“The Woman Searching for the Lust She Didn’t Have Before”

The Woman Searching for the Lust She Didn’t Have Before” is more Red Pill advice, but from a woman… this one dumped her fiancé cause “He wanted to have kids right away, move to New Jersey, and just be basic and suburban together. He was a great guy but I would have died in that environment. I’m having so much fun now (more or less).” For chicks and relationships, “Boredom = death,” a fact many guys fail to realize, and chicks just want to have “fun.” Guys whose ideas of fun include security and basic provisioning are not attractive to the vast majority of chicks.

Simultaneously, this chick knows another woman, “She’s 40-something and still looking for ‘Mr. Right.’ I don’t see anything wrong with being single and 40 but I cannot imagine searching for the ‘right’ guy for 15 more fucking years. Life is too short for that!” Yet this chick is probably heading in that direction. Or who knows, she’s going to end up being “poly.” Whatever it is, there is an element of “as you sow, so you shall reap.”

“I think how I really love when a man is strong and aggressive in his kissing. I’m not sure I need/want gentle and loving. I kind of want to be fucked and devoured.” Very much what you’ve been reading about sex techniques in this blog, Red Coco’s blog, etc., about how women like rough and dominant sex and if you’re not doing that you’re probably turning her off.

A lot of chicks, when you really really listen to them, are Red Pill. They just don’t frame it the way Red Pill guys do. What chicks want and what guys really want to do fit together. The problem is that modern feminism and schools (feminist indoctrination camps) try to disable what people instinctually want… then people get in f**ked-up relationships that never really work.

It took me an incredibly long time to recognize the need for rough sex skills. That may be why an appreciable number of chicks prefer older guys, who have learned the ropes.

“Sex is Sex. But Money Is Money.”

Sex is Sex. But Money Is Money.” This chick writes about being an escort… much of her experience is similar to what escort girls have told me, and it is a reminder of what life can look like for some younger-hotter-tighter chicks. Some chicks have the psychology to be escorts but many don’t, and the ones that don’t really really suffer if they try or succeed.

A lot of chicks get f**ked up mentally and emotionally and sometimes physically by escorting… but for the ones who have the body and personality for it, it can be an insanely easy way to make a lot of money. Straight men can’t earn substantial money from straightforward sex work, like women can, an aspect of female privilege no one talks about.

I think guys, even players, don’t 100% appreciate what the wild life of a hot young chick can look like, if she chooses it to be wild. This is also why some older, once-hot chicks get so bitter… they remember the days when hordes of men gave them money, attention, status, anything at all… and the contrast with the men who are available to them when they’re older, less hot, etc. Smart chicks see this coming and plan accordingly, but a whole lot of chicks don’t, and age smacks them in the face, hard. Not the good kind of hard either.

Being an escort, like being a player, can also be super lonely. Other chicks fear, hate, and envy the escort… guys mostly just want to f**k super hot chicks, so most hot chicks aren’t real friends with straight men… also, somewhat contrary to what you read online, most sex workers know that being a sex worker is still taboo and will have severe social ramifications if/when news gets out. So it can be isolating. This is why “seeking” or “sugar” relationships are attractive, as a guy in his 40s or 50s can pose as a pseudo-boyfriend, which is a little weird, but is more socially acceptable than f**king three or more new guys a week. Any time a girl (or a guy for that matter) who can lie about or obfuscate the sex-for-money thing, she will.

There are more sex workers in the sex club / non-monogamy space than in the regular world… or they’re more open about it, because almost everyone in that space is already sex-positive and acknowledges that humans love to f**k and we should f**k more. I think sex workers can like non-monogamy because the people are far less judgmental and far more welcoming… it becomes a community, something that sex workers need because many traditional communities will reject their work and who they are as a person. Escort girls can even be competitive with each other.

I wasn’t going to post on the blog about this, but the story seemed to touch a nerve on Twitter, so I’ll memorialize it here. Escort girls are also entrepreneurs / consultants, and many people are not cut out for that role, and are better off working for someone else.

Boredom = death

Boredom = death, when it comes to chicks that is. This chick is f**king some guy who is nice but boring, “We had sex. He’s always very tender. It’s always slow and nice. I can come easily, so I always orgasm, but I can’t say it’s from his moves, which are pretty green.” Plus, he’s weak, if you translate from chick-speak, “He’s just so kind and thoughtful. Which brings me to my one hesitation about Ben … Sometimes I worry I’m not excited enough by him.”

This guy needs to both up his game and find a chick with slightly lower SMV. The woman just broke up with a doctor she names Drew, “When Drew and I were together, we would go away most weekends. I was always dying to be with him. Like, panting for him. With Ben, it couldn’t be more opposite. I feel Zen. I wouldn’t call it ‘blah’; it’s more like calm.” She knows her SMV is at risk from aging, “He was a resident, and she was one of the nurses. This happened a year ago, when I turned 30. It killed me. It still kills me. Sometimes at work I look at his Instagram page and try to analyze it. Is he with the nurse?”, but she doesn’t act that way. Probably his nurse is a little younger and also more economically functional.

The chick in the story is probably not a good earner, “Work was tedious. I had to present a bunch of new products to the owner of the shop, who is nice but intense. She had a lot of questions. I was not my best self. Get me home to bed!”, and “Drew” knows it. I have said this in various places, but when it comes to long-term relationships, the chick’s qualities aside from “hot” and “willing” become important. The chick in the story doesn’t seem like she has much of anything that contributes to the household apart from her p***y. That’s fine for short-term, but for a lot of guys p***y is, if not a commodity, then available, and character, earning, cooking, etc. are not. Guys look for “full package,” and “Drew” was either bored of her, or looking at a more functional woman, or could be both.

It’s strange to me that more women are not working to move themselves out of the “commodity p***y” and into the “special girl” category.

Lesson for guys is simple, don’t be f**king boring, and if you are, a lot of chicks who are on the younger and hotter side of things will next you.

 

Two points on loneliness, family, and evolutionary biology

I have often banged on about evolutionary biology, it being the theoretical and intellectual core underlying game, as guys have evolved to like young hot chicks and chicks have evolved to like guys with skills, knowledge, resources, height, and status. But we are also an evolutionary puzzle,

Humans are almost unique in having menopause; most animals keep reproducing until they die in late middle-age. Why does evolution want humans to stick around without reproducing?

Because old people have already learned the local culture and can teach it to others. Henrich asks us to throw out any personal experience we have of elders; we live in a rapidly-changing world where an old person is probably “behind the times”. But for most of history, change happened glacially slowly, and old people would have spent their entire lives accumulating relevant knowledge. Imagine a Silicon Valley programmer stumped by a particularly tough bug in his code calling up his grandfather, who has seventy years’ experience in the relevant programming language.

On average, it seems like the people I know who have kids are more satisfied and content. Often they are not happier, if you think of happiness as a giddy joy, but they seem to have more purpose, and purpose can satisfy us.

What we find most satisfying when we’re younger, like status among our peers and f**king younger-hotter-tighter, we might find less satisfying when we’re older. Those thoughts are underlying Kids, the player, and the Red Pill: Comprehensive statement. We focus on the game because, although it may be sad, it’s also true that we need game and to understand women in order to form satisfying relationships, particularly in an age of legal theft via marriage and paternity fraud. It’s necessary both to guard your interests and for most guys to have a family. Many guys don’t do either one effectively. Your stage of life is relevant and I see too few guys discussing stage-of-life points, so I want to change that here.

The other point,

Postwar baby boomers, born between 1946 and 1964, were Generation Zero for the Second Demographic Transition in the United States. Now shuffling their way into their sixties and seventies, older boomers give a glimpse of the long-term downside of the post-SDT culture. If we had to pick just one word to describe it, “lonely” would do. In widely quoted research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Ashton M. Verdery and Rachel Margolis uncovered a recent surge in the number of “kinless” older adults. Lower fertility translates into fewer siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins, whether for hospital visits or emergency contacts.

That article is amazing and please read all of it. I will emphasize that living without kids for your entire life is probably contrary to our psychology and leads many people to bad second halves of their lives. It must be especially hard for guys who fail to be players and learn about chicks in the first half of their lives, then spend the second halves of their lives with no or estranged families. Suicide rates for middle-aged and older guys have been going up for a long time and I bet that’s part of the reason. Younger guys can learn game and get laid (the way is hard but it can be done), while older guys without families don’t have that source of meaning.

I’m still anti-marriage (it’s a bad contract) but I also see the sadness in many of the older people around me, and I see a lot of younger people (mostly chicks but some guys too) who seem to be heading towards that path. Game is important because it can reduce loneliness in some ways. It can also be supremely lonely in other ways, I want to add, as game and Red Pill in general can estrange you from a lot of society when you begin to learn how the real world works. Aging is more painful for women and low-status guys than for top guys, as top guys can keep nailing younger-hotter-tighter for a pretty long time. Not forever and that is where the family aspect becomes more important.

If you are a 31-one-year-old guy do not despair and think you are over the hill. You’re not and still need to learn game and do all the Red Pill things.

Perspective, “First Wave at Omaha Beach”

Perspective: your grandfather or great-grandfather may have been on the “First Wave at Omaha Beach | An account of the ‘epic human tragedy’ that unfolded when Allied troops landed on the shores of Normandy on D-Day,” facing down Nazi machine guns, artillery, tanks, and airplanes in order to free Europe from that particular political scourge.  You are afraid to talk to chicks, or unhappy because chicks are social media addicts, or lack the discipline to not cram poisonous sugar down your gullet. You are enamored of the fascistic moron in the White House, who would happily sell us all out for 30 silver (and is doing that whenever he can). On June 5 1944, your grandfather or great-grandfather may have been thinking that there is a very good chance this is the last day of his short life.

By the end of ten minutes, every sergeant is either dead or wounded. To the eyes of such men as Private Howard I. Grosser and Private First Class Gilbert G. Murdock, this clean sweep suggests that the Germans on the high ground have spotted all leaders and concentrated fire their way. Among the men who are still moving in with the tide, rifles, packs, and helmets have already been cast away in the interests of survival.

Compared to hitting the French beaches on June 6 1944, having a chick be mean to you is pretty minor.

“Enrollment Shortfalls Spread to More Colleges”

Enrollment Shortfalls Spread to More Colleges.” A few of you have noted that I seem pretty “pro-college.” I’m not pro- or anti-college. College is good for guys who have the skills and inclination to succeed, and who go to relatively inexpensive state schools and major in real subjects like computer science, engineering, economics, etc.

College is terrible for unmotivated, low-IQ guys who go because their parents told them to, or because it’s what you’re supposed to do after high school. Colleges are fleecing those kids and their families and they (the colleges) just don’t give a f**k to stop. They should be ashamed of themselves but that’s like saying the guys selling tobacco should be ashamed of themselves… shame rarely beats the profit motive.

Date-onomics (yesterday’s post, you should read it) points out that most non-engineering schools also have more women in them than men. If you are an 18-22 year old guy who wants to get laid, being in college is much better than not being in college, all else being equal.

Most expensive private schools are overpriced and will saddle you with too much debt. Most people who go to schools like Ithaca and Bucknell (named in the article) are just stupid and wasting their money. “Bucknell, where the full cost of attendance is nearly $70,000 a year, had a discount rate of about 31 percent and underspent its financial-aid budget by about $1.2 million.” 69 percent of $70 grant is still $48,000, or two to three times as much as a guy with a brain should be spending.

There is an anti-college brigade in the Red Pill world… many of their points are accurate, as college can leave you deeply in debt with nothing to show for it. College can also be an awesome, life-affirming experience. It really depends on you. Lots of guys are going to college who have no business being there, because they lack the cognitive abilities and the work ethic to make it make sense. But lots of guys should be in college because the college wage premium is real and most people are not self-taught prodigies who will make it on their own without college.

Too many guys appear to spend college doing the minimum necessary to get by and spending all their free time playing video games and watching TV or porn. For them, they might as well not go. Some guys appear to spend college developing themselves and their skills and their ability to meet with and bond with and interact with other people. For them, college is great.

Woman unhappy: High-value men won’t commit to her

Woman unhappy: high-value men won’t commit to her” is a better, more accurate title than “I Can’t Do Casual.” As with this woman, the problem is mismatched sexual market value: it’s easy for women to have casual sex with guys +2 or +3 above them but hard to get relationships from those guys. Then women yowl about the problem to other women who pet and soothe them, without getting real.

We don’t learn the age (likely over 30) or the place where the woman lives. I’ve meant to do a post on the book Date-onomics, which describes how sex ratios change dating and f**king. New York City has more single college-educated women than men , and its ratio is more lopsided than any other big city in the country. Basic women over age 30 are everywhere, and they’re all competing against hot chicks in their 20s.

Players should know this and move towards cities with a lot of women and fewer men. Women should do the opposite. I’ve had some private and Twitter conversations about this book, but it should be thrust into the open. The advice giver in the original article has either never read this book (would not be surprising) or has not thought to mention it.

The original woman likely has 1. SMV expectation mismatch and 2. Lives in a city unfavorable to her. She should move to Seattle and guys in Seattle should move to NYC, Nashville, or Austin (NYC’s cost of living for those not receiving state subsidies may be prohibitive to guys who also want to dedicate themselves to the game).

Most people (chicks and, I’m sorry to say, guys) would rather bitch about their circumstances than change them.

Most guys are invisible to the original chick,

It feels like my only options are to be alone, or to just have a rotating cast of guys to fuck while I hope that one of them might eventually deign to invite me to have an emotional connection. If I go that route, they get everything they want out of me, and I get nothing that I want. It makes me feel powerless and disposable, like they have all the power, and I hate it.

There is a third option, guys within her SMV range, but they are likely invisible to her and as unhappy with their plight (celibacy, video games) as she is with hers.

Women want emotion… AND financial support… AND from a high-value, high-status guy. It’s the woman’s trilemma. It’s easy to get any ONE of those things: weak guys will give her emotion or financial support. High-value, high-status guys will give her a tumble. Getting all three from one guy? Very hard. And many women thrash in this trilemma, without even recognizing that it exists. Sort of like how a lot of men want a young, very hot, and very loyal chick. Except for men, even getting #2 is hard.