Don’t say anything, and instead change the debate

A player scheduled a date with a chick, then felt ill so he cancelled, then felt better and attempted to un-cancel (or reschedule, I guess) the date. The chick said she’s not free anymore and that she thinks he had other plans, and the other plans got cancelled. She “doesn’t believe in miracles.” Sounds like a girl who’s been around men and dating for a while.

So what would you do? Leave answers in the comments before you read on.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Okay, so what should you do? Red Pill Dad said, “That’s tough. My first thought is to make fun of her.” He also said, “Or, the other thing would be to just say: I’m sorry you feel that way—I’d still like to see you. Let’s meet at X at 7.” The player in question thinks she’s legit angry, though. He wants to reply, because “she’s essentially calling me a liar.”

I had a different take, “I’d ignore, roll off, try again next week.” Why? Attention points to the issue, and leads to “the question of the guy’s veracity” being the frame… which is not the frame you want, especially over text (if you haven’t read the essay on attention, go read it, as it’s foundational and fundamental). The issue of the player’s veracity is already lost: if he sees her in person again he can reiterate the truth, but she doesn’t believe him, and it’s unlikely that anything he can say over text will change her mind.

Even a token response seems sub-optimal to me. I’d say nothing, and doing nothing is an under-rated move. Notice how often chicks do it. And then when we (men) re-engage later, chicks act as if nothing has happened or changed. Many of us, myself included, have an often-counterproductive desire to have the last word, or to achieve closure in the conversation. We want to be right, or “right.” Chicks, however, are often willing to say nothing, and let absence speak: it can be a kind of power move, if done properly. Often, the best way to deal with the argument or disagreement is to change the frame, to not have that argument, and instead to have another. Attention to an issue foregrounds the issue. At first glance, maybe it seems as if the player’s options were fight her (weak frame) or grovel to her (also weak frame). Ignoring her, letting emotions calm down, feels like short circuiting the system.

When people argue, they are very rarely arguing about what is “right.” They are talking about their ego, their underlying big five personality traits, their social status, etc. How can we intelligently manage conflict? When a guy gets into this kind of ticky-tacky debate with a chick, he’s often lost the moment he engages. Think of nerds who engage chicks in political or social debates, that sort of thing…. they very effectively turn the chick off. Many men are overly logical with chicks, thinking that the situation is like a math problem, with a right answer. But chicks are not math problems, they are feeling/emotions problems, where logic as men know it often doesn’t apply. Many men are scientists and engineers while many chicks are social workers and HR people, telling us an important truth about chick preferences and man preferences.

The girl I call Cassie was prone to annoying feminist/SJW outbursts via text, and when she did… I ignored them and re-engaged later, when I was ready to see her. Those outbursts were annoying but overall I liked f**king her, she reliably went to sex clubs with me, and they were an annoyance but little more. I’d starve her attempt to make a fire of oxygen by not engaging, but I simultaneously didn’t agree with her feminist bullshit. That seemed like a decent middle ground to me. She’d sometimes do the same in conversation, which I also ignored, and directed the conversation to better places. I’d never have her be my girlfriend or a significant presence in my life, because she’s shown me who she is (annoying), but she is good for sex clubs and that is enough for her. She’s also said she wants to be in a relationship, not just someone’s secondary partner, but she can’t connect her off-putting feminist SJW outbursts from her lack of significant male companionship. Girls like her are not so common, but they can be found, especially in the big cities, or wherever spinsters and future spinsters gather.

Maybe the player’s desire to respond comes from scarcity mindset, and he felt the urge to get her back on board, to “fix” things… whereas that would drive her further away. Better to let her feelings change.

These strategies don’t always work and following them is no guarantee of victory (there are no guarantees in life apart from death, and that MDMA is awesome). The player with the dilemma shouldn’t have cancelled until he was sure he’d be sick. If he could have, he should have done a video call so she can hear/see he’s sick. We all make mistakes, however, and I have probably made more mistakes than most: we can only try to learn from those mistakes. If I hadn’t begun reading player blogs ten or twelve years ago there are many subtle lessons I’d not have learned.

The player should also go talk to more chicks (the answer to many dilemmas), as this one might be done with him. She might not be, you never know, but “talk to new girls” is almost always good advice.

---

An epilogue: between the time I wrote the above and published it, the player ignored the girl, and she double-texted him, with a positive second message. Ultimately she seems to have flaked, but I think the player learned from this situation. He wrote to me that he’d still like,

clarification on the interplay of strong frame and ignoring her behavior. Text admittedly makes things difficult here. But as much as you don’t want to reward bad behavior with attention, it would make sense to establish firm boundaries and expectations of behavior.

There is no perfect answer here. I see a lot of sub-optimal advice online telling guys to cut out a girl at the first time of “disrespect.” This is ridiculous for most guys, as girls naturally shit test and more simply want to see what a guy is made of… or just banter. Girls love teasing, something many online autists struggle with.

Girls also feel different things at different times. If a guy does not have almost all the women in his life he can handle, he should not be prematurely ejecting girls for being girls. A lot of the advice I see in the community is about the guy flaunting his ego and also trying to protect his ego. Go ahead and do ego projection and protection if it makes you feel good, but I’d rather make connections with chicks and get laid.

I am worried that “it would make sense to establish firm boundaries and expectations of behavior” is too much an ultimatum, and ultimatums are either a sign of weakness (most commonly) or a sign of great strength (very rarely). When a guy withdraws attention for poor behavior, that is enough: it is enough to do the thing, without announcing like a woman that the thing will be done. Much of this perceived desire to punish is about the man’s fear that he is weak, or that he somehow wishes to take revenge on all women, or to control all women.

See as well Red Pill Dad’s post, “Call a woman on her shit or put her in her place. If she’s your wife or girlfriend, OK, but even then you need to be careful, because directly confronting a woman, especially if she’s agitated or angry is falling into her frame. The best thing to do is ignore her, change the subject, or dismiss it without being combative.” Most people don’t change their minds and indeed stop listening altogether when someone confronts them head on. We most want to hear someone who already has status and/or credibility.

Integrating smart drugs, like MDMA (molly), smartly

The average guy who regularly uses drugs like MDMA (molly), coke, etc., may seem from the outside like an idiot and may even be one, but the guys who use MDMA to lead better lives don’t look or act like the average drug idiot. You probably won’t know who they are, unless they tell you, or unless you see them at a venue on a night that’s conducive to the rolling experience. Without having had that experience, it’s impossible to describe how beautiful and life-affirming it can be: and, for those reasons, it can also be a powerful tool in terms of bonding with chicks, and elevating their lives. Loads of girls love different experiences (their typical life is dreary, except when men who up to create some excitement) and it’s possible to intelligently experiment with altered states of mind and body. That almost no guys writing about the game mention this (kind of obvious) point tells us about guys writing about the game… the main exception I can think of is Delicious Tacos, who’s not writing about the game, exactly, but sometimes tweets that the most effective pickup line in the world is, “Hey, want to do some coke?” I’m not saying that should be your line… but he has a point. Loads of guys disparage nightclubs, none of them ever say, “coke is a key part of doing that game successfully.” Personally I don’t want to do coke, but its effectiveness in certain environments remains.

MDMA is better, though, as mentioned above, impossible to describe without having taken it, but it will lower inhibitions, increase tactile sensations, create greater social cohesion, and have some other positive effects, like making people who take it more open and outgoing. A lot of ppl don’t like clubs/raves, then they take MDMA, then they’re suddenly great! If clubs/raves look stupid to you, that’s because you’ve never experienced them on drugs, which is the only way they make sense. Booming nightclubs are horrible environments, unless you’re drunk or on drugs. MDMA is a much better experience than alcohol.

Girls go out and have a couple of drinks on dates because the girls are nervous and they also want to get laid, without their nervous forebrain getting in the way of their p**sies. Girls want to unabashedly and uninhibitedly love sex, but they often let their social and psychological programming and conditioning get in their way. The application of a bit of alcohol, or MDMA, can get her over the inhibition hump and into a total sex state, something that is obvious to most guys who have been around. Experienced girls will often be able to get there on their own, but even they can remain pretty inhibited until they try a little something that gets them where they want to go. Lots of girls mess things up for themselves and they know a little something will help them relax and get into the now. What can do that thing? Alcohol can, like MDMA, or coke. If it’s her first time with something like MDMA, she’ll be apprehensive, but it is an amazing experience: it opens you open to sensation and feeling and induces a kind of euphoria, if it’s paired with another person. Sense of touch becomes heightened.

There are limits to drugs, and don’t take opioids of any sort, ever, except under a doctor’s close supervision for medical reasons. That means heroin but also oxycontin, oxycodone, percocet, and many others (anyone who offers those is not your friend and needs help, but you should also maintain some distance from them). These are hugely addictive and will destroy you. Don’t hang out with people who do opioids of any kind, for any non-prescribed reason. These drugs are genuinely dangerous. In the United States we have a problem in that “drugs” are widely demonized, which makes no sense, because different drugs do wildly different things and have wildly different danger/risk profiles. Like this, a description of MDMA “therapy,” showing how this “party drug” can be deployed for other purposes. Many people find MDMA experiences with friends and lovers to be among the highlights of their life.

The best time for a girl is often that mix of fear and pleasure… a bit of fear/uncertainty/doubt is good (why riding motorcycles is so much fun for her… it’s safe enough while still feeling edgy). Drugs like mdma can do that as well, if you can show the skittish girls the research and demonstrate the substance’s purity, and explain your own experiences with it. Some party girls are pre-sold, but the girls who have never done it will need some time to integrate them into her worldview. Drugs are often like threesomes: girls are curious, but lack the organization, fortitude, and wherewithal to make them happen.

A lot of hot young girls are weird, awkward, and antisocial… a problem arguably becoming worse in the smartphone generation… until they get a little mdma/coke/booze in them, at which point they become more social, and they’re ready to shift from coke to cock. For hot girls, being weird, awkward, and antisocial when sober isn’t a problem, because plenty of guys will approach and escalate them. Such is the power of female privilege, which almost no one talks about.

Psychedelics like LSD and psilocybin aren’t sex drugs in the immediate sense. They’re drugs for opening the mind to different conscious states, and they’re better for girls you’ve already been sleepin with for a while. If the girl has already done them, compare experiences, and also congratulations because she’s telling you she’s a sexually adventurous slut. If she’s not, you can make fun of her being a scared square. In the game terms, girls who have never tried any of these drugs can be made fun of for being square and boring, and never exploring the contents of their own consciousness. It’s a light tease. Ones who have, are identifying themselves as sluts. The corollary is that guys who haven’t experimented have nothing to say–which puts it’s in a the “square” box. Part of the game is riding that edge between where the guy is not so square as to be boring but not so exciting as to be alienating. Where that line is, will exist in different spaces for different girls. I’m also finding girls who are against drugs don’t hold it against you if you frame it properly, and if you otherwise seem like a guy with a functional, good life. The kind of guy who has shit together, but who is also interested in some mind-expanding experiences, is pretty rare. Most people who have done or are interested in drugs are also druggie losers.

Because they’re druggie losers or idiots, it may seem that only girls who are amenable to that kind of thing will be into them. Or they are the stupid hippies in college. Those people can find each other and hook up and so on… but I’m not them and don’t want to mold myself to be them, personally. But the higher-caliber girls who are interested in amazing experiences won’t be obvious.

Today almost anyone can order drugs on the dark web, and test kits on the standard web from Dance Safe. Search for guidelines because they’re out there. If you are willing to read this blog you should be willing to figure some things out for yourself.

The aftermath of an MDMA roll is also important, because some drugs will leave people feeling wrung out and depressed. Whether your girl is one of them depends on you. Some girls are better off being alone and some need to snuggled and told that it’s all right. There’s no algorithm for this situation so you’ll have to feel out on your own which is best for a particular girl. Generally I prefer to separate or at least be in separate rooms during the recovery/hangover phase, if there is one.

Judicious (key word) use / offering of drugs is also almost never discussed among game guys, from what I can tell, and I’m interested in the omissions within the community. This is one. I’m not pro-drug, exactly, but look again at the description of MDMA “therapy.” It’s a better testimonial than any I give. I’ve never read a “field report” that consists of a guy talking about an MDMA-fueled music festival, or club night, or anything like that, which tells me that, again, there are missing pieces in the discourse. What are we here on this planet to do? One answer is, “have top experiences,” and for many people, this is a top experience. If a man can facilitate top experiences for a woman, that woman will bond to him. Most guys can’t, most women can’t really make anything happen, and the intersection of those two things is the dating market.

Here’s one chick’s story about her first time rolling, and the sex it entailed. Guys often can’t get hard on MDMA and girls often can’t come, but the feeling and experience itself is so amazing that neither cares. Sometimes girls can come, and when they can, their experiences often match this chick’s. If you’re aware of other, similar accounts, or want to write your own, please leave them in the comments.

Xbtusd on the “price” of sex, and how guys pay it

Default_friend predicts “The coming wave of sex negativity“, which is another way of saying, “Women will try to lower the ‘market price’ of sex by reducing supply”, and xbtusd has some thoughts about how that interacts with the “sex positivity” movement, to the extent it really exists, and most of this post is his:

There’s an embargo on saying “not all sex is good for women,” that you can think critically about how sex affects women, without being right wing or “sex negative.” It therefore becomes easy to be discredited as “not getting it” if you make any critiques of women’s sexual choices (and, perhaps, by implication, the choices of men). Because of the rules of liberal discourse, only women can weigh in on this debate in most media platforms; fortunately, you are not reading “most media platforms” right now. The women-only rule silences 50% of the population, and any woman who doesn’t agree with the pro-sex feminist take gets lumped in with the anti-sex religious nuts. A clever strategy, and yet it hurts us all when we can’t have honest conversations.

I think Default_Friend sees that discourse vacuum as harmful to women, and, simultaneously, that the narrative asserting “more and more sex for women is the only way to be empowered” is disingenuous. She’d like to see that conversation evolve: I feel like she’s pretty coherent in her worldview and consistent in her challenges to the current feminist narrative. She’d likely agree women are the worst slut shamers, and she’d understand why.

Chicks want you to make the first move, so do it

The Graphic Designer Who Hates Making the First Move is a universal story of a woman who can’t or won’t make the first move: she finds a guy she likes, “I think he’s cute and wish he’d just make the move and ask me out. I don’t get it.” Why doesn’t she make the first move? She doesn’t say. About another guy, she says, “I could ask him out myself, but I really want someone to take the lead and I want to be pursued.” Despite what you’ve heard from feminist teachers in schools, despite the bullshit you may have imbibed from the media, women are passive and won’t make the first move. As a man, it’s your job to make it, and it will almost certainly remain your job as long as men and women exist. Eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap, so, if you’re a man reading this, you’re going to need to be the actor, not the acted upon.

Sure, you may have heard women say “Ew, I can’t believe that guy hit on me.” Guess what? She’s making a female social power play, by saying that she’s so desirable and popular that she routinely rejects guys. That’s her game when she says something like that. Or, she considered the guy to be below her level (this always happens). The other day, I was walking along a strip of bars near me, and there was this woman, cute, wearing an outfit that was like 55% business / 45% T&A, skirt that was almost too short, tits almost hanging out too much, and I opened her with, I don’t know, something about business, something about the time of day, and she said something like, “Ew, no.” Or maybe just “No,” I don’t remember exactly, but it was an uncommonly cold rejection, particularly for a woman dolled up like she was.

And it doesn’t matter, the rejection, I mean.

Breaking it off with the secret affair girl

Broke it off with the girl from Women having affairs never make you use a condom, after seeing her, I don’t know, five or six times… it was very nice, and yet after each time I found myself thinking the kind of things I’ve talked about on here before, like, “You can only have one or two main priorities in your life, and a couple secondary priorities, and after that you’re out of time and energy.” A lot of people fail to have a single main priority, besides something like video games or stuffing their face with sugar, and it shows. My main priority right now should not be chasing random skirt, as doing so is not consistent with my overall life goals. Problem being, when I think I can get a cute girl to pliantly spread her legs, my hindbrain says, “SCORE” and my forebrain is missing in action. When the girl and her perky tits and flat stomach are somewhere else, the forebrain can better assert control and whisper, “WTF are you doing with your life?”, and I have to admit the forebrain has control.

We met in a neutral venue, as usual, f**ked very thoroughly, also as usual, and after that we got underwear back on and I broached the topic. I don’t remember exactly what I said but it was something like, “I like you a lot, and what we’re doing a lot, but I’m not sure we should keep doing what we’re doing.” She seemed a bit surprised, but not surprised at the same time, sort of like a pandemic is a surprise we’ve been expecting for decades, or like we’re going to be “surprised” when China invades Taiwan and we’ve spent the last five years with our heads in our asses, or like having a baby is both extremely normal and simultaneously shocking. She probed a bit about why and I was actually pretty straightforward with her, my theory being that these kinds of things rarely remain secret. It’s too easy to make a mistake, and right now I need to be focused on other matters. I didn’t specify what those other matters were. I did emphasize that I like her a lot and that this isn’t about her. I’m not sure she believed it, she seemed like she wanted to cry at one point, but the “breaking it off” conversation wasn’t long. If this were a few years from now, and I’d achieved some other things, I’d keep going. But it’s not, and I’ve not, so here we are.

She turned out to be a lot like Peaches. Similar temperament and employment situation. Hot girl who doesn’t behave like a hot girl, or seem to really get/understand that she’s a hot girl. Not really sure why she’s married (I’m not sure why she’s married, that is… maybe she knows?). She’s both very driven in some ways and drifting in some other ways. You know the people who are furiously pursuing a goal without asking themselves if the goal is worth achieving, or what happens the day after the goal? A bit like that. A girl who is very IQ smart but is kinda missing the point at the same time. Needs a lot of reassurance. Seems a bit impressed that I’m not too impressed with what she’s doing, although I think it’s a bit cool at the same time. I think she needs more sex than she’s getting at home, and while I didn’t say that to her in those exact words, I did tell her that she’s a girl who needs to be f**ked a lot… and let a lot of the rest do the implying for me.

Despite having spent not a huge amount of time with her, but some time with her… I feel like I don’t know her. Know her, know her. She’s almost always a bit reserved. She needs/likes pretty heavy BDSM. Having the actual talk with her, the clean break, seems better and truer than letter her drift away. I think a lot of women today are justifiably annoyed with the number of grown males who still exhibit a lot of “boy psychology” instead of “man psychology” (a point made in KING WARRIOR MAGICIAN LOVER: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine)… “man psychology” often means politely but firmly telling her when it’s over, so she can have psychological rest. It might hurt a bit more in the moment, but it hurts much less in the long term. Yes yes I know chicks usually ghost, but chicks do a lot of bad behavior that it’s not good to emulate. A lot of guys are so stuck at the early levels of the game that they never get to the “How to break it off?” moment. Look for guys who talk about letting girls go, if they’re discussing that they’ve often gotten to more advanced levels.

I’d be surprised, though, if this chick doesn’t propose consensual non-monogamy to her husband. Maybe she’s already been dropping hints towards that. I’ve told her things like, “You got married too young” “you need to experience life,” other slut bromides designed to convey to her that what she’s doing is normal and fun. It’s part of my effort to give her permission… you’d be surprised at what chicks will do with male permission + encouragement. Chicks are generally poor at leadership and usually need a guy to support and encourage them. I don’t know why her and her husband married so early. Well I think I know why her husband married her early, she’s hot, she’s unusual in a way compatible with his bad social skills… and he probably didn’t think, at the time, he could do any better. Still not sure he can… tough to say, until you’re on the market. Markets are where statements are proven or falsified. If they’d had kids already, them being together would make sense. I suspect she’s fundamentally a weak person, psychologically or personality-wise, because there are some things about her job and life goals that are not well supported by her husband. I’m being vague here but the specifics are too revealing. There’s gotta be something to him I’m missing, or she’s going to be one of those chicks who, after her divorce, can’t quite remember why she married in the first place. I wouldn’t be shocked if she ends up a spinster, but I think she’ll pull out of the dive and have a family at some point. If she does divorce, I’d not be surprised if she goes on a slut rampage for a bit.

In the last year I’ve been pretty monogamous, having only slept with, I dunno, four chicks, or five, something like that, not many at all, most of them recurring revenue, and most of them well spaced out from each other (COVID risk… but I’ve been vaccinated… I bet STIs are going to skyrocket this summer, as people start f**king again). I also want to say… I made some substantial changes in the last year, and they’ve been good… even with them, I’ve probably talked to 100, maybe 150, chicks, to find this one who was in the right place, right time for the potential lays (of which there have been very few). Most of them were very brief and in social circumstances, often a bunch in one day, just a “hi, how are you, what’s your name,” that sort of thing… very low-level pings. I’ve done a bit of large-group social hosting, in part cause it’s fun but also to try and keep some backup chicks in my orbit. I retweeted a Rob K. Henderson tweet, “Not only do people in committed relationships have backup mates; even people who seem quite happy with their relationships actively cultivate them…people without backup mates were twice as likely to get depressed compared to those with a solid backup.” This is what almost all successful players I’ve known in real life (not on the Internet) have done… whenever they’re in a relationship, sometimes a “relationship,” they’re also cultivating a backup roster with postions #2 – #10. Ten is a little extreme, you get the idea.

Often, they have something regular going on… it can be almost anything… a Friday night happy hour, a group hike, a dinner, a whatever, so that when they meet a new chick, it’s easy to say, “Some friends and I are doing a thing, you should come.” Way back in the mists of the time, when Mystery was doing his LA thing, he got hold of the “seven-hour rule,” that it takes the average chick about seven hours of exposure to a guy to be ready to f**k him. It can be shorter than that, obviously, but it can also be longer, for some chicks… 4 – 10 hours is a good round number. Having a guy invite a chick into his loose social orbit will often let her spend those hours around him… so that when his primary chick departs, she’s there ready to be f**ked. This is how many office affairs, teacher-student affairs, etc., start. The girl spends enough time around the guys to be comfortable enough with him to want to f**k him. She knows he’s probably not a murderer, etc., because she works with him, she’s been taught by him, whatever.

I’m not saying that’s the only way to do it, and I’m not denigrating daygame… it has its place… but there are different ways to do it, and it seems like a lot of guys writing online lack basic social skills. That basic notion is behind “parties.” Daygame and other elements of social life work together, too. I prefer real one on one dates… but sometimes you’re with a woman, and you want to have a few more on deck, and other methods come to the foreground. I don’t like getting caught in the open field without any cover around me. That’s happened to me before… not often, though. Any guy in a relationship should be able to think, “What will I do if she walks out tomorrow?” and have a good game plan ready to go. Guys who think, “She is my entire world” “I’d fall apart without her” “happy wife, happy life…” I feel bad for them. What your sports coaches told you is true, proper preparation leads to victory.

A man who won’t prepare is preparing to fail.

This is a pic Unsplash showed me when I searched for “affair”

How to build communities and find tribe

XBTUSD shines a light in the darkness of the cave, revealing what guys are missing as the scramble around in the dark, cutting their hands and mistaking pain for enlightenment.

Most sex happens in a highly social context, and most “highly social contexts” involve some kind of community—yet no one writing online talks about communities, how they form, what sustains them, how they splinter, or what value they have.

Let’s take a simple example: when I was an undergrad, I joined a fraternity. My path to joining wasn’t certain, and I didn’t plan to join until the week the decision had to be made. Initially, I saw fraternities as a way for people without social skills to “buy” a group of friends: frats had dues, and if you paid, you had a guaranteed set of dudes to get drunk and try and fuck girls with. I was lucky enough to live in mixed-age housing my freshman year and became friends with one of the BMOC (“big man on campus”) seniors who lived in my dorm. He was in one of the “cool” frats (one of the ones hot girls spent time at), and over a number of conversations he convinced me that I had it all wrong, and that I should just join, as there was little downside. He correctly pointed out the downside of joining was that if I didn’t like it, I didn’t have to spend any time there, or could de-pledge if I felt strongly enough. I’d lose the frat dues, which weren’t zero, but that wasn’t a great loss for me at the time. I decided to join and a lot of what I know about community comes from that experience. Most Americans live alienated, isolated lives, and frats are the exact opposite, which explains why so many guys have a great time in school and an unhappy time after.

Pickup is hard, and top girls don’t stay that way for long, and musings on networks

Red Pill Dad realizes that “almost everyone is doing online dating (OLD) and banging low quality chicks and then bragging about it… no one really wants to learn day game or cold approach.” [1] Well yes, and think of it this way, literally how many girls are true 7s in the entire world? The true 7s are almost always somewhere between their mid teens and mid 30s, call it 18 – 30, for legal purposes. A few 7s can persist into their early 40s, although that’s rare. A lot of girls drop from their true 7 potential into 5 or 6 territory due to poor nutrition and fitness. The number of true 8s, in the entire world, is not that high, probably a few percent of the female population, and every guy from puberty to senescence wants to bang them. They have a level of “privilege” that the male classes, who are busy working building and struggling, carrying the burden of civilization, can barely imagine, because we’re too busy toiling to try and keep a roof over the head and maybe impress the few hot chicks we’re ever exposed to (“f**king hot chicks” is a fine reason to stay in school, one not adequately emphasized).

Where do your ideas come from? Doing things, going places

A guy emails to ask, how do I write so much? Where do I get ideas? Three tiers, in descending order of importance…

* Experiences. What have I done, how did I do it, what did I learn from it. These can be negative ones, too… how did I fail, why did I fail, what did I learn from it. The best, most intersting guys are reporters. They go out, see/do things, report back on what they find. Scientists do the same, in a way… they try something, see if it works, if it works, great, if it doesn’t, why not? What can we learn about the natural world from the thing working, or not working?

Experiences generate stories, and many guys have trouble on dates or with general socializing because they don’t do much: they watch TV, play video games, scroll social media.  When someone asks, “What have you been up to?” the honest answer is “nothing much.” A better answer is “climbing a mountain” “experimenting with MDMA” “learning how to grow herb using LED lights, come over for dinner some time” “went to a concert with this chick.” A lot of guys struggle with talking to chicks because the guy has nothing interesting to say, because he doesn’t do much, or he hasn’t learn to say it in an interesting way.

* Conversations. Post enough about experiences and you might catch the attention of other interesting people. A chunk of the sex club book came from Nash questions or observations. He wanted to know about jealousy, so a comment turned into a post. XBTUSD has written a group of posts, after he left some intersting comments, and I encouraged him to start a blog of his own… instead he wrote a group of posts about his experiences. He’s asked some questions or made some observations that led me to posts. If you’re having conversations in direct messages, emails, or chat apps, keep an ear open for ideas. Breeze has also precipitated some ideas, especially around drug use (not a specialty of mine but having experimented I understand better why normal guys who get laid partake). 

Women having affairs never make you use a condom

Women having affairs never make you use a condom.

I met Carol in a coffeeshop, where she was reading uncommonly cerebral things for a hot chick. I think I have a pavlovian response to coffeeshops, because I’ve done well in them with picking up chicks. And if I don’t, there’s still the sublime reward of coffee or tea. I’ve never been a mass cold-approach daygamer, although I admire them. Friendly chitchat about her work morphed to a tenuous connection between my girlfriend and similar work. We traded numbers. The four of us had dinner a bunch of times. Normal dinners. Like friends. Except it’s noticed that I like to be friends with the prettier girls… it’s true, but I deny it. Coincidence.

The easiest and most straightforward way to start an affair is to already have a girlfriend, wife, or partner. When you first meet the other woman, she knows you are taken (“taken”). You are not a serious threat, at first, but if you exude sexuality and sexual energy, you will not be a boring herbivore either. Red Pill Dad recently wrote about how, as a young man, he hid his dick and consistently failed to escalate. He had all the makings of a chad thundercock, except the ability to execute and the killer instinct most players have. He wasn’t an herbivore grass-eater, I’d judge, but he made critical mistakes… and those mistakes explain why older guys have a decent shot with many hot young chicks, cause guys their own age lack edge and the ability to escalate into her p***y. I’m not going to write out how to exude sexuality, read the rest of the totality of The Red Quest if you wish to find answers. Sometimes, if you merely keep escalating, you will escalate a compliant but distant girl into bed. Many girls have bad game and make their own mistakes.

The woman knows that bringing around a new single man will make trouble with her man. She usually won’t do that, although if she has a “work husband” or something, she may be willing to consummate that relationship. But another couple… that is a safe, stable arrangement. In chemistry, nature prefers stable arrangements of elements and electrons. In human relationships, single people tend to gravitate together, as do people in relationships, as do people with kids, etc. Many single people in their 30s feel lonely because their friend group has escalated into another phase of life, while they’re still trying to get laid. The mechanics of their relationship change. Their friends’s apartments/houses are child proof, and their friends don’t have the energy. The best way to hang out with those friends is to bring over substantial dinner and don’t demand extensive energy expenditure, because people with kids don’t have it. They have other things, like a fundamentally meaningful life… but not the energy to relentlessly hit the bars. Even a seemingly committed player like Paul Janka can quit the game to pursue fundamental interests.

Breeze gives The Talk

“Breeze gives The Talk.” Good for him, and a deft, nuanced discussion about and analysis of this stage in the seduction. 

Breeze is going places. I wouldn’t be surprised if he winds up with a quality girlfriend… but I also wouldn’t be surprised if he plunges into the f**k clubs… he feels like an unwritten book. 

There are smart ideas from Nash in the comments as well. The comments section Breeze hosts is worthwhile.