The most powerful “privilege” is hot girl privilege, which is everywhere

A hot girl, “Heather,” moves in nearby: I chat with her because she’s hot (obviously), and I believe in fire & maneuver, or the practice of continually being in the game… a theme consistent with A lot of guys are pussies, but that means opportunity for the few who aren’t. People who succeed usually succeed because they are consistently doing things right, every day, and building towards their goals.

So I chat with this girl, Heather, who seems receptive. I run into her a few times, and find out that she’s broken up with her boyfriend and moved out of his place, which is off in a boring suburb. She doesn’t know anyone… somewhere in the beginning she mentions that she finds guys easier to get along with. Mentally, I infer that, like a lot of hot girls, her real social skills are poor, and, because she is hot, she finds it easy to attract guys who want to f**k her, but who are too pussy to make a move, into her outer orbit, where those guys offer her attention but don’t have a real shot at f**king her.

Xbtusd game updates: many leads from many girls

Over the past six months, I haven’t had much enthusiasm, time, or energy for game. Around the end of 2021, my carefully managed ENM relationship nearly blew up, because of a girl who’s been in my life (we’ll call her “long distance boyfriend girl”), for many years. I met her through someone in the same sex-party community as me. Initially, I had to turn down sleeping with her even though there was a strong mutual attraction, because at the time the rules between my girlfriend and me for sleeping with other partners weren’t clear, and my gf was out of town. Sadly, that small opportunity window closed, and long-distance-boyfriend girl started dating a dude…long distance. Most long-distance relationships are effectively non-monogamous relationships, they just lack the crucial “ethical” part.

What Happens When Women Date Women

Xbtusd is back, with a fresh report on what women who date women can teach us.

I have a bunch of friends who are lesbians—like, real lesbians, not the ones you see on Pornhub. It’s fascinating to hear about their sex lives and how they navigate the sexual landscape. However, things get really interesting when bisexual women date, or attempt to date, other bisexual women. 

The whining disparity: Male struggle is invisible to most women

Successful men have an incentive to hide how hard getting to the top and staying there is, because women don’t like weak men who whine and complain about not getting laid… or almost anything else. Guys who have some success must present it like it’s easy and organic to women, despite the fact that almost all guys experience a lot of rejection and difficulty when it comes to dating… but this can’t be stated, because the unsuccessful men die off, figuratively, in her world and her attention. Women internalize the idea that men have it easy, because that’s what a lot of successful men are marketing… because they (we) think women demand it. When a market demands fantasy, sellers offer fantasy.

Brad P’s dating education memoir “Diary of a Pickup Artist (PUA)”

I’ve read too many boring, unsubtle field reports (FRs), but Brad P’s are the opposite, full of life and hilarity… someone should turn his memoir into an audiobook, and sell it, cause if the audiobook is well done, it’ll sell to thousands of guys who can’t read (video games rot their minds), but do like a good story, will buy. Brad P has many good stories, and everything in his memoir is at the intermediate and advanced stages, which is precisely the material there’s too little of. The best part is the incipient consensual non-monogamy material, which he doesn’t develop (the preconditions weren’t right at the time), but I spot them, and talk about them later on, in the best part of this essay. One example of advanced material, he writes of sleeping with a girl who was at a concert with her brother, and telling her brother to (improbably) hit on hot Brazilian chicks. Brad_P says,

I think the guy knew he had no chance with the Brazilian girls, but he was doing the typical “Fake Player Routine” that most guys will do in this situation. Admitting that he doesn’t have the skills to nail the Brazilians is not an option, so he just pretends he’s gonna go for it. I framed it like I was doing him a favor running wing man so he could nail the 2 hotties. Like his sister was in the way or something. It’s always very easy to get a guy out of your way if he’s doing the fake player routine.

I don’t think it’s common to run into a girl out with her brother like that but he did admirably, and part of being a player is perceiving what to try in unusual circumstances. I don’t think I’d have managed the brother nearly as well. It’s cool to see how a guy succeeds in situations where I think I’d probably have failed.

Date structure and arc: how to plan and execute dates

When I’m planning and executing initial dates with a girl, I have a repeatable structure or arc that usually goes like this: date one, we meet at a bar, have a drink or two. If the girl seems particularly “on,” I might suggest drink two or three at my place. More often, I’ll suggest we go to a second bar, get a drink, make out a bit on the way there or at the bar, then suggest we go back to mine. A fair number of girls say yes. Some guys report that trying to pull on the first date increases their flake and fall-off rates greatly, but that hasn’t been my overall experience (or Red Pill Dad’s, he’s told me in private). Xbtusd says he never tries for first-date sex. My theory is that girls respect the ask, even if they say no, but that theory may be wrong. 

“Deserves” is a childish word

“Deserves” is a childish word and the people concerned with what they “deserve” are often childish, if not outright narcissistic. The topic arises cause a guy I know is with a woman whose aspiration in life is to get married, it seems. Not BE married, GET married (the difference matters). She doesn’t want kids. Weird, right? Why bother with the marriage except for social status and kids? She doesn’t want the “kids” part of marriage, the part that really matters, so it’s pure social status for her, I guess. If that weren’t enough, my buddy (we’ll call him Steve) has read and been ensorcelled by the sex club book, so he wants to try non-monogamy. Steve has good communication skills, so he’s been negotiating out what the life with him and the woman should look like, since they want different things. He’s talked to her and not come to a final conclusion, in part probably because the girl fucks really well and is hot, two things known in combination to beguile men. There are FDA warnings about such women.

They were talking and the girl said she “deserves to get married” and “deserves to be excited about getting married.” I say “said” instead of “argued” because “I deserve to get married” isn’t an argument. Adults know that people don’t get what they deserve all the time. People also often don’t get what they do deserve, to the extent any of those things are computable at all.

I’m not opposed to people “getting what they deserve…” justice and fairness are based partially on those lofty goals. But “deserve” has so many dimensions that trying to compute them, let alone talk about them, seems futile. “Deserves” may not even be a linear system, so something like linear algebra may only be useful for approximations, not the real thing. The real world has very large, maybe infinitely large, matrices that include many variables for “deserve.” Does someone who works hard and makes a lot of money but is an asshole “deserve” the money? Does someone who is a good person who gives away too much value “deserve” to get that value leeched? I don’t know, and a person could generate an infinite number of such questions, with no final answer. Life is not solvable.

Does the game have a limit? I’m still learning

For a while, I’ve thought I’ve maxed out my knowledge of the game… I know what I know, and there’s not much left to learn, cause I’ve been at it for a long time. Few days ago, though, I went out with friends and made a somewhat minor modification to the overall game, and the minor modification seemed to result in significantly improved opens and retention. “Shit,” I thought to myself, “there are still things I can do that result in what seem to be big improvements,” depending on crowd and environment. I don’t want to get specific about what I did because doing so is too revealing, but say something privately if you want to know more. If there are still things I can try to optimize, maybe game is a field that goes to infinity… you can never truly know it all. Reading most large forums, like Reddit, is unsatisfying because almost all the guys there are beginners with basic problems and situations. Nothing wrong with beginners… we’ve all been there… but “all beginners” is boring. A lot of beginners would be better off hiring a coach and spending less time on forums.

The other thing I got to thinking is a classic, but one I repeat because I saw it happen so clearly: girls get in their own way. A friend opened this hot girl, and the girl’s friend was hideous. I tried to get another guy to entertain her, but he said no, so I was like, “Fuck it, I’ll do it.” I entertain the friend for a while, maybe half an hour, then make my other buddy do it. The main friend is hitting on the hot girl. We bounce venues, and the hideous girl tells me the hot girl is out of a relationship and looking to process the breakup, or some similar girl nonsense that means, “My friend wants to hook up and have a great time.” At the new venue I entertain the friend a bit more, have a loop, open some other girls for laughs, and then I go home early cause I’m a good boy now.

Next day, apparently the hideous girl who said she was going to let her friend go fuck, didn’t do so, and hooked the hot friend into leaving. I thought it was a done deal, despite knowing that what seems to be done, isn’t, until it is. The hot girl let her “friend” get in her way. Such is the way of girls, and seeing this happen over and over again is why I laugh so hard at “feminism” and “girl power” and “girl bosses.”

My buddy is a good guy overall, and the hot girl should have done him. Whoever else she gets is probably going to be worse than him. Such is the game. Girls turn down a cornucopia of beautiful opportunities, and hold each other back, like crabs in a basket. Some men do this as well, and if you find yourself among men like that, find new friends.

Few things of value are free

The only free cheese is in a mousetrap. Some guy writes to me to ask, “Would you be able to give me some tips personally?” I guess he gets points for brazenness and going, “Will you give me for free the thing most people pay for?”, but, by that standard, the guy asking for change on the corner gets some points too. Sure buddy, I’m in a hurry to give you, a random guy, time and attention. It’s a top priority. He’s not the first with this request… if he were, I’d ignore it, but I get it often enough for me to wonder what’s wrong with these guys. I linked him to paid coaching, but I sense that the way he goes about asking for free shit is indicative of his failures with chicks… he says, “I haven’t had much success.” Right, cause if his approach with me is bad, his approaches with chicks are probably bad too. I don’t know him. He’s not offering money. Why would I bother? He lacks the wit to learn how to properly ask the question he’s asking. Why would I think he has the wit to learn anything?

He’s not written a player blog, something I recommend guys do, so he’s giving nothing back to the community. I routinely talk about “reciprocity” as a fundamental element in human relationships. Even newbie guys can have useful things to say about whatever’s happening on their journey. This guy wants free stuff… contrast him with someone like Madd Monk, who is telling his story, and who I’ve left comments for and talked with some in email. Madd Monk seems like an interesting guy who’s making some progress in the world… he may have started his player’s journey blog with my encouragement. What’s the guy asking me for free coaching providing to anyone else? Has he read me speculating that there is no real money in game coaching? This could be what chicks feel like, when guys unartfully ask them for sex.

There are ways to get advice from experienced players. Money talks. Contributions talk. A guy showing he’s worth some investment, talks. The internet is full of people trying to cadge something for nothing, while a few of us talk about the importance of real, lasting value. Prove yourself first. Men spend our entire lives proving ourselves, over and over again. Are you a man? The modern education system says “gender is just a construct,” which is the thing only two classes of guys say: the vast majority are pathetic guys who don’t get laid. The other class of guy is so high status that he can say it and get away with it, because he can already get copiously laid. He’s a version of the rich guys who dress like hobos, because they have so much money that they don’t care about he signal, or are going to counter-signal. Women who say “gender is a social construct” want to f**k guys who are hot, fun, interesting, challenging, competent, tall, desired by other women, etc…. like all the other women do… “gender is a social construct” is a troll, disconnected from their real experience and preferences. “Gender is a social construct” “I also want a guy who is over six feet tall and makes over six figures a year”—the same girl. Men learn we have to earn our way. Women get a lot of value delivered to them at puberty, by being thin and young. Create and display your value, or lose to guys who do. Choice is yours. You can choose to pick up the video game controller, or you can choose to create value.

What science, engineering, math, and other nerds get wrong about talking to women

Science, engineering, math, and other nerds often care foremost about correctness, and their conversation shows their main priority, but “caring deeply about correctness” is unusual… in conversation, most people, especially attractive women, care about creating a positive vibe, laughing, group feeling, finding hierarchies, showcasing values, yeeting the outgroup, etc. Being factually right and learning new things is less than secondary, less than tertiary. This divergence in interest and purpose leads to a common failure mode between nerds and attractive women, and the conversation often goes something like,

Cute girl: blah blah blah blather…

Nerd: Excuse me, but, actually, I need to interrupt to say I know that, in reality, if you look at the fossil record and consider what this one paper says, you’ll see…

Cute Girl: No one cares! Like I was saying, Tommy said that Bobby said this crazy thing about Bree…

Male nerds think gossip is stupid, and then discount the conversation of most attractive women, and in doing so reduce their chances of sleeping with those attractive women. Male nerds might be right or wrong about gossip being stupid, but gossip is how women determine rank and hierarchy, and thus who to f**k. Attractive women seeking good vibes are going to care a lot about fluency and how a man makes them feel, and not so much about the precise content of the man’s patter.

In contrast, someone focused on factual correctness in conversation will often stumble and pause, regroup to think, choose words carefully, stop to overwrite himself, etc. He’ll be less fluent but more accurate. Women often interpret nerd conversational style as weakness or stupidity, though it may be the opposite, as the nerd is groping towards correctness.