Snapchat in game: “Wish this was you”

Right after I wrote about why I don’t post more field reports I have something short but actionable to say… like many of you I have a moderately long list of leads who I’ve either slept with, only to see them go cold, or tried to sleep with, and like many of you I sense there’s some gold in that pile if I can just access it.

So last weekend I invited over a FWB who I’ve been seeing semi-regularly for a couple months. I’ve shot relatively high-quality nudes of her and we’ve made sex videos, so she’s familiar with me and my ways. This time, I blindfolded her and bent her over the bed. While we were having sex, I took a Snapchat of her nude back and the back of her head. No face and nothing super explicit, but anyone looking will know.

Afterward, I sent the snap to eight women, none of whom I’ve slept with but all of whom have shown at least some interest, with the caption, “Wish this was you.”

Over the course of the next day, three women blocked or unfriended me. Fine. Two looked and said nothing. Three replied and one of those said, “OMG hahahahahaha” with some emoji. I replied with a shot of my face and said, “Intensity is everything. how long has it been since you last have sex?” She replied, “Not recently…….” This does not take a subtle man to understand. I invited her out to a drink and she came back with me. I don’t remember how I got her number in the first place, although I think she was a friend-of-a-friend. During the original interaction I tried to get her out and never succeeded. She was flakey or something and I gave up.

For whatever reason this time it worked.

My guess is that she was unavailable or uninterested when I first met her, but I happened to catch her when she was horny, or bored, or her #1 crush had found a girlfriend, and she also responded to some aspect of the social proof from seeing another woman on my bed.

I don’t think I will have sex with the other two who replied because both disappeared. One out of eight for almost no effort is still a good outcome and I wasn’t sure this would work. I am going to try it, or variants on it, again, and it’s obviously very polarizing. Only use it on leads you are willing to burn. I personally like that aspect of it because it’s often good to force a “yes” or “never” decision. For modern guys attention and the withdrawal of attention are the only real tools available. This may be another post in the future.

I still advocate minimizing time on Snapchat and related social media sites, but used judiciously they can be effective. A while ago I dated a girl who is considerably younger than me and she showed me how to use Snapchat. By now most women in their 30s have and will use it. To me this is a bad sign for their overall mental health but I view it as another possible tool.

Women seem to view Snapchat as a different “channel” and using it resets the interaction after a period of no contact. Women who I wouldn’t text or who won’t text me may still respond to Snapchat.

I’m also kind of lazy (or “efficient” as I like to call it), so I am forever looking for shortcuts. This one isn’t quite a shortcut but it is a way to move leads up or out swiftly.

For whatever reason I really like making sex videos. In the sex-positive and swinger communities, it is common and convenient to trade explicit sex videos that do not have a person’s face in them, so I think I got the idea from that. They are a form of foreplay and also I think a form of social proof. Over time I expect this kind of social proof to expand dramatically. Already in the course of my life I’ve seen the way reality TV and now smartphones have made many women go from leery of photos and videos to eager models. Making your own pr0n has gone from “weird fetish” to “everyday occurrence.” An example of cultural improvement and development, I say. Soon, most pr0n will be generated by GPT-3 and other forms of AI, and only connoisseur will prefer the old-school methods of true humans.

The most worrisome thing about this whole experience is whether it should be “Wish this was you” or “Wish this were you.” The singular or plural question bothers me.

“Why don’t you post more field reports?”

To be honest, my game is not that strong and I don’t do a whole lot of cold street opens (I do some but not enough to be good). Those two are related: to get good game you have to practice it like any other skill. There are also two blogs, Good Looking Loser and Krauser, that I link to and that say pretty much everything I could say about game and much, much more. They also say it better. I don’t like to repeat other people’s work and I have a thing about efficiency, so if you want to learn more about game nuts and bolts, those two blogs and Neil Strauss’s original book The Game are all strong resources.

My game is basic and in cold approach terms mostly boring and situational. I deliver well and am good at sexualizing early. I like polarity and will filter women who don’t like sex pretty quickly. I also take rejection well and move on swiftly. Most of my game post-approach involves telling stories or sketching a scenario then asking the girl what she’d do or what she thinks of the people involved. It’s not that advanced and I do all right with it, although I’ve probably missed out a lot of “maybes.” Compared to most guys, though, I think I’ve also turned a lot of “maybes” into “yes” or into a “hard no.” A firm and final “no” can be useful.

Online dating used judiciously is also okay for me. I have a simple rule: I only use any given system for at most three weeks at a time. Most systems now show new users the best matches and degrade rapidly in quality. It’s best to activate one, use it for one to three weeks, and then delete your account for at least one or two months. I’ve done online dating on and off for a long time, and that world is constantly evolving so this advice may not be any good by the time you read it.

It’s rarer for me to find women under age 26 or 27 through online dating today, but women ages 30 – 40 are on there…. online dating has a mixed reputation and depends on strong fundamentals (see next paragraph) and strong photography. Photography really matters for online dating and I’ve looked through online dating profiles with women, and so many guys on them have total shit for pics.

Guys with good fundamentals (looks, style, body, lifting) eventually learn that game often becomes less about what you say and more about how you say it, who you are, and whether the girl is available. My most common type of interaction is getting absolutely zero traction or having a short conversation and collecting a number, only to have the girl not reply or flake after a short back and forth.

I can also leverage a lot around my job and social status or situation, so a lot of higher-quality women come indirectly from there. But those field reports will likely be boring. I’m also pretty deep into the sex positive, consensual non-monogamy, and sex party scene, which is its own form of game and one I rarely see discussed. Conventional game applies to group sex, but that world has its own logic and rules that aren’t totally amenable to field reports.

A lot of men don’t have the interest or skills to swim in this world, but I do and find its rewards rich. To me it’s a kind of next-level game that is more pleasurable and easier than cold approach. More women than you think are interested in this world, although not all women are and your success in doing this will be location dependent. There is also a stronger online component for this world than there is for conventional sex and dating.

Once you have solid fundamentals, a lot of the game is rolling the dice.