What to write about in your game/player blog

Guys have asked, “What should I write about in the game blog?” (I said originally that the game blog acts as an ad to collaborators, among other things… check out the link). Write about whatever is going on and whatever you think about it, positive or negative. Most players who develop any skill will have some positive and some negative experiences, and readers respond well to something approximating authenticity. Write to teach yourself (it works) but also write to inspire other guys in their journeys… I retarded my own growth by not writing. Write too for others: over time, search engine traffic to your game blog will go up, leading to a virtuous cycle of men teaching men, and you never know when the right guy will stumble upon you and achieve enlightenment. The horrors of modern feminism happened because millions of women talked to each other about how to extract resources from men and avoid responsibility, and today men are too busy with video games to understand the world we live in. We need to teach other.

So if you did 10 approaches and they all failed, write about that. If you just had your first threesome, write about that. If you aren’t getting the things you want, write about that. If you are getting something you want, write about that. Write about the journey that brings you to where you are today and what you are doing this week to get you where you want to go. Write about the world around you. Few experiences are 100% positive or 100% negative. The guys who write overwhelmingly of one or the other either have skewed lives, or their psychologies are skewed, or there is something else going on.

Frustration and negativity also depend on a lot of things… like, if you’re a male 5 chasing female 7s, you’re going to have a hard time. Judge guys based on where they start and where they get to… if you’re a male 4 and improve yourself to a 5 and snag a 6, that’s victory, IMO. If you’re a male high 7 and are slumming it with 5s, that’s a thing you can do, but it won’t be that interesting to others. A well-known professional actor’s game blog wouldn’t be very intersting either… imagine, “I had to choose among a Victoria’s Secret Model, a starlette, the hottest waitress in LA, and another model, but I had to get up for a shoot in the morning, so I just had a threesome with two 9s.” Not problems most guys can relate to. If you are making some progress but not getting laid, write about that.

If your experience is 100% negative frustration, and you have volume (you don’t live in a small town/city), I don’t know what to say… you might lack any number of things… there are probably game checklists out there. The usual advice about lifting, fixing your diet, developing generic social skills without cold approach pressure… those things all apply.

There’s a saying in game, “Say what you see.” If you can’t think of things to say, talk about whatever you’re seeing and what you think about it. If you can think of any general lessons, talk about them. If you run a/b tests, describe what you find.

I started writing on Reddit, figuring I had a couple of things to say… then it turned out I had more to say… then I realized that many of the readers, voters, and moderators there are… who they are. Not all are fools, I want to add, but enough are fools that it’s impossible to explore the contours of non-monogamy there, and I am also not a fan of being beholden to the capricious. I began writing here, propitiously, a bit before Ms. Slav appeared, and she was an unusual experience: every guy has a thing about “this one girl who is different,” but I will claim that I have enough experience to say she is different.

It is important to write on your own platform, not on Reddit or in a moderated forum, because you are harder to silence on a website than on someone else’s site. Forum quality declines to the level of the persons willing to spend enough time to moderate it. That rule explains much of what one sees. Independence is valuable.

A lot of guys, too, don’t really want to be players and just want to get a pretty and acceptable girlfriend. That’s a fine goal. It probably means the game blog will be truncated, just as many men’s lives are truncated by emotionally and psychologically murderous women. Or by emotionally, physically, and psychologically glorious women, who limit a man’s desire to chase strange. Just practice and tell us what happens. With enough practice you will become good, relative to where you started. I realized that I am the only person writing, who I am aware of, who has approached non-monogamy in the specific way I’ve been doing. Your revelations, which you teach yourself by writing, might also be useful to other guys. I know of at least two other guys who are seriously doing something like I have been doing, and another 10 – 20 who have read the book carefully and are thinking about it. If those other guys write their own stories, we’ll get rolling towards something like a movement. I just checked and about 30 ppl found their way here from search today. 20 – 50 will find their way here tomorrow. How did you find your way into the community? Probably from search, from a random link somewhere… I have links to all these guys, who all do something to shape the world we live in…

* Krauser PUA

* Dalrock

* Roy Walker

* Days of Game

* Rollo Tomassi / The Rational Male

* Magnum

* Good Looking Loser

* Tom Torero

* Red Pill Dad blog

* Kill Your Inner Loser

* Reddit Red Pill

Bring back knowledge from your journey and share the knowledge. Some of the writers above disagree with each other… some of them I often disagree with… all of them I think advance things a bit. Go advance things.

The three-date “rule” before sex

Players (and, more often, wannabes) talk about the three-date “rule” before sex… guys will say, “If you don’t have sex by the end of date three, drop her.” I think this rule is too strict, but it’s useful to analyze the mindset and experience this “rule” comes from… guys who are used to being taken advantage of, and from guys who are probably taking girls on expensive, elaborate dates (like dinner). Those guys worry that the girl is just tooling them for money and attention. If you’ve presented yourself as a provider guy and are spending $50+ per date… the girl might show up just to get free meals… like a squirrel in the back yard will keep showing up to eat birdseed, instead of going through the arduous process of hunting acorns. Smart and functional girls know that nothing valuable is truly “free,” but they might like the attention and have nothing else going on, so they’re happy to absorb free meals and some male attention, even if it’s shitty low-quality attention. Guys have also heard stories about fast pulls of hot girls and then think every girl can/should be pulled and f**ked fast… my own stories like this one advance the “girls will f**k fast” narrative.

I think this is the wrong mindset… Krauser’s memoirs, for example, are full of stories about five or more dates before sex… some hot girls need time. Instead of chasing speed, apply a simple test to the girl and the dates…: 1. is progress being made? and 2. Do you enjoy spending time with the girl? (I may have subconsciously stolen these from someone else, and if so sorry… I am not claiming to be the first guy to talk about the subject at hand…). You could add 3., does she seem to be tooling you for value? Some girls are intensely pleasurable to be around, and some girls are a chore whose presence might be okay if that’s the road to sex but otherwise have little going for them.

Experience will help you feel out each situation. Mr. V wrote “+1. Was able to get past LMR this time! Prob worth a lay report to dive deeper/lessons.

Now, imagine a girl breaks up with you, then you fly 8 hours to see her, and the very next day she fucks some other dude…

Last night I was that other dude”

Good work Mr. V. Another guy predictably wrote, “Hats off to your patience, I would have given up after 3rd date.” Mr. V replied with the test I mentioned, about progress and pleasurable company . Mystery’s 7 hour rule is an average. Some girls can be had in less time, some girls need more time. “Progress” will mean different things with each girl, but I’d count something like kissing, making out, touching her body, her touching yours, feeling her responsiveness, etc., as progress. If she’s ice-cold on the first date and ice-cold on the third date, then it’s time to roll off and let her go.

If she’s running hot and then cooler and then hot again, maybe she’s deciding between guys, or has something else going on. Some girls will also be ready to f**k but then get their periods, or get colds, or have something else that gets in the way and interrupts momentum, but if the guy is patient, it will happen.

Clearly each guy should do what he wants to do. But some hot and wonderful girls take longer than others… they have not been my main study, but they can be good. Patience can be good. I also don’t buy into the idea that the longer a guy has to wait, the better the girl is. Some quality girls are horny and want it now, some need to know the guy better and spend more time with him. How fast she goes is not a perfect indicator of how much she likes you. Some girls who are so-so about a guy in the beginning will warm up to him over time.

The quality of girl will also vary with how much energy you put into dating her. I might go for a lower-quality girl who is convenient and available… but I wouldn’t put a lot of effort into chasing her… this seems pretty obvious to me.

Mr. V may have a longer field report incoming… expect a link when it appears.

I don’t tell other guys what to do. Personality traits and dating

I don’t tell other guys what to do, unless they ask (or unless, in a business setting, I’m paying them)… even if they do ask, I aim to set up the problem space and the principles involved, then let them decide for themselves. There’s some divergence between me and other other guys on topics (example), and that’s fine…. read me, read them, decide for yourself. The basic principles of game and seduction are well established and if you want to ignore them, do it. I’m writing about my experiences and observations… maybe they’ll work for you… maybe not… I have said to guys privately, “Assume everything I write is bullshit and try it out for yourself.” What I do isn’t for everyone… we all have different preferences, life experiences, big five personality traits, etc. What is right for me may not be right for you, or for other guys. I’m just talking about what I’ve found… and how I’ve organized it and what some of the underlying principles are, or seem to be. I also don’t have the energy for online combat… it’s largely pointless… if other guys want to do other things, good, go do them… that is fine. Experience teaches best.

I will argue that most guys don’t understand what is possible, for the right guy, and most guys don’t know s**t about women. The stories are about what’s possible. We’re social learners and I don’t think most guys get how deep the rabbit hole goes.

In terms of five-factor personality, I am pretty open to experience, as regular readers will understand. My conscientious is strongly bifurcated… I am super conscientious in many respects, but also very easy going and careless in others… this could be unusual. I’m not sure. Extraversion is similar… I need to time to recharge from social experiences but I am also capable of managing social experiences, like all players must be. I can be agreeable in some ways, especially in social circumstances, but I have also read How To Win Friends and Influence People, and head-on disagreement rarely solves or improves anything. To change a person’s view, come at the views via indirect angles that slowly change foundations over time. Direct disagreeability is usually counterproductive. Status/coolness first, THEN evangelize for whatever the thing is. I’m low neuroticism… no surprise there… many women are highly neurotic, and I calm them down well.

How many marry out of tiredness or desperation?

I wonder how many guys (and girls) get in relationships or marriages not because they really truly want to, but because their dating markets are thin and the courtship process is onerous and annoying.

There’s no way to answer this question, but I bet the number of people who are in relationships because they really truly want to be is smaller than the number of people who are in relationships because they feel they can’t do better, or are tired of flakey chicks, etc. I believe that, subconsciously, I responded well to non-monogamy for a bunch of reasons… one being that it can effectively deal with the large number of flakey chicks out there. One reliable girl is better than 10 flakey ones and if a flakey one shows up on a date with the reliable girl, it’s a win-win.

Get outside of the big cities and you’ll see the dating market get really thin really fast. In that environment, pairing up makes sense, because the good ones won’t be on the market forever. It’s more attractive to be an eternal bachelor in the thicker, dense cities, because there is always new tail around the corner.

Women can think the same thing but the biological clock is working against them to a much greater degree past age 30. So many women in their 30s in the big cities are trending towards spinsterhood because they misuse their valuable assets.

Very few people do things for entirely “rational” reasons (I used to think I knew what “rational” means in general, now I don’t really), and understanding our own internal drives is very difficult.

How not to be boring on dates

You know boredom = death. You don’t know how to not be boring. “Talk Less. Listen More. Here’s How. Lessons in the art of listening, from a C.I.A. agent, a focus group moderator and more.”

Good listeners ask good questions. One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned as a journalist is that anyone can be interesting if you ask the right questions. That is, if you ask truly curious questions that don’t have the hidden agenda of fixing, saving, advising, convincing or correcting. Curious questions don’t begin with “Wouldn’t you agree…?” or “Don’t you think…?” and they definitely don’t end with “right?” The idea is to explore the other person’s point of view, not sway it.

Often it’s better to make statements than ask questions.

You also want to avoid asking people personal and appraising questions like “What do you do for a living?” or “What part of town do you live in?” or “What school did you go to?” or “Are you married?” This line of questioning is not an honest attempt to get to know who you’re talking to so much as rank them in the social hierarchy. It’s more like an interrogation and, as a former C.I.A. agent told me, interrogation will get you information, but it won’t be credible or reliable.

In social situations, peppering people with judgmental questions is likely to shift the conversation into a superficial, self-promoting elevator pitch. In other words, the kinds of conversations that make you want to leave the party early and rush home to your dog.

Instead, ask about people’s interests. Try to find out what excites or aggravates them — their daily pleasures or what keeps them up at night. Ask about the last movie they saw or for the story behind a piece of jewelry they’re wearing. Also good are expansive questions, such as, “If you could spend a month anywhere in the world, where would you go?”

Research indicates that when people who don’t know each other well ask each other these types of questions, they feel more connected than if they spent time together accomplishing a task. They are the same kinds of questions listed in the widely circulated article “36 Questions That Lead to Love” and are similar to the conversation starters suggested by the Family Dinner Project, which encourages device-free and listening-focused meals.

These are things players teach guys to do. Many guys are technical, focused on achievement, and blind to most of the emotions/feelings chicks have. Conversationally, many guys see in black and white, while chicks see in full color. Most chicks are not results-oriented, they’re feelings-oriented, so when guys try to talk about whatever they’re learning or their latest achievement, most chicks zone out. It’s even worse when the guy’s only achievement is from playing video games

There are exceptions. If a guy has learned something about dancing, acroyoga, theater, singing, etc., a lot of chicks will be interested in that. Lots of chicks are into gossip, but gossip is dangerous, if you make her think you’re not part of the secret society or are going to judge her sexually. Gossip is also irrelevant from online dates with girls who you don’t interact with socially.

Good conversationalists get that way through practice. If you’re the typical online social retard it’s going to take you a while to get there. You practice a little bit every day and after a couple years you get pretty good. Like everything else.

Socially skilled players also know when to break rapport. If she’s rambling on about her family, treating you like a girlfriend, etc., or extensively engaging in long, too-safe topics, it can be useful to break rapport, spike her sexually, etc. Every situation is different and no guy does this perfectly all the time. As usual, Krauser’s textbooks have loads of details on this subject and much more depth than I can offer. I have heard many chicks complain about boring conversations with guys and many guys complain that chicks seem bored and bitchy… rather than blaming chicks for being who they are or blaming guys for being who we are, I suggest pragmatically upping your skills, instead of complaining.

Game, intelligence, IQ, image match

The players writing about the game almost always have above-average intelligence, and it shows in their writing. This makes sense because you can’t be a total dummy and develop high-level game skills. It’s too complex to learn the skills, integrate the skills, practice the skills, and so on, for real dummbies to do this. You have to do plan and execute ideas. Some of the things you do may not bear fruit for many months or years. Diet and exercise discipline is hard. You must learn from harsh rejections and cruel women. If you are too stupid to get feedback from women, incorporate the feedback, make changes, and try again, you will fail.

We know quite a bit about food and nutrition but it takes time and energy to learn these things, which many people never do. I myself have spent thousands of dollars over the years on coaches, trainers, and physical therapy (to repair damage). These things are impractical for the ignorant or just stupid. Someone bedazzled by images and unable to learn from reading is probably not going to execute the game effectively. Someone who likes playing video games to the detriment of the rest of his life, same problem.

Don’t want to toot my own horn too much, but I have heard guys who get into this say there are fewer idiots than they expected. To be sure “smart” isn’t everything and smart-enough people can have motivated reasoning problems. Krauser, to use one sample, suffers from a lot of motivated reasoning and racism but his overall IQ can’t be so low. The racism and foolishly anti-immigrant sentiment is linked to his motivated reasoning; he often denies historical and scientific fact that conflicts with his racist, in-group views. Yet his overall IQ is evident from his writing.

Going back to the image match thing, some girls will not sleep with guys below some minimum IQ (or will do so very rarely and in exceptional circumstances, like sports heroes or very hot guys). I’ve had success with smart girls who won’t f**k stupid guys but who are pretty. They have a small market because plenty of smart guys smarten themselves out of style, social skills, and game. Think about many engineers and programmers on the autism spectrum. So I can end up pressing a lot of those girls’s buttons very quickly. Some pretty but smart girls have found me almost a relief, and they are not super common themselves but I have found myself in a lot of situations where they congregate. Dumb girls will often f**k smart guys who are also fun and flirty, so smart guys with game and go down in IQ and still touch on the smarter girls.

It can go the other way, too… for long term relationships… after you have f**ked a girl a couple hundred times, maybe a thousand times… her physical beauty is just not going to be as important as it was the first time you saw her, the first time you got her nude, etc. It won’t be unimportant but it won’t matter as much. Her capacity to say surprising things, learn new things, etc…. that can continue for her entire lifespan. Smarter girls will also understand the importance of fitness and nutrition, and they will have the ability to understand that eating the ice cream today has important consequences tomorrow. The smartest people don’t just take in, judge, and evaluation new information… they use that information effectively to make changes. Longer-term relationships work better with girls who are effective than girls who are ineffective.

Our society does a poor job teaching guys what chicks want… so guys who want to really know, have to learn for ourselves, and from other guys. This is hard for guys who are blinded by advertising, video games, etc., or guys who are just dumb.

Where I’m on-board with alternative lifestyles and where I deviate

Someone wrote about their experiences,

>>I bailed on the SF hippies… and you overlap with them in many ways… but are wiser, as I see it.

I have some overlap, but the SF hippies have no knowledge of history (communes and free love have been tried), no knowledge of evolutionary biology, no knowledge of economics, and no knowledge of game theory. Their ideology is usually one that allows them to attempt to take value without offering similar value in return. The minute you get into that kind of situation, things fall apart fast (this is why socialism doesn’t work: lack of reciprocity and encouraging people to take without giving). Evolutionary biologist Geoffrey Miller describes SF hippie weaknesses, “Polyamory Is Growing—And We Need To Get Serious About It.” The hippies, consciously “alt” type people… are not serious about it. Fine, good for them. I have run into them now and then, then go about my business, ignoring them. The hotter women… almost all have some sense of their value, and they don’t want to give that away. The low-value women are fine with the hippie thing.

I DO want to make the world a better place. I DO think monogamy doesn’t work for many people. I DO want to have ecstatic experiences. So we have some things in common. But I am too pragmatic for SF hippies.

Marriage today is a problem because it assumes lifelong partnership and a stay-at-home wife who should get half the resources in the event of divorce. Today, most partnerships are not lifelong and most wives don’t stay at home or maintain themselves or submit to their husbands sexually or be truly monogamous. Marriage lets women take without giving… like socialism, it fails for a lot of people. So the whole marriage contract makes no sense, for anyone who thinks about it for ten minutes.

I think kids are important, but marriage is bad… almost no one is thinking this through. Most people maybe need the romantic mystification to have kids. They believe the lifelong love myth, long enough to have a couple kids, then they get divorced, which is catastrophic for the individual, but maybe good for the group and society and the selfish genes.

So I am thinking about how to have shorter-term pair bonds, how to have kids, how to negotiate those kinds of things, but without the marriage expectation.

Most chicks have not thought about any of this stuff either. When I introduce a chick to non-monogamy, she can later get the rest of my payload and my theories / interests, cause she is starting to get it, to see things differently. Sort of like how pickup and dating advice from pickup artists leads a lot of guys into the Red Pill. It starts at sex… then it leads towards other places. Political and societal places.

I don’t think I have all the answers… I am trying to follow the thread.

I have also been called calculated and similar things by chicks… the chicks are probably right. It is a downside to the analytic mindset. I don’t have as much of the passionate, headlong rush in me.

Stability and novelty/pleasure are probably just not going to happen fully together. Possible solutions to this problem interest me.