I really like it when it does happen, but I don’t expect it to. I wonder how many chicks would have better sexual experiences if they showed up on time and learned how to cook (Ms. Slav also likes to cook and says she’ll cook for me when she gets her apartment set up).

Like Libido Girl, I think Ms. Slav would make an excellent wing-woman for threesomes.

I meant to update the story sooner, but work has been nuts and when I’ve not been working I’ve been dealing with personal stuff, or stuffing Ms. Slav. Now I wish I’d taken closer notes on what she said, because there are other amusing game-related things, but I have been tired and today is the first day I’ve had mental space to talk about Ms. Slav. The media-outrage articles don’t require as much deep thought, because typically they either exemplify an important Red Pill idea or need simple correction that Red Pill and evolutionary biology guys will already know. I would guess that, over time, as I transition away from the game, that will become the bulk of this blog.

(I still don’t know what should replace the game, but I do still feel it should be something.)

By the way, the 20-year-old came to town for a day to look for apartments, but I didn’t see her Snapchat saying as much until after she’d left. That’s just as well: she’s flakey enough that I may stop responding altogether and maybe re-initiate later on. I worry that I’ve been feeding her way too much attention relative to her behavior.

Correction: I know I’ve been feeding her way too much attention. She does reply within minutes of everything I send her, but if the logistics aren’t there I need to ease out till they are. I’m not convinced I’m going to have sex with her again. Her behavior is strange. Must be other dudes in the picture.

I did talk to Ms. Slav about getting an IUD. I want to go all the way, raw, and see if that ups my feelings about her.

Ms. Slav story

I met this girl in a semi-warm atmosphere, and I met her because she was reading a book that I recognized: I asked her about the book, then showed her what I was reading, and when she seemed genuinely interested I asked if she wanted company for a minute (I had an errand elsewhere—a handy time constraint). In the land of Internet seduction everything is about “assuming the sale” and “asking forgiveness, not permission,” but in real life I don’t think it’s a good idea to be menacingly close to a sitting chick one has just met. Better to check with a simple, “I’ve got two minutes, mind if I sit down?” She was down and we chatted for a bit and I got her number. She’s got an accent and is from Central Europe, which is unusual, though her English is near flawless. She said no to a drink over text but did get a coffee, and at the coffee she admitted that she “kind of” had a boyfriend. She is also 18 (!), though I figured her for early 20s. We have some people in common, and that helped.

(If you’re a novice guy and want more detail on approach, see this.)

She drifted off at the time but did show up to a couple of events I was putting on. Then she went home in late May but said she’d text me when she got back. Around that time I was wrapped up in other matters and chicks, so I didn’t think much of her, as she seemed improbable. I was probably too intellectual with her, though she seemed to respond to that side of me.

On Tuesday Ms. Slav texted me to say that she’s back in town. Wednesday morning I proposed an adventure on Thursday. She said yes, and we met near a bar I chose. She was completely cool with it and maybe not surprised by the destination. I ordered us drinks at the bar and we talked books. One is about psychedelics, a topic that should interest many of you. I know people who’ve dropped acid and taken mushrooms, but this book felt like it scrambled my brain, because I didn’t know how amazing psychedelics can be.

I do know, however, that it’s not a bad idea to indirectly bring up drugs and sex, just to see what kind of girl one is dealing with. This one, it turns out, was lightly involved in some aspect of drug dealing in the city where she went to boarding school. F**k: that means she’s sex-positive and likely to want to get to it. We had lots of talk about drugs and their ability to help a person achieve their best self. The talk has a hippie-ish tinge, which is fine by me.

She also says, later, she lost her virginity at 13 to a guy who was 18. If her stories are remotely true, she’s had more experience at age 18 than most people have had by age 25. I can see that most guys her age would be unable to handle her. She’s too mature-seeming and experienced.

Ms. Slav said she has a fake ID and told me about her and psychedelics, which are, it turns out, her favorite kind of drug.

Needless to say, she checks all the “yes” boxes. We make out a little in the bar and I take her back. I slip a performance-enhancing drug, because I’m not sure how I feel after the Wednesday adventure. She’s wearing nice underwear, so she’s been thinking about what would happen. With Ms. Slav it’s good, but somehow I’m not 100% in the game. Maybe the desire was not hot enough in me: On Wednesday night I had a long, intense session with an occasional partner, so I was not at my physical peak.

She stayed over, and the next round in the morning was also good, but Ms. Slav says she’s not on birth control and doesn’t have an IUD, so finishing through the condom was tough. Maybe tough psychologically as well as physically. Good news is that the session lasted a long time, and Ms. Slav seemed to like the way I (man)handled her. She left, and then left town for the weekend and is supposed to come home pretty late tonight. I’m suposed to see her tonight or tomorrow night. I’d gauge 50-50 odds for it happening.

Friday I was worthless at work, and when I got home I took a very late nap, then went to the gym. Saturday I did some of the work I should have done Friday. Today I have a few free minutes.

Oddly, though she’s probably more attractive, Ms. Slav didn’t generate the huge, ridiculous boost and intense obsession that the 20-year-old did. Maybe because I’d been totally drained by the bedroom adventures of Wednesday night? Or maybe because I couldn’t totally hit it raw? Whatever the reason I am NOT complaining (if a guy complains about getting with a young hot girl half his age… just hit him in the face, like he deserves). I am *noting* it, however. The chemistry that makes one girl pop like a hit of MDMA while another is merely very good is mysterious. With this girl, texting discipline is easy, while with the 20-year-old I was besotted.

It’s an amazing world when like a week separates a single mom hitting on me and tagging a young lithe firm-breasted chick. Apart from the initial open, I think she picked me more than I picked her. I’m guessing too that she needed to see some social superiority/skills and some intellectual acuity. I never met the “boyfriend” but did see a few pics on her Facebook, so I’m guessing he was real, but with chicks… you never really know. No mention of him at drinks on Thursday. I didn’t ask and she didn’t tell.

If it weren’t for reading the stories of other players on the Internet, I think I’d still be under some serious misapprehensions about chicks. But when I see that other guys are experiencing some of the same things I am, it strengthens some of my hunches and lets me put together the strange pieces of the female psyche. Other guys’s stories also tell me that if they can tag young chicks, I can sometimes do it too. Which means you, the guy reading this, might also be able to do it.

Ms. Slav also let me make an AMAZING sex tape. I just looked at it for the first time. Holy hell, that girl is tiny and hot. Great at sex, great sounds, great body. I wonder if I’ll see her tonight or tomorrow, when I’m properly rested. Until today, I feel like I’ve barely had a spare moment to savor the experience and think about her. Contact with her over the weekend has been good, and she messages me far more than I message her. She reads as essentially less flakey the the 20-year-old. She also reads as a budding libidinous intellectual, or sex-driven intellectual. Usually the smartest girls are not sexy and the sexiest girls are not smart. This one seems to combine both.

It was nice to get her out… I’ve probably had 25 – 30 rejections / blowouts from randoms in recent months (correction: maybe longer than that, as I don’t keep careful track, so they’ve been spread over a pretty long time). I’ve not written about most rejections because they’re not interesting and there’s nothing to say about them: I don’t write about everything that happens to me regarding game or women… I choose the things that might be of more general interest. “Curate,” to use the annoying, contemporary word. Suddenly running into this yes-girl, or girl whose unusual boxes I happen to check, is very nice. Like her p***y.

I think I’m picking up sexually open chicks who really like older dudes. That, or I just spin the wheel enough to get the occasional hit. Not complaining, merely observing.

One more time

Did manage to see the twenty-year-old again last night. She’s been difficult to get out but great when she’s actually out. I keep thinking that she’s playing games, but when she does show up she doesn’t shit test.

I got to thinking about things I read online, when guys construct these epic stories about frame and getting around girl bullshit and girl psychology and so on. Those stories are sometimes very good. Sometimes, though, girls are just genuinely busy, or sick, or have things going on in their lives.

The twenty-year-old may be playing games, or she may have someone else she’s pursuing, or she may be busy, sick, or have an extensive social life. Or all four. But sometimes girls tell the truth and aren’t playing games, so a guy’s effort to decode what she’s “really” doing is futile, because there is no code.

That point may not be profound, but I have been guilty of over-thinking. I think about my own life. Often, I’m just doing things. The twenty-year-old has also been apparently willing to meet at times when I haven’t been able to. She doesn’t initiate meetings, but in my experience many chicks don’t or won’t.

(I’m deliberately omitting a few details that make my point make more sense.)

I feel like if I posted this little story about the twenty-year-old to forums, the participants would get on me about being “too beta” or her “not being that into me” or the other things guys on forums say. Sometimes those things are true. Sometimes, they’re not.

She’s difficult enough to get out that I’m basically giving up on her, or more realistically just pinging her when it’s extremely convenient to me. It’s somewhat unusual for me to see a chick so responsive texting but not meeting. And my texting is pretty disciplined and focused on meetings. Usually chicks either ghost or progress. Being kind of in-between is unusual for me. Most chicks are pretty keen for the second shot, so this one is weird for me.

I wrote two weeks ago that

I’ve felt the overwhelming urge to over-contact her. I know intellectually that to give into that urge is a mistake (the same urge I felt with the girl in the last third of this post). Any time I start to think about her, and the crush brewing, I have to stop myself and ask the key question, “Will you sending her something right now raise your chances or lower them?”

That urge is gone now; I’ve lost momentum. I don’t even have to do texting discipline. The intense desire to be close to her is not really there. I just don’t send her much beyond “let’s get together” or “you missed out on doing this thing we talked about.”

Don’t get me wrong, being with her is still nice. But that intense feelings rush has been harmed by her behavior.

Story update on the 20-year-old

Nothing has happened with the 20-year-old from this story, and we keep making tentative plans that are scuppered by various stupid young girl things. Some of her minor health problems are also in play, e.g. she has a medical appointment tonight, which I think is genuine, but the timing is also bad for me.

So this one hasn’t died off altogether, as she’s still responsive. Someone is going to point out that if she really wanted to make this happen, she would. That’s obviously true, but it’s also true that people have complicated lives, and many girls are random. I’ve gotten a lot of lays and short-term relationships off situations not exactly like this one, but pretty similar overall, where the girl seems flighty or chaotic but does eventually show up. The line isn’t dead and she’s apologetic in texting.

Most often girls just ghost when they’re uninterested.

This one hasn’t ghosted, and if she’s milking me for attention I’m not sure she’s getting much. I’m staying pretty close to logistics chat, with a little other stuff as well. I keep telling myself that if this is going to happen, it’s going to happen, and if not, life goes on. She’s going home tomorrow (college girls…) and coming back “Sunday or Monday.” A bad sign but not a fatal one. There are some things we’ve tentatively planned (because of her sexual personality I invited her to sex party in a couple weeks), one of them a thing she claims she’s long wanted to do but never done, and that I know about because I know these things.

I just really want it to happen.

I remember once, probably six or seven years ago, meeting this chick in a bar. She was very responsive to me and my friend who was out with me. She invited us to go to another bar with her, but for some reason I didn’t think it was a good idea to go immediately. She seemed like a girl playing games. We did go down an hour or so later and she was already grinding on / making out with another guy, as was her friend or whatever.

Maybe the other guy was her boyfriend, maybe something else was going on, I don’t know, but I did kick myself for being “cool” instead of just saying yes. Sometimes hard pursuit is the right thing to do.

A guy in another thread asks, “You refer to ‘less is more’ with long game.. How long between pings is recommended here?” There is no right answer and it turns out my answer is long enough to be a post. I also began a post in response to this Nash comment. I may have a problem in that I can’t explain things in like a paragraph. Too many little complications, etc.

Or I’m pouring erotic energy into writing instead of where it should be poured.

The game challenge: doing what’s unnatural

After this girl got in my head, I’ve felt the overwhelming urge to over-contact her. I know intellectually that to give into that urge is a mistake (the same urge I felt with the girl in the last third of this post). Any time I start to think about her, and the crush brewing, I have to stop myself and ask the key question, “Will you sending her something right now raise your chances or lower them?”

I know the answer is “lower them.” If you, dear reader, know anything about game, you know that little kills attraction as fast as neediness. But in my excitement about her, I want to send her a text or Snapchat; yes, she’s so young she still uses Snapchat. I want her to be as excited about me as I am about her, but I’m pretty sure she’s not.

This is also a problem I have in particular with girls who let me go in bare. The connection is much, much stronger and deeper than if I wear a condom. With a condom it’s still good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s never as overpowering and amazing and connecting as it is without. Online, everyone claims to consistently use condoms. Offline, in the real world, it’s another story.

The more general lesson about game is that game teaches guys to do things that are “unnatural” or that they wouldn’t think to do on their own. It’s like boxing or yoga in that respect. In boxing, you must be trained to step back with your back foot, or a trained opponent will smite you. In yoga, most of us don’t think carefully about our alignment and range of motion unless we receive specific training in it. In game, it’s often best to cold approach strangers (not my strongest skillset to be honest). To not contact as much as you’d like to contact.

There are others, I’m sure, and if you’re a guy reading this and have good examples, leave them in the comments or write about them on your own blog. I’m sure I’m missing many examples.

Another (possible) example: inexperienced, stupid guys have a tendency to put a girl on a pedestal, which is exactly the wrong frame. The right frame is to understand that for pretty much every pretty girl out there, some guy is fucking her. My goal as a man is to be that guy.

The best thing I can say to the girl from Thursday, this weekend, is nothing. I got a strong positive Snapchat from her on Friday morning, reciprocated somewhat Friday evening, and got something back from her right after I sent it, but I know I need to chill the fuck out. The next time I can plausibly see her is Monday. It bugs to me to know there’s a very good chance she’s out partying and possibly fucking other guys this weekend, but I have no strong way to counter that and personal commitments as well.

I need to focus on my goals for this weekend, but the girl from Thursday keeps popping into my head. Because this seems hard to me, I write them out instead. It’s hard for me not to open Darktable on my MacBook and check out the pics I took, but I know that’s a mistake for my psychologically. Part of the game (part of being alive and effective, really) is managing your own psychology. Typically I’m pretty good at this, but this one has lodged in my head. It’s probably just her hotness that’s fogging me. I need to put her out of my mind and hope that writing this will let me do so.

Slept with a twenty-year-old last night:

I slept with a twenty-year-old last night, and the amount of “game” required was minimal. She was a friend/roommate of an intern (more or less) I’ve kept in touch with, and I met the friend about a year ago while out for drinks. She has a nose ring and is sort of artistic seeming; at the time we first met I mixed some light sex talk and innuendos into the conversation, but logistics were against me and more importantly I didn’t want to vigorously hit on a girl who is connected to work, however tangentially. The attraction was there, however, primarily through eye contact. If you haven’t yet discovered the virtues of very strong eye contact, you should. And if you know of any game guides to eye contact, please post them, because I don’t have any at my fingertips.

It’s hard to describe the game when the game is mostly sub-verbal, as this one is. I was affecting something like smooth-older-Don-Draper guy, which seemed appropriate to the situation and age gap. Last year we exchanged contact info and we’ve chatted just a bit here and there. Less is more in the long game, as you are a busy man, right? I thought about whether I should sexualize those conversations but decided not to. She is in town for the summer, and like a lot of young girls she’s very flighty. She also has a bunch of minor health problems. I wasn’t sure we’d actually meet up, but last night she came out, three drinks at two bars, then to a hotel for sex, which is I think a new experience for her. No LMR, however, and she felt fantastic.

It also seems that no younger women enforce condom usage rules anymore. Bike Girl had a good body but this girl was spectacular naked, much more so than I expected. No chest at all, but everything else about her worked beautifully for me. I have a great pic of her looking over her shoulder at me; she’s obviously topless in the pic but it is more artistic than the pornographic style that usually appeals to me. When I first got into photography I just wanted typical guy stuff, with her naked and showing it all, but I’ve learned that one or two good, girl-friendly pics can make the girl much more into you. If she’s not spreading herself, it’s art, right? Seems to be the girl thinking.

In this 12 April post I was mopey about women and game, but when a solid seven, maybe low eight, much younger woman comes along, it is easy to get excited again. This one also has a relatively straightforward expiration date, assuming it goes further. I’m not sure it will, as she’s a girl who only has “guy friends” (red flag) and who is very sexual. She seems to have an unusually lengthy relationship history for a girl of her age. This weekend one of those “guy friends” is in town to celebrate something to do with school. I wasn’t quite invited along and wasn’t quite not invited along, which is fine because I don’t think it’s a good game move to get enmeshed with a dozen flighty college students. Optics are all wrong and I’d rather imply I have Friday / Saturday plans already.

Interestingly, last night she said that guys her age don’t really hit on her (I don’t believe it, but she said it). She is also a pretend model of some sort. Her n-count is pretty high for her age, I think. She started to ask me how many women I’ve been with, then stopped and said she didn’t want the question turned back on her. I said that I never ask, which is true, and things moved on.

She slept with her brother’s dirtbag 20-year-old friend when she was 15. I’m by far the oldest guy she’s slept with, and her guess as to my age was way off. I knocked a few years off my actual age. Unfortunately I was not the best, sexually speaking, as some combination of alcohol and first-time nerves inhibited performance, but I did some cunnilingus things she seems to have enjoyed and not to have experienced. I think I was “good enough,” but not as good as I really need to be.

In other game news, a friend from the sex club circuit hooked me up with her early 30s friend who recently got out of a long-term relationship and was looking for fun over the course of a long-weekend. Saw the picture in advance and we had some pretty easy fun. I attempted a threesome with her and Bike Girl, who has relapsed a bit, but it turns out this woman is not as experimental as she implied or I would hope. She says she doesn’t like sex clubs or BDSM but that she likes listening to her friend’s stories.

I’m not actively seeking new leads, but a lot of older efforts keep paying dividends. Just being flirtatious and temperately aggressive when I see an opening has gone well. I’ve internalized a lot of the behaviors to the point that they’ve become, if not an automatic reflex, then at least heavily ingrained.

I also went to a friend’s wedding recently and attempted to play the two attractive, single women off each other in order to sleep with at least one but utterly failed. It’s been a while since I’ve done any online dating and thinking about my life in the last year or two I see much of the problem with online dating: people with a lot going on who can calibrate socially often find enough opportunities offline that they don’t need to go online.

The chick from this story says she does a lot of online dating and that makes sense to me because she’s hot but also kinda fucked up and dead behind the eyes. I’m not totally knocking online dating and unless I die within the year I will likely do it again at some point. I have though been thinking about the selection bias effects that affect the pool there.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend before”

Went out with a 22-year-old girl who I met at a private sex party. When I met her at the party she was on molly, wildly fun, and incredible to be around. On the date she seemed half dead, apparently due to drinking while watching some sports game at a bar the night before.

Among other things, she doesn’t seem to have a real job, that I can discern, and she says that she moves a lot because she goes “where the wind takes me.” The most intersting thing she said, though, is that “I’ve never had a boyfriend before.” I told her I think that’s very sad (and I do think it’s sad). But it’s also pretty obvious why she hasn’t. She’s like a walking, big-titted string of millennial Red Pill cliches.

At the party where we met we made out, I fondled her quite a bit, and if I’d not been out of ammo I think we would’ve fucked. On the date it was like we were strangers. I’ve written that women are totally capricious because they can be, but it’s rarely thrust in my face as obviously as it was with this chick.

I learned a long time ago that there is no point in getting angry with chicks for their bad behavior. At best they stammer an apology and run away. It’s still not inconceivable that I’ll bang her at some point. God that chick has a great body. And she is stupid in ways she doesn’t even understand. Before I started reading Red Pill and evolutionary biology material, I don’t think I fully understood chicks like her.

Not much of a field report because very little of interest happened, but many aren’t.

What’s with guys who are with considerably uglier women? [FR?]

Like I said, Bike Girl and I went to a friend’s sex party last night, and it was fantastic. I did notice one thing: three guys in pretty good shape escorting women considerably fatter and uglier than ones those guys should’ve been with. I looked at the guys with pity but also curiosity: if you see one severely mismatched couple, that’s normal. Three, though, all with relatively more attractive men, is weird. Whenever you see a guy with a fat chick, think to yourself, “this is why game matters.”

One of the fat chicks was seriously interested in us, and while fucking her probably would’ve been better than a sea anemone, I wasn’t interested.

When I’m around fat chicks I have a habit of becoming a gym bore and discuss squat mechanics in detail. Probably I should be subtler, but fuck it.

Three solidly hot girls were there: Bike Girl and two others. One was a stunner in her 20s, a blonde high 8 in my view, and her and her new boyfriend are just getting into the scene. After round one I brought out some massage oil to use on Bike Girl. I caught the other couple’s eyes and waved them over, then offered supposed massage tips. The other guy and I spent time massaging the girls we brought, then we switched girls, and the massages acted as foreplay and led smoothly into fucking.

Overall it was a great experience, although Bike Girl expressed reservations on the way home because she says she doesn’t like fucking strangers. I reassured her that what we’d done was fun, natural, and okay. That is a component of leading and to be expected among many girls, but especially among girls who are having sexual novelty they may not be totally equipped to mentally handle. Remember that most girls don’t know what they want and are psychologically equipped to tell stories about their sexual experiences that deny their own agency. Chicks rely on guys to calibrate their internal psychological levels. If you aren’t strong enough to do that you’re going to have a lot of wayward unhappy girls in your life.

I think what happened doesn’t even qualify as “game.” It was being in the right place at the right with the right energy and letting a thing happen. The other couple wanted what they wanted and got it. Most couples aren’t good at leading either, so someone has to be willing to put themselves out there and that someone turned out to be me.

I have a longer post about how chicks deny their own sexual agency coming up.

Happy New Year! If you’re a guy in a stagnant relationship with a fat chick, this is the time to make new plans. If you’re a fat guy yourself, this is the year to quit sugar and hit the gym. It’s possible to use game to overcome body deficiencies but boy is it hard.

Most people are too lazy to make changes, which is why I have the experiences I’ve had and most guys don’t have those experiences.

How to drop a bomb on a group conversation

Last night I was having dinner with three women who I’ve known for a very long time. I dated one many years ago, and we’ve stayed friends since. Today, one is still single and basically a spinster, one is divorced, and one is married (this sounds like the setup to a sitcom, I know).

So we’re chatting, and I tell them that as usual I’m not seeing anyone seriously, and they want to know why not. They’re pretty familiar with my ways but for some reason the spinster and divorced ones want to know when I’m going to “settle down.” I tell them about Mating in Captivity and  then about how I’m seeing Bike Girl… they comment about how young she is (she’s not) and I say it:

“I don’t really like dating women over 30.”

To be sure, I said it with a cheeky grin and a bashful, “What can you do?” posture. The reaction was amazing. What was wrong with me? Was I immature? Did I have a complex from childhood? Did I not understand what older women have to offer? There were many others in this vein.

One of my friends even said I was disgusting.

I agreed and told her that she loves me because I’m disgusting and willing to tell the truth when most people lie.

This is the sort of thing that should only be said if you’re willing to play the pariah for a while. I was happy to and I knew them all well. This is NOT the sort of thing I’d usually say, especially to people I don’t know well, though I have sometimes used the “I don’t really date women over 30, but there’s something different about you” line on women over 30 I want to sleep with (or have been sleeping with, or am ramping up to sleeping with).

It’s a high-variance line that tends to create anger and fire. Be careful using it! Only do it if you’re willing to create a lot of anger (but also sometimes comedy, if it’s done well).

In some sense saying this kind of thing is socially stupid. But I did it anyway because I thought it was funny. I also don’t mind being ganged up on; it usually makes me laugh.

Plus, wine.