“I Love My Girlfriend. So Why Do I Keep Cheating on Her?”

I have some more work to do before the weekend, but I saw “I Love My Girlfriend. So Why Do I Keep Cheating on Her?” and had to laugh. Guys want to bang as many girls as possible because evolution has tuned them to spread their seed. Most guys, given the choice, will sleep with as many women as possible.

Most guys, of course, don’t have the choice, and struggle to find even a single woman.

The article is funny because the woman writing the response, Lori Gottlieb, knows zero about evolutionary biology and thus cannot answer the question adequately.

If this guy has good enough game to cheat, it’s also not a surprise that his girlfriend as well as other women like him. Women like guys other women like, so when an attractive woman is with a guy, she increases his ability to get more women.

Funny how that works. And most women don’t seem to realize it.

Feminism’s internal contradictions as seen through Playboy

The Contradictory Feminist Legacy Of Playboy’s Hugh Hefner” is hilarious because it doesn’t actually say anything about Hefner. Hefner wanted to sleep with tons of hot girls and he did it. There is nothing really contradictory there. He liked sex positivity and sexual freedom for women because those things aided his interests in sleeping with tons of hot girls.

Real players like sex positivity and sexual freedom for women for the same reasons. Encouraging women to be sexually free and have lots of sex is in the interest of players. A lot of low-status guys who are learning Red Pill teachings are still angry about female nature or hate the way they have to offer support, resources, and their entire being just entice a woman to be with them.

Feminists are ambivalent. Some are sex positive because “freedom” or “equality” or just cause they like sex too. At the same time, though, being sex positive lowers the “cost” of sex to men. So guys, especially top guys, are less willing to invest time, resources, and energy into any individual woman. So when women get out of their 20s and want kids and “something serious…” they suddenly find that most of the top guys won’t go for it!

Oh no! What horror! The guy won’t invest in them. Which is what most women (still) want. Material conditions have changed a lot in the last 50 years, but human psychology still hasn’t.

Women also want to perceive themselves as victims. I have a half-written post on that subject as well. If anything goes wrong in a woman’s life, or if she doesn’t like her choices, it’s the fault of a man or men in general.

But Hefner in the end is simple. He wanted hot girls and lots of them. And he got them. All players are to some extent living his legacy.

So are women. Many are not so happy about it as early feminists thought they’d be. It turns out that when men don’t have to invest resources in a woman to get sex in return, a lot of men won’t invest resources in a woman.

Remember that evolutionary biology underlies game. Learn it, and a lot of female ambivalence and internal contradiction becomes clear.

The original HuffPo writer detects a little of these basic forces, but she’s like a pre-scientific-revolution person seeing a solar eclipse. She can see the sun occluded and understands darkness, but she has no idea why. Hell, I can tell her why, but I don’t think she’ll want to listen.

“Why so many women cheat on their husbands”

I love it when the Red Pill leaks into the larger media, as it does in “Why so many women cheat on their husbands: Women are cheating more than ever. So what does that tell us about marriage?” I’m tempted to answer, “Who cares? The important thing guys need to know is simple: Don’t get married. No marriage, no problem.” Which is true, but there are a few deeper lessons.

  1. Be the guy she cheats with, not the guy she cheats on. All guys specialize to some degree in being the provider guy or the bad boy sex guy. In today’s society the latter wins. Women make more money than ever and are more independent than ever. Even women who don’t make any money would still rather sleep with fun bad boys. So specialize accordingly.
  2. Evolutionary biology underpins game. Learn it and understand it. In a resource-constrained society, provider guys are much more likely to win and fun-loving bad boys are much more likely to die (unless they’re rich). That describes a lot of human history since the development of agriculture, but it sure doesn’t describe today.
  3. Hit the gym. Pretty obvious.
  4. Learn game.
  5. Always with the paternity test. You never really know it’s yours until the DNA says as much.
  6. Don’t get married, but you already know that.
  7. Don’t be her emotional tampon:

Not long after, another told me that while she’d never had sex with another man, she’d had so many emotional affairs and inappropriate email correspondences over the years that she’d had to buy a separate hard drive to store them all.

Always move to the physical and if you can’t get there, cut her off. I’ve had women like these, who love the thrill but won’t go the distance. Get rid of them. Up or out.

8. Because she’s never yours and it’s only your turn, I actually prefer consensual, mutual non-monogamy in the form of swinging and sex clubs. To me they’re more fun and more honest than pretending to be monogamous and then not doing that. Most guys who go have no game, so they always bring the same person; if you bring different hot girls into that atmosphere you will have your pick.

Don’t marry unless you’re ready to pay

I mean “pay” literally: “How Did Johnny Depp Find Himself in a Financial Crisis?” includes this gem: “Depp’s fiery, 15-month marriage to the actress Amber Heard cost him another $7 million.”

Depp got literally nothing out of that marriage apart from sex and some bad PR when she accused him of domestic violence. There is no reason for a man to marry today. Marriage is only a transfer of financial and attention assets from a man to a woman, as well as lawyers and whoever else can grab a piece of the action.

You probably won’t lose $7 million, but you may lose a lot more proportionally speaking. These stories should remind you that marriage is a loser for men.

Women don’t want monogamy or courtship so men don’t offer it

Dad Meets the Sexual Revolution: A politically incorrect Father’s Day guide to sex, masculinity and daughters” misses one key point: women don’t actually want monogamy and commitment from the vast majority of men. Women want exciting hot sex from bad boys with lots of options. Once a guy realizes that women don’t actually respect guys who want monogamy, he stops offering it. Women think most guys who offer monogamy without struggle are weak.

This father wonders. I know any number of accomplished women who are not prudes, who want to be more than someone’s Tinder swipe and who are looking for full and worthy partners. When these women relate the reality of modern courtship—how so many first dates end with the man making clear that not jumping into bed with him means no second date—let’s just say “empowering” is not the first word that comes to mind.

I know any number of “accomplished women” who say all that. Especially during the day or to their parents when they’re sober and far from sexual situations. But I also know most of those same women behave very differently late and night and on weekends and when they’re horny. What they tell dad is very different from how they act. Kahneman and Tversky’s research has long shown that, basically, people are full of shit (I condense, but the result stands).

Don’t listen to anything women or anyone else says. Just look at how women or anyone else behaves. Guys who look at how women behave will adjust their own behaviors accordingly. I used to think women wanted flowers and courtesy and courtly behavior. By the time I got through my freshman year of college I figured out that, while I could still get laid with those kinds of behaviors, they were holding me back. Women want guys other women want. So guys who have lots of options don’t have to offer monogamy, and guys without those options can offer to women who disdain it.

It is true that women want monogamy and commitment from the kinds of guys who don’t have to offer it.

Most guys are weak. Be different: “Today’s men are not nearly as strong as their dads were, researchers say”

Today’s men are not nearly as strong as their dads were, researchers say” is a must-read. The short, un-PC version is that most guys are pussies. Are you one? Then stop being one. Being a pussy is a choice that you make eery day.

Based on reading “Today’s men are not nearly as strong as their dads were, researchers say,” it’s not surprising that most guys have problems with women, since most guys have weak, flabby bodies matched with weak, flabby minds and weak, flabby personalities. None of those are attractive to women. If you fix those fundamentals (most guys are too busy playing video games and watching Internet porn to bother) you will beat 80% or more of guys out there.

The WaPo article says,

To look at it another way: In 1985, the typical 30-to-34-year-old man could squeeze your hand with 31 pounds more force than the typical woman of that age could. But today, older millennial men and women are roughly equal when it comes to grip strength.

Women don’t want a guy who is only as strong as they are. They want considerably strong. Tough love: if you are a pussy in the physical realm you deserve to have those problems.

I’ve had lots of problems in my life but I’ve never had some of the extreme problems with women a lot of guys have. I think that’s because I developed strong sports and athletics habits early and never gave up. The price modern guys pay is never being able to give up. Most of the guys I swam with and lifted with when I was younger are now typical fatasses, and they have all the typical older guy fatass problems.

I know I keep saying this, but that’s because it’s so important: you will beat a huge percentage of guys just by not being a pussy.

(ht Marginal Revolution)

Be aggressive and do better than most guys: “When Women Pursue Sex, Even Men Don’t Get It”

When Women Pursue Sex, Even Men Don’t Get It” is really about why most guys are pussies. Sorry, guys, but it’s true:

Women aren’t the only ones experiencing some cognitive dissonance between their animalistic urges and the social conventions of dating. “More and more men are finding it difficult to be as direct, when it comes to dating and sex, as previous generations of men maybe once were,” says Chiara Atik, author of Modern Dating: A Field Guide. We all get that the rules of traditional courtship — in which men make every single advance and women demur or acquiesce — are dead, but we haven’t replaced them with a new standard operating procedure. “Everyone’s being kind of wishy-washy,” Atik says. “Women want sex, but they don’t want to be seen as forward (or worse, desperate). Men want sex but are intimidated, unconfident, or don’t want to be seen as domineering. We’re not sure who should be the sexual instigators, and then no one really steps up to the plate.”

Now let me blunt. You, as a man, should not find “it difficult to be as direct.” You should come to find it easy. If you see a woman you like, go chat her up. If she’s receptive, ask her out. If you go out with her, you pick the venues and activities and lead her. If she seems happy or neutral on the date, you invite her back. You initiate foreplay and then sex, but in a controlled manner that sub-verbally checks in with her. You tell her what to do (while getting that feedback from her). Figure out what she likes. For some women it’s neck kisses. For some it’s their earlobes. Some (most) want to be spanked. Some want their nipples tortured. Some want their nipples caressed. Figuring out what she likes should be fun and should be directed by you. It is your job to direct those animal urges from beginning to end.

I like the game definition offered by the Good Looking Loser guy: game is looks, social freedom, style, and killer instinct. “Social freedom” and “killer instinct” are another way of saying: “Don’t be wishy-washy. Make things happen.” That’s it, whether you want to call it “game” or charisma or something else.

The rules of “traditional courtship” are not really dead. They have shifted somewhat and women are obviously much more willing to have sex now than they were in 1950 or 1900. But the man still needs to be the sexual instigator if he wants a good sex life (and he is not a celebrity or something… if he is, he does not need my advice).

Being the instigator also means you will be rejected. Probably a lot. Sorry. It hurts at first and maybe always hurts. I’ve been on a long cold streak lately, with probably 30 or 40 outright, real rejections in the last couple months. Maybe I am getting too old. Whatever it is, my choice is to give up or keep trying. I’ve probably been rejected more than the vast majority of guys. That doesn’t matter. I’ve also accomplished pretty much everything sexual I could want to accomplish. Some of that happened too soon (kids in my 20s, but at least I didn’t marry their mother / my ex). But it all happened and is still happening for me. The kinky shit I’d rather not share here has been a part of my life. But so has a lot of darkness. A lot of rejection. They come together. Very few guys get one without the other.

Chiara Atik is wrong about male-female dynamics. Men will likely always be the aggressors. If you get comfortable with being the aggressor in a calibrated way you will become attuned to indicators of interest women put out. If you do some of the obvious TRP things like lift, use your time productively, approach women, and improve your style, you will do better than most guys. You may still not do as well as the really rich, attractive, socially astute guys who have the advantages you don’t. So be it. Life isn’t fair. It never has been or will be. Life is about taking what you have and maximizing it. Many of the stories I have posted in this account are about that philosophy.

I think that women are right: most guys probably are intimidated by a woman who initiates (you shouldn’t be, if it happens, and it won’t very often). But there’s another factor, unstated by the article: most women are probably initiating with a guy several levels above their level of attractiveness. When I’ve been explicitly hit on by women, it’s almost always been by fatties or other women I wouldn’t deign to even fuck. Some of them probably went and told their friends that guys don’t like women who initiate. Ha.

Women who are as attractive as you or more attractive will very rarely explicitly hit on guys. They’ll implicitlyhit guys by smiling a lot, playing with their hair, maintaining intense eye contact, maintaining proximity, and other things like that, but they will not make the first move in the ways that I’ve made the first move. These days, I assume a woman from the past who initiates contact of any kind (text message, usually, but not always) is looking for sex, and I try to escalate appropriately if I want to.

To be clear, I think we would live in a better world if more women initiated and did so directly. But we’ll never see that world, for reasons based in biology, and consequently I don’t spend a lot of time thinking or worrying about what that world would be like, and I don’t spend time proselytizing for it.

As you move forward in your life journey you will also discover something that I wish I had discovered sooner, in that most women don’t have much to offer beyond sex. Once you realize that your whole life changes and you will become much pickier about who you date (you will also realize how badly women want to be fucking kinky and have great sex). Cause you will realize that women have almost as little control over who they find attractive as you do. You’ll learn to be that man, take the pain that comes with it (from rejection), and do better than most guys. Most women never get the kind of pain men do and consequently never develop into the person they could become.

If you are overly intimidated you are a pussy (it’s normal to feel some intimidation or trepidation, and probably only sociopaths never feel it). Stop being a pussy.