“She’ll accept the value proposition you’re offering at the start, whatever the form. The guy sets the frame, and it’s hard to change once in place.”
Does this sound familiar? I wrote an essay, “Women want to follow your lead: a story about a woman presenting two ways,” covering similar territory.
The more you know about women, the more you get that the vast majority live in a gray area, not in black or white. Maybe some (the religious, the dedicated polyamorous) live in a black or white world, but the vast majority don’t.
“I thus conclude she’d always fancied me but her circumstances had changed in the interim.” Complete story at the link. Something similar likely happened to the woman I wrote about in “Snapchat in game: ‘Wish this was you.’” The girl from this story is an even longer example, in terms of time passed between initial contact and lay.
If you get a hard “no” from a woman, never contact her again. But time resets a lot of clocks, and there’s often no reason to totally burn a cold lead. Cold leads can warm suddenly.
Downside is, enough time often turns attractive women fat. In the last year I’ve gotten renewed contact from three women I knew years ago, all of whom had gotten fat enough for me to be uninterested. A very strange thing and maybe a sign of getting older. One I met for a coffee, and she went nuts when I evaded her offers of drinks and dinners and said that I don’t see her in a romantic way. I pulled a total girl move, in other words. A longer story for another time. I probably ought not to have talked as much as I did about zero sugar. I also have this thing where I like to invite fatties to workout with me. They never do it.
I love this story from Tom Torero. Sometimes things go bizarrely for reasons mostly outside your control. In this case, he snagged a definite “yes girl” almost by accident. Some of the most confusing times can occur when there are no obstacles. I’m trying to think of a story similar to his, but none have that combination of fast sex with a total stranger met on public transport. A couple times I’ve slept with friends of women I’ve been sleeping with, but those situations were more social proof and seeing the moment than game.
“I fired a girl | red flags, female encroachment” is good. This is how pretty much all my relationships have ended since I broke up with the woman who I lived with and who I had two kids with:
Usually the girl would try to raise the stakes — to encroach on my territory, you might say. A mix of being less agreeable, less sexual, and more demanding. That is a fucking retarded plan for a girl to roll-out, but I’ve seen it over and over.
I see it over and over again, in my own relationships and my friends’s relationships. After living with a woman and painfully breaking up with her in my 20s (a story I might tell here) I vowed that I was never going to live with a woman again. So pretty much every relationship I’ve had dies when the woman wants to move in with me, or find a timeline for moving in.
Only two of them were really hard to let go. One was a younger girl I met in a coffeeshop and who I dated for almost two years, starting when she was 19. Not only had I vowed never to move in with a woman again, but she was way too young for that to work. Only experience can or will teach her that. Last I heard she’s in a relationship with a guy who is modestly older than her, instead of way too old for her.
The other was with a woman who wasn’t exactly a nymphomaniac, but she’d either been told or figured out that keeping a man’s balls empty is a good way of keeping a man. While she loved sex, I’m not sure she loved it more than the average girl. She also loved giving head and that did set her apart from the average girl. She would give it at every opportunity. Morning. Nights. Afternoons. I could barely keep up with her demands in that department. They never dropped off. When she was on her period, she wanted to make sure I was okay. I’ve never seen one like her before. We only broke it off because I wouldn’t marry or cohabitate. It took me a long time to get out of that script. Now that I’m out I’m likely never going back. If not never, then not for many years. I wonder what I’ll be like at age 60. By then maybe I will have mellowed enough.
She married the guy after me. No surprise. I don’t talk to her anymore but I bet he’s as happy as he can be in a marriage. When I hear women complain about guys I think about her. She didn’t complain. She wasn’t an expert cook but she would cook. And that sex. Those lips. The willingness. Her thrills. I doubt she’s been cheated on. Who would have the time or energy? If my ex (who I had the kids with) had been like her, we’d probably still be together and you wouldn’t be reading this. She, the highly sexed girl, wasn’t perfect (no one is, including me), but she had incredible fundamentals.
This is pretty accurate, although I think its success will vary by area. You should also recognize its basic outlines because I wrote a similar post (that girl I mentioned? I dropped her as she went more pro). But success will also vary by vibe and by your masculine energy. If your masculine energy and presence are low, you probably aren’t going to “salt date.”
I also don’t think this situation is going to last forever. As more guys figure out that pretending to be rich can work, girls will get wise to it. Kind of like Tinder. I heard about Tinder before it hit pop culture. For the first two years it was a gold mine. Today it’s a pile of shit. Market conditions change as people learn about the conditions and adjust their behaviors.
Dalrock tells a story that I hope is imaginary:
The other day a woman mentioned her frustration with smartphones to my wife. The woman’s complaint was that her husband would play or read on his smartphone while she browses through stores. My wife asked why that was bad, and the woman explained:
Because now he isn’t miserable.
I really, really hope the story is made up. But let’s assume it isn’t. Why would any man go shopping with a girlfriend or wife? When I’m with women, the only shopping that includes both of us together involves groceries, sex toys, or, rarely, lingerie. If women want to shop for anything else they can do so on their own time. I don’t stop at malls and don’t go to any generic clothing stores.
This really strikes me as an epidemic of guys who are unable to say “no” and mean it. Guys who can say “no” have entirely different lives than guys who can’t.
One of many reasons not to get married: being married inhibits your ability to say “no” and mean it. Marriage doesn’t remove that ability, and arguably married guys need to be able to say “no” even more than single ones, but it can inhibit it.
Exit is the only real tool modern guys have in relationships. Remove or make it more costly, and guys pay. A book I read recently got me thinking about how I should write a post on why exit is so important for modern guys.
Roy Walker’s date six lay report. Dating in Eastern Europe must be different than it is in the U.S. I don’t think I’ve gone beyond date four since I was in college. If American women won’t have sex by date three they almost never will.