Loneliness and long term versus libido

It seems like there’s some trade-off between loneliness and libido, in a way that I didn’t feel when I was younger. For quite a few years I wanted to f**k as many hot chicks as possible, as often as I could, and when I did that, it was good. Body, soul, and psyche in perfect alignment. I still want to do that, but there is an undercurrent of loneliness and melancholy to random hookups, even with really hot chicks (some of me going on about the subject, here, here, probably some other spots too). That means I should seek something longer term, right?

Then… there is the libido thing… when I see or worse interact with a hot chick, I still want to f**k her. There are some ways to try and minimize the distinction between them… but I don’t think they’re going away, as a trade off.

I don’t have the typical 2,000 words of elaboration on the theme… it’s just a feeling that I’ve had for a while. Life is about contending with problems, not about ease. When I think about the long term, I want companionship. When I think about the next hour, I want a hot wet naked chick writhing underneath me. I think about some of the gorgeous and wonderful women I had writhing underneath me five or seven years ago, and I can barely remember some of them, in some cases. Their effect on the current life is almost zero.

Combining non-monogamy, game, and sex clubs to unlock abundance and commodification

A player I know says he was talking to a wing about the sex clubs and some of his ecosystems,

It seems that the feeling now for me is that when you channel a girl’s promiscuous side, they are subconsciously signalling to you that they are not a good choice for children due to paternity issues. The other feeling I’m getting is that all women are exchangeable – you can just trade and find a new one that suits you better. I’ve never felt like that. The talk about “Frame” seems to center on controlling a woman’s sexuality … but after going to a sex party I don’t really care what the women does if I don’t want children with her. Some very new feelings for me and not very palatable for the average red pill or tradcon commentator.

I’m not as sure about the good choice for children, cause some women going to sex clubs still want children and have (should have) the forebrain, conscious ability to be monogamous with a man in order to conceive. A lot of men are not as eager for these women as primary partners, however. But “The other feeling I’m getting is that all women are exchangeable – you can just trade and find a new one that suits you better. I’ve never felt like that,” that is accurate and true to my experience. I feel for this player, cause I’ve been feeling like that for a while… and I’ve actually become kind of weary of that feeling… which doesn’t make a huge amount of sense but it’s true. It’s the thinking behind why women hate the demystification of romance and mating offered by the game. When players build value and learn attraction triggers and game, we can move to the abundance mentality that is much-discussed online. The non-monogamy raises and increases the abundance.

This only works for the guy with some underlying value, some game, and a functioning environment (big city). If a guy has true abundance… if he has more than he can handle… he’s not so worried about controlling women’s sexuality… she should be worried about controlling her own sexuality in order to entice him. Women over time become more worried about controlling his attention and resources. When guys online write about “making her chase,” this is what they’re talking about… but it only really works after the woman has invested, not before. For a non-elite man, trying to “make her chase” when she knows nothing about you is foolish, because there is nothing for her to chase. When she figures out you are not a commodity guy, then there is.

Most women are the same… but not all of them… it takes a lot of experience to recognize the genuinely non-commodity woman. Most guys going on about their angel who isn’t like other girls… don’t realize she’s not an angel… she is like other girls… he’s just blinding himself to the obvious. Until he finds her in bed with another man, divorced, etc.

To me… the sex clubs shift female sexuality TOWARDS commodification, which can be a benefit to guys. This is what the “LOL cuck” guys miss, because they can’t imagine a different world from the scarcity one they inhabit. The player I’ve been talking to is seeing the world in a different way, based on experiences that are foreclosed to most guys. He is now seeing the secret society, which most guys don’t (can’t) do.

Just listen to the music, “bad boys bring heaven to you”

At the gym I heard an annoying song with lyrics very relevant to the game community, Heaven by Julia Michaels

They say “All good boys go to heaven”
But bad boys bring heaven to you
It’s automatic, it’s just what they do
They say “All good boys go to heaven”
But bad boys bring heaven to you

I don’t think this needs a lot of analysis for players… or for guys in general… the lesson is one players have been repeating for 20 years, maybe longer: don’t be the nice guy. Be the bad boy.

It has 46 million hits on Youtube alone. It’s performed by a decently attractive woman, although she’s overly made up, so it’s hard to say what you’d find beneath the makeup and lighting. Riv‘s been on a Twitter tear lately about makeup being lame.

Remember Rihanna, S &M?

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
‘Cause I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it
Sex in the air

125 million hits on Youtube.

So offer her whips and chains (paddles and bondage), not candles and dinners and shit.

I think I first heard this one at the gym too. I’m diligent on the squat rack but a sufficiently provocative song will make me stop and note that I need to open guys’s eyes later, before I open girls’s thighs.

Or Arianna Grande (former Disney princess girl), Side to Side,

I’ve been here all night (Ariana)
I’ve been here all day (Nicki Minaj)
And boy, got me walkin’ side to side…

Keep it down low and it’s all good:

These friends keep talkin’ way too much
Say I should give you up
Can’t hear them, no, cause I-I-I-I-I-I…

I’ve been here all night…
I’ve been here all day…
And boy, got me walkin’ side to side (side to side)

“I know you’ve got a bad reputation, but it doesn’t matter cause it gives me sensation.” So give her the sensation she wants.

The video has 1.6 billion (BILLION) views on YouTube. 1,657,662,858 views.

I am not that old… but the pop songs by woman have gotten appreciably dirtier, and the reaction to them muted… Madonna used to be scandalous… and she is tame relative Rihanna, etc. The songs by guys have always been about f**king the hottest girls… now girls have gotten in to the act.

If you watch what chicks do… listen to what they say, listen to some of the music they like… you’ll get it… the red pill and seduction/game are reactions to the mismatch between what women, particularly young hot women, want and respond to, as opposed to what a lot of our society and culture teach guys women want and respond to.

Boredom = death.

Marriage may be dead, but f**king is alive and well. Go ahead and bring heaven to her. If you don’t… someone else will.

 

What do I mean by “levels” of game/seduction discussion?

Guys have been asking what I mean when I talk about the “level” a given piece of advice operates at. There are at least two ladders of levels, maybe more. There’s the discussion/pattern ladder, and the game level.

There are GAME levels, and we’ll talk about them first… the first bunch of levels are where the man does almost all of the work, typically. Not always, but usually. Almost always if the woman is attractive. Initially, the man takes the brunt of the rejection. Sex is a fulcrum point. After it, more of the power and rejection ability shifts to the man. Men want to know, “Why won’t she put out? When will she put out?” Women want to know, “Why won’t he commit? Why doesn’t he call me after sex? Why doesn’t he acknowledge my love?” The seduction discussion among men is almost always about getting to sex and its immediate aftermath. The seduction discussion among women is almost always about a man who is high enough status and attractive enough being willing to commit to a woman.

Women are not stupid (a common refrain around here), and they know that they can have sex pretty quickly and easily if they want it. Many guys, however, don’t understand women and don’t understand that the female discussion is almost always past the “good sex” stage. There are articles about how to bait men into making the first move, especially guys who are +2 in SMV, but the bulk of the discussion happens at the later levels… “Mismatched sexual market value (SMV): Diagnosis and cures” has greater detail, and so much advice, from and to both men and women, is garbage because it doesn’t talk about SMV level. Are you accurately assessing your own SMV? The SMV of the person you’re interested in? What that disparity or lack of disparity implies? So much of the discussion doesn’t address raising SMV, which is one big advantage of the red pill discussion, which begins with lifting, fashion, and diet. It’s about raising SMV.

Too much leadup. Some possible levels in the game:

  • Non-verbal indicator of interest (IOI).
  • Approach.
  • Initial rapport/seduction/whatever.
  • Exchange of numbers and contact information.
  • Date / seduction.
  • Kissing/stroking.
  • Bounceback, logistical challenges.
  • Clothes come off.
  • Sex. This is a fulcrum point, and it’s often where the female discussion starts: women want to know how, once a man has high enough status to lay them, to please the man and keep him interested and around.
  • Comfort/aftercare/bonding, especially if the woman has had deep sexual experiences and she doesn’t want to feel cheap/used/etc. Many men fail here. Once they’ve fucked they feel their “job” is done, which is a good way to needlessly hurt a woman. This is where a lot of women don’t want to go home and a lot of men want women to go home. Not universal, obviously.
  • Repeat sex/dates.
  • Where is this going?” conversation. Defining the relationship. That kind of thing. Red Pill guys often stop here, though many don’t even get here.
  • Committed relationships.
  • Cohabitation.
  • Marriage (I think this is a bad deal for men in most Western societies but it’s here for the sake of completeness).
  • Children/family/family structure.

Later on, there is group consciousness, pattern recognition, etc. There is understanding of a woman’s needs, psychologies, etc. And not all women are the same. Continue reading “What do I mean by “levels” of game/seduction discussion?”

That one and only one about incels

Are “involuntary celibates” (incels) in the news? I have been getting questions about them for some reason, despite not having much to say about the topic… there are very few true incels out there, but they congregate and make noise online when they should be at the gym, pumping iron…. the true incels are guys with major health problems, literal retardation, etc. Most don’t have the time and attention to post on incel boards. The ones writing are mostly unhappy because of low value and SMV appropriate to their value. You can lower your value considerably by believing you have low value, and you can raise your value some by believing you have high value. Guys working hard to raise value… probably aren’t online, cause they’re working to raise their value (same reason I wisely didn’t start writing this blog sooner). The bigger problems for online “incels” are physical (typical fat/skinny fat guys) and psychological… the two are linked. Guys with bad psychologies don’t take steps to improve themselves. Guys who don’t take steps to improve themselves develop or become mired in bad psychologies. Most incels look at successful guys and only see the tip of the spear, or they’re not willing to get the girls appropriate to their SMV. Just like fat or old women don’t get prime guys. See the theme of this blog? Reciprocity and value.

Our culture lacks the rituals and efforts necessary to turn boys into men. Those rituals build male value and outside of sports and some intellectual competitions they’re dead. Many boys lack fathers or have fathers who are hysterical women, fathers who might as well be women because of their lack of masculine identity. Moving from boy to man means accepting rejection, working towards goals, suffering, and persisting in the face of suffering. Men suffer because nature is cruel and women are unpitying in their evaluation of men. Women suffer when they have no families or when they pick men who cannot provide for pregnant women or small children, and so nature has made women pitiless in their evaluation of men. The modern context is obviously different but the evolved psychology remains. The modern context also gives us lots of fake achievements: video games, porn, fantasy sports, social media counts, TV. In moderation or as a single vice many of them are fine… but a lot of guys, especially incel-identifying guys, live in the world of these fake fitness indicators, and they are so far in the fake world that their egos cannot take the real-world feedback telling them they are unfit and need to change.

Meantime they look at the absolute top men for models. Yes, it’s true there are a small number of men born blessed with looks, money, good families, etc., who get top women without intense struggle. They are probably as rare as the men born f**ked. Everyone else…. we all struggle. But looking to others above you doesn’t matter because you can’t control them or live with their advantages. You can only control yourself, as incels don’t seem to emphasize. If you are healthy enough to get a boner, there is probably someone out there for you. If your market value level is low, you need to try and raise it. It may be very hard. Most high-value guys spend many years getting there. In my limited experiences with incels, none of them seem to emphasize this, or emphasize the way their own psychologies are f**ked.

One cruelty of our modern culture is that it thrusts the most beautiful women into advertisements all around us. We should try to avoid TV ads especially for that reason but also many other forms of hyperstimulating media. Most of us, instead of avoiding them, seek them out, then are depressed comaring them to our own lives. Then we go play video games and watch porn to compensate, propagating the fake fitness cycle.

I don’t know where I am wandering with my point, except to say that I feel bad for guys who think they’re incels, because a lot of them aren’t. They are guys with bad psychology, guys who don’t recognize their market value. If you are not where you want you have three choices, 1. bitch, 2. improve your value, 3. pursue what your value gets you. 2 and 3 are not exclusive. I have met plenty of unattractive guys who realize what they’re working with, improve what they can, and get on with it…. they often marry women who are their image match, have a family, and concentrate on that. Maybe they pay for sex sometimes, I don’t know. I was at one guy’s wedding who is like this. Probably a 4 in pure physical attractiveness and he married a woman around that same neighborhood. He’s a little chubby, she’s a little chubby. He’s short, she’s short. They have a couple of kids. People like this… they don’t make a lot of noise online. They don’t sit in forums complaining. The guy has a good job and career and gets where he’s at and works with it.

This is likely to be my only post on the topic of incels because creating a whole identity around perceiving yourself as a loser strikes me as retarded, and I don’t have a lot of time for retards. Incels probably project a retarded identity around them in real life, so anyone successful doesn’t want to be around them, perpetuating their cycle of failure. I have time for people who, if they are starting from a bad place, are working to make progress. I am only really interested in people who want to progress. People who want to stay mired where they are and bitch about being covered in mud cause they’re stuck in the mud… they are not interesting to me or anyone else. Lease of all attractive women. The smallest amount of progress is better than none. If a guy thinks he is an incel, if he has a functioning body, why is he writing online instead of doing a pushup?

Three chicks on the state of big-city dating

I stop by for takeout (no bread) after an event and eat about half of it there. The only space available is at a larger table. While I’m waiting for the meal, there are three chicks, one of them in the middle of the other two, and she is orating like Abraham f**king Lincoln. Girl will not shut up… put her in a reality TV show confessional and you’d have a show. She’s a very low 7 or high 6… I’ve done worse… I’ve done a lot better too… I learn she’d been f**king some guy, Orlando, from her work, and had discovered thanks to social media that he says “I love you” etc. to another woman. Mistake #1 from Orlando: don’t let your side piece into your social media.

This chick asks Orlando who the other woman is, and Orlando won’t give her a straight answer. The chick contacts the other woman and they talk. The other woman asked “Condoms?” The chick said no condoms were used. The other woman asked, “Birth control?” The chick said yes, she is on birth control and doesn’t want to bear some random’s child. They met up, had a drink, the other woman got too drunk and the chick I was listening to had to bring the other woman back to Orlando. This Orlando fellow is apparently an immigrant, too. Can’t tell if the speaker was white or Latina. He’s not paying for the apartment, the other woman is!

Continue reading “Three chicks on the state of big-city dating”

“Sex is Sex. But Money Is Money.”

Sex is Sex. But Money Is Money.” This chick writes about being an escort… much of her experience is similar to what escort girls have told me, and it is a reminder of what life can look like for some younger-hotter-tighter chicks. Some chicks have the psychology to be escorts but many don’t, and the ones that don’t really really suffer if they try or succeed.

A lot of chicks get f**ked up mentally and emotionally and sometimes physically by escorting… but for the ones who have the body and personality for it, it can be an insanely easy way to make a lot of money. Straight men can’t earn substantial money from straightforward sex work, like women can, an aspect of female privilege no one talks about.

I think guys, even players, don’t 100% appreciate what the wild life of a hot young chick can look like, if she chooses it to be wild. This is also why some older, once-hot chicks get so bitter… they remember the days when hordes of men gave them money, attention, status, anything at all… and the contrast with the men who are available to them when they’re older, less hot, etc. Smart chicks see this coming and plan accordingly, but a whole lot of chicks don’t, and age smacks them in the face, hard. Not the good kind of hard either.

Being an escort, like being a player, can also be super lonely. Other chicks fear, hate, and envy the escort… guys mostly just want to f**k super hot chicks, so most hot chicks aren’t real friends with straight men… also, somewhat contrary to what you read online, most sex workers know that being a sex worker is still taboo and will have severe social ramifications if/when news gets out. So it can be isolating. This is why “seeking” or “sugar” relationships are attractive, as a guy in his 40s or 50s can pose as a pseudo-boyfriend, which is a little weird, but is more socially acceptable than f**king three or more new guys a week. Any time a girl (or a guy for that matter) who can lie about or obfuscate the sex-for-money thing, she will.

There are more sex workers in the sex club / non-monogamy space than in the regular world… or they’re more open about it, because almost everyone in that space is already sex-positive and acknowledges that humans love to f**k and we should f**k more. I think sex workers can like non-monogamy because the people are far less judgmental and far more welcoming… it becomes a community, something that sex workers need because many traditional communities will reject their work and who they are as a person. Escort girls can even be competitive with each other.

I wasn’t going to post on the blog about this, but the story seemed to touch a nerve on Twitter, so I’ll memorialize it here. Escort girls are also entrepreneurs / consultants, and many people are not cut out for that role, and are better off working for someone else.